Sli

Here's a quick checklist with a few of the basics. You've almost certainly heard it all before but are you doing everything you can to help yourself? … Stop all contact, direct or indirect with the ex (your ex is like a drug you are obsessing over, you had your last fix only 2 weeks ago) Eat healthily especially bananas, chicken or anything containing Tryptophan (a feel happy nutrient, check it on the net) Excersise a lot – major short cut to healing Cut down on alcohol Don't smoke (anything) Help people – (charity work etc) Pursue or revisit interests – do things you're good at Spend time with family and friends Look up old friends on the net etc Get a new image - new haircut, go shopping etc Change your surroundings – change your place around or even move Destroy or remove out of sight any memory triggers (photo's etc) Cry when you feel like it Spoil yourself a lot Doing the above will speed recovery time, help you move on and should reduce the amount you miss your ex …however as with physical injuries, healing times can vary. Scars often do still remain and relapses may occur but after a while we learn to live with them. In the same way a broken bone may heal stronger, to make it through the pain of losing someone you love and feel better often makes you feel stronger and wiser. …sorry if this is a bit simplistic, but it's amazing how much difference the details make. Remember you had a life before she existed to you, there's no reason to believe you can't have a better life after her. Good luck

Well that's like asking... should I just say no if someone offers me a cigarette? To which the answer would be, it depends if you want to live a long and healthy life or not. In the same way the answer to your question is, it depends if you want to move on and find a happier way of life or not. Smoking was killing you and she is not making you happy , those are the facts. I know this can be a very nostalgic time of year but if you help yourself and make a new year's resolution to let go of the past and start next year with a positive attitude then I'm sure you'll find everything you're looking for.

There's more to life than relationships. Your head is telling you to take time out, so take it. You're not ready to get back into the 'dating pool' and you keep going back to the past and contacting the ex every month or so. It takes a lot longer than a month for the feelings to fade and they will never fade if you keep stoking them. You are not letting go of your ex and that is why no-one else is floating your boat right now. So just concentrate on you instead and fill your life/"the hole" up with load'sa other stuff you're interested in. When the time is right, when you're not looking or rather when you're looking forwards not back at the past, she'll turn up.

Let me get this straight...So like this guy randomly pushes you outta the car at 70mph, you pick yourself up off the freeway, dust yourself down and walk to the nearest gas station which takes you 3 weeks, where you catch a taxi home right? So what happens next? I’m guessing you get in your own car and drive around a bit and it feels good cuz now you’re in control, when all of a sudden he’s there in the rear view mirror flashin you to pull over, but now you know he’s some kind of nut and you’re not gonna pull over for some head case so instead you run him off the road! Nice! Keep on truckin I say, the roads clear up ahead and it’ll take you wherever you want to go…

lol! Yes.. but only 'missionary' with the lights out! Oh and keep the noise down!

Just to also clarify my input or position with regards to this post… 1. In the absense of any real details about how any rumour was spread or the extent of the alleged ‘ bragging’ apart from hearsay from a friend of a friend… I do concede that if any person, male or female loudly brags about sleeping with or ‘nailing’ another person to that other person’s group of friends or colleagues with the intent to cause maximum embarrassment to that other person and with complete disregard for any perceived understanding of intimacy they had shared…Then yes that is not a very nice person to be getting intimate with to say the least. 2. If the poster had made it completely clear to her ex boyfriend that they no longer had a relationship and it was over, she owes him nothing, she is a free agent and can do as she pleases. If sleeping with another man a day after ending their relationship causes her ex boyfriend additional pain or angst, that is not really her problem, she has broken their bond and agreement to be exclusive and no longer owes him any respect with regard to her fidelity. The only thing he can do is take it on the chin and chose his partner more carefully in future. 3. By the same token and with regard to this sexual liaison, no relationship was entered into, no agreements were made beforehand, this was a physical act undertaken with no prior knowledge of the other’s character whatsoever and so with regard to respect for confidentiality it is the ideal but is not owed. The man in question is free to discuss his sex life with whomever he chooses. The only thing that she can do is take it on the chin and choose her sexual partners more carefully in future. 4. I do strongly object to the labelling and name calling that some people have used within this post when jumping to wild conclusions about this mans actions based on virtually no facts. To immediately start throwing sexist adjectives about describing this man as a ‘Cad’, ‘Neanderthal’, ‘Pig’, ‘jerk’ or ‘unevolved’ is a gross assumption in my book and shows an acute inability to construct any kind of intellectual debate. This is like a man coming on this board and immediately labelling the poster, as she herself put it a “big drunk s***”, when in fact all she has done is have consensual sex. This kind of sexist name calling or labelling is offensive. At the end of the day this is not a life or death issue and as many have said, it will soon be yesterday’s news but people must accept the consequences of their actions, to do otherwise is extremely naïve. I’m just glad she’s ok, after all there are many more potentially disastrous outcomes linked with one night stands that are far more serious than having to put up with some temporary embarrassment, loss of social standing or a dent to the ego.

