Getting back together really does happen!

[Wolverineluke]

I've been reading this, as have many others, and it has given me a positive outlook on whatever the outcome turns out to be. After dating for a year and a few months, I'm 7 months into a breakup and 5 weeks no contact. Interested to see what the future holds. Anyways, I have a few stories:

1. My best friend and his girlfriend have been together for 7 years. It was his first everything. He's moving down south for dental school and she wasn't sure if she was following. They broke up and were devastated. It only lasted a couple days as he went to talk to her the next day, but they're back together.

 

2. My buddy from college just went on a date with an ex from 2 years ago last night. They both dated people in between and had LC throughout. I woke up to a text telling me they're back together this morning.

 

3. My ex went back to her ex 2 times when they dated on and off in high school. He used her and it was destined to fail.

 

4. A guy I went to school with has been on and off with a girl from high school for 5 years now. I just saw they're back together on Facebook today.

 

5. A girl I was friends with in college broke up with her boyfriend for a year. She moved from Michigan to Florida and they both dated other people. She moved back up here and they've been together for a few years now, are engaged and have a baby.

 

6. My ex ex ex has been trying to get back with me for 3 years now. I would never take her back, but she would in a heartbeat.

 

7. My parents broke up once in the 10 years they dated. It was for a few months. NC. Both missed each other like crazy. Ended up back together and getting married.

 

I'm sure I have more but they're not coming to mind rn. If it is meant to be, it will happen one way or another. Do not worry and do not fret. There are situations where fighting for the love will work, where LC will work and where NC will work. If you've tried one and it pushed them away, definitely jump into NC to better yourself and become indifferent. I was where a lot of you guys are. Not able to get out of bed in the morning for work. But after over a month of NC and understanding that if THE EX WANTED CONTACT, THEY WOULD REACH OUT TO YOU, I am back to normal.

 

Just give it time and patience. I made the mistake of hanging out with my ex over the summer and trying to get right back to where we were. Even unintentionally persuading her to try again when she wasn't ready. She told me after everything she wasn't ready and not looking for a relationship. And it'd be 'awhile until she's ready to talk to me'. So I'm giving her the space, as all of your exes need. Put yourself in their shoes and try to understand where they're coming from

 

Good luck to you guys and I hope to post whatever the outcome for my situation ends up being on here

[SportsGuru38]

I actually just witnessed a reconciliation in person today. I didn't know who these people were but they were in there 20's. I noticed them having a serious discussion in an empty parking lot I was in. They were standing 15 feet away from each other arguing and I heard the guy say "you broke up with me" etc in a pretty angry tone. The girl seemed very shy and didn't say much. The guy was upset. Long story short while I was playing tennis for 2 hours I could still see them talking to each other. At times it got heated but slowly they got closer and closer physically. Unsure what was said but they were all over each other hugging, kissing. They refused to leave each other after that. Literally they sat down along side her car and just held each other. It was pretty warming to see them having a very weird and awkward stressful post break up conversation only to then reconcile and work things out. The girl eventually left after more hugs and the guy walked off. I really wondered exactly what he was going through. I'll never know. They both looked so dang happy. I envy that feeling!

[Yourhazeleyes]

My first ex-boyfriend (7 months + on and off for another 6 months) tried to reconcile twice. The first time was ~6 months after our final break-up. The second attempt was ~1 year after his first attempt at reconciliation. Both times I didn't want to get back with him even though I still had feelings for him because too much damage had already been done. He initially was the dumper and I initially was the dumpee. Funny how the tables turn.

 

My most recent ex-boyfriend (4.5 months) broke up with me 3 months ago. He hasn't tried to reconcile, but he contacted me recently. I'm crossing my fingers for this one.

 

Not sure if any of those stories were "success" stories but dumpers do come back!

[Wolfshook]

Got another one. A month ago guy I know was left by his gf. He messed up. Today I heard they are back together for a few days.

[Theycallmenova]

Of course people can get back together, I dated a girl briefly and messed it up due to my drunken idocracy and like a coward I tried to get her back only when I was drunk which pushed her further away. Almost a year later we started speaking again and we're close to a reconciliation, but although I'd changed a little I hadn't changed enough and she was still hurt from the past so it never happened. We don't speak anymore but instead of being bitter I just realised I needed more time to change myself into a better person and beat my alcohol problem. I couldn't blame her for walking, it's highly unlikely it'll happen but it doesn't mean she won't come back. There's been a few times I thought I'd never hear again and I have so you never know. I think for most people you just have to concentrate on you and being the best you can be in a situation like this and eventually if it's meant to be then all the cards will fall back into place and you can have a better relationship. I've fully accepted that she may never come back but if I'm ever gonna have any hope would be to just be the best I can be and if it's not her then it'll be someone else. Same to any of you guys in a similar situation, just be the best you and don't mope around. Learn from it and maybe it'll come back. Good luck.

[vitacoco]

Is it still possible to get back together if you haven't heard from the dumper in 3 months?

 

I know it's best to assume it's NOT possible but thinking there's still a chance actually helps me keep doing NC. When I feel hopeless I'm more inclined to reach out because I feel like there's nothing to lose.

[Theycallmenova]

Well what's the situation? How did it end and are they seeing anyone else or don't you know?

[vitacoco]

Well what's the situation? How did it end and are they seeing anyone else or don't you know?

 

The situation was that I was going through a really difficult time, losing my job and had been trying and failing to find a new one for like 6 months at that point. I reached a breaking point (super depressed, anxious, had a break down), and we were also having some relationship problems. We were reaching the point where his conservative parents needed to either meet me, or we'd split up. He even mentioned how I'd have to meet them. Then he broke it off.

 

The thing that gave me hope is that I had to go visit his city shortly after the breakup for a job interview. He said he was terrified of seeing me because it'd be so easy for us to get back together and then just break up again, and that he didn't want to rush it. He said if we got back together it'd have to be with a clear path forward ie marriage.

 

I cling to this hope even though he hasn't reached out to me in so long.

[Theycallmenova]

Yeah I can understand you were going through a difficult time and it drove you guys apart. Well how are you doing now in terms of job and whatnot? Are you happier now in those areas of your life? I know it's extremely hard to do no contact when you care about someone believe me. I think you should still not contact him and be the best person you can be and concentrate on yourself. If he loves you and still cares he will come back especially if he sees how well you're doing, you can't get back together just for the sake of it. You and you alone have to be in the right mindset and happy with yourself and your life before you go back there, get that sorted out first and trust me it'll fall into place whether it's with him or someone else. Happiness starts with yourself!

[vitacoco]

Yeah I can understand you were going through a difficult time and it drove you guys apart. Well how are you doing now in terms of job and whatnot? Are you happier now in those areas of your life? I know it's extremely hard to do no contact when you care about someone believe me. I think you should still not contact him and be the best person you can be and concentrate on yourself. If he loves you and still cares he will come back especially if he sees how well you're doing, you can't get back together just for the sake of it. You and you alone have to be in the right mindset and happy with yourself and your life before you go back there, get that sorted out first and trust me it'll fall into place whether it's with him or someone else. Happiness starts with yourself!

