Getting back together really does happen!

[tots429]

Here’s a story:

 

My aunt and uncle started dating right before my aunt turned 16. In fact, my aunt’s 16th birthday party was where my parents first met her husband (boyfriend at the time). They dated through HS and broke up the summer before they left for college - my aunt being the one to break it off because she thought that there was no way she’d end up with her HS sweetheart. So they went off to separate universities and each dated different people but never stopped talking. Eventually, my uncle transferred to my aunt’s school (not because she was there but because it ended up being a better fit) and they got back together around their junior year. My aunt, as she was telling me this story, told me that “there was just no denying it.” My uncle scoffs/laughs at it and calls their breakup a “break”.

 

I got their full story because I’m currently on month 3 of a breakup with my “HS sweetheart”. We left it a little more open-ended than they did but it’s still been extremely rough because we both were crazy about each other and had a very hard time going through with the breakup. Essentially, his parents were the catalyst to the issue, claiming the healthiest way to enter college is to do it single. (They met and fell in love in college.). He’s had more peace about it than I have. We ended it early to allow ourselves to heal - it’s been a very rough year for the both of us. We talked nonstop in the month following the breakup, went to prom together, and then I told him I needed space to allow my heart to catch up with my head. I very recently re-opened the lines of communication (been about 2 months of NC/LC), and we agreed that our friendship is the most important thing about us, regardless of what happens romantically. I don’t think either of us are over each other (I know I’m not) and it kinda feels like we’re kidding ourselves a bit. We will see. Starting college in the fall.

I want y’all to know that no matter what happens, you will get through this. I am not anywhere near the other side and I still have hope/faith that what’s meant to be will be because it’s true. And for those of you that are young and in love - remember that love has no age. Just because you met young does not make the relationship any less real or powerful. I am a strong believer in love, and I’ve kept that belief intact even after a devastating breakup (even though it was mutual). God bless you all. I will post again later down the road.

[sunshineray]

Bump! I love this thread!

[Neruda20]

I have an account. My first public school friend (Ben) and his on-again, off-again girlfriend throughout secondary school (Carol) had one of the most devastating breakups that I have ever heard of. There was begging, pleading, accusations, etc. at the end. By the time they were midway through college, they avoided each other at all costs. Two years ago, they married and recently welcomed their first child into the world. They are one of the happiest couples that I have ever seen. When I reached out to Carol not too long ago with my own story, she shared the following with me. Maybe it will help ease some of your anxiety or inspire some of you.

 

Her words:

 

"Let me tell you, if Ben and I can reconcile and make it work after all that happened, anyone can! I have hope for you! We were broke up for about 3.5 years before we got back together and got married. During the 3.5 year break, we only spoke a handful to times. We ended getting back together because of some intervention my sister. We were both too stubborn and my sister was the only one with any balls to make it happen. Don't give up hope!"

[leahisabelle]

Well... I’ve been with my child’s father on and off for the past 7 years. (Been together since we was 17) we been in a bad place for awhile. Always arguing, fighting, accusations cause we shut each other out completely. We was living together until he has decided he wants his own apartment cause he’s not comfortable no more and needs space. I love him so much and I honestly regret everything I’ve done on my part in our relationship. I know there’s another girl he talks to and I know they’ve said I love you to each other. It hurts cause of everything we’ve been through. Idk what else to do cause all I’ve been doing is crying, begging, and apologizing.

[writerwill]

I LOVE reading these. I don't want to hijack this with my own situation, but here goes. If you would like to delete, I won't be offended - but if you'd like to offer your thoughts, even better AND so appreciated :) It's a good story, I think - I'm gay, too, so please be kind!

 

 

My story:

 

I am 31 and gay. My ex (25, gay) and I were together for a year. We were deeply in love, though we fought sometimes and even broke up twice. It was both our first relationships with guys, and we were each other's first loves.

 

I lost my job when the publication I edited folded back in January. In February, I received a job offer out of state that I could not pass up. Though I was devastated about leaving my boyfriend behind (he had just started a new job so he wasn't going to up and move with me, nor did I want to make him), I was excited about the job. My ex helped move me out of state, even taking a road trip together. Before I moved away, we had lived together for a month after I had sublet my apartment, and everything was amazing.

 

Soon after I moved away, we decided doing long distance was too hard. And truth be told, I had hooked up with other guys when I was there. And we still talked nightly, until a month in he came to visit and we got into a big fight because things just felt "off." We were living in different cities and we weren't boyfriends anymore, but had been talking every day long distance.

