spartacus02 Posted August 4, 2008 Share Posted August 4, 2008 I have a problem with a messy wife. We have been together for a while and lived together before we got married. I knew she was messy and she has been that way since we first lived together. I love her very much and she is a wonderful person, but she just can't seem to be responsible with helping me out around the house. I am by no means a neat freak, but I do try to keep things picked up. I have tried to confront her about it in a multitude of ways. I admit that I have been angry about it with her too often, but I have even tried to talk openly with her. The problem is that she is very defensive about this particular subject. She is the baby and has always been accused of being irresponsible (often unjustly and in a mean way), by her siblings and parents, so it is obviously a sore subject. She is responsible in most other ways, ie money, work, etc. , but she does things like leave food out, not help with household chores, hold me responsible we she looses things around the house, etc. She is convinced that she is helpful and responsible about household stuff but I basically do everything. I am not sure what to do about it anymore. I am very frustrated and tired of playing maid and personal assistant. She has even admitted on a couple of occasions that she needs to work on that, but nothing is done. What can I do to help her or motivate her to understand that this is affecting our relationship? I have thought about writing her a letter instead of sitting down to talk with her again, as I have done a ton of times. I figured a letter would be a little less aggressive and could open up a better line of communication on the subject after she can process what I have to say. Any better advice? Link to comment
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