 

I am in a much better place now-- I got my dream job shortly after we split and I'm loving it. And I'm much more emotionally stable. I'm having a good time with my friends. But there's still this black cloud over me because I want him to come back so badly. And it's a shame that he can't see how well I'm doing now. It would have saved us. I'm tempted to reach out but I just hope he comes back to me first.

 

The thing is that he knew I got this new job-- last time we spoke it was when I just heard I'd gotten it. Doesn't he care to see how it's going now? The fact hat he hasn't reached out in 3 months worries me that he might never. But Hoping that he does someday is what keeps me from saying F it and just texting him.

[SmileyFace123]

1) S (girlfriend) and R (boyfriend) started dating in college, early twenties I believe. They dated about two years. R said during this time, "S broke up with me many many times."

 

Later on they both got into graduate schools in separate countries so they called it quits. Don't know the details but I believe they were either NC or LC. R had a different gf during grad school.

 

Two years later they both graduate and R catches word that S moved back home. He flew home and told her he still loved her, breaks up with his current girlfriend, and the two got married. They are still married decades later.

 

 

2) T (gf) and J (bf) dated through high school. They were both religious and as part of their religion it was pretty much a social requirement for men to embark on a two year mission when they're about 19/20. At this point they had been dating about 3 years and T told J she wouldn't consider marrying him unless he went on his mission, even though J really didn't want to go.

 

J sucks it up and goes on the mission. He gets assigned to a third world country. During the mission his job is to preach his religion, but he is not allowed to call or see his friends/family/T. The only contact he gets is through the occasional letter that he can send out or receive.

 

About 6 months in T sends him a letter telling him she has found someone else and has gotten engaged. The real kicker is that the new guy isn't even religious, meanwhile J put himself through this just for T. He's already locked in though and there isn't much he can do as he's trapped on another continent.

 

At the end of the 2 years J comes back. During this time he's really matured and changed from his experience. Despite not wanting to go originally, he gained a lot and says it was one of the most important events of his life. Anyways T and her new man have broken off the engagement at this point, but T and J aren't exactly on speaking terms. However, T's mom loved J and kept finding excuses to invite J over to the house. Eventually T and J go out on a few dates, which J blows. He would flake out, be rude, and was often very late. It seemed like things were done for good.

 

Then one day they run into each other at a football game. Things click. A few months later they get married.

 

30 years later they're still together

 

 

 

3) L (wife) and P (husband) were married for a long time. Due to work P had to move away though they were long distance and stayed together. During this time P engaged in multiple affairs.

 

P eventually confessed to L that he had cheated on her. L was furious and decided to get a divorce. They began the process and had a separation. As they were nearing the divorce L had a change of heart. They stayed married and went to counseling. I don't know the details but I know it was a long recovery process but they're still together today, this was about 7/8 years ago.

 

4) N (gf) and D (bf) met when they were young twenties. After a few months N already was ready to marry D and begin pushing him towards marriage. D wasn't ready so N walked away and started hooking up with a new dude.

 

Don't know the details but they reconciled a little bit later. Then a few months later D sees photos of N and her former guy and gets pissed that she had been hooking up with another guy during their split. Guess she didn't tell him those details. So D breaks up with her.

 

Don't know the exact timeline but Again D and N reconciled. This time N is determined to make it work. So she hatches a plan. She tells D she's on the pill so they have sex with no other protection. But she's lying and trying to get D to get her pregnant so that he would have to marry her.

 

Well her plan works. N gets pregnant. But somehow D finds out that she planned this whole thing to trap him and is FURIOUS. He dumps her immediately.

 

N goes through the entire pregnancy alone. I don't know the details but I believe it was NC or the minimum contact. D starts dating a new girl during the 9 months.

 

The day N gives birth she calls D and says that he should come see his son. D shows up sees his son and the mother of his son and everything changes. He breaks up with the new girl and immediately gets back with N.

 

They were married for something like 25 years before D passed away. They had a beautiful marriage.

 

 

5) A (gf) and T (bf) started dating sophomore year of high school. They dealt with typical problems. I became friends with A freshman year of college. When they were now in an LDR. They had stereotypical young people problems. A always described T as the "crazy girlfriend" in their relationship. Even though they were long distance he would always want her to stay home and talk to her on the phone. He was super jealous of any guys she was around and even some female friends. She was in a sorority and he would go crazy when she wanted to go out and party. He would get mad all the time and break up with her, then call her back the next day saying he was sorry. It happened so many times that she wouldn't even get bothered by it.

 

After her freshman year in July (so together a little over 3 years at this point) A decides she's had enough of it. So SHE breaks up with HIM. He does the usual crying, begging, even tells her he's going to commit suicide, but she's done. She casually sees two other guys.

 

They eventually ran into each other at a mutual friends Halloween party in another city. They were both visiting and got back together.

 

They were together another 2 years until she broke up with him again, this time citing the same reasons though she did say he had improved a lot after their break up. She also said she never really intended to stay apart she just wanted to teach him a lesson that he needed to cool down. After they split the second time she is now dating one of the guys she was with during their first break up, though honestly I bet she will get back together with T eventually based on what she says. I think if T wanted her back he should just go NC. She even says it herself that she uses T as a safety net, bc the new guy is way less devoted to her. T might have been crazy but he would do anything for her, still to this today. If he cut her off i promise she would come running back.

 

 

 

6) Don't know too many details but a couple I know were married had a couple of kids and got divorced. MANY decades later they remarried when they were in their seventies. They are happy and in love today.

 

 

7) G (gf) and Z (BF)started dating her freshman year of high school, when he was a senior. They dated till she graduated when she broke up with him. She told me that she "couldn't believe her first boyfriend would be the one." So she went to college and in her words "was a total sl**." Two to three years later they reconnected. When i met G it had been a few years after that, they were married and she was pregnant with their son.

 

8) F (BF) and V (gf) dated about 18 months. During that time they had already had two mini break ups (lasted a couple of weeks). Anyways they had been fighting a lot and just neglecting their relationship. One day they got in a car accident where they hit each other's cars. F breaks down and screams at V. V decides she had it and breaks up with him right there. Both of their tempers are at 100 and F goes so far as to get witnesses for the police report in case "V Doesn't pay for the damages."

 

Anyways they both cool down and F realizes he's made a mistake but V is really mad. During the whole car debacle, their families get involved and there is even more drama.

 

F tries desperately to win V back. He apologizes, begs, cries, you name it. Im really close with V so during this time she kept telling me she just wanted some space. After about a month she realizes that they broke over a stupid fight and got back together. Idk if they'll make it last, bc a lot of the same issues that existed are still there but they've been happy the past few months.

 

When I talked to V about all of this, she just felt really hurt and wanted space. She also said that it wasn't anything that F did that "won" her back but just coming to these thoughts on her own. Coming back for her was hard though bc of pride, guilt, and embarrassment after telling everyone it was over for good.

 

9) Don't know too much on this couple but my friend was hooking up with this guy, I, last summer. I had broken up with his girlfriend a few months back because she cheated on him. Then in Februaryish he and his ex girlfriend got back together. So they must have been broken up for somewhere between 6-12 months.

 

10) Two of my friends, were together for like 3.5 years. Didn't know them too well but seemed really happy. A few months ago I saw the girl post she was single on fb. A few months later I saw them posting lovey pics on facebook. So I guess they're back together.

 

 

11) My therapist told me a story of one of her clients. They dated for 5 years and split. They ran into each other in the grocery store 3 years later. Got back together, got married.

