rivergirl

Update! Well he called tonight. Weird. Anyway I told him and he was excited and said we'll have to go out to dinner and hang out. So hey, it worked out for the best. And maybe hopefully I will make myself a "new" friend!

Thanks for the suggestion. I really am worried about the idea he might get that I'm doing it just to be closer. But I'm not and if I were to do that I could get a heck of a lot closer then that for sure. So I really want to make sure that I get the point accross that they contacted me for the job and I just couldn't pass it up. Any other advice from others is welcome to as this is for some reason very confusing to me...

Hello, My bf and I broke up almost 5 months ago. We talked a little at the beggining but now have not spoken in a month and 1/2. Anyway he lives about 13 hours away from me, part of the reason we broke up. So out of nowhere this month I got a job offer in a town 2 hours from him. I took it because it was too good to pass up. But I feel really weird about being so close. Considering that he's making no effort to even contact me lately I wonder if I should even tell him. We had promised we were going to remain friends and I'm feeling okay about the breakup now and would love to hang out with him as friends. And I would be lieing if I didn't add that I would be interested to see what happened when we were together. As our breakup really had not much to do with "us". Anyway what do you all think out there.... Should I call, e-mail, or just leave it alone??? Thanks!!!

I have a question for everyone. My boyfriend and I broke up an 8 month relationship after a month of long distance. He just wasn't " in to" the relationship anymore. He felt we'd grown apart. I blame it all on the distance. So it has been almost 2 months, we've had limited contact most initiated by him. I've not done any begging or pleading. Now what????? It's really hard to figure out how I might restart our friendship. There is no chance of us running in to each other when out on the town. No friends to tell drunkenly that you want the other back. What do I do? Any suggestions on how to move forward with friendship... hopefully onto love again. But at least friends... Help me please....

Well today is a new day and I feel great. We had a nice chat last night. And we were both genuinely excited to talk. Maybe I'm just being idealistic but if I can't have him as my significant other I would love him as my friend. So I actually feel great about calling him and having him ring back. He said it was great to talk to me and I believe him. I have no false expectations out of this. I of course want him back but I know us calling each other is only the result of the fact that we were inseperable the whole time we were together and saying goodbye to that is hard. Hopefully we never will not talk to each other. We both have big changes in our lives right now that wouldn't probably be happening if we were together. We both need to grow up a bit. And who knows what the future holds, right?

Well he called me. He called tonight for a very brief chat. He was on his way out for the night. I told him lots of very exciting things that are going on right now in my life. He was very pleased with all of them. We live very far apart but he knows my family and friends here. He's worked with a lot of my friends, and spent some very important moments with my family. He told me to please tell everyone he knew hello for him and he hoped they were all well and that it was great to talk to me again. AHHHHHH!!!!!! Why does he have to be so gosh darn nice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Wouldn't it be great sometimes if they could just be complete dicks to us! It would almost make life easier. I had recovered from him not returning my call and was feeling pretty darn good. Then of course he calls and I feel bad again. I just wish things would have worked out. Oh well. I think I'll go cry for awhile. And all from a very nice polite phone call.

Hey, I'm just wondering if all you wonderful males out there could answer some questions. Girls feel free too. Why in the heck to guys break up with girls that they supposodly still like??? Or do they? Is there such a thing as a guy just not being ready even if the girl is what he wants? Is there ever truth in the " I just can't have a girlfriend right now" line? I know I've heard, and I'm sure others have too, guys talk about "the one that got away". Does this really happen? Do guys really break up for reasons other then they don't desire a girl anymore? I just wonder. I'm sure you can figure this is what my guy did to me. I'm feeling okay about it now. I just wonder if every word he said was a load of s**t. What do you all think?!?!?!

Okay so I have been feeling really good about the no contact deal. Then I started to question it. Bad idea. I though jeez he has been the one calling. And I thought maybe it was a mistake. He had called on Valentine's Day but I missed his call. He then called the next night just to make sure he got a hold of me. We had a nice talk. I hadn't called back until... Fast forward to this weekend and I start thinking I should call. For all I know Valentine's Day was his attempt to extend a friendly hand or more. He might have taken my not calling to mean I didn't care or hated him or who knows. So I called!!! WHY?!?! I don't know now. He didn't answer so I left him a voice mail. Told him I might call back later. I called back the next night to his house but no one answered. I didn't leave a message and did not try to call tonight. But jeez where i thought it might make me feel better to attempt a communication. Now I'm just sitting around feeling really cruddy that he's not calling back. I really expected he would call back. Our relationship really ended on a not so horrible note. No begging pleading or screaming. Now I don't know what to do. Call again later this week?? I have made some really big life decisions lately that I know he will be really happy/proud to hear about. And I did say I'd call back later... AHHHH!!!!! What to do??? So anyway if your questioning whether to call or not. DON'T!!!!! You might end up like me!!! Be careful!!!!

