Getting back together really does happen!

[Sadandhurt1]

Another story (that is actually a personal experience):

 

This guy was never actually my official boyfriend but we did date. He was emotionally abusive and downright mean. And he honestly dragged it for two years, making it seem like he always liked me. I was so dumb, didn't know what was and wasn't good for me. One night we just got into a huge argument (which was normal for us honestly), him yelling at my face & he made me cry in front of our friends and everything. From then I told myself I'd never ever talk to him again, I deserved better. I initiated NC from then. He even called me the day after, I ignored it.

 

In a few months I actually got into a relationship with my ex now and old abusive guy texted me "congrats" when he found out because he saw it posted on FB that I was now in a relationship. I was actually angry, but I calmed myself because I was now happy so I just ignored it. I was in a much better place.

 

But then another few months later he decided to call me, repeatedly! I didn't answer any of his calls. I ended up telling my ex (who was my boyfriend then) and he was PISSED! Literally wanted to beat this guy up. I was pissed too because after all the emotional abuse he actually put me through he would not stop trying to contact me. From then I blocked him on everything, deleted his number, everything. Not a good reconciliation story, but yes they usually do come back. He's someone I plan on never talking to ever again though. You can't put someone through something like that and expect them to come back.

 

This is why I appreciate my ex so much right now. He literally taught me how it was to be in a good relationship. And he taught me that what I had gone through was not healthy at all and I was worth more and deserve the best. I seriously love that man so much. I don't even think he knows how much. Hoping I can write a reconciliation story about us one day.

[sada88]

Two stories that I know of for getting back together and maybe one in the process:

 

One of my mates is dating a Muslim and she is from the Baltic region. His mother hates her and he is one of those people who compartmentalise all portions of his life. She is incredibly emotional and when she gets emotional, she tends to be a tad bit verbally abusive. They broke up three times due to these issues. The last one, he broke up with her because he realised that he couldn't give her what she wants - commitment and having a bf that is emotionally available. She met up with him and tried to talk to him out of it. ...they were broken up for maybe a month (?). Anyway, I don't know what happened but they are now back together. What I do know is that they remained in LC with one another. Neither one went NC during this breakup. Maybe NC for the first two break-ups but he always reached out after a couple of months to get back together.

 

Second story:

Another of my mates is dating her first love in HS all over again. Apparently, he left her because he fell in love with another woman. But they always remained in contact with one another for the next 7 years. He always came over during the holidays and her family loves him. Well, they met up during a holiday party sometime this year and both realised that they still love each other. They are now dating each other again.

 

Maybe getting back together is my story. This guy isn't the one who drove me to Enotalone but a different one. I'll post it if I do choose to get back together with him but it is currently process.

[Honeybal]

My friend was with her boyfriend for 4 years and they broke up after a year of living together and he was putting up pictures with other girls as soon as she moved out. She was completely heartbroken but she knew they would never work out because they were at different places in their lives, he was working and she was still in school, working and still partying. She hung out with a guy who became her boyfriend who she fell inlove with. Six months later the first ex was waiting at her house to talk to her and said he made a mistake and that there was no one else like her and he wanted a another chance. She was so heartbroken when he broke up with her that she said she was going to need some time to think about it and she was with someone already. She ended up dating both of them for year until she finally decided to go back to her first ex because they had the same goals in life and wanted the same lifestyle. She said she will always love the second guy but she knew in the long run he would not make her happy. Its been 8 years and they have been married for two. She never thought they would get back together ever.

[Wolfshook]

She ended up dating both of them for year until she finally decided to go back to her first ex because they had the same goals in life and wanted the same lifestyle. She said she will always love the second guy but she knew in the long run he would not make her happy. Its been 8 years and they have been married for two. She never thought they would get back together ever.

 

One of those stories that kill your wishes about getting back with your ex. We need more like this!

[Sadandhurt1]

More stories:

 

1) I know this couple who were on and off for years. Pretty sure they initially met in college and then when they graduated they were LDR for awhile. She cheated on him all the time, and vice versa. Absolutely terrible but I mean I guess that's what LDR's do. You miss the comfort of having someone there all the time and you look for that elsewhere. Anyways they ended up breaking up, what looked like for good. Fast forward a few months to a year later and I see her posting a lot of cutesy photos of them again everywhere. They look really in love. Good for them, but still I don't like the cheating. Guess we'll see how that goes!