 

12) Michael phelps and his gf have been dating for 9 years. During that time they had two break ups. One for a few months and another for 3.5 years. They dated other people during that time, but Michael felt Nicole was the one. He got the chance to tell her how he felt and now they're together, engaged, and have a baby. Nicole says that during that break they learned a lot. That it's impossible to have a fully loving relationship without loving yourself. Nicole also said during their break ups they truly hated each other and were angry.

 

13) My grandparents dated off and on from high school. They met when he was 14 and he was 17. We don't know the full details but they definitely dated other people, and were on and off a lot. In fact for a few years my grandpa moved to a different state and my grandma was even engaged to another guy. They married in their early/mid twenties and were together till my grandfather passed away in his seventies.

 

14) My own story: I met my N when I was 18 a few months before we headed off for college. We had a short summer fling, but then decided to continue it LDR in college. A few weeks in N breaks up with me bc he couldn't handle the LDR. I was crushed but I understood and thought it was for the best anyways. I still really liked him and most of my first semester I was really depressed and heartbroken. To take my mind off things I partied a lot and hooked up with many guys (typical college freshman). I would try to message him and hang out during breaks as we decided to remain "friends." He would usually blow me off, flake, or just be really cold and distant when I would try.

 

Finally after Christmas break I decided I was going to force myself to be happy. A lot of things hadn't gone the way I wanted that first semester and I made it my mission to change things. Instead of partying, I threw myself into my studies. I went to a really elite college and made it my goal to get a 4.0. I also got involved in extracurriculars, got my first job (making sandwiches but helped me grow up so much), got an internship, made a lot of friends, and went on a lot of adventures. I decided that I wasn't going to contact him anymore and just put the focus on becoming the best version of myself I could. Occasionally he would text me, and I would always respond politely but leave it short. I still missed him, but I really tried to make everything about growing up.

 

Spring break rolls around and I decide not to ask him to hang out. Well surprise surprise who asks me. We met up and it felt like old times, the chemistry was there and I just knew that we would be together again. We left back for school and I was determined that when I came home from school in the summer we would make it work.

 

Well I go back to finish my final bit of school and few weeks later I go on FB and see a picture of him and what I realize is his new girlfriend. I will never forget how I felt in that moment. My heart was broken. But I liked the photo and that was because I really did "like" it. The thing is when you really really love someone, you will want them to be happy and have love, even if that love is not with you. Even though it stung i was glad that someone was taking care of him. It also finally allowed me to fully let go, to give up on any hope of us being together again and that was really freeing. I still went to the cafeteria and downed a 1000 calorie muffin Bc i was so upset.

 

I couldn't be upset for too long bc I was busy w/ all of my own stuff and I also hit a really rough couple of months. Just one of those phases where things aren't going your way (similar to what I'm going through now) so i couldn't dwell on it. A friend of mine, where we both kind of liked each other but I didn't do anything with bc I still liked N, started hitting me up again. Since I gave up on N I began hanging with this new guy more. There was no way for N to have known what happened, but just as we were hanging out N starts texting me again. He and his new girl broke up and he starts talking to me.

 

A few months later we got back together, so we were broken up for about 8 months. I never regretted being apart because it forced me to mature and grow so much in a way I wouldn't have done if we had stayed together. He had originally been depressed when the new girl dumped him. Surprisingly about 8 months later she wanted him back! But it was too late because he was already happy with me, but another case of the dumper coming back.

 

N broke up with me about 6 months ago after being together for 3 years. That was what originally brought me to this thread. When I read through I see a lot of people who are fresh out of a break up and I just want to say it gets better no matter what happens. When it first happened to me, I was a mess, couldn't stop crying, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, couldn't focus. I felt like the world was ending and wasn't sure how I was going to make it, it was horrible. Even though I was in a lot of pain I really forced myself to move forward and I feel a lot better today. We had no contact except for me sending a very direct apology stating the things that I did wrong and that I wished him the best. During this time I:

 

- joined several extracurriculars and made a lot of new friends

- connected with a lot of old friends

- gone on a lot of adventures

- got a new job

- got in the best shape of my life

- threw myself into volunteering

- got a therapist/read self help books to conquer my own issues

- fixed health problems

- I made it my goal to do at least one thing a day to challenge myself since the split. Maybe it was apply for a better job, or take a martial arts class, or read a different self help book. Whatever it was I have had so many things add to who I am.

 

Im kind of going through a rough time bc I just got laid off and a lot of those things got shut down bc of that, but I still learned and grew a lot from all of those experiences and will continue challenging myself.

 

The point is I've gotten to a point where I realize he probably isn't coming back and that's ok. I don't even know if I would gbt if I had the chance because I've grown so much, idk if he would be receptive to the person I am today. Ive learned to make myself happy again and have gained so much since we split. I don't even recognize the person who I was, because I feel I matured a great deal. Yes Im still sometimes sad and miss him but Im happy on my own and am confident that I will end up with the right person. I also am in a much better place to have a successful relationship with anyone. I came back to post all of this on this thread because I know when I was super depressed I would come here and I wanted to pay it forward. I also want people to know that yes you will feel better even if they don't come back

 

I know there's a lot of negativity about giving hope on this thread, but this was actually what helped me move on. Like many of you I read through dozens of "how to get your ex back" articles. Looking at these stories I realized that people do reconcile all the time, but it's not generally due to some calculated plan. every love story is different, sometimes people get back together and break up, sometimes they get married, and sometimes they never get back together and find better partners. For some it takes a few weeks, for others it can take a few decades. For some the dumpees truly deserved it and for others the dumpers just had GIGS. Everyone has a different story and there is no way to tell how yours will unfold until you let time run its course. The best thing you can do is move forward and be the best version of yourself and trust that things will work out for the best regardless. To me moving on just means focusing on things that make you happy in the present and future and guess what the more you move forward the less you will care about getting back together with your ex AND the better off your relationship will be should that ever happen.

 

a "success story" isn't about getting back together with your ex. It's about healing and bettering yourself, and learning to be the best and happiest you. If your ex comes back or if you find someone new thats a bonus, because the only relationship that lasts forever is the one you have with yourself. I know it's hard to believe that when you're in pain but a relationship won't make you happy, two happy people make a happy relationship. So put your best foot forward, learn, grow and be positive, and see what happens

[Ebullition]

Any new stories? Currently back in the bowels of NC Hell and expect to be there for the foreseeable future!

[vitacoco]

Not quite reconciliation but I had a really ugly breakup with an ex (we said horrible things to each other) and we didn't have any contact for almost a year. Then I ran into him and he started texting me again and wanting to hang out. Of course I had already moved on from a guy I had once WISHED would come back.

 

I've also had guys I went out with (where nothing came of it) popping up again much later.

 

I wonder if it's more likely for someone you were never serious with to come back, or a real partner? To me I think, if these insignificant guys can come back much later, why shouldn't someone I was actually close with?

[SmileyFace123]

Well Ive given up completely. But there are a bunch of posts here

 

ENA post

"When my boyfriend and I got back together after a 6.5 month breakup that he initiated (he's the one who asked if we could try again, also), we talked for something like 7 hours about everythingthat had gone wrong between us, and asked every question we could think of.