Hey Everyone! I just thought I might ask a question... What do you all do to get your ex out of your head?? I for one have a horse and I would say my time with her during the day is the most time I spend not thinking, rethinking, and rethinking again every little detail of every bit of my ex and I. I'm also going back to school and that should push him out even more. So I just wonder if you all have any hints of something you do when the schemes and dreams take over... Just thought it might help people out to have new ideas on how others deal with the constant barrage of thoughts.... Thanks!

GeeCee, No contact does get easier, then it gets harder, then easier and so on. I am working my way up on month two. I did break down and return a call one night because I just couldn't justify not calling if he wanted to extend himself. But other then that I have left the calling up to him. I'll probably give him a ring sometime soon. None of our conversations thus far have involved our break up and I know that I can keep it a light fun talk. We didn't have a yelling, screaming, cursing, hateful, cheating, lieing, break up. So really there is no ill will between us. We just grew apart due to distance and he didn't know how to deal with that and wasn't willing to try. Anyway I think as long as your break up is amicable and you can stay away from the topic of "us" then why not. Just don't call for no reason though. Make sure you have something exciting and fun lined up to tell them about. Otherwise be ready for uncomfortable pauses and more chances to fall back on what you really want to talk about. Why they ditched you... Anyway you can do no contact, the longer the easier. But don't deny yourself a friendship...

I don't know why people end seemingly loving relationships. I've recently dealt with a very confusing end to a relationship. The ultimate reason for it being I believe lack of communication. We had an amazing, fun, wonderful relationship together until we had to turn it into long distance. We were always extremely close but when it came to only being able to communicate over the phone it all went downhill. He had to deal with the death of a close friend and I think our inability to express our feelings over the phone pushed him away during that time. When I went to visit soon after he just stated his feelings for me weren't the same anymore. He also said he thought I felt the same way. I didn't. But I can't help but think if I had been able to let him know how much I cared through the distance we might have had a chance. He is also living in an area where there is a lot of pressure to party, drink, get crazy (resort town) and I think that made him have mixed feelings of his commitment to me. He wasn't ready to give up his wild life. Especially when I wasn't even there. It's been a really rough break up as I was completely in love and wanted a future with him. I still of course, like all of us, hold out hope that he may realize his "true" feelings and we could consider a reconciliation. The other long term break ups that I have personally experienced or seen happen to others usually have to do with another person coming into the picture. Bad news. I'm glad to not have that happen to me as it was how my parents split as well as my first love. Very heartbreaking. So although I don't completely understand people's reasoning for ending long term loves I do see communication break down and the "other" person as the most common cause.

Thanks for the advice. I know if I can just stick it out he'll call soon. Sometimes it is just so hard. I just want to call and have things be just like they were. Hopefully that will happen!!! I just have to be paitent. So far I feel pretty good. I'm proud of having not done and begging or pleading. I made it clear I wasn't pleased with the break but accepted it. Hopefully I will be the poster child for no contact... Thanks Again!!

Okay I'm at the breaking point!!! I want to call or write or something. I miss my ex soooo soooo soooo much! He was my best friend. We've been apart for a little over a month, and it's killing me. We've talked three times, all his calls. Well, one returned call by me. Now the feelings of maybe I should call are creeping up. I mean he has called me. Last on Valentine's Day when I wasn't home. So he called back the next day to get a hold of me. We did not have a horrible icky break up. We are supposed to be "friends" now. But of course I want more then friends!!!! And he knows that. I made it clear. I've never done the begging pleading thing though. It was a very easy break up. I cried a little and that was it. We now live in different states and never see each other or hear from others about each other. I just wonder if inadvertently I am pushing him away by never calling. But also in the past if I call and he's "busy" he has a very hard time transitioning to the telephone so I don't want to call and have an akward conversation. Ahhhhh I'm going nuts!!! I know you all know how I feel! I'd love any advice from you guys and any support you wish to offer. Thanks for any thoughts!!!

We've talked all the times he's called. He missed me on Valentine's Day so he called back the next day. I answered the phone the other time and once I actually did return his call. All the conversations have been very lighthearted and pleasent. No emotional talk. He could never handle that. Probably even if he was dieing to say he wanted me back he couldn't say it! I just don't know now if it's time for me to take a little initiative or if it's still up to him...

Okay so I've read the no contact rules but here is my question. How many phone calls from them before it's your "turn" to try to call? I mean if they are putting in all the effort isn't there the chance that eventually they'll say hmmm maybe my ex doesn't want to talk to me... Because I wouldn't want to push away. I've done a month of no calling and have received 3 calls. Should I call sometime.... or should I just keep up this no contact.... Any answers appreciated. This was a great relationship and I 'd really love to salvage what I can. Even just a friendship. Although I really truly feel there is more in store for us. Thanks!!!