 

Anyways, it turned out that I was miserable about the breakup, and after our big fight, we didn't talk. Meanwhile, the new job I had taken and moved cross country for turned out to be a disaster, and I hated it. So lo and behold, I got another job offer back in the city I had moved from just 3 months ago, and now I am back in the same city as my ex.

 

We had reconciled after out fight, and he called me drunk one night to say how much he missed me but was upset with me. When I told him I was moving back, he and I talked for a week or two, but as my move date back drew closer, I could feel him pulling away. By the time I had moved back to our city, he told me never to contact him but gave me no reason. He HAD told me he was 'hanging out' with another guy but he was just a rebound - my ex's words. (While I am tall and lanky, the rebound guy is apparently my opposite - short and muscular! LOL)

 

As the story goes, I ended up moving to the same neighborhood as my ex. Currently, we text sometimes, and I have bumped into him twice, though he has been cold, mean and guarded when I see him. I live a few blocks from him, and I told him on the phone the other day I'd like to take a yoga class together or meet up as friends sometime, and he seemed to be responsive. He even called me the nickname he used to call me when we dated at the end of the phone call.

 

THIS MORNING, I saw him. We work out at two gyms by each other and we ran into each other! We ended up walking back to our respective places, talking and joking. He was less guarded and hugged me immediately upon seeing me - and yes, we did linger a bit. I even showed him my apartment that I just moved into. I said I'd love to take a yoga class or grab coffee sometime, and he said in due time "if you're lucky" - an inside joke and something he always told me. I asked him about him blocking me on Instagram out of nowhere (he never posts and we had not been following each other even!) and he said he will unblock me at some point, but that he didn't "want to see me pop up." I truly believe he still has feelings for me, and that he's warming up to me! A month ago, he told me he never wanted to talk or see me again, and clearly he did not mean that.

 

For now, I am going to try not to worry about the supposed rebound guy he is hanging out with and give him some space and time. I truly believe that if we began a new relationship, things would be better. I have worked on myself and realized that I put way too much pressure on him when we dated, and I have been gaining independence, taking exercise classes, and I look and feel good.

 

 

Any friendly advice is so appreciated. Thanks, friends.

[agromuffin]

Hi all,

 

My ex broke up with me because he was moving back home and got cold feet because he didn't want me to uproot for him if he wasn't sure he was 100% going to marry me. We were together for 2.5 years and it was a really good relationship. But I guess he didn't date much before me even though we're in our late 20s so GIGS is real in this scenario. I can't tell you guys just how much this thread has helped me heal and recover so I'm here to contribute some stories.

 

1. A gay colleague of mine has been with his partner for 15 years. He told me after a few years together, he cheated on him (he was significantly younger than his partner, probably didn't feel like he dated enough) and they broke up for more than a year. They reconciled after that and have been together ever since.

 

2. My uncle got my aunt pregnant at 18 and decided to dump her. My aunt found another guy and kept showing up at places where my uncle would frequent with her new guy. My uncle couldn't stand the idea of another man being with her, immediately went back to her and married her. They're still married after 40 years.

 

3. This is a partial success story - my friend broke up with her bf because she fell in love with someone else. This was after 1.5 years. Her bf was devastated but my friend soon found out that the other guy was attached and went crawling back to her bf. They lasted another 3 years before breaking up for good.

 

Hey all, this was my sob story posted on 30 April 2017. Just an update on what has happened since then - I met a wonderful guy a month after I was dumped and we got engaged last month and are getting married next year. My ex has also moved on with someone else but still asks a lot about me. 🙄

 

Just wanna say I'm so thankful I found this thread because it really helped me tide through the worst period of my life. If you get some hope from this thread - That's good! But remember that while you are waiting and hoping, don't close your hearts to wonderful men and women who would give you the love and commitment you desire.

 

Much love to all of you and hang in there!

[writerwill]

Anyone? Happy 4th

[SmartiePants]

I dont have a reconciliation story with ex as I am currently going through break up myself unfortunately. But I have a reconciliation story with my friend. I count is as somewhat relevant as it shows time heals and make people change. I have a friend which we had been friends for 5 years with before she decided she did not want to be my friend anymore. We were getting along well but we had somewhat different opinions, different interests and picked at each other, argued often etc. I also thought she always put me down with anything I had to say, any idea etc. in a very negative way . One day she said she could not take it anymore and it was too stressful and we just went into total instant no contact. I blocked her off my fb so she would not see what I am up to and did not think anything negative about me and we forgot about each over for several months, maybe a year. Until one day out of blue I received a message from her she wanted to invite me for a dinner and catch up. To be honest I was not up to it right away. I said I did not know and maybe sometime in a future if I had time. I think I only messaged her back in a month or so and we went out. It was nice to catch up and we are friends again now. We put the past to rest and I think our friendship is much better and more positive right now.