 

At the end of it all, we agreed to leave the past in the past, and start fresh.

 

That was almost 7 months ago, and we're still going strong, much better than before."

 

ENA post

 

I use to come on to the forums writing posts after posts about my horrible break-up and how depressed I was. So many of you gave me advice and support.. I appreciate it all! I remember spending hours on enotalone just reading other people stories and just looking for hope.

 

Like many, I tried to do the NC, but kept failing by breaking it and calling my ex over and over. Every week I would tell myself ok im not going to contact him and then 2 days later, I couldn't stop myself from dialing his number. I was major wreck. It was like a nightmare come true and although he never did cheat on me.. he did rebound a month after we had broken up and dated some girl cause he thought he was "over" me. Of course when I found this out, I was devastated.. my life crumbled into pieces. 3 years with this man.. wasted. I almost felt like I'd rather be dead than deal with this pain. But finding out that he was with another girl helped me move on even more because it made me not want to contact him anymore. I wanted NOTHING to do with him. I was disgusted and finally deleted all my pics of him on myspace, blocked him on aim and myspace, and deleted his number and put all the things he had given me away in a box so that I could no longer see it. I was still depressed and in pain.. but I realized NC was the only way for me to heal. I even read an e-book that someone sent me about doing NC and how that will make your ex want you back. Although I was disgusted with my ex, I still wanted him to beg me back and I still wanted him to feel sorry for the pain he put me through (we had a very toxic relationship).

 

The funny thing is.. I followed this e-book and the advice from the forums. In my mind, I was like this is not going to work.. but I followed what the book and everyone said to do.. just MOVE ON!!! That's the only thing you can do. And I did. I started working out, doing things I loved doing, got my hair and nails done, went out clubbing with my girlfriends, met new people, dated new guys.. I did whatever that made me happy and kept my mind off my ex.

 

I did not contact my ex or even txt him although I was curious to know what he was up to. Then 1 MONTH later, he calls me! He called from his work number so i didn't recognize it and answered it. It was funny cause I didn't recognize his voice and asked "who is this??" I think he was shocked. You know what I did when I found out it was him? I blew him off! I was so shocked at myself because I never in a million years thought I'd have the confidence to do that. I guess knowing that he was with another girl made me want nothing to do with him. But I was just surprised at the way i handled the convo with him. I acted like I had moved on. I didn't act sad/depressed/angry.. instead I acted HAPPY, CONFIDENT and told him I was busy and that i had to go. I could tell he wanted to stay on the phone longer but I made it short and told him "maybe I'll call you another day."

 

 

Well, I never did call him back. I had no need to. Then 2 weeks later, I get a txt from him saying "Yo, how are you doing?" I ignore it. 5 min later he txts me "You know I try to make a conversation with you cause I still do care about you." My heart dropped reading that msg but I had to be strong. So I ignored it. Although I so badly wanted to txt him back, I knew that it would just show him that I still cared. Next day, he calls me! I finally decided to answer it and see what he has to say. Boy was I in for a surprise. Never in a million years did I think my ex would appologize or BEG me back. He's the type to hate to admit that he's wrong.. and the way our breakup ended.. I really thought we'd never talk to each other ever again. He pretty much told me he made the biggest mistake of his life and that the girl he was dating meant nothing to him. He said he was ashamed that it took him this long long to realize what he had and that there was no one compared to me. He said he still loved me and that he was going to dump that girl that night! He would of dumped her sooner but it was a lot more complicated because he worked with her and he's the manager.. and she was kind of crazy so who knows what she might pull on him after he dumps her. He somehow made her quit her job though cause I told him there is no way in hell i would be with him if he still worked with her. He told me he would do ANYTHING to get me back. I honestly didn't believe a word he was saying. I even told him that he can talk all he wants but I won't believe anything he says cause I have absolutely zero trust in him. He said he understood and that he would prove it to me. Anyways after a long talk, I told him that I had to go and id talk to him later. After our convo though, he emailed me and texted me like an hour later! The email was basically him stating he made the biggest mistake of his life and that he wish he could take it back but he cant and that he would do anything to gain my trust back. He said that he was miserable without me and that can't live without me. I was a little touched my the email but still skeptical. I continued to ignore his txt and email. And then he called me again later that night telling me he broke up with the girl (btw they only dated for a month and it wasn't serious). He pretty much told me everything and was straight up about how we were always fighting so much and breaking up all the time that he thought our relationship wasn't going to work, especially cause I complained and got mad all the time about his busy work schedule and his new job. He couldn't handle all the pressure and he just couldnt take it anymore. He said he thought he was over me but realized later that he still loved me. Unfortunately it took him dating another girl and time away from me to realize that the grass isn't greener on the other side.

 

 

So I basically told him that I didn't know if i could trust him ever again and that i dont even know if i still have feelings for him (i lied.. cause I knew I still did). Although he broke up with the girl, I wasn't going to just let him off that easily. He wanted to see me so bad but I told him no, not until I am ready. So basically we talked everyday for a month. He would call me numerous times a day... txt me all the time saying he missed me and all this other lovey stuff. He would make sure to find time even though he was at work, to call me where as before, he would never do that. If anyone interrupted him while we were talking, he'd tell them he was on an important "business" call. He pretty much was trying to prove to me that he was a changed man. He said he learned a lot from the breakup and that he can't treat people like this. He felt so guilty that he would cry to himself at work and at home. So blah blah.. i'll try to make this short as possible.. but I finally decided to give him a chance and see him to see how things would be. I already knew he wanted to be back with me.. he even said that he knew i was the one and he's ready to settle down and get married! I was overwhelmed with all this.. but at the same time it was nice to hear.

 

When we finally did meet.. the attraction and connection was still there. We've always had that special bond. The thing that we struggled with before when we were going out was communication. We always fought and his way of dealing with things was to ignore me or just break up with me. I told him that is one of the reasons I wouldnt want to be back with him and he said that he learned that was not the right way and he promised me that he would always talk things out when we have a problem or disagreement.

 

 

So I wrote a long list of things I wanted in order for us to be together again. Most of it had to do with RESPECT, BETTER COMMUNICATION and putting me first. He told me he'd treat me like a "princess." Although he was telling me all these things, the only way id know if he had changed was to give him a chance to show me by his actions. I know i was taking a big chance by dating him again but I knew if I didn't give him a chance, i'd always wonder what IF I had just taken the chance. I knew what i was getting myself into and I was prepared for the worst. I mean I already knew that I've been through the worst and if he does mess things up, I know that I can be alone and independent since I was doing that while we were broken up.

 

 

Well, my bf and I have been back together now for 8 months now! And although no one believed he would change (neither did I).. I must say he really is a different man. I mean he still has the personality that i always loved, but the way he handles things are so much different. He puts me first, he never ignores me and when we have a problem, we always talk about it with each other and find a way to solve it rather than him just shutting me down. He treats me with respect, he always does little things to show me that he loves me and appreciates me. He make sures to tell me if he's going somewhere like with his friends so I know ahead of time. Everything I thought wasn't possible.. became true. I never saw this side of him and really didn't think he could change. But he really proved to me that he has grown up. We communicate so much better now and he is a lot more understanding. I've never been happier! I always pictured him to be the man i wanted to marry.. and although we went through tough times, I think we both needed that to see that we are really meant to be together.

