Jrs

Here is a couple of stories for those of you clinging on to hope. Just bear in mind that reconciliation requires the will and power from both parties. All three stories are LTR’s. 1. A good friend of mine was together with his girlfriend for around 5-6 years. They had a 2-year-old son. One day he accidently saw a text on her phone from some dude. It turned out that she had invited that dude over for a sexual affair. Obviously, he was furious and they had a big fight/argument. Eventually she moved out. Who was the dumper and who was the dumpee is not exactly clear here. She was not the cheating type and it was probably the first and only time she had attempted this (it never happened). Both seemed to struggle with being apart. He did not eat, cried all the time, slept all day and so on. She did not seem to function fully as well as she on several occasions had to have the kid taken care of by her own mum, for days at a time while only able to lie on the couch sulking. NC of course impossible when you have a little child so some contact had to be. Eventually he started texting her a good morning in the morning and a good night before bedtime. She never replied. Only if he forgot to write. Then he would get a “why didn’t you text this morning”. 6 months in, she heard that he was about to become serious with another girl (they both lived in a very small village) and she immediately came over begging him to reconcile. And they did. Still together now 9 years later and now have two sons. He is a nice guy but like a lot of guys, probably not as aware of female needs (hugs, kisses, compliments, looking deeply in the eyes when listening to her problems etc.) as guys probably should be. Not that it should be an excuse to search for an affair but these things just seem to happen sometimes. 2. Another friend of mine had been together with his wife for 9 years. No kids. They had massive problems getting pregnant. Tried three artificial inseminations. No luck. Like my first friend, not as attentive to female needs, spending too much time by the computer, watching too much sports, not as influenced on the problems getting pregnant as his wife and rarely interested in talking about it. One year she went on a month holiday with her mum to a country on the other side of the globe. They became friends with some of the locals. Next year they went on another one month holiday same place. When she came home she told him that she had “ruined their lives”. She had fallen in love with a guy over there. Obviously that could never be, but she left my friend and moved to her mum and dad. (her mum by the way, had no idea what had happened over there….) There was no contact between them at all. Two maybe three months in, she called him in tears as she had recieved a letter from the hospital with a date for in vitro fertilization, for which they had applied for maybe 6 months earlier. She asked if she should cancel the appointment or postpone it. He told her to postpone it and come home. It took him a long long time to forgive her, but he was willing to try and eventually did. They went on to have three lovely daughters. 3. A third good friend of mine, married and been together for maybe 5-8 years, accidently looked at his wife’s phone one day she forgot it going to work, and he discovered that she had an affair. He confronted her and she admitted it and told him that she wanted to be with the other guy. They had two sons aged 2 and 4 at that time, so obviously also here impossible to implement NC. She quickly moved in with the other guy. After a couple of weeks, she came back asking him to reconcile. The answer was no. She tried again 6 months later. The door was shut. Now 10 years later she still lives with the affair partner. He is still alone and has never entered any serious relationships since then. He is a great guy, and to be honest, I’m not sure he’s confident he made the right choice back then. He seems to miss “family life” and someone which to share and discuss the kids’ experiences with. But his decision back then were made from the assumption, that their life would never be the same after the affair. He is probably right, it would not have. But not necessarily worse, right? So this couple never reconciled, but the possibility was certainly there. And isn’t that what everyone is hoping for. Another chance to get it right, which ever route you decide to take. There are many reconciliation stories out there, if you look for them. I could easily find a couple more if I wanted to. Best of luck to all of you hoping for a miracle.