THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[g3m1nn1]

Karianne, perhaps look at it that you gave it your best and don't have anything to be ashamed. Eventough i am not familiar with your situation, we somehow all understand what you are going through.

 

SSJ, thats why try not to think about it that much. Hyperspeed is never good. I know its not much of comfort, but try to see it that way.

 

I, for example can't imagine her with another guy, but i am sure that day will come, but who knows where i will be then.

[ConfusingEx]

we all do understand thats why we are here

 

im starting to see things differently, my ex is prolly looking at how ive acted trying to get her back and how crazy we all are doing it, but infact, we look at our ex's and do exactly that, the difference is we are dealing with the breakup, they are just trying to fill it with something really fast. so who is really crazy? us or them? i know for breaking up we are all doing what everyone would when the split up heartbreak, anger and all that goes with it.

 

but what are they doing? going through denial and trying to fill whatever it is they are missing with something else to keep their mind of it? we will be better in the end because we took the time to heal, they think they are healed and moved on, when one day its going to hit them really hard when the rebound relationship fails and they didnt expect it, they will probably come back to us at that time and want to try again or maybe, in my case an apology.

[g3m1nn1]

Nicely put, C.E.

I agree that the best thing for us is to grow and be a better person and what they do we can not control, nor should we.

Each person has to realize it on it's own and how and when they get there is another question.

 

I think that Ex's do think about it ( or am i looking for an excuse ), probably not as much as we do, but they have buried it deep down, so they don't have to think about it now. Does that make sense?

[Blondie176]

Day 13 - Take 3

 

Ok so i made it through the dreaded day 12, now to kick day 13's ass!

 

What is it about day 12-13 for me? I am having anxiety attacks because i am freaking out that if i dont make contact he will think i dont care anymore ***! He is the one who lied, he is the one who was seeing someone for 2 months while still stringing me along. He is the one who broke my fcking heart and tossed me aside like a piece of ****.... yet i am worried that he might think i dont care anymore...seriously come on now.

 

Urrh.. roll on day 14!!!!

 

xxx

 

Well Hello Day 14

 

So this is what day 14 feels like. I have broken my previous records of days 12-13 and finally got to day 14 YAY! I wish i felt a bit more upbeat though.

 

I seem to be pretty much ok when i am busy, or in good company. I can forget him ( almost) when i am distracted, but even then he creeps in to my mind. Nothing like when i am alone though. alone with my thoughts and i am thinking about him too much. I am thinking about them together, doing the things we did and i am jealous as hell of that. Jealous of that honeymoon stage (( they have been together 3 and a bit months now) jealous of him being happy while i am miserable without him.

 

 

I had a sad moment last night when i was falling asleep, i was remembering our first times together and i felt so sad, but i couldnt cry. There were no tears, maybe i ran dry LOL

 

Anyway... same old..same old really.. *sigh*

 

 

xxx

[Karianne]

Thanks g3m1nn1! I'm trying not to beat myself up and to just look forward, but I can't help but feel so much regret for my part in the relationship failing. It doesn't help that he has so many qualities and traits that I think are amazing. I can never see him as a horrible person. Yesterday he sent me a message (the first once since we broke up on July 4th) that said, "You are a unique person. You'll always have a special place in my heart". The fact that we can't be together really hurts me inside

 

Nicely put, C.E.

I agree that the best thing for us is to grow and be a better person and what they do we can not control, nor should we.

Each person has to realize it on it's own and how and when they get there is another question.

 

I'm trying to focus on this now. I try to think about how it's all about me now, but it goes back and forth

[g3m1nn1]

Blondie, congrats on reaching day 14

 

It is hard, thoughts come even when we do not want them.

But it is best to push them aside, easier said than done i know.

 

My oh my, honeymoon phase. I have to admin i would repeat that i a heart beat. Multiple times.

Unfortunately, that is not going to happen. But i know that even tinking about it, hurts.

 

I see, that talk is cheap. I can say here all the right and enouraging things, but if i don't do them myself, then whats the fu***** point.

 

Hang in there.

 

KariAnn, it oes go in circles or in waves, anyway they come and go.

I know what you mean, by looking at their positive qualities, i mean i personally dont want to put my ex on a pedestal, because we all have mistakes and i know she has them too, but in my opinion positive ones outnumber the bad ones. And i can not look badly at her, perhaps thats my problem...

[Blondie176]

Blondie, congrats on reaching day 14

 

It is hard, thoughts come even when we do not want them.

But it is best to push them aside, easier said than done i know.

 

My oh my, honeymoon phase. I have to admin i would repeat that i a heart beat. Multiple times.

Unfortunately, that is not going to happen. But i know that even tinking about it, hurts.

 

I see, that talk is cheap. I can say here all the right and enouraging things, but if i don't do them myself, then whats the fu***** point.

 

Hang in there.

Thanks xxx

 

I am the same, i feel like a phony giving out any advice because i am finding it hard to swallow what i give out. I think the only thing we have on our side is time. Plain and simple..time moves on, it moves us on.. its just moving very slowly at the moment. LOL

 

Im pretty sure all the counting is making time seem slow too. But i am determined to do this bloody 30 day challenge so the counting will remain for me until then! xxx

[g3m1nn1]

I think so too, but somehow it keeps me going, even though i already feel like its been a month. i does go in slow motion like i said in one of the previous posts and if I am going to feel like this by the end of day 30, then i gotta change something, 'cause its not gonna cut it.