 

 

Anyways, just wanted to share that with you all. Sorry this post was so long but if you are going through a horrible breakup and want to be back with your ex, there is hope. I think everything happens for a reason and if my ex hadnt gone through that, he still would of been the same jerk he was in our old relationship. I'm not saying that NC will always bring your ex back.. cause there is no gaurantee.. but it does help you HEAL and find yourself again. And a lot of times, if you and your ex are meant to be.. they will realize what they lost and miss you even more when they see you are moving on with your life. But you have to really move on.. NO CALLS, NO TXT, take down all the pictures, go out with your friends, go dancing!, get a makeover.. do whatever that will make you feel good! I hope my story gives you some hope that anything is possible!

 

 

ENA post

 

How I Got Him Back

I’ve followed posts on this site for over a month and it helped me a lot as I tried to get my ex-boyfriend back. I’m happy to say he came back, and I want to share with you what I did. Hopefully, it will be helpful to someone. We were together for about two years and are both in our thirties. We had plans to get married, but we were not officially engaged. He ended the relationship due to a number of problems, including escalating arguments about trivial things and a poor sex life. We had stopped having fun together and were dragging each other down. He was tired of it and broke up with me. He wanted to see other people. I love him and wanted to fix the relationship, but he was done. He was direct when letting me know how “over” the relationship was. I felt really guilty for all of the little things I did to damage the relationship, even though I know he played a part in it, too!

 

My friends thought it would be hopeless to try to win him back. We were broken up for five weeks, but I expected it to be four or five months, if ever, before we got back together. We did not see each other, email, or talk on the phone for four of the five weeks. A few text messages were exchanged, but they weren’t really positive responses from him. Here’s what I did (besides cry!):

 

1) I read “How to Get Your Lover Back” by Blase Harris, M.D. This book is genius and it’s probably what helped me the most. I cannot recommend it enough. Seriously, read this book and follow its advice.

2) I worked out a lot. It helped me calm down, stay busy, and I lost two pant sizes during the five weeks we were broken up.

3) I went to a therapist. I told her I didn’t want her help getting over him; rather, I wanted her to teach me how to be a better communicator in relationships. I learned a ton and it really paid off when I finally did see him.

4) I got a prescription for Xanax. It helped me stay calm during moments of intense grief or anxiety when I thought I had lost him forever.

5) I read an e-book called “Have the Relationship You Want” by Rori Raye. It has some good points, but the most important thing I learned was how to talk about your feelings in a non-threatening way.

6) I read The Secret. It sounded kind of hokey before I read it, but it gave me some hope. I decided to follow its teachings and just “ask the universe” for him to come back, have faith that he would, and act like he already had.

7) In the spirit of The Secret, I worked to fix some of the issues to improve our sex life for when he did come back (birth control, buying lingerie, etc.).

8 )I did strict No Contact for eight days.

9) I prayed. I don’t go to church and have never considered myself religious, but I am spiritual. Praying helped me keep hope that he would have a change of heart.

 

I hope this post helps someone. I’m not kidding, my situation was pretty hopeless. We got back together about a week after we met up to exchange belongings we each had at the other's house. He had even started seeing someone else!

 

Basically, make him/her miss you and don't apply any pressure.

 

ENA post

This advice is only for girls. It's my own personal experience.

I am just posting this and then letting the thread unfold on it's own with no further input.

 

I screwed up a really good relationship by being demanding and acting as if the world resolved around my own special snowflakeness. But I DIDN'T see that I was doing this.

Instead I judged my boyfriend silently and harshly.

Never really trusting, always judging him as being arrogant and self absorbed.

But when things fell apart, I saw that I had been pushing his buttons and pushing him around.

In my defense, he was horrible at communicating and would instead trying and make me jealous by talking about other women.

In hindsight it was just because I acted like a diva.

 

When things fell apart, he cut me off cold. Didnt matter what I did, he was silent and unresponsive. Wouldn't see me. Nor talk.

 

I decided that the best way to go was No Contact, Ignore him back.

 

But then I decided that I should leave things on a high note, positive and to show that I wanted him to be happy.

Even though it pained me no end I wished him well, told him how I had no much fondness for him and wanted him to enjoy his life.

Then I added I would leave him alone since that's what he wanted 'right now'

 

 

I sent this and the onyl reply I got was, thanks, wish you well too.

 

Oh I bawled. It hurt that he let go.

 

But then I worked on myself, for a 3-5 weeks I made myself over inside and out.

I also frequent the same social group that some of his friends' friends do.

So I started going out a lot. Taking photos. Updating facebook.

Looking well.

 

Finally after 4 weeks of no contact, he slowly got in touch.

 

Then after 6 weeks we met up,

 

12 weeks after our break up we got back together and have been happy since last July.

 

So saying goodbye and then looking your best is really a good tact for getting your ex boyfriend back IMHO.

 

ENA post

 

I guess my mom is a success story,

She and my step dad dated.They broke up for about 6months. She told me that she cried for months (I was too young to notice) and he even went on to date another woman. After she got to a point to where she was happy, he called crying for her back. Here we are now! I have 3 younger siblings! lol

 

 

ENA post

Hi,

So me and my boyfriend got back together after a difficult 8 month break up.

We are very suited and can I say have been perfect since we have got back together were both loyal having fun doing everything we can to fix what went wrong before.

We been back together 3 months roughly now... but some days I get my down days about us breaking up and what happened during that time. He did sleep with other people as so did I... however I didn't have the choice to have him back otherwise I would of in a flash and it wouldn't have happened.

I almost some days feel very jealous and hate that he did that in our breakup although we was not together it was so painful.

And some days I still get the painful feeling of remembering. None of them contact we don't speak about them unless I feel pant sand want to talk to him. He always tells me how he never new we would ever work things out. He seems so happy he told me it's just me and him he loves me.. tbh we been talking about engagement we are most defiantly so happy like it never happened.

However sometimes I get so down about the other girls thinking there better than me... what can I do to try and wipe out the past. And just enjoy our present as everything so good atm but sometimes I feel I think into the past so much it hurts me

Not successful but does show she had a chance

 

I got back together with my ex after an 8 month break got engaged 10 months later and 4 months before my wedding he left again because I couldn't let it go. If I could turn back time I wish I had this advise. He chose to come back to you. You need to be confident in yourself and his choice and take it slowly look forward not backwards or you will risk losing him again. You can't change the past and and you can't bring it up in arguments. Let it go and be happy. It's easier said than done but I don't want you to go through what I am going through. Best of luck x

 

More ENA posts

 

 

- "My Mom and her husband broke up after a year of dating. Both dated others. They were apart for 3-6 months. They've been married for 20 years.

 

- "My Dad and his wife broke up for a few months early on and have been together for 7 years.

 

- "A friend was with a woman for 2 years. They broke up. Very minimal contact for a couple years. Got back together and continued for 2 more years. He claims it was totally not what he expected and he was totally glad they were able to try again even though it ended."

 

-" I personally have gotten back together with ex's and had several attempt to get back together with me. Example: my "ex-ex" tried to rekindle things with me 6 months and again a year after we broke up. I had to decline both times as I was with my ex. "

 

i have been dating my girlfriend for 2 years and we started to have arguments none stop. we decide to spilt up, after a week i decide to go down to see her unannounced it turns out a guy was there. i backed of and turned around and kept a cool head.

