Getting back together really does happen!

[YY2K]

Sbp, you can PM me if you want.

[Doosha]

I love these stories (on page 160 atm)! Would love to hear more details on how couple who got back together initiated that very first contact, and what did they talk about, and especially what was going on afterwards.. how did you make it work the second/third time?

I believe while it's "easy" to get back together, the hard work comes afterwards in actually making it work. thanks!

[Jammy Biscuit]

So I have a lovely story for you guys... I always promised that once I finished reading all these 231 pages myself I would join and post this story.

 

Before I start just want to say a massive thank you to all of you who have posted throughout the years. I know a lot of people say it’s false hope but reading these stories helped me heal. I’m just about 7 months post break-up with instant no contact following that. He was my first love, I started dating late in life. I’m 26 now so this took a massive knock to me as he was my first for everything. If it wasn’t for these stories from this threat. I don’t think I would have had such a positive outlook on everything. Will I get back with my ex? I still have no idea. He is the love of my life but right now I have no idea if there is a future for us. For now I can just focus on me and go from there. I need to focus on what else is out there. So that’s what I’ve come to learn, focussing on yourself and not being hung up is the key. I am not going to lie it’s been hard, the constant urge to message him is still there. Also he occupies my thoughts still but not as much as he used to in the beginning. You have to try and look at the bigger picture, so keep staying strong everyone. I’ve started dating now and keeping myself busy with work and friends. I can’t stress this enough focus on yourself guys. Right now I don’t sit hoping for it all to work out with him. Because life goes on and I’ve come to understand if it’s meant to be. It will be. If he reaches out I’ll welcome him. I’m at a stage right now in my life that I will not push for it on my side. Everything happens for a reason I believe.

 

Enough of me waffling on. Let’s get to the story...

 

A friend of mine dated a girl for 8 months back in university. She was about to start her final year and with the pressure of that she decided to split. I believe it was amicable. Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt him. She wanted to remain friends but he said he couldn’t so they went no contact for almost three and a half years... Now during this time they both had separate relationships. I’m not sure the ins and outs of hers. But I’ll go on a side note on his after.

 

His ex from uni reaches out to him after those three and a half years. We came to learn that she had just broken up with her boyfriend and was touching base with him. He messaged politely and left it at that. As he was still with his girlfriend at the time he didn’t push the conversation and it was left with the odd message and nothing more. They never met at this point and conversation fizzled.

 

Now back about my friend’s relationship he had between getting back with his ex. They were together for around two years, anyway she called it off with him. Really random but it wasn’t a healthy relationship as she was very possessive.

 

Following the break-up... My now single friend reaches out to his 1st ex who reached out to him. He never contacted her for it to go anywhere. Just now he didn’t feel guilty catching up with her as he is single. Anyway... things naturally blossomed between them. They have been together since last September officially. So about 7 months in now (literally got together during my breakup - so gave me hope). They spend weekends together doing cute weekend trips and even went on holiday in this time. They seem so happy. It’s beautiful. This shows if things are meant to be they will be. They are currently in the process of buying a place together and will move in together soon.

 

Back to the side note of his ex who dumped him. She reaches back out to him too. Messaging constantly, guess she realised it was a mistake leaving him. Then she found out he was back with his uni. She went ballistic... making fake social media accounts and making their life hell. To top it off though she went back with an ex of hers and despite that couldn’t let my friend go. Goes to show ex’s do regret things and do come back... some may return in a crazy way when it’s too late or in a beautiful way like his relationship now.

 

I am so happy for the two of them. Shows it can happen. But, with this story it only happened after they both moved on with life. Both had a long term relationships in between. Went no contact and found each other again after time apart living.

 

Thank you again for all of you who have posted throughout the years. Hope this story helps you guys like it did me. Stay strong everyone x

[YY2K]

Bumping it up!!!!

[Doosha]

Please bump! I need some stories!

[Doosha]

Ok, let me bump this myself!

I'm on page 212 reading through all of the wonderful stories and there comes my coworker and tells me that he is meeting on Sat with his ex to talk about potential reconciliation.

Back up story:

 

- Both were married and divorced

- Both have kids from previous marriages

- Dated for few years, had a pretty good relationship

- She wanted to take it to a next level (aka move in together)

- He didn't want anything like that as he told her at the beginning of the relationship ( he said he never wants to get married again)

- She left him and dealt with some life problems

- after few weeks he reached out to her to tell her he has done some thinking and he wants to work things out. She said she is not sure she wants it anymore.

- several months later... he just told me they are meeting this Sat to talk about getting back together! He loves her too much to let her go.