And BTW, I did make some new friends but they are still not the same. She is still my best friend. I think once you have that special bond, be that your romantic partner or a friend, it never goes away. It is hard to create the same bond with someone else. Sure enough you can meet other people you get along with well but it is never the same. Takes that special person to bond with

I hope one day I might be able to post here a reconciliation story with my bf

[sbm1111]

I have been reading this post recently and wanted to add my stories.

 

1) My ex broke up with me after 6 months, went NC for one month all over xmas then just contacted me in the new year told me he missed me and we went on for another year.

 

2) another ex left me to go travelling. He went for a full year and when he came back we got back.

 

3) a guy i went to school with was with his gf for 3 years. He broke up with her late May one year, by the end of July he had met another girl and (wait for this) a month later he quit his job and moved across to live with the new girls and her family. Two months later he is home again and 6 weeks after that who is he back together with? His original ex and they are still together 4 years on

 

4) I know another couple when he traveled for two years both met new people yet they found their way back to each other a few months when he returned.

 

there are loads. keep posting :)

[sbm1111]

Does anyone know or heard of couples when one side leaves because they were not "in love" anymore and lost romantic feelings yet reconciled again after time apart?

[blmead]

I would also like to hear any stories of someone who has gotten back together when the other person said they "are no longer in love, but still love you".

[purpldreams]

Alright, these stories are too rare so I'm gonna take some time to add my own story to this thread. Especially after reading the two previous posts.

I know I needed to read stuff like this back then, and I am thankful for this thread, helped during the hard times.

 

Ex and I started a LDR in October of 2015, brutal breakup (for me) that spanned over a couple months early 2016, until the real end in April 2016.

Did all the mistakes during that time period. Begged, pleaded, traveled to see her, etc... Went no contact the day after our final Skype mid-April, just sent her a video telling her everything I had forgotten to say the day prior, that I loved her, and that was it.

She commented on that same video two weeks later, I knew it was a breadcrumb (thank you internet) so I ignored it. Exactly a week after that, I get the text we all dream of. I took things very calmly, we had proper written and video discussions about the situation and saw each other again for the first time mid-May.

 

Next breakup, she ends things around January 2017. I don't fall into the same trap ofc, but I still tried to convince her that we should see each other in person before she takes her decision. She doesn't want to, so that's it. NC again.

In May, I break NC to let her know that I'm coming to her city for a few days, at first she said she wanted to see me but when I contacted her about it again once I was there, I could tell something was off. Eventually, we did meet for 10 minutes. After that, I get an e-mail telling me she's seeing someone (she told me a while before that she had made a promise to herself not to date anyone due to wanting to focus on all her projects, that's been a recurring theme for both breakups, her projects are always in the way).

I completely relapsed. I went back home earlier than planned because I couldn't take it. Cried my eyes out several times, even weeks after all of that had happened. Completely convinced I had lost her for good. Maintained NC.

 

Mid-July 2017, I get a very casual e-mail from her, giving me random updates about her life and saying she hopes I'm well. Breadcrumb, ignore it.

My Birthday is on July 30th so I knew it was only a matter of time until the next one. And ofc it happened. Not wanting to be rude, I say thanks, and explain I didn't reply to her first e-mail because I really didn't see the point.

Then she starts explaining herself, I can quickly tell she's trying to convince me that we should talk/see each other in the future, and she knows I'm moving to her city in a few months (for my job).

So yeah, fast forward, we get back together summer 2017. I moved early 2018, I'm super busy with having to handle all the constant deliveries, the furniture, etc... And I see no real effort on her end to see me. I had made it very clear that she would need to speak with her actions because her words didn't mean much anymore and she totally understood (at the time). Too many declarations that didn't mean anything in the end.

Communication is slowly fading, she's busy on her end with her projects, leaving her current job, etc...

Asks to see me mid-June at my place, we talk about random stuff for a while then get on the topic of our relationship. After just a couple sentences I can tell where it's going, she's decided to dump me again. I don't panic, saw it coming a mile away, I calmly try to convince her that we didn't even properly try despite living so close to each other now. Nothing will work, she clearly made her decision a long time ago.

She's about to leave, we kiss passionately, and that's it. A few texts over the next few days so that she can tell I didn't want this and I was ready to do what it took for us to be happy, didn't work ofc but I wanted her to know.