 

3 months after this date, we contacted each other again, since that date we are now back together in a relationship which has been for a year

[Wolfshook]

Wow,what I just witnessed.

 

They broke up about a year after my ex and I started dating. Both had small relationships in between. Today I've seen them together all lovey-dovey. I know the guy and know that it's recent.

 

Wish them luck.

[SmileyFace123]

Post

"My ex and I broke up in the Spring, got back together in the winter. Things are great, better than ever. We are graduating and looking at rings and things. I broke up with him, and then had to work things out. It took him 9 months to finally trust that I did want him back.

 

 

You have to have a mutual respect and understanding. It took him figuring out some things in his personal life, and me figuring out what I really wanted. I was a pain, took things for granted. Looking back..uh. You forget how good you have it until you don't!

 

And it's a lot of hard work. I basically broke up with him because I was tired of trying, I thought it was getting to hard while we were in a rough patch. Little did I know he also knew we were in a rough patch, but never would have considered ending the relationship. I quit instead of giving it the effort."

Post

"I actually have yet another story - a couple that I know in their mid-30s were together for 6 years, living together and one day he said he just didn't think he ever wanted to get married. She said well it was important to her so they parted ways. For a month they were in limbo and after a month he told her that they were really broken up. She was devastated but tried to move on and be ok. 2 months later (so 3 months apart in total) they got together to talk and he told her he didn't want to live without her. A few months later he proposed and their wedding is in September. I am not sure if it is a good thing or a bad thing that I know so many couples that got back together... I don't really want to keep any hope alive"

 

"This is an update, maybe meant as encouragement for those longing for reconciliation, but also a bit of a warning. I only posted a few times in here. I would come here and look for tiny bits of hope sometimes during my lowest points. I hope this finds someone in that situation and offers them a morsel to cling to.

My story, although a bit complicated, boiled down to my fiance feeling overwhelmed by a long distance relationship that neither of us could help, and him cheating. We broke up after 3 years together and I was lost. I thought he was my best friend, my soulmate, the only person I could ever imagine loving for the rest of my life. He broke my heart and it hurt worse than I do have imagined. I became a recluse in for weeks. I couldn't function.

Within a week of our breakup he was in a relationship with his mistress and within 2 months he had moved in with her. I discovered that little tidbit on Facebook and it literally knocked the wind out of me. I begged. I cried. I wrote long live filled emails. I wrote hateful emails. I did everything i could think of trying to wave the magic wand and turn him back into the man that loved me. This went on for months.

I read everything i could find on winning an ex back. If you've done this you know that the most frequent piece of advice is no contact. I tried to do no contact a few different times, usually lasting a few weeks at most. It would kind of work. He'd miss me. He'd want to talk. He'd even talk about reconciling, but it never got past talking. He was with her and although he wasn't as happy as he had thought he would be after moving in together he felt trapped by shared finances and obligations.

Finally in April, after 8 months of misery waiting for him, I gave up. I woke up one morning and decided I deserved so much more. I didn't send him a final email explaining anything, I just stopped all communication. I dusted myself off and decided to step back into the world. I even reached out to a man I went to high school with and after talking on the phone a few times we went out. It wasn't the same intensity and chemistry as with my then ex, but it was nice. I didn't hear from my then ex until mid May. He saw where I changed my status on Facebook to "in a relationship" and curiosity got to him. We weren't Facebook friends and hadn't been since the breakup, so I was surprised he saw it, but he did. He admitted it bothered him, but wiahed me well. Then on July 4th I posted a picture of myself and the new guy at a BBQ together. My then ex sent me an email the next day telling me he never wanted to hear from me again. I was blown away by that, but I gave him his wish. I didn't respond at all. No email back. No veiled references on social media. Nothing. Three days later he sent another email apologizing. A week after that he moved out and broke up with his mistress. Within a week he had bought a home that he and I had looked at in the past and planned to buy together. When he called to tell me about the house he told me that he loved me and would respect my new relationship and wait. No pressure. He did just that.

In mid August the new guy decided our relationship wasn't right for him. We are totally different people and after 4 months and no forward motion in the relationship from either of us, we knew we were better as friends.

My former ex and I are not officially back together, but we are in counseling and working hard to see if we can get past the things that have happened. We are in a great place right now and if things continue to stay good we plan on an engagement around the holidays and a Spring wedding.

Reconciliation can happen, but it didn't for us until he felt the same loss that I had. He can't miss you if you aren't gone. Also be aware that it's not easy. Even if they come back devoted and willing to do anything, there are scars that have to be dealt with. The pain doesn't go away just because the other woman does. Doubt, fear, hurt, anger, and sadness aren't emotions that go away quietly. You have to be willing to face it head on together and with honesty and complete transparency. You will even have days where you aren't sure you want him anymore and that's fine if you don't.

I never stopped loving him and I feel like what we have is worth the fight...but I know we wouldn't be where we are if I hadn't gave up for awhile. Trust me, if it was real finally losing you might be what it takes to turn things around."

 

I was working this past weekend and also heard some insightful things about breakups. One of my coworkers said two of her friends got back together, but don't know the details.

 

However it was her own story that inspired me way more. She had been dating some guy for awhile, not sure how long. Anyways he dumps her. Not sure exactly what happened, but it must have been messy. Anyways, this was the catalyst to her decision to follow her dreams. She moved abroad, went to grad school and is very successful today. The guy ended up getting married, but she recently found out that he stalks her social media feeds every single day after all this. She's laughing bc she's way over him and is happy with how things turned out.

 

I also was thinking of my friend who said her boyfriend broke up with her. She was crushed, but obviously moved on with her life and went to grad school. Well about two years later she met the love of her life in her grad program. They are getting married and he is way better than the last guy.

 

I come on this thread bc sometimes I still get sad and this cheers me up, mostly bc I like reading stories and it's fun. But I think what I got from everything is things really do workout for the best regardless of what happens. It's really hard in the moment to have faith that everything is going to be ok, but one day you'll look back on everything and be glad it happened. I think of everything in my life that I found in the moment devastating and after letting time unfold you realize those hardships were just opportunities to better yourself and bring you closer to what was ultimately best for you. Perhaps your meant to have some self reflection and solo adventures before you reunite, OR maybe the real love of your life is waiting around the corner, OR maybe you're meant to learn to love yourself and chase after some new dreams. All of these stories taught me that in time you'll heal and find out what's best for you. However I know personally in the moment thats hard to digest because you don't know when, where, how, why things will all play out, which is why in my lowest moments I come here to remind myself that one way or another it's going to be ok. The best thing you can do is work on yourself and do the best you can to make yourself happy

[Neverenough88]

Going through my situation has been brutal 4 years and about to move into our own house and she just left "loves me but doesn't feel in love" probably got boring hope she'll see new guy is just honeymoon phase and what I could provide is better. But this thread definitely made it easier to know that maybe there is hope and just got to push through the time and work on yourself easier said then done. But since these stories calm the mind I want everyone to know always keep hope in a life without hope lots of achievements would be lost. Just don't let it run your life.some stories and a good bump. Names changed to be nice

 

1. My best friend Ben known him for years with his girl for 6 years and he popped the big question it was perfect she said yes you wouldn't see it any other way. After the big question during planning found out she was pregnant with two twin girls. Still perfect. Me and my now ex went to the wedding and that's when I knew I wanted to marry my girl. But anyways kids were born married for year before girl at weld shop caught bens eye and he started telling his woman he was connecting with her and she understood him. He left her to pursue this 1 year marriage and two beautiful girls. Well I told him he was a ding bat and look what he had wish I had that as mine just left me few weeks prior. Well let's say me and his girl talked to each other same situations and she tried so hard but finally gave up to stressful. There back together now it was

Month or two but it is still rough but there fighting for it and that gives me hope.

