THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[NjoyStick]

Day 20 for me, been 4 months since she dumped me for the same BS reasons i've seen around the forum, love you but not in love and stuff, a week after the dumping dated someone else and shortly after started a relationship with him... Been cold and distant to me after the dumping, is in a relationship for a couple of months now and already acting for weeks like she is super happy with this guy and posting her facebook full of posts of them and pictures... I blocked her already but saw it through a friend... Haven't seen anything from her since 3 weeks and keeping it like that!

Been together for 4 years...

[skheehee]

Day 6

 

The funniest thing happened last night. A friend of mine posted a picture from 9gag onto my Facebook wall a few days ago. I don't know if any of you have seen this but it went along the lines of a girl who "cheated" on a guy during towards the end of her relationship, and gives all kinds of reasons to her ex boyfriend for the whole fiasco. The scorned ex simply says, "you're a f***ing ****". True 9gag style. My friend posted this on my wall because he and I are going through the same phase in life, his side a little worse in the sense that his ex got engaged to another guy just weeks after breaking up with him. So he posted on my wall to cheer me up.

 

My ex, whom i suspect, has been checking up on my profile every now and then, happened to see this post, I think... Because last night, she posted on her wall, "If I am such a ****, why are you still chasing me? Well done with the story telling." Haha... This just made my day yesterday, because 1) I know that she still "cares" and "loves" me because she keeps checking in on my profile, and 2) it's like indirectly slapping some sense into her. Some of our ex's really need to wake up and see things as they really are.

 

P.S. I was really tempted to reply with a comment but I took a step back and thought that I should just leave her be. Nothing can go wrong if you do nothing.

[WhatSetsUs]

Day 7

 

So I've made it through a whole week without speaking to my ex. It wasn't too bad either, but I'm afraid that it might be because this week was really eventful for me. With the shortened class week, the 4th of July celebrations, and then having my friends visit for the weekend, I haven't really had the opportunity to be alone and think about my ex. I mean, it was really a good week, and nice not to feel so down about the situation as I had been in weeks prior. This upcoming week will be a lot more like a typical week for me: I have a full week of class but besides that I have nothing planned. That means there will be a lot of alone time, and a lot of time to think about my ex. I have a feeling that this week will be much harder for me emotionally...and hopefully I'll stay consistent with NC.

[Pleasedonot5]

Day 2

 

Today was a mix of emotions for me. I learned that I feel best when I'm surrounded by lots of attention, especially female attention

 

My day started off pretty crappy... I had another dream of her (nothing new, it's happened for the past month or so now) and I couldn't get her off my mind. I ran hills with some of my running buddies, and worked out with some other people afterwards, which felt good, but that wouldn't shake my thoughts from her.

 

I had a bit of a meltdown before I went to a party, where I just felt like I needed to get my frustration with what's going on out. It was weird, because I punched/kicked some of my softer furnature, and I'm generally a peaceful guy. After going to this party however, I realized that I'm a prize catch, with people complimenting my abs, girls showing me attention, etc. I even have one of my former dates (not officially gf) crushing on me, but I'm trying not to lead her on. Still, the attention feels nice and I was glad I could get my mind off of her. I realized that the only reason that the relationship won't work is because of her and her commitment issues. I'm open to future reconciliation for sure, but I do know that she has to be willing to make things work if they are to work. If she can't fix that, then hey I do know that I'm better than most guys out there for her, and that she's taking that for granted. If she calls/texts me, even if she wants to reconcile, I'm going to say that I want to be single for the summer and have space to think things through, but I would like to talk about reconciling when school starts, that way I have the power. I know I sound egotistic right now, but hey it's better than feeling miserable and depressed. I don't imagine that she'll text me for reconciliation (especially anytime soon because we're both busy for the summer) or if she'll initiate contact with me when school starts, but I do know that I'm probably the best guy out there for her at least in our area. By that time, I'll be even more attractive, my friendliness will increase further, and my heartbreak will be less.