 

2) Another couple I know were together for years as well, hs sweethearts. They ended up breaking up for unknown reasons. I remember seeing the girl all last summer at parties and she was living the single life. He, on the other hand, got into a relationship with another girl. Pretty sure it was for a few months or so. Saw him around too, seemed happy. Then one day out of nowhere while out eating breakfast w my now-ex, we saw them walk into the same diner. They were back together! And the girl he was dating seems to be back with her ex now too. Lol. Funny!

 

Goes to show that no matter the circumstances whether there was cheating involved, moving on to another relationship, etc, if things are meant to be, it will be.

[PLane1375]

Thank you for this thread and everyone who shared stories. I know it doesn't always happen, and it may not be right to expect getting back together, but sometimes people just need a little hope to make it through the day. Thank you all very much.

[SnugglePuggle]

Well I have a sort of a success story. I'm 22, he's 24. Bf and I broke up in October due to him having issues with his parents divorce, and he took it out on me. A week later we tried to reconcile, and it backfired. My parents went ballistic, I had never seen them so angry. They said awful things which ultimately pushed him away for fighting for me.

 

Fast forward until about a week and a half ago: After limited to no contact, I get a long email from him saying he had opened up to me about what was going on with him and that the break up had nothing to do with me. That he still loved me and wanted to make things work.

 

I at first said no due to what my parents would think, and that I thought it was the wrong timing. But as I started to talk to him, all my feelings and emotions came rushing back. We've been talking like the good old times and just having very positive times. I haven't felt so happy in a long time! He's improved himself, worked on his faith in God, and is such a rock for me, standing on solid ground.

 

But there's a major factor in this- my parents. We thought it would be good for now to not keep them in the loop since of how they reacted last time, but they are sensing I'm hiding something and I'm afraid our cover will be blown. We wanted to wait til I got a job in my field, and depending on where that was he would move closer to me or I to him, and we would seem like it happened naturally- "Oh yeah we've met a few times, think we might try this again" sort of thing. Since I would be out of their house they wouldn't have much of a choice and there wouldn't be as much kick back from them. But since I'm still at home and I'm afraid the cat will be out of the bag soon, it might blow up in our faces. I have been speaking with him though and he's standing by my side through anything.

 

I'm just still anxious about it though. I want them to approve of him and see how he's changed and that we could have a happy ending. But they are so controlling and not understanding

[Sadandhurt1]

Another story, been having a lot of these lately. Lol

 

I know a couple who was in a relationship when they were young, maybe early high school. It didn't last long, not sure how long, but they ended up breaking up. Fast forward a few years later and they were still in love with each other. They ended up getting married, however, another few years after, they ended up getting divorced. He's in the air force and she's in college. Not sure what happened there but I know that she ended up following him to wherever he went. It could've just been a stressor on their relationship. Not a successful relationship in the end, but they still tried, and who knows what's going on now, they've been very quiet about it.

[ShatteredMan]

Goes to show that no matter the circumstances whether there was cheating involved, moving on to another relationship, etc, if things are meant to be, it will be.

 

I can tell you that if I ever found out that one of my ex's (that I still am friends with) cheated while we together, I'd never get back together.

[Retrovertigo]

I can tell you that if I ever found out that one of my ex's (that I still am friends with) cheated while we together, I'd never get back together.

 

Agreed 100%

[Heartbrokenkid]

Hi, I was dumped on New Years Eve by my ex girlfriend of 8 years whom I have a 6 year old with. We have been arguing for the past few months prior to the breakup due to my anger and jealousy issues. And I'll admit I got too comfortable with the relationship and I did not show my love like I should have. My ex girlfriend basically wanted to break up to find herself and to see what she wants.

 

After a few weeks we have decent to not so good convos.

She has told me that she wants me to prove that I love her and to see if I change. She tells me that she really wants to get back together in the future but just not right now. She says she is not ready and still does not feel the same for me. She wants to learn to love me again. I asked her multiple times if she wants me to stop fighting for her and to leave her alone. She says no but sometimes her actions say otherwise.

Her sister says she is in a phase where she just wants to go and whatnot.

Again she says she doesn't feel anything for me but she also says she really wants to eat back together in the future. (I'm 28 she is 25)

 

I really do want to reconcile with her and I have been working on myself to make myself better but also to be a better person for her and to be an ever better father.

The breakup happened on New Year's Eve (over a month ago) is that considered still fresh? Please help any advice to get her back. Also some clarity on does she really want me back in the future like she says. And why not now?

 

Thank you in advance

Any advice?

