THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Reminiscence]

Day 9

I texted him. He asked me why I wasn't talking to him. I replied "Because I can't". His answer "Really? You ok?"

 

...

 

I don't know if I should smack you upside the head or if I should face-palm myself.

I didn't reply to his second question because I got the "Are you effin kidding me" meme face. I don't regret texting him. He is clearly oblivious to how I'm taking his request to be just friends. Part of me just wants to blurb everything. "I miss you" "Can we talk?" "Give me another chance" "What happened?" "You're an ***" "**** you"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" "If this was all the time you could afford me, I would have been perfectly fine" "You don't know me" "I still have feelings for you"

 

No. It would be stupid. Idiotic. Common sense and logic committing suicide. But wasn't there that saying? "Leave nothing unsaid"

 

Oh life...what twisted paths you lay before us

[brickheart]

I'm taking up new skills e.g. Learning how to play the guitar, learning a new language(Italian). It helps take your mind off things.

 

Nice! I would love to learn Italian. And learn to play the guitar, actually. Where are you picking these skills up?

[skheehee]

Nice! I would love to learn Italian. And learn to play the guitar, actually. Where are you picking these skills up?

 

I am going to the library, picking up and reading Italian dictionaries, listening to audio books, watching online videos too. As for learning how to play the guitar, well, all you need is a guitar, and a friend who knows how to play the guitar. It will take time to learn how to play the guitar. I hear it takes at least 6 months to learn all the chords!

 

The main thing is to keep your mind off your ex, and be the best you can be. I'm "increasing my value" as a person, so to speak.

 

They'll regret leaving you, in the future.

[brickheart]

Ha! Best not to think of it that way, but yes, I think I'm improving myself for sure. I weigh in once a week, and so far I've lost about five pounds already from exercise and healthy eating! Take that... I'm also thinking of taking some language lessons and maybe some marketing courses. Too bad the nearest community college is like right near my ex's house. Maybe online...?

[gotanewbeat]

i only started this today and he's already sent me a text with a smiley face.

 

 

didn't respond, won't respond, i want to... but i won't. still sort of stressed about work.

[skheehee]

Ha! Best not to think of it that way, but yes, I think I'm improving myself for sure. I weigh in once a week, and so far I've lost about five pounds already from exercise and healthy eating! Take that... I'm also thinking of taking some language lessons and maybe some marketing courses. Too bad the nearest community college is like right near my ex's house. Maybe online...?

 

Do anything! You're your own person now, and you have the license to do whatever you want. online resources are aplenty, so I suggest you head there first.

 

Slowly, we'll get there. Have faith, and hope.

[skheehee]

God. The ex just sent me a text. She asked me to stop entertaining her mother's questions because she is a "nosey f***".

 

I'm not replying her. Just some background: her mum has been asking me to fight for her, because she doesn't like the new guy.

 

Is not the replying her the right thing to do?

[Blondie176]

Day 3 and i am doing ok, i am still thinking about him an awful lot but it doesnt sting as much as it did before. I think i just might be starting to accept that he is gone. But i have felt like this before and it usually isnt long before i feel sad and alone once more. Its such a bumpy ride this heartbreak stuff isnt it?

 

I have played all my cards and have nothing left to try, he knows how i feel, he knows where i am, if he wanted me, well he would come find me. Its really as simple as that. Ive cried and made a complete **** of myself in the past month. Hanging around for any breadcrumbs he might throw me.... not any more.

 

Day 4 - take 3

 

Is it me or has time slowed down?

 

I feel like this past month has lasted for years and years.

 

I feel the same as i did yesterday really, i had a moment earlier where i cried but it wasnt as deep a cry as it has been previously.

 

I am flitting between hating him for how ****ing cold he has been to desperately missing him. I seriously wish i could just remove him from my mind, i feel quite confident about nc but its the obsessive thinking about him, all those ''what ifs?'' that are doing me in.

 

I want to let him go. I want me back! But for some reason my mind and heart have different ideas.

 

Bleh....

Hope you guys are doing ok there

 

xxx

[Blondie176]

God. The ex just sent me a text. She asked me to stop entertaining her mother's questions because she is a "nosey f***".

 

I'm not replying her. Just some background: her mum has been asking me to fight for her, because she doesn't like the new guy.

 

Is not the replying her the right thing to do?

Id leave it and not reply but i would also stop communicating with her mum, its her choice who she dates.

 

xxx

[skheehee]

Id leave it and not reply but i would also stop communicating with her mum, its her choice who she dates.

 

xxx

 

The last time I talked to her mum was the last time I talked to her. 4 days ago. Hm... Her mum likes to pry into her life. Well, her whole family is concerned for her. They don't like this guy. Neither do I, but what can we do? It's her choice. Her life. If she wants to throw away a good future with me for some "emotional predator" who doesnt whom she met at a club, it's still her choice. I'm just trying to move on with my own life now, but peeking over my shoulder at times to "check up" on her. I still love her. But doing NOTHING, I guess, is the best thing I can do now.

[skheehee]

It's day 5 now. Feeling a little better. There's hope for the future.

[Blondie176]

The last time I talked to her mum was the last time I talked to her. 4 days ago. Hm... Her mum likes to pry into her life. Well, her whole family is concerned for her. They don't like this guy. Neither do I, but what can we do? It's her choice. Her life. If she wants to throw away a good future with me for some "emotional predator" who doesnt whom she met at a club, it's still her choice. I'm just trying to move on with my own life now, but peeking over my shoulder at times to "check up" on her. I still love her. But doing NOTHING, I guess, is the best thing I can do now.