 

That said, I do still miss her and do love her deeply. Now, I'm starting to realize though, that this time is good for myself as well as us. I saw that tonight when I surround myself with fun friends -- I'm becoming a very attractive version of me again. The occasional thought pops up in my head that makes me sad, but nothing like the way I felt earlier today.

 

I don't imagine this feeling of security and goodness will last forever, but I'm going to take things day-by-day and see how things go. Let's hope I can get good sleep tonight and not have any dreams about her that leave me miserable in the mornings.

[rockmyboat]

day 4

yeah! feeling good! nothing can ruin this awesome day!

[rockmyboat]

day 1

crap, you chatted with me. hmm...i know i shouldn't care so i won't! o yeah! feeling good!

[NjoyStick]

Day 21, today is my birthday... She sent me a message saying: hey, happy birthday ,i hope you have a great day i replied with: Tnx.

And that was it for today, felt like crap cause she wished me a happy birthday even though it's sweet...

[brickheart]

Day 1, redux.

 

... crap crap crap. CRAP. We both rejoined the dating website where we met. He sent me this broken-up message about how he'd come accross my profile. We started talking. I reached out because a few weeks ago we tentatively decided we could be friends in the future. He sent me an angry message about how we can't be friends right now. He sent me another message after that asking if we could ever be friends. I went over because I despise the written format for serious conversations. We ended up cuddling all night.

 

I loved it. It was awesome. But he still doesn't want to get back together. I said I understood, his tolerance for our arguments and my personal crap was too low, etc. I feel like I was too mature about the whole thing. Sometimes I really hate him for breaking up with me. But then other times I do understand why he did it. I'm so conflicted... I hope he understands that.

 

At least I didn't sleep with him. (I mean I slept with him, but I didn't sleep with him.) I love him so much. So much for the healing process...

[anonamau5]

Started on July 3rd after roughly a month of LC. So this is day 6.

 

I ran today. That was my head clearing outlet. I have no idea how I feel atm....just kind of off. I have gotten better, by just forcing myself to stop thinking about her. I will make it and so will all of you. I originally couldn't bear the thought of NC so I held on to scraps of LC and was treated coldly until I couldn't do it anymore. That didn't last. But this time I feel, well, different. Stronger. I have a goal, a goal of making me feel great. If NC is what it takes...then so be it. I will try to keep up with a regular post.

Been lurking here for a long while. This forum and all the things I've read by Superdave and Zorba have helped me in a huge way.

 

Good luck everyone. Stay strong.

[Blondie176]

Day 10 - Take 3

 

Nothing new to report in really, he has well and truly moved on and i want to do the same. NC all the way!

 

xxx

[SSJlee28]

WOWWWWWWWW

 

It's over. She's already found another guy. That is, the guy that she met during our break up and down period. The guy she refused to stop talking to when I was chasing her for 2 weeks. Even her best friend and best's boyfriend don't know what she is doing. They even argued afterwards about it. The best friend is telling me that they are only friends, but how is that when there are near kissy pictures, and pictures of them looking like a couple?

 

No more. I will not take this any more. This girl does not deserve my heart, my hurt feelings, or my attention. This girl has gone down the drain, and I will no longer want her. Rebound or not, I won't want this girl any time in the future. I feel so betrayed that I spent last month moping around for this girl, who I thought I wanted to marry. I hope she gets her karma.

[SSJlee28]

wowwwww again!

 

this is such a classic example of a rebound. I know I should not be saying this, but I hope karma bites her in the butt!!

[Pleasedonot5]

Day 3

 

Jeez. It feels like it's been a week. I can't help but think that it's all over for us. She's trying to force herself to fall out of love... I guess in a way so am I... But it shouldn't have to be like that. With her, I have the best days of my life. Sure, I'm happy and I have my mind off of things when I'm around other people, but when I'm alone usually this situation is all I an think about. My mornings still start off terribly and usually my nights end with a dream and thoughts of her.

 

I know she's getting a little antsy though that I haven't tried to contact her in these three days, because of something I saw on facebook. I'm getting a little antsy too, because the stress is causing me to get in fights with my family...I had a complete meltdown today. But it seems like she's trying too hard to make it look like she's having fun without me, and because of a post on our mutual friend's wall, I can see through that weakness. Now I know that it's best for me to get over her. It's the only shot I have to play this game successfully and to get the power back either way. Why does love always have to be like a battlefield?