 

UPDATE.

 

So last week my ex was coming back from the snow with her family. She texted me that my son wants to spend the night with me and to get him. Also she is dying to see me. We ended up not seeing each other that night but we went to the mall together the next day. Later on in the evening she text me "I enjoyed being with you today, it brought back memories" then around midnight she text me "I feel lost" "I want this, want us" "but my pride tells me no" "I can't be this weak".

 

A week later we decided to go to the mall just us. It was a pretty ok day. We talked and laughed a little. She we accidentally touched each others hands. She said it was "old habits" She text me later that night she really enjoyed being with me today.

 

So today i noticed she deleted one of our pictures off instagram. The most recent one. (But there are more of us still up.)

 

I am very confused where we are right now.

 

SOMEONE PLEASE HELP AND EXPLAIN

[Sadandhurt1]

Really struggling lately because my ex actually just recently blocked me on everything, so now it's really strict NC so I thought I'd bump this thread....

 

Know a couple who had been together since hs. Then I think they hit a rough patch in the middle of being in college. They were single for awhile and I don't think the two of them really dated anyone else, just really focused on themselves. Well the guy ended up going to police academy, came back. She ended up contacting him and now they're back together, looking happier than they've ever been.

[jah123]

I don't know If getting back together does really happen, but something interesting happened to me: I've met for a dinner with my ex girlfriend(she was my girlfriend for 2 years). I remember I was really destroyed by this break-up(it was back in 2015, you can probably still see posts here of me moaning, crying, etc). I had held anger and pity in my heart associated with this break-up for a long time, but one day I just texted her with birthday wishes, I was really kind and polite, and we decided to meet It was a really pleasant meeting. We went to a Vietnamese place, talked, laughed..And I don't really hold any pity in my heart anymore. I'm happy for her, I like her. However, we don't maintain contact as we used to do few years ago, but we're certainly "cool" with each other and we've left everything that was bad behind us.

 

Of course, we're not getting back together or anything but what I want to say is..That one day you actually realize that you can forgive and I mean it like..forgive for real and even be able to meet this person, talk, laugh. It was a great experience for me.

[ShatteredMan]

I watched a special on John Lennon and him and Yoko broke up for 18 months and then they got back together and had a baby!

 

And wrecked the Beatles.....

[Lysflower]

I have been reading this thread from beginning to end on an on/off basis over the past 4 months or so, and some stories have been really inspiring. I don't have that many stories to tell, as I don't seem to be surrounded by people who have successfully got back with their ex (i.e. for good). But here it goes:

 

Story 1 I heard from a uni friend in summer 2015, I don't have much detail: G (the guy) and A (the girl) were dating when we were at uni in Southern France, and they seemed to be in a very stable LTR. I wasn't really good friends with them but we were hanging out from time to time at and outside of uni. We lost touch after uni, i.e. around 7 years ago. My friend told me in august 2015 that A had got bored of G and decided to break up with him and date older men. That's probably a typical case of GIGS. G was devastated because he genuinely thought A was the one, and I can tell they were literally the seemingly "unbreakable" couple at uni everyone could think of. I know nothing about the exact circumstances but a few months after the BU, G met with the girl he was in LTR with before dating A (probably in high school) and they got back together, literally years after their break-up. I don't know however whether they are still together - could always ask my friend to update me on this!

 

Story 2 I heard from a friend (who also happens to be an ex) to comfort me about my ex ex (!): This is a lesbian story. D and G, were dating in their mid to late twenties in London. They were very much in love but disagreed on their life plans, as one of them wanted to go to the U.S. to pursue a career whilst the other wanted to remain in the UK (something along those lines). They broke up as a result, and D went to the U.S as she had planned. They probably lost touch or were in LC, but I cannot say for sure. Both D and G got on with their lives, found other partners and even have kids. Twenty years later D comes over to London for some friend reunion and meets with G. They then decide to reconcile, at the expense of their then-current partner.. 20 bloody years later!