 

2. Friend from navy had kid with a woman and they were happy she left him saying the whole not in love thing. There were apart month or two and he laid it out on the line found out she was diagnosed with a little depression and got on medicine they are back together and now married and loving life so happy together.

 

Both couples have been there for me and give me hope. Both are ltr and seemed amazing. Thing I learned is communication is key to holding it together and keeping it fresh unlike I did lol. So hold your head up push forward and kick life in the a.. And make yourself a prize best options. Hope to post my success here someday I love her won't give up just yet 2 months apart 1 month nc besides her mom

N me being close she has no man and needs basic help it is possible

[Neverenough88]

So another amazing story from an close friend whom I just caught up on my situation because I remember him going through a rough patch with his now fiancé and wanted his advice. His fiancé dated 2 years. off for 3 months back on for 6months then off again for a full year he dated couple girls she dated a guy During the year off. Guys this is the girl leaving all three times and regretting it which is said to be rare but really isn't. And it was for another man that she was getting curious about. He finally said enough and said go with him hench the year apart now there getting married in April. During the year apart apparently she became single and he wasn't and he even told her off cause he was happy. When his relationship ended they got in touch and bamm. So gonna go see him today for better details of nc or what he did he told me just live your life and keep improving. I think I've learned patience may suck but if your a man you can look at time like a tool. Use it to fix your issues move on so you are ready when and if time comes. Hope is not a bad thing my friend never gave up just continued living his life and she chased him

[Honeybal]

Back together with my ex for about five months now. We were seeing each other four months before this just trying to see if it would really work out again and he said this was it for him, he really wants to make it work this time. We were on and off for about two years before fighting over something stupid and we ended up not speaking to each other for 7 months. He even blocked me on his phone and got back together long distance with his highschool girlfriend. I stayed single and just focused on work and family, but I prayed everyday to get over him and if we were meant to be together for us to find our way back to each other. It was very painful for me, it took me this separation to realize how much I really loved him. Because I couldn't get over him, I decided to confront him face to face to get closure and I was still blocked on his phone. Instead of closure we got hooked back into seeing each other even though he had started a long distance relationship with his hs ex. There was overlap between us, but he eventually realized that it wasn't going to work out for him long distance since she was in a different country and this happened during the four months we starting seeing each other regularly again. We're officially together now and we've started talking about getting married and we see each other every day and are sickeningly inlove. No more games and petty fights for us. We are in it for the long haul now. Every time I get angry or irritated I remind myself that I love him and nothing is worth being separated from him again, and he feels the same way.

[SmileyFace123]

I heard this story today from my coworker and I thought it was super cute.

 

M (wife) D (husband)

 

M and D met in high school. She said they were like 14. D always liked M, but according to M, D was a bad boy and she wouldn't date him.

 

Well M hooked up with another guy and got pregnant when she was still in high school. She kept the baby.

 

Somewhere in her early twenties M and D started dating. They stayed together till they were about 30. One day M slips up and cheats with her daughters father. D finds out and they split up.

 

Over a decade goes by and M and D don't have any contact. M even married a different guy, but that only lasts a couple years before they divorce. D moves to a different state and presumably has other relationships.

 

After about 10 years, M is visiting some friends coincently near where D is now living. Somehow she meets up with someone who knows D. She finds out that D had just recovered from a long battle with cancer. When she hears that she calls him up to see how he is doing.

 

They meet and the rest is history. They dated for a couple of years before getting married. Today they are still sickly in love.

[teapots]

I dated a guy for almost six months. We met on the internet, talked so much, have so much chemistry. We literally cold take for 7+ hours on the phone. Anyways, he lives 1.5 hours away and I was suppose to move to England.

 

He broke up with me about 3 months in because of England, but then I changed my mind ( long story ) and we got back together. Things have been really strained since then, and he swears up and down that he's the reason I didn't go to England. HIs dad passed away. SO much. While it was a deciding factor, it wasn't the main reason. Anyways, he broke up with me last night and it's mostly due to distance. We both have full schedules and we both suck at planning. And even though it's only 1.5 hours away, you really have to plan these things out and you can't just 'pop' over for a dinner or see a movie and we both currently live at home, making weekends away difficult.

 

Anyways - I am really torn up. And I have been moving to his area anyway because I hate where I live and I have a good group of friends and acquaintances close to him. This won't happen for a good 6-9 months, and I know we won't stop talking together forever. We've always been really honest with each (one reason I really liked him. no games) and when we first started talking, he always told me he'd turn into a jerk toward his exes because that's how he copes. he's cold and short with them.

 

The first time he broke up with me, I, in tears, sobbed and asked him not to do that to me. That I couldn't handle it. So last night, HE brought it up, that if I ever need someone to talk to or anything, I can reach out to him. He won't go cold on me. He says that he had to do this because I'm different than any other girl who just dates around. And I told him that there's a chance I might move to his state in the future, and he said that we could get together if that happened. (but if i moved next week, he'll know it's for sure because of him. lol)

 

anyways, one of the last things I said to him was - so i'll never talk to you again? and he said he wouldn't say that. but we can't talk for awhile. And I agree. There's just a lot of disappointment and hurt and I really like him. I don't know if we'll ever get back together, but i know the door isn't shut 100%. Even though he told me i'd find a great guy who isn't a jerk (i then cried and told him to stop talking)

 

this is so painful. but i can handle it. i am strong.

[GreaterThings9]

Hello,

 

First of all I want to say its great to read all of these stories and it really does give me hope of maybe meeting up with my ex one day.

I have been split up with my ex girlfriend for over two months now. Im 22 and she is 19 We met in college and we was together for one year.

It was a great relationship and we hardly argued throughout it and also nobody cheated. Her previous relationship left her scarred as her ex boyfriend cheated on her and they were together for five years. During our relationship she had a lot of trust issues but as we grew closer she did admit she can't believe how much she trusts me. Also she was very depressed when I met her but I gave her confidence and even her parents said to her they have noticed how happy she has became since she has been with me.