Its understandable that her family are concerned if he is a tw@t but she has to learn that for herself. You love her so of course you are still looking back and out for her, that shows you are a kind soul. But, now is the time for you ( and me, and us all in this thread) to think about ourselves. xxx

[Blondie176]

It's day 5 now. Feeling a little better. There's hope for the future.

I am a day behind you.. i shall push you onwards and you can pull me along with you. xxx

[brickheart]

Day 6.

 

Had (I guess having, technically, since it's only mid-afternoon) a bad day... all I wanted to do was call him. Fortunately I talked myself down and we're still in NC. Phew!

[Taylor10]

Day 1....again....

 

Well i dont know. this whole thing sucks and i just want it to be over. I wish i could fast forward two weeks. All i want to know is if he even thinks about me or cares even just a little bit. It would definitely make me feel a lot better. Im so angry at everything right now but i have no way to release it because he refuses to speak to me. Two years together and he doesnt have enough respect to even talk....

[skheehee]

Argh! I replied her! I just said, "I'm not". I broke NC, AGAIN. gosh... I feel so crappy right now. Back to day 1.

[gotanewbeat]

day 2

 

work was weird - but it always is. he approached me, which he always does, and i tried my best not to engage much but it's really difficult... and i caved. when we do end up in conversation it almost always turns into heavy flirting on both sides, and to be honest, it's probably the only thing about my job that makes me smile. it's so hard to picture not talking with him everyday because i've grown so accustomed to it at this point... but if i'm constantly available to fill the void, he'll never really know what the void feels like. i just don't know how to subtly change my routine without it being obvious.

[brickheart]

Day 7.

 

This is getting sort-of, not-really easier. Not really at all, actually. But I'm just taking it day by day. He's out of the city right now for the holiday, so at least I know for sure that I won't "accidentally" meet him while running errands.

[Blondie176]

Argh! I replied her! I just said, "I'm not". I broke NC, AGAIN. gosh... I feel so crappy right now. Back to day 1. mind skheehee, back on the horse you get.

 

This is my third attempt and from what i have read most people do need a few attempts before they crack it.

 

Day 5 - take 3

 

I find when i am busy i am pretty much ok, the odd thought pops in my mind but i seem to be able to push them off and carry on, its when i am alone that it hits me. Evenings when we would normally be together are hard. I miss how we would chat about all those silly little things. I miss that i dont know how he is, what he is up to or that he is ok. ( Pretty darn sure he is ok though, with his new woman enjoying all that comes with a new relationship) Makes me feel a tad pissed off to think i am wondering about him while he has forgotten me.

 

Its been a month now since he told me he was seeing someone else, i feel much more stable now than i did those first few nights but it still stings. I think what i am finding most sad is that its looking very likely that i will never speak to or see him again. Like when someone dies. Only he isnt dead, he is very much alive and living the dream while i live the nightmare.

 

This sucks.

 

xxx

[brickheart]

Oh man... Blondie, why did he tell you?

[Blondie176]

Day 7.

 

This is getting sort-of, not-really easier. Not really at all, actually. But I'm just taking it day by day. He's out of the city right now for the holiday, so at least I know for sure that I won't "accidentally" meet him while running errands.

I think healing happens very slowly, so slowly that sometimes we dont even notice it. One day we will notice though, maybe just a few hours where we didnt think of them, then maybe a few days until one day we may still think of them, but without pain.

 

xxx

[Blondie176]

Oh man... Blondie, why did he tell you?

 

He told me because it was getting difficult not to.

 

We had broken up already but we had remained very close. For 2 months he had been seeing her before he told me. I had been friend-zoned and used as a safety net without even knowing it, while he got to know his now gf.

[skheehee]

I know how you feel, Blondie176. My ex did the same thing to me too. Told me about her new beau slightly more than a month ago, and now they're happily riding off into the sunset. Even 'forgot' my birthday. My heart's being torn out and shattered into pieces every single day for the past 2 months. The pain is still so intense. Sometimes, I just want to end it all, but I realize that I have to love myself more than I love her. Only then will I find peace.

 

You're doing well, keeping yourself occupied. Keep it up!

[Blondie176]

I know how you feel, Blondie176. My ex did the same thing to me too. Told me about her new beau slightly more than a month ago, and now they're happily riding off into the sunset. Even 'forgot' my birthday. My heart's being torn out and shattered into pieces every single day for the past 2 months. The pain is still so intense. Sometimes, I just want to end it all, but I realize that I have to love myself more than I love her. Only then will I find peace.

 

You're doing well, keeping yourself occupied. Keep it up! Its horrible isnt it? What pisses me off most is that he told so many lies during those 2 months, obviously covering his back when he was with her so i wouldnt find out. He says he didnt tell me cause he didnt want to hurt me.... i think that likely true but id also bet £100 that he didnt tell me because he was keeping me there in case it didnt work out with her. Also telling me he still loved me and that he'd made a terrible mistake, then he went away with her that very next day. What a bastard!

 

I think most people have a moment where they think about ending it all, they arent serious but its just such a huge emotional hill to climb back up that we ( even if only briefly) consider ending it all just for some peace from it. Hang in there, we can all do this together, one day at a time xxx

[skheehee]

My ex did the same thing! Strung me along, toyed with my heart for a full month. Then, out of nowhere she tells me she's found someone else. How can people do this to us??? People we thought we knew, people who we thought "loved" us. It still makes me sick to the gut just thinking of myself being treated like a 2nd rate toy.