 

Story 3 is my favourite - I witnessed it live on New Year's Eve this year, and a friend gave me the last details the morning after over breakfast. Dawn and Will were dating in New York 15 years ago in their early to mid-twenties, and were really in love with each other. Will really wanted to go and live in Brazil and start businesses over there. Dawn was planning to follow him but could not get a visa (don't know why though). Will had to choose between going to Brazil to pursue his dream and therefore leave Dawn behind, or stay with her in NY. He chose to break-up with Dawn and went to Brazil, where he lived for 12 years, got married and had a son. Dawn was a basket case for months but she eventually managed to move on and got married as well. They completely lost touch. 12 or 15 years later, i.e. around 1 year and a half to two years ago, Will is going through divorce and wants to go back to the US or the UK (he has dual citizenship). At that point he decides to contact Dawn and finds her on Facebook. Dawn was also getting divorced at that time, and she felt unsure about meeting up with Will after all this time. All her friends and relatives advised her against seeing Will again, because of the mess she was in when he left her to go to Brazil. Dawn however decides to meet up with Will anyway. The rest is history. They got back together pretty much on the spot. 3 months later she was pregnant with their daughter, they got married last year, are raising their daughter and Will's son, and bought a beautiful cottage house in the English countryside. That's where I partied on New Year's Eve! (I am glad I crashed their party with a couple of friends

 

All 3 stories are about people who successfully got back together years down the line, with very little or no contact at all while apart. This is a trend I have noticed in the various posts: the longer the time apart, the more likely a reconciliation becomes if the initial relationship was meaningful (and respectful) enough for both counterparts to have kept some space in their heart for their ex whilst moving on with their life. They "just" needed a last little push of luck and good timing. I wrote "just", but I guess we would all agree this is rare! The stars need to be aligned.

 

Another element that struck me in story 3, and that was not touched upon in this thread, is the influence friends and relatives can have on reconciliations. It is actually my friend who told me that Dawn's entourage was hostile to the idea of her meeting up with Will. So I asked my friend what she would advise me to do if my ex ex (who is the only ex I would like to reconcile with) were to get in touch with me in a few years. Her response was exactly what I expected: "no-go area, don't do it, this would damage you even more". And yet, wasn't Dawn right in the end to disregard her friends' advice? That makes one wonder whether the possibility of reconciliation is not hindered sometimes by one's entourage - as all they can picture in their head is the hurt and drama caused by the BU. They switch to "overprotective" mode and forget that sometimes you have to take risks for good things to happen in your life. I know for sure that I would feel under pressure from my best friends and sister not to reconcile with my ex if the possibility were to materialize, even though they all agree she is a nice woman. Just a thought that maybe deserves a separate thread..

[downright]

This forum helped me through my break-up, so I am here giving back.

 

I got sorta back with my ex, we are dating but not in a relationship. We are taking things slow right now and going to see how things go from this point on. There was no cheating involved, she just wasn't happy with me anymore. When she dumped me, I did the classic post-breakup behaviours: begging, telling her how much I love her. Whenever she responded, she was either cruel or cold. It was that point that I decided that I deserved to be treated better than that. Cut off all contacts for bout 2 months, enjoyed time alone, reclaimed my identity and then one day I got drunk and texted her. That was how we started talking again.

 

One key point was that whenever we texted (sober), we never once mentioned or discussed why we didn't work out or if we liked each other still. I know I do, but I didn't want to question her. Because so what if she still likes me, we were done and I didn't know if I wanted to get back with her even if I had the chance to. We just enjoyed each other's company and I didn't close off the possibility of us getting back together, neither was I overly enthusiastic. I knew there was a chance that we will not get back together again but I was okay with it.

 

To all the people out there trying to get your ex back, it takes time. Don't rush it, don't let your emotions take away your dignity. Once enough time has passed to get your brains back, follow whatever feels right for you.

[Jrs]

Here is a couple of stories for those of you clinging on to hope. Just bear in mind that reconciliation requires the will and power from both parties. All three stories are LTR’s.

 

1. A good friend of mine was together with his girlfriend for around 5-6 years. They had a 2-year-old son. One day he accidently saw a text on her phone from some dude. It turned out that she had invited that dude over for a sexual affair. Obviously, he was furious and they had a big fight/argument. Eventually she moved out. Who was the dumper and who was the dumpee is not exactly clear here. She was not the cheating type and it was probably the first and only time she had attempted this (it never happened). Both seemed to struggle with being apart. He did not eat, cried all the time, slept all day and so on. She did not seem to function fully as well as she on several occasions had to have the kid taken care of by her own mum, for days at a time while only able to lie on the couch sulking. NC of course impossible when you have a little child so some contact had to be. Eventually he started texting her a good morning in the morning and a good night before bedtime. She never replied. Only if he forgot to write. Then he would get a “why didn’t you text this morning”. 6 months in, she heard that he was about to become serious with another girl (they both lived in a very small village) and she immediately came over begging him to reconcile. And they did. Still together now 9 years later and now have two sons. He is a nice guy but like a lot of guys, probably not as aware of female needs (hugs, kisses, compliments, looking deeply in the eyes when listening to her problems etc.) as guys probably should be. Not that it should be an excuse to search for an affair but these things just seem to happen sometimes.