 

The last month of the relationship just became stagnant. She got a new job in which she worked unsociable hours, she passed her test and met some new work friends that she decided to spend a lot of time with. As communication became less, the more arguments started. It came to a point where we would hardly see each other so we both decided mutually it was best to call it a day and leave it for now as were at different points in our lives. We agreed to stay friends and be there for each other no matter what. A few weeks after breaking up I tried to fix things and it only pushed her further away. She told me she wants to be alone and the relationship is wrong timing for us. Obviously i reacted and panicked by sending all the cringe messages asking for her to meet me, she agreed to but said not anytime soon but she promises one day we will. I done no contact for two weeks and out of the blue I received a text of her asking 'how are you, hows uni going and is your timetable sorted yet? I responded but didn't ask any questions to keep the conversation flowing. This is when things started going downhill. After about a week i caved in and messaged her, she told me she wanted to message me but thought i wanted space so she didnt. I reassured her she can contact me any time. She then sent me a picture of her looking hot with new hair extensions which tbh made me feel like . Why would she send me that? Obviously she knows its going to hurt me knowing were not together. The weekend arrives and on snapchat I see she's out on a nightout and on her story theres loads of boys in there (she hardly ever posts to her story but soon as she's on a nightout its full of her acting silly). Obviously I was affected by seeing all this, how could she tell me she wants to be alone (she suffered from severe depression as a result from her previous relationship) but she's out partying with all her new work friends. I kept my cool this time and didn't respond. I didn't show her that this affected me and we remained in LC for a few weeks. I went away for a short trip to Amsterdam and I messaged her asking if she fancies going for a catch up when I'm back. She agreed but said she's busy with college and work and we will have to arrange a time when were both available. Its been two months now and we both have some of each others belongings. Anyways soon as I come back after her saying she's busy I see she's on another nightout on snapchat doing exactly the same. Clearly posting pictures on her snapchat of her with other boys knowing full well its going to affect me as we use to talk on snapchat every single day. This is were I made a mistake in reacting. I was so hurt this time so I made a pact to myself that I would delete her off it to stop torturing myself, the day after I just went to her house dropped her few things by her front door (nobody was home) and messaged her saying "i've left your stuff by your front door'. She replied with "Im guessing you don't want to meet any more then". Acting from my emotions I said that "there is no point in meeting now after its been over two months since the breakup. Were not together what is there to speak about.". Obviously she replied saying she is hurt that I think so little of her and she thinks we should meet. I was being ignorant and acting of impulse and told her that theres no point in meeting when she hasn't made an effort the past two months when I have been trying to rekindle things. Now shoes on the other foot I took control and acted like a . She said she wants to sort it and wonders why my attitude has changed so drastically. I messaged her explaining that all my respect has gone out of the window for her because of her posting loads of snapchat stories with other boys knowing that I would see them. If your really having a good night you don't go snap chatting the whole night, I felt like she was doing it to spite me and to get a reaction, and she got it. After the last text message I sent explaining my reasons for change in attitude is because of her not considering my feelings with all this nonsense on snapchat she didn't reply. After a day I started reflecting and I realised I acted like an idiot. I decided to message her telling her that I don't think little of her, the only reason i deleted her off snapchat and dropped her things off was to help me move on and it was nothing personal. I apologised and said that we all make mistakes and nobody is perfect and I hope one day in the future we can meet and clear the air. Again there was no reply. I own up to my mistakes and it still early doors as this conversation happened a few days ago. Im going to go no contact now because i don't want to pester her begging her for forgiveness. I told her I'm sorry and hope we can meet and thats all I can really do now. I just hope in the future when things have calmed down we can meet and clear the air to hopefully start over fresh because we were really good friends before the relationship. As i said the whole relationship was great but I hope my actions during the breakup hasn't pushed her away too much. I guess only time will tell so for now I'm going to focus on myself again and if things are meant to be then we will meet in the future... Any stories similar I would like to hear them! Has anybody acted like an idiot during the breakup and got their ex back?

[Popbradley]

My ex and I have been broken up 3 months now. I thought she was coming around but for everyone hoping for another chance sticking around will not do that. When I say nothing you do will help your chances and instead will only hurt them, I mean it. She seemed like she was coming back around but guess what? Found out the guy I was suspicious about has taken my place in normal activities. At this point even if she came back it would never be the same. I have the utmost. Confidence she will be back one day, as I was not perfect but treated her pretty good. By the time it happens I just know I won't care anymore. I still care very much now and would love to have her back but it's very obvious she has moved on but if patterns from the past relationships I had are the same. She'll be back.

 

Saying that I've already added a few stories on here but another just happened and shocked me lol... My buddy here when I moved back had been broken up with his girl for 7 months. His relationship was not as long and only lasted 4 years compared to my 7 but he was dead sure he would get her back. Everyday we talked he KNEW he was going to get her back. He kept telling me he had a "plan" and was improving himself everyday. I always asked what his plan was but he just said it was in motion lol.

 

So 3 weeks ago I asked him, after having a bad day missing my ex terribly, how he was SO sure she would come back. I also asked how. She had been and what he said surprised me as he was always so confident.

 

He said "dude... Idk. I want her back and I love her but nothing has ever worked out. All my exes have left for similar reasons and love is just fairy tale bull. It always ends bad. I can say I'm going to get her back but come on. I know that's all just talk. We haven't spoken in weeks and when I see her it's always just short lived. She seems to have no desire to come back and I think it's just time I be realistic."

 

That made me feel bad for him but he was right. He had been trying for 7 months to get her back and nothing. She had still gone out on dates and living her life. He lived his life too and was with other girls during the split but he couldn't get over his ex as he actually loved her, you could tell.

 

Anyways. After he said that we didn't really hang out much. He was moving on from her and did what happened but a week later I messaged with no response. I couldn't figure out what happened but he kind of vanished on me. Well come to find out 2 days ago through my mom who Facebook stalks since I got rid of Facebook, that him and her are back together and she accompanied him to his military ball.

 

Shocked the crap out of me but he is the PERFECT example of what you should do. Better yourself and MOVE ON. trust me, 3 months later and I still miss her deeply but she has changed into a person I no longer know. If we started again it would have to be something brand new and that cannot happen until I let go of the old relationship as well as you guys and girls.

 

Literally only 5 percent of exes actually get back together and most of those result in breaking up again. Idk were I read that but I had. The ones that do work are usually after a year or so apart and you have let go of past hurt. Most of you will not accept it and say "I am letting go" but still are not. I still haven't even though I know it's my best chance. Funny how that is huh? When you better yourself and finally let go the chances of reconciliation are 10 fold.

Me and my ex split cause she stopped loving me but found out later it was a bunch of little reasons. I made her feel bad about herself and regret it deeply. Is she going to ever let it go? Maybe. But me being around has done nothing but convince her she did the right thing.

 

I told her I loved her and I would be happy for her no matter what happens. The kicker? I meant it. If she comes back to me one day fine but if not that's ok too as long as she is happy. The best part about that is ending it this way and cutting all contact will make them more likely to remember the good and be curious about you. If we ever talk again she will see the changes in me and decide if she wants to give me another shot. If not, another girl will appreciate the new and improved me and the lessons I learned from my old relationship.

 

All of you need to do the same. Move on, better yourself and increase the chances they come back. If they come back after you had been sulking the likely hood it fails again are huge. Just my opinion but I've read THOUSANDS of stories and they are all the same to an extent. Trust me.

[AisforBroken]

renewed their vowels.

 

LOL. I wonder how this ceremony went.

[Wolfshook]

I have new storry. It's as healthy as 60years old crack junkie with not so modest past,but it is still a storry.

 

Just found out that my female friend got back with her bf. After he cheated on her,forced her on something horrible,hit her and would scream at her in the middle of the night at her family house over nothing... It's been a little less than a year since they split up. Sadly, I know him very good and in my opinion he has just gotten worse over this time.

 

It was mostly NC with sporadic contact from him (she left him).