 

Two weeks NC (she sent a breadcrumb three days after my last text but I ignored it).

 

And yeah, every time it was the falling out of love thing, she doesn't see a future, she's too focused on her plans for her new job, etc...

 

But apparently her feelings are just too strong and she has kept coming back. However I doubt it will happen this time, if she left me without the long distance issue, I think she really means it. Not to mention she has completely crushed the last bits of trust I had.

It's been really hard but the previous breakups obviously made it much easier this time around, no tears.

[SnugglePuggle]

Well I now sadly have bad news. I posted on this before about my reconciliation story- it's all fallen apart. My now ex-fiance, we had gotten back together and were doing so great, had gotten so much better and stronger together.

It's three weeks before our wedding- August 4- and now a secret we had came out- my ex was bisexual, and both families didn't know and both lashed out at us. He felt so much pain that he ended it again, thinking that

because of these circumstances, that we aren't meant to be together.

 

I'm just so broken and defeated.

[EnglishRose9]

Sorry to hear that SnugglePuggle, such a shame.

 

I’ve got a reconciliation story.

 

Back in 2003 I met my child’s father, we got together quickly and it was a whirlwind. It wasn’t a perfect relationship but it was generally good. Things got difficult in 2010 and I couldn’t stay in the relationship any more. He wasn’t putting me first and I felt I had lost my identity as I was looking after our baby alone most of the time. I ended the relationship, which I knew hurt him and I felt really guilty.

 

He tried to get me back for around 2 months and I was not interested as I couldn’t forget all the stress and isolation I felt. I began to date someone new after about 3 months and so did he. I didn’t realise at the time but his was a huge mistake and a typical rebound.

 

After about 6 months apart I had second thoughts about the break up and wanted to try again, it took a small amount of convincing but we got back together and lived separately for a while before moving back in together in 2011.

 

We had a good relationship to start with but as the issues were not addressed when we got back together the cracks began to show again and we mutually broke up at the end of 2013. We are now on very good terms and almost friends. He’s now married and very happy.

 

Unfortunately I’m just going through a break up now with someone I love very deeply but I’ll get through it and perhaps one day we can reconcile ourselves but time will tell.

 

Moral of the story, if you do reconcile all previous issues MUST be addressed otherwise old habits come back to haunt you.

[harley061313]

In the summer of 2017, I came to this forum for hope. I read this thread all the way through probably 10 times in search of anything that could help me believe that I would get my ex girlfriend back. I told myself that if that day ever came that I would come back and post to give others some hope and show that anything is possible. Now in July of 2018, 13 months later, I’m here to share my success story.

My ex and I began dating in the summer of 2014 when were 16 years old. We fell deeply in love. We shared so many great experiences together and built a strong relationship around our Christian faith. We had our whole lives planned out to a t and new exactly what we wanted. After graduating high school she moved in with me and my parents while we both attended university. That’s when things started to go downhill.

I became very complacent in the relationship. I never tried to make her happy anymore. I was downright mean and hateful a lot of the time. I would pick at her for weight (I know I was an ) and disregard any of her concerns with me and the relationship. She felt like not only that I didn’t love her, but that I hated her.

She grew tired of my behavior but stuck with me through our first year of college. When the summer of 2017 rolled around I began to get annoyed with her lack of affection toward me. I would fake breakup with her to scare her into doing what I wanted. I had no idea the damage I was actually doing. In June of 2017 I “broke up” with her and she took it. She got all of her stuff and left.

The pain I felt was indescribable. The person I treasured the most was gone and there wasn’t anything I could do. I literally wanted to die. I began seeing a therapist and taking Xanax to help with my anxiety. The pain never went away. My goal everyday was just to make it through. Once she left I did go no contact. I never once initiated any type of conversation with her. It was over.

It took at least 6 months for me to get to a somewhat better place but I still struggled everyday. In februrary of 2018 I received a text from a random number. It was her. We chatted for a while and then I asked her to meet up so we could talk. She said she would like to and would let me know when she could. I never heard back.

It took right back to the first day. The hurt was just the same. Fast forward to July 13 and I receive another text from her saying 3 words. “I’m so sorry”. I was on vacation at the time and it was the last thing I expected to hear. After a few messages, she said she wanted to try again and I agreed to meet up with her when I got back.

I went over to her place and we talked for hours. She poured everything out to me. She wasn’t happy at all and never stopped loving me. The breakup was just as hard for her as it was me. She went through depression and a lot of reckless behavior to try to numb the pain but it didn’t work. She had wanted me back for a long time but was too embarrassed and ashamed to contact me.