 

Nice, now you got me hooked on honeymoon phase. Gotta make it go awaaaaay.

[Blondie176]

I think so too, but somehow it keeps me going, even though i already feel like its been a month. i does go in slow motion like i said in one of the previous posts and if I am going to feel like this by the end of day 30, then i gotta change something, 'cause its not gonna cut it.

 

Nice, now you got me hooked on honeymoon phase. Gotta make it go awaaaaay.

 

LOL aye but the honeymoon stage doesnt last forever, when they come out of that we will be long gone... maybe even in our own honeymoon stage with someone new.

[g3m1nn1]

Let's hope so.

But what i cant get out of my head over and over is how things take a turn and we are from honeymoon phase to this freakin' reality. I know i make no sense. Too much booze, maybe.

 

I am tired of all this emotions.

[Blondie176]

Let's hope so.

But what i cant get out of my head over and over is how things take a turn and we are from honeymoon phase to this freakin' reality. I know i make no sense. Too much booze, maybe.

 

I am tired of all this emotions.

You make perfect sense.

 

I guess for them they had already left us before we knew about it. Mine certainly did, he had plonked me in the friend zone for 2 months while he was getting to know her, i was his safety net and i didnt even know it. Nice eh?

[g3m1nn1]

Yes, i am sure that nothing comes out of the blue, we just do not see the symptoms i guess.

But it sure is a surprise, when you think all is well and dandy...

Can i get a reset button please or a freakin jump back a few months. Guess not.

[Blondie176]

Yes, i am sure that nothing comes out of the blue, we just do not see the symptoms i guess.

But it sure is a surprise, when you think all is well and dandy...

Can i get a reset button please or a freakin jump back a few months. Guess not.

Would you go back though? If you had the choice of going back or going forward to a time when you no longer hurt, which would you pick?

[g3m1nn1]

That is a tricky question. I guess i would go back and do a few things differently and then we would see if the history repeats. Then iwould know it was all i could have done. You?

[Blondie176]

I really dont know....

 

I am totally 50-50 on this one. The pain i have felt from this has been just awful and i dont ever want to repeat this, so going back would mean risking going through this again. I am not sure my heart could take it. But then again, i am crazy about him, would i be a fool not to try again if i had that chance?

 

I guess the day when i say confidently that i would pick going forward, is the day i truly start to heal.

[g3m1nn1]

True, it is a two sided sword, i personally thought that this is not going to happen, well not so soon, bad timing or what lame excuse there is, oh what a fool.

I am gonna call it a night.

This stuff really do get the best of me...

[Blondie176]

G'night...tomorrow is another day

[g3m1nn1]

Same to you, let tomorrow be better than today for all of us

[NjoyStick]

Hey everybody, hope you all are doing well, i've been to a festival with friends and family (had alot of beer) and i noticed i don't need my ex when i'm having fun, she would not even go with me to these kind of things.

She would think of an excuse but what the hell, i'm single now and even though she is still in my head she get's less important by the hour and that's a really good thing ^^

Tomorrow day 2 of the festival and i'm gonna enjoy myself again =D

[skheehee]

[video=youtube;bNOUNFNYAmA]

 

I have been playing this when i am in the car almost every day..sometimes i am even believing the words.

 

Wow! Really nice song! And I can totally identify with the lyrics too! It's Day 10 for me, and I'm going strong. There is this conviction in me that says that there's no other way but forward, and the only person who will be in EVERY part of your future, is ME. So to hell with the moping around, and put your foot down on the accelerator people! Hope lies ahead, for all of us.

 

Take it this way. Just keep a teeny-weeny part of your heart for you ex, for possibilities are aplenty in the future. The rest of YOU should strive to be the person you've always wanted to be. Be the best you can be!

[Karianne]

Ugh forget what I said. I shouldn't have put him on a huge pedestal. I deactivated FB, so I didn't know that there were photos of him with another girl, until mutual friends of ours who I haven't told about the breakup asked me about it. I feel like I'm back at square one.

[g3m1nn1]

You got that right, skheehee.

So let's go Day 14.

 

Good morning everyone.

[Karianne]

Day 10. Moving forward for myself, and no one else. At the end of the day, I am all I have so I will be the best person I can be.

We can do this! Stay strong!

[NjoyStick]

Day 25, woke up without a hangover (yay) didn't dream about her and almost going back to the festival for day 2 =D

[Hi Its Me]

Day 2 and this is so hard. I keep looking at my phone to see if it is flashing red (which is the color assigned only to her number) to see if an email or msg has come. We've been in discussion for almost 2 months now since the BU but now that she confirmed she is going on holiday for her birthday (6 weeks from now) with the rebound, I had to cut it off. She told me she loved me, that she is confused, almays imagined spending the rest of her life with me but mistakes I made over a year ago has her scared (hence the BU in May). She explained that she never had the chance to evaluate what she wants since we remained in contact. We spent the last day together on Thursday, had a wonderful time and parted ways. My heart wants her to text and hear that she misses me and wants to be together. My mind knows time needs to go by before she might feel that way. Life seems meaningless now, she found solace in someone else's arms (even though he is in a different country) we would have celebrated 4 years together in August and getting married in September...