ButterflyWrists Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 just outta interest, if this is ur last day together, then why are u at the computer instead of having a fun day together? Link to comment
Rose21 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 Because he isn't here yet. He still has to finish packing and everything. He can only be with me for an hr today because he has to leave around 2ish because it's almost a 6 hr drive. I asked him about it, and he doesn't know what it could be because there was no greek function that had sororities in it aswell. And he said he wasn't flirting with any girls, or even talking to them. Just his friends which are all guys. Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Then there's your answer. You know he wouldn't do it, so stop dwelling and let it go. Can't say that she can stop all at once dwelling on it. I had a similar thing that happened to me just recently. I would become also very paranoid even tho i can indeed trust my boyfriend. Can understand how & why she feels this way. There are now SO many ways of cheating someone & the internet makes it VERY easily to cheat someone... and also, the interent gives other (sick) people all the chances to come up with such tricks to completely destroy another persons' life. Link to comment
bulletproof Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 My guess is that someone is making fun of you because you post how much you love your bf every day, and post photos, etc. Maybe someone thinks you are bragging a bit? Regardless, giving out all that information is never a good idea, whether it's about your relationship or not. Link to comment
MinziGirl Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Naja... whatever the reason is, no one has any rights to poke fun at anyone like this. Such distrust can sometimes go really deep. Like i have said: one can become very paranoid, even tho it is not their fault... This is perhaps a kind of new-age cyber-bullying? Link to comment
browneyedgirl36 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I agree with the others that it's probably nothing to worry about. I also agree that you shouldn't post so much personal information, particualarly about other people. Rose, you've posted lots of pictures and details -- even your exact hometown, and it's not like you live somewhere huge like New York or LA, so it would be easy to find you if someone wanted to. It's just a good idea to keep yourself as anonymous as possible and keep really specific details between you and your friends, or maybe in PM's to other ENA members that you feel you can really trust. I hate to sound paranoid, but....stuff like this is why I don't post pics of myself on here, give even my first name, or state my exact location other than the state. It just leaves you open to all sorts of people doing crazy stuff -- cyberstalking, identity theft, you name it. Bottom line: If you trust your boyfriend, and he said he didn't do anything, LET IT GO. You have very little time to spend with him today. Enjoy it and don't worry about what some prankster says. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 Well I tried to show him the message, and he turned away from it very offended saying that I already told him everything about it. He says he's talked to girls, but it's never been anything remotely to lead them on. Just conversation. (same with me) He said if they ever tried anything more, or acted like they were interested he would bring me casualy into the conversation, and if the persisted he would say he has a girlfriend he would never betray. We are very loyal, we don't give our numbers out to the opposite sex and we don't hang out with them one on one. Although I have one other guy friend, and he's okay with me hanging with him because we've been platonic brother/sister like friends for over 2 years and my boyfriend is also friends wit him. But he was very insulted that I would question him about it. He seriously was about to cry. He has ALOT of pride, and just me second guessing what someone we don't even know with a fake myspace would say could be true, insulted him very greatly. I can see why... He said when that girl messaged him saying I was pregnant and not going to tell him, he brought it up to me, but he never once thought it was true. And he never brought it up again. He says I need to let it go and not have it affect us and that I shouldn't be questioning him for cheating after what some fictitious person said. After I calmed down, we just cuddled and the kind of love he showed me made me see that there would be no way he could ever do something to hurt me. Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Let it go. your upsetting him and yourself, this girl or whoever is getting the reaction she wants, shes made you both worry and almost argue over it. Delete it and ignore it, there are just some nasty people in the world. Link to comment
kaoticbaby Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 rose, i know plenty of girls who would immediately start freaking out if that happened to them. so good for you for keeping a cool head and not accusing him of things. she only has one friend and one picture? yeah that is fishy. that would immediately signal to me that it's just someone trying to mess with me. unless your boyfriend shows any other signs of losing interest in you, then i probably wouldn't worry about it. and, even if it *was* true, it could have been a) friendliness mistaken as flirtatiousness b) her stretching the truth c) him flirting, yeah, but only innocently since nothing happened listen to your gut Link to comment
Rose21 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 Yeah that's what we did. We changed our myspaces so only FRIENDS can message us. Meaning no more messages from random strangers trying to start things. And I deleted them all. It did get us upset, but then we just spent the rest of the time relaxing and cuddling saying how much we love eachother. Link to comment