We discussed all of the problems we had and laid out all of our concerns. We both agreed that no one could make us happier than each other. We were meant to be together. We are so happy to have each other back now. We wish it didn’t take a year apart for us to get here but we’re so glad to have another opportunity. We are committed to each other and want to spend our lives together.

I just want everyone to know that no matter what happens, you will get better. I promise. I didn’t think the pain would ever go away, but it did. Time will mend all broken hearts. I was hopeless. I never thought I would get her back. You just have to give each other time and space. No contact is the best thing to do for both of you to heal and move on and possibly reunite. I know it’s hard but you have to let them go if you want them back. Never give up hope. If your relationship was built in true love then anything can happen.

I felt like we were always meant to be together. I never fully gave up hope that one day we would find each other again. Don’t let anyone out you down. Don’t wait around forever and out your life on hold, but don’t completely write off the possibility either. Once you truly move on, that’s usually when it happens. When you least expect it. I’m so thankful for all of the success stories that everyone has shared in this thread. It helped me get through the darkest of days. The days are no longer dark and I thank God for that.

[Doosha]

Harley - yay!! Im so glad! Now make it work!! :)) Thank you for sharing the story!

[leighanna23]

Hi guys,

 

I am new here. I am glad that I found this forum.

I also have a reconciliation story I want to share about my co worker.

But before that, I want to share my own situation.

 

Together with my ex for 5 years. I was his first. I am a bit older and had dated several guys prior to him. I also started dating when I was 14 -_-. So I do have more experience than him. I am also a guy btw. I have been broken up several times, a bit jaded but still can love.

So before I started dating him, I told him that he has to be careful with my heart coz I have been hurt so many damn times. The thing is that after these bad experiences I had, I started developing OCD. Long story short, the OCD made me unable to see him physically. We are neighbors. But there were a period of time in which I was unable to see him for up to 6 months! Even though I talked to him every nights on facebook and cam until 3 am, it was not enough for him. But my anxiety was so severe due to OCD that THAT was the only thing I could give him. I was also unable to let him come to my apartment due to the OCD. (Eff you, OCD). My therapist told me that I was using OCD as a self-defense mechanism to not letting him getting too close to me due to my fear of being hurt.

He broke up with me Sept 2017 and I realized how idiotic I was. He told me that it was not the end as he has to work on himself. So instead of giving him the space he deserved, I pursued him and kept reminding him I waited for him. We were both hurt. As the result, we became toxic to each other. He also started getting involved with drugs and excessive drinking. The climax was when he decided he wanted to go to couple counseling for us. But anytime he was around me, he was always anxious. (He also has anxiety problems FYI). That really hurts me. The person that I trust the most have an "allergic reaction" while he was around me. So anyway we decided that we could not be friends. He told me that he loves me very much but he buries his feelings deep inside so that he can heal and function normally.

I love him so much as I was about to propose to him before he broke up with me. But anyway I want him to be happy again so I have been doing the NC for 10 days. I told him that one day once we both fix ourselves, I would love him to give me another chance - a clean slate chance. Even though now he says he is tired giving me chances.

I have not opened instagram and facebook because I know whatever things he posted there could potentially hurt me. It has been 5 days since I could move from my bed. (I graduated from grad school last December so still jobless). I don't know how I can move on but at some point I have to start picking up myself. The only time I got out off my bed when I retrieved my food from GrubHub.

 

 

 

our stories are sooo similar. he was younger, we were neighbors and both had anxiety with ultimately was our downfall. it is rough feeling like its not our faults... :(

[leighanna23]

I just want to chime in and say that I'm reading this thread over again now... almost 6 months post break up... feeling much more apathetic to reconciling with my ex... and it's a bit surreal. 3-4 months ago, when I was reading these stories for the first time, I was in such a dark, low, terrible, desperate place. I can still feel the pain I was feeling at the time as I read through all of these stories again, and it's made me realize how far I've come since then. I just want everyone that's reading this thread right now, and feels hopeless, and thinks that your world is closing in on you, and that you'll never come out on the other side, and that you don't know what you'll do without this person, that life feels incomplete without them, that you 'know' he/she is the one for you -- I want you to know that I was in your shoes, not too long ago... and it DOES get better, life DOES start again, you just have to want it for yourself and that day will come for you when you're ready.

