Can you stand to be apart?

[BronzedSkin123]

I've never been in love and never had a serious serious relationship so I may be a bit bitter..

 

but a lot of couples do everything together. Many don't do anything unless the other is there. They become like one person in many ways which is annoying to me

 

I've had a friend who was with her boyfriend all day long, they even went to school together, and never was apart for more than 10 minutes. The other would get extremely jealous if the other paid attention to a friend.

 

So don't you ever need a break or do you just like the comfort of someone just always being there at every waking moment?

[Mythical_Suicide]

Being together often is nice but it can also be a bad thing as you can easily tire of that person which causes conflict. When I have a chance I spend every waking moment with my fiance , however that doesn't happen very often as we both work alot and he lives 45 mins- 1 hour away.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I've never been in love and never had a serious serious relationship so I may be a bit bitter..

 

but a lot of couples do everything together. Many don't do anything unless the other is there. They become like one person in many ways which is annoying to me

 

I've had a friend who was with her boyfriend all day long, they even went to school together, and never was apart for more than 10 minutes. The other would get extremely jealous if the other paid attention to a friend.

 

So don't you ever need a break or do you just like the comfort of someone just always being there at every waking moment?

 

 

My parents are like that and it would drive me nuts if I was in a relationship like that. I need space to do my own thing. Sure you need to spend lots of time together, but I also think it is much healthier to spend time apart, to have different interests, so that you can come together later on and talk about your respective interests.

[Seraphim]

Everything should be in balance. Every person has a right to their own space in all senses. Some people REALLY enjoy being together all the time. Just the way they do it.

[Batya33]

I don't assume that people who like spending all their time together do so because they're in love - it could be out of insecurities, fear of being alone, boredom when alone, etc.

 

I like a balance so that we miss each other some, so that we experience things apart from each other and can share them when we're together again - I like that feeling of saving up stories to tell the other (my last one had to do with someone who worked in a bubble wrap factory, and for the first time I learned that people loved popping bubble wrap by jumping on it, not just by popping it with their fingers - fascinating ;-) but that's for another thread.....)

[Crazyaboutdogs]

I don't assume that people who like spending all their time together do so because they're in love - it could be out of insecurities, fear of being alone, boredom when alone, etc.

I like a balance so that we miss each other some, so that we experience things apart from each other and can share them when we're together again - I like that feeling of saving up stories to tell the other (my last one had to do with someone who worked in a bubble wrap factory, and for the first time I learned that people loved popping bubble wrap by jumping on it, not just by popping it with their fingers - fascinating ;-) but that's for another thread.....)

 

 

Exactly! I totally agree.

[CallingAllAngels]

I like the comfort. Unfortunately I am in a LDR so it's not possible.

[Seraphim]

I LOVE to be with my husband but I see him so seldom.

[Rose21]

The 1st 6 months that my boyfriend and I were going out we were ALWAYS together. Every night and every day. The only break we ever had from eachother was when we went to work and school. But I liked it, I never grew tired of him and I LOVED being with him.

 

Ever since school has started up again and college has begun we are in a semi long distance relationship. He still goes to school in my state, but he's 5 hrs away and I can't drive.

 

I see him one weekend a month, and then on holidays such as Thanksgiving (week) X-mas (month) Spring Break (2 weeks) and Summer (3.5 months) We see eachother every day and night. The most we will ever be apart is 5 weeks, and the rest of this semester it wont be more then 2. And in about 16 months, I will transfer to his school and finish it out with him until I get my Master's and we plan to move in together.

 

Of course there are times where I miss him terribly, but I also realize that the max we would be apart is 5 weeks, and compared to alot of people in LDRS, that's nothing. A piece of cake. I guess I have become stronger though, because when we saw eachother all the time, even being away from him for like 7-8 hrs while he was at work was really hard for me. And a day was impossible!

 

But now, with work and school I feel that the weeks fly by and it gives me a chance to be more independent. I can focus more on school work, friends, etc.

 

And then when I do see him, we don't fight, we don't have stupid little arguments over who left the tooth paste out and we can be in a state of rapture and bliss and truly appreciate the relationship twice as much.

 

So it has its ups and downs. I never thought I'd be able to do it, but I am and am doing fine. So it all depends! lol.

[JeckyllNHyde]

I've never been in love and never had a serious serious relationship so I may be a bit bitter..

 

but a lot of couples do everything together. Many don't do anything unless the other is there. They become like one person in many ways which is annoying to me

 

I've had a friend who was with her boyfriend all day long, they even went to school together, and never was apart for more than 10 minutes. The other would get extremely jealous if the other paid attention to a friend.