 

Bumped my day by 10000000% :)

[YY2K]

Hi Guys,

 

I was working out today and I was thinking about ex #5. Prior to working out, I was reading some book of how to get your ex back. One of the tip of course is to move on and get oneself better. Sooo... as I was working out, something clicked and I realized that ex #5 actually wanted me back and he was following this book to the "T" unless this is a conincidence. If you follow post #2300, I talked about all my exes eventually came back but was not sure about ex #5. So I went thru my emails and opened some of the emails he sent me years back for the first time (I did not open them because I was doing NC and it was too painful).

So here's the timeline:

 

8/7/12 - BU. LC.

9/26/12 - told him I would do NC.

1/16/13 - he started sending his pictures that he has lost 57 lbs. (yes he was a big guy).

3/3/13 - he asked me for the first date. I only opened the email in 2018. lol.

4/22/13 - he asked me for another date. Again I just get the memo in 2018.

6/22/13 - yet he asked for another date.

well there are 6 - 7 more of unopened emails, which probably asked for the same thing.

So there you go. Exes do come back.

And he broke up with me twice and I cheated on him once (am not really proud of it) due to LDR in our earlier dating period.

 

Now I am pining over ex #6. Even though the more I think about it, the more I feel that he is immature. He also cheated on me 3x with 2 diff guys. So that's karma. But for now, I will just work on myself. Be a better person. I do't think Im ready for any relationship until I become a better person.

[YY2K]

So in total he asked me out 15x. Ergh I feel horrible now.

[Doosha]

No one is getting back together lately?

[ZHPpilot1]

I believe if you fix what caused the break up then sure it's possible to reconcile however some people will never change. You can always give it another go around and see if things are truly different.

[Doosha]

Actually, my colleague just told me he is back with his ex after 5 months! :)

[valavoo]

No. Leave the ex behind unless the breakup was caused by unforeseen life events or a need to relocate without them .

.

 

This is literally wrong lol. People are of course getting back together! But not everyone wants to post it to a forum like this. This forum’s set of advice is pretty much “get over it, block them, and move on.” Even when people’s exes do come around again if they ask on this forum everyone assumes the ex is just looking for sex and to not trust them. Despite it being a GBT forum, most people will tell you to just not unless a very specific set of standards are met. It’s really stupid. Honestly searching for help on an Internet forum of people who don’t know you was not the best choice I made and deeply regret some of the decisions I made because of it.

 

Anyway here’s a GBT story because I happen to peruse this site every once in a while still.

 

My brother and his girlfriend had been together since quite young. They broke up for a while (he with her) because everyone was essentially telling him that people shouldn’t ever date one person forever, especially a man. So he broke it off and tried doing just that. Later he realized he basically just listened to toxic masculine culture and also listened to others’ opinions over his own feelings. They reconciled, were together for a bit, had a kid, got married, and had another kid. Super cute.

[thealchemist]

Well if we have a "get back together" post we should also have a "broken up for the Xth time" post

 

I would bet money on which would be filled with more stories, and it isn't the GBT one.

 

We advise against it because it is typically a bad idea. Not that ot always is, bit most often.

 

If it was an uncontrollable circumstance or if a LOT of time has passes and both are totally different people then it has a shot.

 

But if it is a routine "breaking up" relationship or their are just systemic compatibility issues then it is HIGHLY unlikely.

 

When we tell you to just "move on" we say that because it seems that you would have a much better shot at happiness with a clean slate and not falling back into the comfort of a former partner.

 

It also traps people from moving on when people continuously rehash failed relationships and limits their growth.

 

But it is your life, do what you want.

 

But it is silly to ask for people opinions then getting upset at them.

[valavoo]

Lol, ya I know there are success stories! I'm just being me! But seriously people can and do get back together probably more often than we realize. I've taken back an ex or two just to let them go again. To be successful, changes need to be made and it's super hard for many people to really do the work . Plus it's hard when trust is gone too. And if someone cheated, that makes it even harder . I don't condone anyone returning to an abusive or violent situation,ever.

 

I've found its a little weird going back with an ex after I've moved on, or they have. They, or I, developed feelings and attraction for someone else in the meantime, and it never felt the same after. The more time that passes, the harder it gets too. The level of attraction dies . It's easier as time passes to be apart, and it just becomes normal to not have them. Many times, and I'm guilty of it, it's hard to let go so you try to hold on.

 

But success stories are happy endings and offer encouragement to those who hurt, so I'm all for it.

 

Oh I'm totally with you SweetGirl! Sorry if I came off a little harsh XD. Changes have to be made most definitely or you're literally going to go back to the thing that made it fall apart in the first place...but I don't think being 100% different people is (always) the answer. I don't think people change 100%. They can change a lot, but people often don't do a complete 180. It's just not as black and white/cookie cutter as what people seem to think. The stories here and the constant stories in real life (and not posted here) say otherwise.

[valavoo]

Same!!! There’s one person I want very badly to be with but the rest of them...ugh. >_>

[Doosha]

As I recall this is a thread to post success stories, not to discuss and analyze. Please keep the thread on track.