 

I haven't gotten my ex back - I tried everything in the book... no contact, writing a letter, being his friend and being super positive and happy, I even sent him a video telling him everything I've learned and how much I've changed... None of it worked. But it worked for me because I needed to exhaust all of my options before I could make the decision to give up... I finally had the courage to let go, because there was nothing left to do, and it's the best thing I could have done for myself. I still miss him, but it's okay. I don't need him anymore. And if anything is going to bring him back, it's that, but it's also okay if it doesn't, and I didn't think in a MILLION YEARS I would ever be able to say that. I couldn't even imagine myself getting to this point 4 months ago... I didn't know what "it gets better" meant... but IT GETS BETTER.... I promise you'll get there too!

 

I'd love to be able to post my story on here one day. It's helped me through some very dark days.

 

thank you so much. this really helped me.

[Neruda20]

My grandmother felt it was important to call me to tell me that Christina and Tarek El Moussa are back together. Took me a solid 10 minutes to figure out what in the world she was talking about.

[leighanna23]

Super silly but I wish Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick would get back together.

[Wonderwoman11]

Hi everyone. I have been reading these stories over the past few months and just finally finished. I finally got up the courage to post my own story. And now I would like to share some reconciliation stories I know of since reading everyone else's has helped me so much in the last 3 months.

 

1) My friend B and her boyfriend K were together for 3 years. They had a child together and were engaged. Then he decided he wasn't in love with her anymore and left her for someone else. He moved out and shortly after moved in with the new girl. B was distraught and didn't handle it very well at all. They didn't have any contact with each other for a year and a half unless it had to do with their son. K stayed with the new girl for about a year and B finally went on a couple dates in that time but didn't have anything serious with anyone. K ended up leaving his new gf and one day when he was dropping their son off at night, he ended up coming in and they talked about a bunch of stuff and ended up sleeping together. B told me over and over how she didn't have feelings for K anymore and she had finally gotten over him and she wanted strictly a fwb situation. But after a month of that they ended up back together and are still together 1 year later.

 

2. My friend C and her now husband D went out for like a year but D would never commit to her. He would always tell her that they weren't exclusive and he would see other girls too. She finally told him that she wanted some kind of commitment or they were done. So he chose to keep seeing other girls and about a month later D ended up in a serious relationship with someone else. They had the same circle of friends so they remained friends. C started seeing someone as well. Neither of their relationships ended up working out and about 3 years after they stopped seeing eaxh other they got back together. They are now married with a 3 year old boy and a baby girl on the way.

 

3. C's sister MB was with her boyfriend D for around 3 years. D told her from the beginning that he wasn't interested in marriage and MB told him from the beginning that marriage was something she wanted. On top of the marriage issue D was also very controlling of MB. After a while MB told D that she wanted to know that he would at least be open to the idea of marriage one day or she couldn't be with him anymore. He said he wasn't going to change his mind and they broke up. MB started seeing this guy M who has been chasing after her for some time while she was still with D. M was kind of a tool in my opinion and didn't treat her well. Always blew her off to hang out with his friends. Didn't answer her calls or texts. MB stayed with M for around 6 months and then they broke up. She said she knew the whole time that D was the one she wanted to be with. In this time D also realized that MB was the only person he wanted to be with. I don't know who contacted who or how much contact they had while they were broken up but they have now been married for 2 years.

 

4. A girl I used to work with C and her boyfriend M had been together for 2 years when she noticed he started becoming distant and acting funny. She ended up finding out that he had been cheating on her (emotionally) with a younger girl that he had met at his work. They broke up. They had lived together so C moved out. M tried to start a relationship with this new girl but it never really went anywhere. C took it really really really hard. She started going out drinking all the time, lost 30 pounds because she couldn't eat, slept with a couple guys we worked with. M tried talking to her a couple times after things with the new girl didn't work out but C wanted nothing to do with him. They had previously lived together in Washington and had moved out here together. After M tried to reconnect with C and she wanted no part of it, M moved back to Washington and C moved back into the apartment that they used to share here. Apparently he left a couple things there and after a couple months of living back there C contacted him about his things. I don't know how the reconciliation occurred other than her contacting him about his belongings but next thing I knew she had put in her notice at work and was moving back to Washington to be with him. That was about 4 and a half years ago and they are still together in Washington now.

 

As I write each of these stories it makes me think of more. I guess I didn't realize how many couples I know that have broken up for periods of time and gotten back together. Maybe because I see them now as couples and how perfect they are together and forget that they all had times when things weren't so perfect for them either. I will try to add more stories as I think of them.

[askdan]

My ex fiancée from 2004 came back 14.5 years later...once she heard I was divorced in 2017. We are getting married this fall. She wanted nothing to do with me and we were in NC for over 10 years.