 

So don't you ever need a break or do you just like the comfort of someone just always being there at every waking moment?

 

i can stand to be apart. actually, i have no choice haha. he works during the day, i stay home or go to school in the morning. in the afternoons i go to the gym alone, etc..

i sometimes feel like a few hours a day isn't enough for me (about 2). i wish we could spend more time together.. but then again if we where spending every minute together i may get bored.

sometimes i also wish he could go more places with me. the bad thing about being in a relationship is that over time u get used to going places together (errands, outings, hanging out and watching tv). i love it though.

[JadedStar]

I've never been in love and never had a serious serious relationship so I may be a bit bitter..

 

but a lot of couples do everything together. Many don't do anything unless the other is there. They become like one person in many ways which is annoying to me

 

I've had a friend who was with her boyfriend all day long, they even went to school together, and never was apart for more than 10 minutes. The other would get extremely jealous if the other paid attention to a friend.

 

So don't you ever need a break or do you just like the comfort of someone just always being there at every waking moment?

 

 

I would find that very boring and mundane.

 

Part of loving someone else is loving yourself. There are always going to be at least one or two things that a person enjoys that their partner might not be gun ho about. It is healthy to not give those things up to be with a partner 24/7 but rather enjoy them anyway while he/she enjoys their thing.

 

I think i'd go stark raving mad if i spent no less than ten mins with my SO at any given time. I also think that people with this mindset burn out quicker and are more clingy and insecure than they are in love.

 

Loving is letting go and if you can't let your SO out of your site i question whether it is love or obsession.

[bijoux27]

My BF and I are semi-long distance....we see each other once or twice a week but it takes about an hour to meet up since we live in different ends of the city. When we don't see each other we speak on MSN or occasionally on the phone (had my phone taken away from me-if I had it, it would be better for us)...anyhow....if I am busy and have things to do then I can stand to be apart from him. I like to touch base at least once a day but if we are away somewhere then two or three days is understandable. If I have nothing to do though, then I feel empty if I don't talk to him for a couple days

[JeckyllNHyde]

yea i agree.

if i spend TOO much time with my bf only, slowly i become a bit.. hmm unsocial to begin with. i tend to get clingy too. not a good path to go down. and luckily we have our own friends or family we hang out with.

 

so far it hasn't ever gotten boring though, but i guess that's b/c we don't live together. if we sa each other ALL DAY.. yea, i would definitly be looking for ways to do more stuff alone.

[JadedStar]

When i was younger i had a hard time believing this concept....as i matured and became confident having some space just seemed the only sane thing for me.

[BronzedSkin123]

i can stand to be apart. actually, i have no choice haha. he works during the day, i stay home or go to school in the morning. in the afternoons i go to the gym alone, etc..

i sometimes feel like a few hours a day isn't enough for me (about 2). i wish we could spend more time together.. but then again if we where spending every minute together i may get bored.

sometimes i also wish he could go more places with me. the bad thing about being in a relationship is that over time u get used to going places together (errands, outings, hanging out and watching tv). i love it though.

yeah, like i don't even look at couples as separate people really since they are always together. i look at them as one person which is not a good thing in my eyes. i haven't had any good experiences with them, they seem so attached and self absorbed to me

[_Asti_]

Spending every moment with my boyfriend is not possible. We went through a period of a few months like that, and we both we're like "Um no, let's stop.." I am independent, as is he. We enjoy our own separate worlds as much as the one we've created together. Its something we value and something that has done wonders for us.

 

I couldn't handle it, being wtih them 24/7. And find it highly annoying when other people cannot remove themselves from their partners side to spend one evening a month with you.

[Montrell274]

I'm currently dealing with being apart from my gf. She's in North Carolina and I'm in Mississippi. She's not taking classes this semester, and we just started dating in July. It's kinda rough waiting for her till January.

[CallingAllAngels]

My BF is in Florida and I'm in NY. I can't stand being away from him.

[tangi39]

It's a matter of taste.

 

For a lot of people, it's easy to say "You won't be like that" etc.- Until you find the one. That was the case with me. My husband really is my best friend. We do stuff separately too, of course- Even when at a party together-we're not glued at the hip by any means. It's not due to insecurity it's because I really do prefer his company to anyone else's.

And we both have the most fun when it's just the two of us.

We spend the majority of our time together. But we love every second of it.

Of course, we don't smother each other either. But some people don't understand that distinction.

 

On the flip side, I see some people who spend SO much time apart, I wonder why they even bother.