Thank you.

[YY2K]

Not at our level but:

The Weeknd is seen to be reconciled with Bella Hadid again.

They broke up last year and the Weeknd soon after rebounded with Selena Gomez.

[valavoo]

Ahhhh sorry Doosha. You're right.

 

 

 

I do have a friend that got back together with his girlfriend multiple times. She'd always break up with him and come back within a week. However, I don't really think their relationship was healthy and she finally seems to have broken up with him for good. I don't think they actually tried to fix their issues at all ;o;. I firmly believe they would have stayed together if they'd tried to communicate/work through the issues.

[Momoya]

PFf, I wrote this big story before accidentaly deleting it.

 

We were together for 4 years, broke up for 6 months and are now back together for 6 months and happier than ever. In the 6 months apart there was 1 month of a bit of texting, 2 months of NC and 3 months of seeing each other once a week as friends. At the end of these 3 months I was to one to contact him to ask to see each other more again.

 

I think some of the reasons that we succesfully got back together are:

- The problems in the relationship were fixable

- During the break we (independently) reflected on the relationship and on our OWN mistakes instead of just the ones the other person made

- We (independently) worked on fixing the problems, not for the other person but for ourselves

- (partly thanks to this thread) I realized I would be okay with or without him, in the end what happens happens.

- We talked. A lot. About our fears and insecurities in the new relationship. How we could prevent things from happening, how we could compromise etc etc.

- We got to slowly get to know/like each other again as friends.

[Doosha]

PFf, I wrote this big story before accidentaly deleting it.

 

We were together for 4 years, broke up for 6 months and are now back together for 6 months and happier than ever. In the 6 months apart there was 1 month of a bit of texting, 2 months of NC and 3 months of seeing each other once a week as friends. At the end of these 3 months I was to one to contact him to ask to see each other more again.

 

I think some of the reasons that we succesfully got back together are:

- The problems in the relationship were fixable

- During the break we (independently) reflected on the relationship and on our OWN mistakes instead of just the ones the other person made

- We (independently) worked on fixing the problems, not for the other person but for ourselves

- (partly thanks to this thread) I realized I would be okay with or without him, in the end what happens happens.

- We talked. A lot. About our fears and insecurities in the new relationship. How we could prevent things from happening, how we could compromise etc etc.

- We got to slowly get to know/like each other again as friends.

 

This is such an important step in the healing process! When you get here you are already there! :)

I am so happy for you Momoya!

 

-- My friend has been trying to get over her ex for years now. And lately she was doing good (or so I thought), but then this morning he called her out of the blue. He realized she is the best person for him. I will keep you posted what happend! :)

[YY2K]

Momoya,

 

Congrats! I hope everything will turn out much better and stronger this time! (I am sure!)

If I don't mind asking, I have a question: who break up with who in this situation?

 

Thanks and again congrats!

[ZHPpilot1]

This is such an important step in the healing process! When you get here you are already there! :)

I am so happy for you Momoya!

 

-- My friend has been trying to get over her ex for years now. And lately she was doing good (or so I thought), but then this morning he called her out of the blue. He realized she is the best person for him. I will keep you posted what happend! :)

 

Please do, I'm always interested to hear a happy getting back together story.

[Rhombus]

Well as I'm nearing the end of any chance of a reconciliation, I thought why not post in here as I've read it through and has made me feel better.

 

One thing I have noticed though is a lot of these stories always happen to your friends... never with you though. Strange universe.

 

So I recently found out that one of my friends who just bought a house with her partner originally broke up for nearly 2 years.

 

They ended due to not wanting a long distance thing. She got with another guy 4 months later for about a year but she said it was horrible toward the end and their breakup was not so good.

 

Her ex moved back to the area when they bumped into each other and now they haven't looked back. Funnily he travels away a lot for work so they actually doing a semi-LDR now, which shes fine with.

 

Stay cool people

R

[ZHPpilot1]

Well as I'm nearing the end of any chance of a reconciliation, I thought why not post in here as I've read it through and has made me feel better.

 

One thing I have noticed though is a lot of these stories always happen to your friends... never with you though. Strange universe.

 

So I recently found out that one of my friends who just bought a house with her partner originally broke up for nearly 2 years.

 

They ended due to not wanting a long distance thing. She got with another guy 4 months later for about a year but she said it was horrible toward the end and their breakup was not so good.

 

Her ex moved back to the area when they bumped into each other and now they haven't looked back. Funnily he travels away a lot for work so they actually doing a semi-LDR now, which shes fine with.

 

Stay cool people

R

 

Life will surprise you like that sometimes. Always good to hear a couple getting back together, I believe it spreads hope to others even though the odds are against them. We could all use a little more hope from time to time.

[Doosha]

Just to bump this thread - John Cena and his (ex)fiance got back together after cancelling the wedding and all a month ago :)