[Chris12189]

My ex fiancée from 2004 came back 14.5 years later...once she heard I was divorced in 2017. We are getting married this fall. She wanted nothing to do with me and we were in NC for over 10 years.

 

That is amazing. Congraluations!

[Mustardseed]

Hi guys,

 

I know that this is probably a bit premature but I'm just going to put my story here and leave it at that. My ex and I dated in 2015 for a couple of months but I was just getting over a break up and I was not ready for anything serious like he was. He was the most amazing boyfriend ever and he loved me like I have never been loved before (I know how cheesy that sounds lol). Anyway, I was so depressed and I was in a lot of emotional pain and I couldn't handle it so I broke up with him and even though I knew he loved me more than I loved him, he didn't chase me or act desperate. He let me be and did not beg me to stay instead, he tried to be my "friend" which led to him being incredibly hurt since I was sure I did not want to be in any relationship and treated him like an actual friend. Eventually after a couple of weeks of this pretend friendship, he gave up and disappeared - to my relief (It was getting exhausting being friends with someone who was in love with me).

 

Fast forward to six months later, I was doing well emotionally and had even started seeing a psychiatrist to help me with my depression and all of a sudden one day I realized that I had just destroyed a beautiful relationship and left someone who loved me unconditionally. This realization shocked me! I reached out to him and at first, he was so happy to hear from me and was falling over himself to see me but after a couple of days he called and told me that he did not wanna see me again and that even though he had strong feelings for me, he was not in love with me anymore and he wished me well. I was blown away and all the "power" I had held before in the relationship suddenly vanished. Quick tip - (If you feel like your the weaker person after a break up - try telling the person with all the "power" that you don't want them any more and that you "wish them well"- That really changes up cause it strips the power off that person completely! hahahahaha)

 

I immediately started trying to explain myself to him and trying to make him understand why I left for six months lol I tried manipulating him, I tried being understanding so that he could think things through etc. but he wouldn't change his mind about us. My kind loving boyfriend had changed. He turned so cold hearted and mean and I could now see how much pain and heartbreak I had caused him after I disappeared. I tried getting into a friend with benefits situation with him to try and get him to have feelings for me but that only turned to him telling me things like "I just want sex, I do not have feelings for you, you should move on, I met someone else and so on. It was bad! I had now turned into a pathetic person in his eyes. This happened in (March - July) 2016 btw. Anyway, he eventually decided it was best if we completely cut contact since " I had caught feelings" and he went a head and removed me from FB and IG and blocked me on his phone as well - A dark time followed after this - I cried everyday, I was depressed, I was very moody and everything just seemed to hurt all the time. The thought that he was deeply in love with me the year before (2015), would do anything for me before and now is treating me like trash just killed me. It crashed me.

 

2017 was a bit better at first as I had stopped contacting him and I somehow felt stronger even though I hurt a lot and the sense of rejection was always at the back of my mind. Eventually, in Feb 2017, I cracked and called him and to my surprise, I was unblocked! He picked up the phone But his tone was so cold and we ended up having a small chat that he abruptly cut short. The fact that he picked up, gave me some hope that maybe his ice cold heart was melting just a tiny bit. In April, I went to a house party around his neighborhood and after a few drinks convinced my friend to do a "drive by" to see if he was home. (He is a nurse so he comes home at around 9 to 10pm). Anyway, as we were passing by, he pulls up into the drive way and gets into the house and I ask my friend to let me out and go to his front door and knock (I cringe writing this part. I was such a stalker and super crazy hahahaha) He opens the door and to say that he was shocked to see me was an understatement! he let me in and after some chit chat, we started talking about us and he wasn't as angry as he used to be but I could tell that he knew he had the "Power" and his ego was so big at the time. we talked about how we felt and held each other as we spoke which told me that he still had feelings for me but he wasn't about to show them- Again, this gave me some hope. I tried to text him a couple of times after that but he didn't reply and I eventually just stopped contacting him again.

 

In May, I moved from my old place where I had a roommate to my own apartment downtown and I disabled my Facebook account. I just felt so tired of chasing him and thinking about him and I wanted a life that he knew nothing about. I stopped stalking him online and just started praying that I meet someone else and forget about that very embarrassing moment of my life. I also changed how I treated people around me especially people who loved me and cared about me. I did not want to learn this painful lesson twice.

