mbb1

Bye baby. You werent ever coming back and I was right. I am not the same person anymore. It has been so unbelieveably painful for me while you have been living your dream life with your dream girl. I am sorry I was never good enough for you. It does and will continue to haunt me each day. You were amazing and you were right about everything you said. I think about you everyday, about your eyes that I will never look into again. I still wonder why things happened like this, why it went from bad to worse for us and that fate didnt lead us back together. I cant keep praying for us when you dont even want anything to do with me. Bye baby. I hope it was all worth it for you. I will always love and miss you for the rest of my life.

Missing you, missing all of you and who you are. Missing us, missing our life together so much. I lost too much. . it hasnt gotten easier for me at all. I love you baby. I still believe in us....

I guess I wil never see you again, hug you, look at your amazing face & eyes, or hear your voice tell me you love me. You cant even imagine how sad and sick that makes me. I still love you baby regardless. I too wonder why things are like this now & why this was our fate?

Missing you, missing you, missing you. Is it over for good? This is really how you want things?

I know you are over me, us. I have wanted to tell you goodbye , but I know you dont even want to hear that from me. You really checked out and were alot unhappier than I ever thought and it has broken my heart and broken me. You dont need to know how sad I am, or that I spent NYE at home alone. I know you were out of town somewhere, celebrating with her. It was obvious you were gloating in the message you sent me. I am not happy though, and you want me to be, but I cant do it and I am sorry that once again I cant give you what you want. I know you would be happy if I moved on and met someone else and just got over you like you have gotten over me, than you would have no guilty feelings for leaving me and replacing me. I cant do it, I cant be happy when I know that I lost too much when I lost you. I have prayed so many times, that if you dont ever want me back and have nothing left for me in your heart, than to please please dont contact me anymore. Is anything going to change, is any opportunity going to arise for us again? Am I ever going to finally get the message or call I have been waiting for ? I love you with all my heart and I know I can finally finally be the best gf and partner for you, I just wonder if you will ever feel the same about me. ? Its hard to go from once being the person you loved the most and I truly felt your love, to now being nothing to you. You have never wanted to see me, or call me. I cannot believe that. You are still my love. Still the one I want to be with. I am sorry for everything. I miss you baby, today, and everyday.

Happy New Years baby . I wish more than anything we were together to celebrate a new beginning tonight. Enjoy your night and maybe one day we will see eachother again and have that new beginning. It is my only wish for 2013.

10 months of hundreds and hundreds of messages and no action at all. Why? She really is perfect, I guess. I am sorry for being so honest about what I was doing and how I felt and now it has made you not want to talk to me anymore. Yes I have been waiting for you. I guess I foolishly thought that you were coming back and you are not. My gut tells me that you arent ever coming back and you never were going to anyway. it was a blessing being with you and life has never been the same without you...... Until we meet again one day. Love you forever baby

I know you are done now. I can feel it. It took one year but she is it, she has your heart now. I never thought the last time I saw you was literally going to be the last time ever. You have moved on completely, though you say you havent fully. You dont love me anymore like you love her, you just cant say it to me. I cant do it anymore, I cant fight this fight for us anymore. Have a wonderful life.

I still love you as much as I always did. I still believe in us and what could be. Why dont you? Why tell me so much this year, only for things to be like this now . I miss you every day, I miss you so much and I struggle each day with facing my reality of nothingness with you. I hate this. Why dont you? Baby, I love you. just come back.

I still dont understand any of this. Why I did what I did, why did you just disappear literally the day you met her. I dont understand. I really believed you would change your mind, 4 months ago, I was so grateful that you confirmed what I had been feeling and thinking- and then you completely changed. I dont understand. Why did you break us like this? You have rejected me, dismissed me, and given me reason after reason not to be together. Yet I still feel connected to you and there is this teeny voice in my head that still says to hang on. But where are you? I dont understand. We had it. and now only because you met her, all your ideas about me and us changed. I dont want to give up on us. I dont know what to do though. I know that I had to make some big changes, I know that for sure. But now what? Did we only meet so you could eventually meet her, and for me to .. what? Crumble? Where are you? and why does this ache in my heart for you and the thought of you still just tears me apart. And yet, you are ok and fine . I dont understand.

Day 20... that is so weird to me to even type. 20 days since I last heard from him, ughhh . Never ever thought it would happen, so I guess in a way that is why it happened. It has not gotten easier at all, and the total silence makes it so final. I may never hear from him again. having a really low day. I know it means he is happy and fine and with her. =(

I hate what happened with us, and it was all my fault and we both know it never had to happen like this. I loved you and I love you, I know you are fine and happy now, somehow it seems our relationship was a stepping stone just so you could meet her. I understand why you didnt give me a second chance but you are willing to lose me forever and not lose someone you met a few months ago. It hurts so much that our bond is broken, that you share with her all we shared. it still seems unreal this happened. I know I wasnt as good to you as I should have been, but that is the past. it is my promise to you I would love you like I should have if the chance came around. I would never let us down again.