forumjunkie

I didn't mean that she should get angry at the ex it was more of a metaphor. I simply meant to not play any games and say exactly how you feel

this guy elusivejc is right. The other advice is ridculous. silly games about little smiles and eye contact is pathetic please don't live your life like that you will grow up into an awful awful person. You're 15 for christs sake go and talk to the boy be shy and nervous it's ok it's going to continue to happen your entire life. Sometimes you'll be nervous other times not. Go talk to him because also you gonna need plenty of practice for the future. Go and talk to him and be prepared for everything to go completely and utterly wrong Yes I'm sorry you may come away looking stupid but then what the hell? who cares it's going to happen a lot and at some point you'll look back and be glad that you did it because you got it out the way when you so young. There is no shame in being shy or nervous it's another part of the social spectrum just as important as being confident or being nice this goes for elusivejc as well.

Sorry one last point - it's probably a good thing that you don't want to watch the TV show any more read a book instead - I suggest a book by Dave Eggers called a heartbreaking work of staggering genius.

I'm not going to go "Drugs are bad", but i've taken my fair share of drugs (pot, coke, ex etc etc) but remember that you are 16, and you are young and still growing metally as well as physically, and taking drugs that effects your mind is a really bad idea. get through school first, collage/uni is the place to waste your life! I recently stopped smoking pot becasue i'm on anti-depressents and smoking lowers your seratonin (the stuff that makes you happy). I havent lost friends over it: in fact I really enjoy sitting around with a bunch of stoned people laughing with them.

Firstly, what drugs were offered. Secondly, how much beer did you drink? Thirdly, was it keg or can/bottle? Fourth, did you see it being poured? Fith, have you drunk beer before? Sixth, were you both clothed when you woke up?

Firstly, if it is a cheesy old romantic film being played, then great! it would be very easy for me to spend vast sums of money on taking girls out, but most of the time I go for simple things, never underestimate the value of a moonlight walk in a park. Secondly: also on the same note, spending vast sums of money on tat like a bear that blushes just says to her that "I remembered it was valentines so I went down to a shop and got you a gift" ( or perhaps I am far too snooty) . A hand made card, a single dark chocolate truffle in a nice box with a bow, a single red rose (for the cheese effect!) at the end of the date - and you're sorted! In my opinion, romantic beats tat any day.

I think that it may be slightly too much going for a cheesy note and flowers when you've been going out for less than a week. I would probably go for something less profound - dont mention love. How about something simple like: flowers my flower? or I'm sorry I got you flowers, they'll faint in embaracement when they see your beauty.

The best thing to do to win friends is put yourself out there, and the only way you can ever be comfortable in doing so is to realise that if you are closed and nervous in your body language then people will automatically feel closed and nervous with you- it doesnt matter if you dont click with someone you talk to, because if you dont, you will never talk again, no loss. This is my full proof plan to win friends quickly if you dont have a group, without much hassle: When talking to someone you don't know for the first time always shake hands, and tell them your name. They will naturally shake hands and tell them their name, and what you will notice is that they will imidiatly warm to you. Secondly, remember their name. I had a real difficulty with this, but I have developed a method for doing so: attribute an animal with the same starting letter as their name (it also acts as a nice conversation later). When you talk to people look at them, and do the same when they are talking, people become instinctivly paranoid when you dont look at them when they talk, and conversation will dry up. When/if you meet the person again, remember the animal, and say "hi [], its [], we met []" and if you extend your hand again, the person will shake, immidiatly say "hi []", and if they are in a group you will immidiatly be part of it when you introduce yourself because the one person you met already will be "warm" to you and the group will seem relaxed with you there.

The main thing to do when facing fears is to try to rationalise your irational behavior! I spent 10 years in boarding school, and was homesick only when I was alone and had no-one to talk to. The thing you have to ask yourself is "Why am I homesick?", because if you think about it, there is really no need to be. When you are at home, you sleep in your own bedroom by yourself, and for 8 hours, you are asleep. Which means for you there would be only about 2 hours of being awake in which to be homesick. If you are homesick because you are away from your parents, think to yourself "how much time would I spend with my parents if I were at home?" When I was 16 I mumbled a few words at the dinner table and said goodnight to rush off to play on my computer. If you are worried about "creature comforts" such as a shower in the morning or other such things (It took me years to getting used to going to the loo at school) then I would suggest that you try sleeping over, and your parents picking you up first thing. I remember one of my friends was homesick because he didnt feel safe sleeping in a dorm. There is nothing you can do about that other than just "getting over it" because why you be less safe sleeping there than at home? I don't know if this was any help, but what I do suggest is that you think about the reasons why you are homesick and post them here, or at least think about it rationally, as with most things in life it gets easier the more you do it. Bob

[Long time reader, first time poster] For the past two years I have had severe depression spanning from something that happened to me. I got a call from a friend of my ex saying that she was pregnant. She had an abortion. I then spent a year at university hiding, not answering my phone, waking at night and going to bed in the morning. unfortunately, dispite my impressive ostrich impression it all came tumbling down when I was forced to confrount the univeristy to explain why I had missed my exams. I went to see a doctor who put me on some tablets, then went off to find somewhere else to study. The strange thing is I'm naturally funny, and people are automatically drawn to my bubbly personality, and for that reason I have many friends, and even more who know me by name (I cant walk anywhere without someone coming over to talk to me). However, I am still sad inside, dispite taking tablets and talking to a counceller. when I'm on my own I listen to sad music and cry. When I'm talking to my friends I'm still unhappy. I have a job that pays well, a lovely girlfriend, great friends who I trust, great parents and sister who loves me to pieces. However, I always carry a guilt that a child was killed (before then I was neither pro choice nor anti, but there has been a steadily growing concern in my head that I was to blame for the death of this "child" - which I cant explain to myself let alone to you) Why do I have this guilt?, seeing that I am a man (it was her decision), we always used contraception, and we had broken up. Why do I feel empty inside? Thanks for any comments.