Sounds like more assumptions I’m afraid, we have no details of what was said or the extent of the “bragging” that took place, just some gossip from a friend of a friend. Look I’ve done some pretty wild things on the spur of the moment in my time so I’m not judging anyone here (or being reduced to name calling), but on the question of respect or disrespect I have to agree with Vert, I was always taught that respect is something that should be earned. Now I’m not saying she did anything wrong, either worthy or not worthy of respect…However they’d known each other for 5 minutes, he owed her nothing. Like I said it is up to her to look after her reputation - not his responsibility

If women are no longer concerned with portraying a ‘snow white’ image surely there should be no issue here and the poster should thereforeeee not worry whether she is going to be labeled a “big drunk s***” or not, since she has done nothing to be ashamed of. I do think it is rather contradictory to assume this man is a ‘cad’ or ‘Neanderthal’ since he has done nothing to be ashamed of either! In fact with regard to equality it should be perfectly reasonable for this man to be discussing what he got up to at the weekend with his mates. I don’t think that makes him any less ‘evolved’. In fact quite the contrary, I think that makes him particularly well adjusted to the values and morals which make up today’s society where one night stands are common place and no big deal…men talk about this stuff and women do too (take a look at any episode of Sex and the City) At the end of the day it was consensual sex between two adults, they both made a choice. So why should he have to be ashamed or hide anything? …It is not up to him (in old fashioned terminology) to preserve the honour and chastity of a girl he just met…sorry but you can’t have it both ways…if you can’t take the shame, don’t play the game! combat_barbie… It doesn’t sound like you are really a one night stand type of person, I’m not either and if I have made a connection with someone, one close enough to sleep with them then I definitely would want to do it again! I guess some people can be more emotionally detached than others.

Bananas might stop you going even more bananas!.... Check out this link.. link removed Take care Sli

In a word...Yes Just look at how you are talking now, and that's only after 1 month!... NOW you're noticing the guys hey Angel! ha ha, They've been checkin you out all along you just didn't see it before babe! Stay on this path LostAngel and you'll soon be droppin the 'Lost'. Take care Sli

Good job Angel! Now drag yourself away from that grapevine and go out and have some fun! There's only one person's life you're wastin wandering what he's up to. It's the weekend! Get your best stuff on and party! Then you can really give people something to gossip about! you're worth it! Take care Sli

Hi again LostAngel, when are you gonna come back with a happy ending huh!? I've replied on your other posts, not much changed then really. Are you surprised? Come on girl! When are you gonna shake yourself out of this rut? At some point you've got to change this, you have lost all your self respect, you have no self esteem, no self confidence, you're still clinging to him desperately and he's unsurprisingly having none of it. If you have no respect for yourself, how can you expect anyone else to respect you? And he can't love you if he doesn't respect you. I know what it's like to try and cling on to something that is so important to you and keep making the same mistakes over and over, it's a different story when your stuck in the middle of a situation… 'Can't see the wood for the trees' and all that, but this situation will end up driving you nuts, ever heard this… "Definitaion of Insanity: Doing the same things over and over again and expecting a different result" Try doing something different LostAngel, what've you got to lose? That's it! Had some lyrics goin round my head and I could'nt think what they were…it's that U2" song 'stuck in a momen't, particularly this bit… "You've got to get yourself together You've got stuck in a moment And now you can't get out of it Don't say that later will be better Now you're stuck in a moment And you can't get out of it" Take care u Sli

Hey Yoyo If you've already kissed her, how'd it go dude? If not don't worry… if you're a bit nervous that just adds to the magic of the whole thing. Just remember it takes 2 to kiss. She's not a judge in some kissing contest and she's not gonna be holding up score cards after you've finished, she's probably just as nervous as you are. Just take it slow and build up to it, you could start by just kissin her on the lips a few times and see how that goes before you go for the full on passionate snog. Just let it happen, don't force anything and don't immediately stick your tongue in there and start swirlin it round like a washing machine on spin cycle ok. And yeah try not to think too much...good advise ShySoul!...Spoken like a guy who really knows what he's talking about! …so come on dish it… you sly old fox! How's it going with your 1st ever potential girlfriend, last thing I heard you'd never kissed a girl before…things must be hottin up yeah!? Sli

ShySoul wrote... ShySoul also wrote... As you can see, I didn't assume you new nothing about pregnancy… you said it (above)! I also didn't assume that guys in general know nothing about pregnancy this is not my logic it is yours......me thinks you have waffled so much you are now forgetting what you are talking about! Well I gotta say this seems to have ceased being a debate, now more of a, 'commentary on ShySoul's love life' …a little self indulgent don't you think!? In any case, you are still young and obviously have lots to learn but I do mean it sincerely when I say I do hope you get the girl and I hope life's lessons are kind to you. Take care Sli

Mysticaleyes wrote.. That's exactly the response you'll get every time ShySoul...'awwww', you'll be a nice and sweet guy for the rest of your life, but if you wanna get any further than friends with women at some point a girl is gonna have to think you're 'HOT'...That's not happened for you yet has it. But hey nothin wrong with 'nice' and 'sweet' (by the way I thought the origami stars idea was particularly sweet...'Awwww'!) Now a couple of other points... At this point you know as much about pregnancy as you do about dating…you've no experience of either. Duh..Yeah that's the whole point, talk is cheap, please go prove it! Funny guy... now I know you're on a wind up Before you attempt to revolutionize the world of dating don't you think you better start with your own little world and see how that goes…yep, funny guy Go on then, what you rambling on here for? Right now you are just repeating the same old theories over and over and contradicting a few (like before no games…now you've got to BE the game!) just for the sake of it. Like everyone has said before there is nothing more you can add because there is no new evidence. Dude you just don't know when to stop Yep..defo agree with that….Your ego seems to have inflated to the size of a small building, and it is definitely time, it was about 15 pages ago! So go on then and practice what you preach (and preach and preach), Meanwhile we can all have a discussion about what happens in the real world. N.B. Everyone else….Sorry guys since ShySoul's ego has clearly taken over here, I know this post will probably secure at least another 3 pages of incessant rambling…but hey it's fun...wind him up...and watch him goooo!