 

2. Another friend of mine had been together with his wife for 9 years. No kids. They had massive problems getting pregnant. Tried three artificial inseminations. No luck. Like my first friend, not as attentive to female needs, spending too much time by the computer, watching too much sports, not as influenced on the problems getting pregnant as his wife and rarely interested in talking about it. One year she went on a month holiday with her mum to a country on the other side of the globe. They became friends with some of the locals. Next year they went on another one month holiday same place. When she came home she told him that she had “ruined their lives”. She had fallen in love with a guy over there. Obviously that could never be, but she left my friend and moved to her mum and dad. (her mum by the way, had no idea what had happened over there….) There was no contact between them at all. Two maybe three months in, she called him in tears as she had recieved a letter from the hospital with a date for in vitro fertilization, for which they had applied for maybe 6 months earlier. She asked if she should cancel the appointment or postpone it. He told her to postpone it and come home. It took him a long long time to forgive her, but he was willing to try and eventually did. They went on to have three lovely daughters.

 

3. A third good friend of mine, married and been together for maybe 5-8 years, accidently looked at his wife’s phone one day she forgot it going to work, and he discovered that she had an affair. He confronted her and she admitted it and told him that she wanted to be with the other guy. They had two sons aged 2 and 4 at that time, so obviously also here impossible to implement NC. She quickly moved in with the other guy. After a couple of weeks, she came back asking him to reconcile. The answer was no. She tried again 6 months later. The door was shut. Now 10 years later she still lives with the affair partner. He is still alone and has never entered any serious relationships since then. He is a great guy, and to be honest, I’m not sure he’s confident he made the right choice back then. He seems to miss “family life” and someone which to share and discuss the kids’ experiences with. But his decision back then were made from the assumption, that their life would never be the same after the affair. He is probably right, it would not have. But not necessarily worse, right? So this couple never reconciled, but the possibility was certainly there. And isn’t that what everyone is hoping for. Another chance to get it right, which ever route you decide to take.

 

There are many reconciliation stories out there, if you look for them. I could easily find a couple more if I wanted to. Best of luck to all of you hoping for a miracle.

[Capttrae]

We aren't back together yet but it's sure leaning that direction. After 9 years and 7 months of being broke up I'll be at her house in Tampa Fl, it's almost surreal, never thought we'd ever be in this position again but yet here we are.

[Capttrae]

52-53 more hours honey and we'll start the first weekend we've had together in better than 9 years. Here's to new starts 2nd first dates and hopefully many new memories

[Hawnfawn]

Whoa. How'd all that happen? And fingers crossed for a great outcome for you two.

[Capttrae]

Whoa. How'd all that happen? And fingers crossed for a great outcome for you two.

 

If that's directed to me, it just kinda did. We met up before now season, had a couple drinks when her and her husband separated. After her divorce was final me she moved to fl, we started talking on a regular basis. The last week of duck season she asked if we could get together for the weekend sometime, when I got to the boat at the start of this hitch I shot her a couple dates and we decided on this weekend.

[Shadowbite]

If that's directed to me, it just kinda did. We met up before now season, had a couple drinks when her and her husband separated. After her divorce was final me she moved to fl, we started talking on a regular basis. The last week of duck season she asked if we could get together for the weekend sometime, when I got to the boat at the start of this hitch I shot her a couple dates and we decided on this weekend.

 

 

You sound excited, Hope it goes well.

[mandeelove]

If that's directed to me, it just kinda did. We met up before now season, had a couple drinks when her and her husband separated. After her divorce was final me she moved to fl, we started talking on a regular basis. The last week of duck season she asked if we could get together for the weekend sometime, when I got to the boat at the start of this hitch I shot her a couple dates and we decided on this weekend.

Wow whats meant to be will be even after many many years! Glad to read your story. Good luck

[Capttrae]

And we are back together. Been an amazing weekend of rekindled flames, hours and hours of conversation, just amazing

[Thebighere]

And we are back together. Been an amazing weekend of rekindled flames, hours and hours of conversation, just amazing

 

Congratulations!!! I'm very happy for you! I'm reconciling at the moment too. Keep us updated