 

I just still hope that the walk we went on a few days ago wasn't the end of our intimacy.

[Taylor10]

Back to day 1.

 

I dont even know why i am still trying. Its been weeks since he said anything to me and i still keep trying. This is so frustrating. I dont want to give up on someone that I love more than anything but it looks like i have no other choice. Everything reminds me of him. I dont even want to sleep in my own bed anymore. I think him ignoring everything i say is a way of getting back at me. well its definitely working. I need to accept that its over.

[brickheart]

Back to day 1.

 

I dont even know why i am still trying. Its been weeks since he said anything to me and i still keep trying. This is so frustrating. I dont want to give up on someone that I love more than anything but it looks like i have no other choice. Everything reminds me of him. I dont even want to sleep in my own bed anymore. I think him ignoring everything i say is a way of getting back at me. well its definitely working. I need to accept that its over.

 

Just a suggestion from some articles I was reading... rearrange your bedroom furniture, if you can. I know beds are expensive so you can't just throw yours out, but try putting your stuff in a whole new place so you don't just think of him automatically when you go into your bedroom.

 

Good luck. We can do it.

[Reminiscence]

Balls I cracked yesterday. I texted him in the evening saying I wasn't talking to him because I needed space. We chatted for a little bit and caught up. He hasn't texted me at all today and I no longer have the temptation to talk to him. It's weird I feel a little better after telling him. I still wish that we could have worked things out but it's not like before where I was pining and frustrated.

I had lunch today with a close friend that I hadn't seen in a while and filled her in on what everything happened. She advised that I should meet up with him and talk since he was sending mixed signals. I agree with her since I feel confused after everything that's happened but I also wonder what I did that made him suddenly change his mind. My friend told me that sometimes I come off as cold and distant...I wonder if that had anything to do with what happened... Only way to find out is to talk to him but when? And how?

I think I'm almost back to how I was before I was seeing this guy but then again I can't go 100% back. I'm pretty sure I'll always wonder what things would be like if we talked or tried to work out our "differences." C'est la vie. I want to give it another chance but I also want him to want to try again too. If he does, hopefully we'll both have changed to give it a real try not just a "we'll see." Though I won't let him off easy. I'll find some way to do that.

[g3m1nn1]

Day 10

 

Its been about a month and a half since the break up, it was LC for the first month or so, then i went NC for my sake, because i saw that i can't be the puller because its not doing anything good.

Even though she sent me a text a few days ago to give her a contact for my tattoo guy, which i did, I still go with NC. And let me tell what a journey it has been so far.

 

When i started I deleted myself from FB, for two reasons ( i spent too much time there and also what good is going to come out of it if i check her profile every freakin day. none )

so i said to myself, she knows how i feel i cant pull her into reconciliation if she doesnt want to, so i am gonna give her space. all the space she needs.

 

And its killing me. i wake up - its her on my mind, i go to sleep - its her on my mind. And all that mind playing tricks. i am trying hard to tell myself something that Superdave posted: Go with what you know, not what you assume.

 

Ok, so i know she is on vacations and thats that. Let her have her free time. But it7s hard to put all the questions aside: is she thinking about me, what is she thinking, how is she doing and all that stuff.

I know its silly but i get my mind wrapped around the idea that if i dont at least check whats up with her, she is going to think that i dont care anymore. I know, silly thoughts.

 

So I said to myself, go NC for a month ( until the beginning of August ) and then you will see what comes out of it, either i will come to peace with the situation and be more relaxed and back to my old self, either she contacts me for i dont know why ( cant say i dont wish to reconcile, but i have to let go, because if i dont i will be to square one again, so baby steps ), or i will be so much better that i will have no problem with starting to communicate with her again slowly and see what comes out of it.

 

We'll see.

[NjoyStick]

Day 22, nothing special, still thinking about her, how she dumped me and went to someone else a week later... Still hurts alot but nothing i can do about it....