odile Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I don't want to sound negative but why would some one go to the trouble of trying to break you guys up? You can't trust some one 100%, he might have done it, you never know. I hope that's not the case. I'm with Wila on this one. Sure, it definitely sounds like a fake profile, but maybe whoever did it just wanted you to have the facts without having to get mixed up in your business any more than what they deemed necessary. This other incident seems to take away from the impact: Come to think of it, there was a a friend of mine that got her myspace hacked and she sent a message to my boyfriend saying I was pregnant and wasnt going to tell him. BUUUUT, just the same-- I get the feeling that the content of the email wasn't fake. "Tiger" didn't write anything outlandish, and left enough clues that you could try to locate/contact her if you needed to. I wouldn't be surprised if what she said happened happened, but it doesn't sound like it was necessarily anything to be seriously worried about. If it did happen, then him talking to someone about "hanging out" could have been misinterpreted/read the wrong way by this person. HOWEVER, if I were you, I'd keep my eyes open. In fact, if there's a way to fix your settings so that you can hide your profile AND receive messages, I might choose that option... That way, if there's genuine information that you could do with hearing, it can reach you, and if it turns out to be some freak scammer, and they keep bugging you on there, then you'll be able to gather more evidence/clues with which to peg the weirdo. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 That's what confused me too. But the way he is, his love is genuine for me. There is no way he would ask another girl to hang out with him or get to know her better. It's just totaly not in character. He's very open with me, and he tells me everything that he does all the time. He doesn't party or drink. He would never cheat. That I know for certain. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 There would also be some signs too. He wouldn't flirt, he isn't that type to. He didn't even flirt with me when WE met, I had to do everything. I know, when I loose interest in a guy I may flirt even though I wouldn't do anything. I'm very flirty by nature though, sometimes I don't even realize I'm doing it, and sometimes I do send out mixed signals unintentionally. But he has showed no decline in interest in me. Nothing but unfailing love and commitment. There is no reason for me to suspect ANYTHING other then this message that this person I have no idea is sent. He never turns me down for sex, and his passion is always there in large quantities. If he getting flirty with someone else, there wouldn't be this much love. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 I don't want to turn into this paranoid girlfriend and start questioning everything he's doing when there is no need. I did that before when there was no need, and that brought nothing but pain. Then I got better, controlled my anxiety and am better now. Now when everyone is telling me it's no big deal and I should just let it go, you say there may be a possibility and keep my eyes out? I wont even see him for 2 weeks. I'm going to end up self sabtoging my own relationship and see things that arn't even there if that's the case! Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 If you believe him then stop worrying, you are feeding your OCD. Log off, this is making it worse... Link to comment
Rose21 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 I can't...Ugh this is making me sick. I feel nauseas. I have OCD and bad anxiety. I'm taking Lexapro which helps when I don't have a reason to worry, but when I see a message, ugh I just go cazy Link to comment
odile Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 If you "know for certain" that he loves you and would never do anything that you wouldn't approve of, then the myspace message means nothing, and you should really just ignore it. You'll make yourself sick obsessing over it otherwise. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 I would log off the net and relax some how. If you've spoken to your b/f about this and you believe him then you have no need to worry. Link to comment
BeStrongBeHappy Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 There are random nuts out there who go on strangers pages and post all kinds of nonsense to try to make trouble or hurt someone they don't even know just for kicks. I'd ignore it if there's no other proof. And i agree that you don't want to post enough information online for anyone to track you down. Lots of nuts out there.... Link to comment
annie24 Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 There are random nuts out there who go on strangers pages and post all kinds of nonsense to try to make trouble or hurt someone they don't even know just for kicks. yeah, definitely. i spend a lot of time on ENA just cleaning up crap like that! i think some people need to get real hobbies. Link to comment
Rose21 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 ~Sigh~ I know there are lots of nuts out there. And this isn't the first time this is happened. There's this incident, that other incident where I was messaging my friend when she got hacked and the hacker made her pregnant and made it seem like she had slept with TONS of men, and then for some reason messaged my boyfriend said I was pregnant and not going to tell him. She used my name and everything, and this was coming from an actual profile. and he treated it like it was nothing. And then before that my myspace got hacked, and they were posting bulletins saying I'd strip for money etc. Now I get this message. But this is the first message, thats actually been detailed enough to be believable although it still doesnt add up Link to comment
Rose21 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 My guy friend said it sounds really suspicious. Expec the last line. "Your not a naieve girl, make the right decision" xoxo. I mean whaat? Link to comment
_Asti_ Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 Rose, if you trust him..this is all irrelevant. The fact that you're going on and on about it shows insecurity. By saying these things over and over like "I know he wouldn't.." but then still going on almost makes me think you're trying to CONVINCE youreslf that he wouldn't. Thjat by saying it over and over is like you trying to tell yourself he wouldn't..and essentially don't trust him by trying to make yourself trust him. If you trusted him, you would have deleted that message and went about your day like normal. Your actions right now are contracting your words. Link to comment
Perfect Dark Posted March 22, 2009 Share Posted March 22, 2009 You know what it means! Link to comment
Rose21 Posted March 22, 2009 Author Share Posted March 22, 2009 Yes I do, and I did delete the messages. I do trust him, but I am also very insecure. I second guess EVERYTHING> I wish I could stop=( Link to comment
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