 

In 2018 around March, I texted him to let him know that I got my Permanent Residency (He had helped me with my application while we were dating) and I did not expect a response since it had been such a long time and I had somewhat moved on ( I still loved him but I wasn't in love with him like I used to be before). He texted back right away and he seemed so happy to hear from me but I just responded with a quick and simple "Thank you. All is well. I hope your good too" - I wasn't trying to go back to being that pathetic person again and he had also made it clear by his actions and words that he did not want me at all.

 

Beginning of August 2018, I decided to text him a simple text just cause August was when we first met and I was feeling a bit emotional. I honestly, did not expect a response and went on with my day as usual ( I have/had come to a point where I was not attached to response from him. Whether he responded or not, I did not care). He CALLED me. We spoke for almost 3 hours straight about everything we were up to and he mentioned that he had missed me but did not know how to reach out to me after everything he had said to me. He eventually came over and we really talked and ended up sleeping together and him staying over. It's been two weeks but things are still going great. I'm trying not to rush things since I do not want to make him feel like I am pressuring him even though I love him and want us to be how we were, I've noticed that I have changed a lot over the years and I have to be patient with "US". Today, as I was I was getting ready for work, I watched him sleep in MY bed and I honestly couldn't believe it - I thought about how hopeless everything had seemed over the years and months and here we are cuddling in bed, going on dates, talking on the phone and making plans. It's honestly unbelievable.

 

I am so sorry for how long this post is but I wanted to just give back to this place even though everything is still very new and shaky between us, I just wanted to give someone hope. I had to get to a point where I just loved him because I did without expecting anything back from it. I don't know why exactly I didn't give up on us but I will say that no matter who I was dating over this time, I knew deep inside of me that I still loved my ex and that's something that didn't really change so please do not lose hope.

 

I will update you guys in a couple of months on how we are doing but I'm here if anyone needs to ask me anything. Again, I am so sorry for this long post :-)

[deltaphi]

Since i'm currently going through my own situation I completely forgot about some of the stories I know:

 

1.) Z and B dated in high school for about 2 years until Z cheated unexpectedly with one of B's best friends (shocker right?). Eventually B couldn't take it and broke up with Z. She moved and went to a different high school for her senior year and didn't talk to Z for ten months. I mean full 10 months NC. They lived their lives and it hurt B to see Z with other girls time to time but nothing got serious. Eventually they reconciled and I have no idea who reached out to who but they've been together for about a year happy as can be. I mean they're literally perfect together.

 

2.) This couple involves both of my best friends. K and L. They've been through a lot together and I mean a lot so I'll give as much details as I can. K met L in our high school her sophomore year. K is a very pretty girl who could essentially get anyone she wanted but she eventually got really into my boy L. K and L dated for a year in state and then L moved to another state where they did long distance. L cheated on K numerous times. I mean numerous times and K just kept on taking him back and one time K just had enough and left. I think L cheated 5 times. L dated other people and K found a new boyfriend but eventually L realized that he really loved K that she was the one for him. He called K to tell her how he felt and she said that she had a new boyfriend and that she couldn't take him back but she did care a lot. L had friends back where we lived so he decided to visit them and he ran into K and ended up hanging out with her. She knew she wanted him back and she ended up breaking up with her new boyfriend and dating L again. This is the first time they reconciled. And this is this is around our freshman year of Uni. So L decided he loves K so much he's going to move down her to go to school. He moves all the way from across the country to come back to her. He's a changed guy, never cheated again, and ultimately ended up spoiling K. Within 2 weeks of L moving down here. K broke up with him. He begged K to reconsider but she said no she didn't want to be with L she felt like they weren't good together and that L was immature and childish. K ended up having feelings for someone else who happened to be an old friend of L. So she jumped into a rebound that lasted 6.5 months. She always chased this other guy whom she said she was crazy about and though she would never get over. She really liked this new guy. But things never took off, he would ghost her, not reply, he seemed to just be in it for the sex. She ended it with her new guy and realized L is the one. L begged for 3 days and went NC for 6.5 months and she would call periodically but he would never ever answer. Like never. She begged me to talk to L and see if he was single. I talked to L and asked him about it and he was so reluctant at first. He thought she wasn't coming back. But all in all she did. They had a talk worked things out and ended up being together for 3 weeks until K ended up screwing another guy behind L's back. L left for another month of NC. She came by his house and stated that she was done playing games and she wanted to be together. L took her back AGAIN. They lasted for a total of 4 months until they called it quits again because of K's busy job schedule and L's focus on life. They're extremely civil now. And I believe they'll get together again after i've asked both of them and they've both said never but nothing ever clicks for those two besides themselves, so naturally I believe they'll find there way. But goes to show, they've reconciled 3 times through pretty much pure love. And its amazing.