[skheehee]

End of Day 7

 

Today was horrible. I have to go to my old workplace (a police station) for 2 weeks to clear some outstanding stuff and the memories came flooding back. The ex's workplace is just accross the street(hospital). I remember that she used to wait at the entrance of my workplace everytime I was about to knock off from work. Oh god... She was so sweet.. so loving... so caring.. I broke down in silence. Things have changed too much, too fast, for my fragile heart to bear. I was so tempted to run over to her workplace and hug her... But I can't. She's gone. Probably for good.

[skheehee]

It feels like day 1 all over again. It hurts so bad.

[ConfusingEx]

its time i took this challenge, i see everyone getting the courage to do this, i am weak when it comes to her I've been with her for 8 years and my first instinct is to jump to her aid when she is in pain and in need of my help no matter what it is..

 

I'm tired of the heartbreak, the mixed signals i get from my ex while she is with someone else and we hangout, and the constant, "i want to be friends, but i can't tell him otherwise it will cause arguments" its not fair to me to be sitting here and worry one day that I'm not going to have a friend just cause she is trying to keep him happy and not for her own choices she did it.

 

so day 1 starts now. 12:31am 11/7/2012

 

I've ask how she is, and I've said my goodnight's its time for NC to see how much i really mean to her and if she will find not talking to me better or worse then her current, and if she misses me or she really wants to be with this guy..

 

I'm not a toy, I'm not just there when SHE needs me, i have a heart and its clearly smashed into pieces every time i see her and hear her talk about him.. letting me stay there and sleep in her bed. its OVER. TIRED of it. NO more mixed signals or getting my help. i love her i want to be with her but contacting her is just beating my head against a brick wall and letting her know she can depend on me when SHE wants to talk to me.

 

i get the same feeling as a lot of people do if i don't talk to her she'll forget about me, or she will think i don't care. she knows i'll jump to her aid if she is in real need of help not just she wants me to do something for her. at least i hope she looks to me for emergency if she has no other choice..

 

i know i can do it and its going to be hard. i keep telling myself I CAN DO IT!!

[skheehee]

Yes, you can. It hurts to know that in a way, we're just being used by our exes when they say, "Let's just be friends" or give you all these mixed signals. Its just selfish of them to not consider how we feel. They want the best of both worlds, and they want to lessen the guilt that they feel from dumping you for another person. Don't further stroke their ego with your lingering presence. Only time will tell if they truly did love you. Time heals, and time brings about change. Remember, even though all of us, in some way or another, want to be back with our exes, the journey is not without pain and suffering. It will be a long, tumultuous marathon, not a sprint. Patience is virtue.

[Blondie176]

Day 10 - Take 3

 

Nothing new to report in really, he has well and truly moved on and i want to do the same. NC all the way!

 

xxx

 

Day 11 - Take 3

 

I am nearing the dreaded days 12-13 where i broke NC twice before and i am feeling the need to speak to him again. FFS! The past few days i have felt ok ( ish) and now i feel anxious and crap all over again. I hate this, i just want to be done with this whole stupid heart break crap.

 

I am wondering what i am missing? Is it him? Or us? Or just the company i was so used to? I still have a hard time believing he has tossed me aside like this like i am nothing. I would never ever of had him down as cold hearted, how wrong i was!

 

Meh..i guess i am having one of those days, which i knew would come back. Tomorrow is another day and hopefully i feel a bit brighter.

 

I hope you guys are all doing ok there xxx

[Blondie176]

Aw bless you. Its time for YOU now. This woman is taking the piss out of you, she knows you adore her so she uses that to her advantage regardless of how much pain it causes you.

 

Also what is she doing having you in her bed when she is with someone else??? She doesnt sound very nice, IMO.

 

Everyone has a line and maybe she has crossed yours? Something has made you read and post in a NC thread, so hopefully you are ready to stop being a doormat?

 

Take it one day-hour-minute, if you have to- at a time, come here and post when you feel that urge to contact her.

 

You deserve more than what you are getting! xxx

[Blondie176]

It feels like day 1 all over again. It hurts so bad.

Sending a big cyber hug your way skheehee xxx