mr_ripley

If nothing is worth living for then surely it isn't worth dying for either? Take it from someone who attempted suicide when in his late teens, nothing is worth dying for. We all go through bad patches and usually when we come out the other side we are stronger and generaly better people. Trust me, this time will pass.

Perhaps she does indeed want back with you but feels you have rejected her. If she does feel rejected then she could easily tell her friend to make it known to you that she was merely playing around.

Thanks a lot guys. I appreciate the input. I think it really is time to let this one go and run like a little doggie. Thanks again -Tom

Good luck!!! Let us know how you get on.

I think it's pretty obvious that the girl does have some serious mental health problems. Couple this with her drinking habits and we have a very sick girl indeed. I've had some problems with drink and drugs myself in the past so I know what it can be like. I have a feeling that she is currently feeling worthless. In feeling worthless she will make herself worthless and reject everything thats good in her life, unfortunately, your one of those things. Thats just my take on it, but it does sound like it might be the reason for your breakup. If this girl seeks counceling and gets her head on the straight and narrow then maybe you & her have a future together. Whatever you do though, don't contact her yet. Give her time. Best of luck -Tom

Let me just say that jujigatame's advice is pure solid gold. It's true, women simply do not want the perfect man, no matter how much they may talk about it. This is something I've only recently learned (and I'm 29 for Gawds sake ). Make yourself less available to this girl. If you just let her do the chasing for a while I have a sneaky suspicion that this might just work out for you. Best of luck. -Tom

First os all letme say how much I admire you. I admire anyone who is willing to come out and say what they feel. You took a gamble and it didn't pay off, that my friend is unfortunate. Dont't what ever you do - feel ugly. To combat this you shouldmaybe go out and buy some new clothes, get a nice haircut and hit the town. Just try and feel good about yourself. Remember, there is someone out there for everyone. All the best -Tom

OK, where to begin. It's a long, sometimes stupid story so please bare with me. Last month (August 1'st) I met the women of my dreams. She was working as a bar manager in a local pub. Now, I'm not a great drinker so I have very little reason to visit pubs, local or otherwise. But for some unknown reason I decided to take a jaunt down my local for a bottle of bud and a chat with some of the locals. Anyway, as soon as I walk in the door I see her, she see's me - there is an instant connection. For most of the night we look over at each other and smile, we quite litteraly can't take our eyes of each other. I also noticed that she was dropping a lot of glasses on the floor and giving people wrong change. She would later admit that she was flustered because I was in the room. As the pub was closing she came over to talk to me, we had a nice chat and drink or two. The next day it got back to me through a mutual friend that she had been asking about me, she even gave said friend a t-shirt to give to me as a little present (sounkinda corny, but nice). I enquire about her age, availability etc. Tirns out she is 42, 13 years older than me, although looking at her you wouldn't believe it. She looks closer to 32. The next day I buy some new clothes, get a haircut, doll myself up and head round to the pub, knowing that she will be there. Once again, we simply cannot take our eyes off each other. I plan to ask her out but unfortunately end up a bit drunker than I had originaly planned and decide to leave it. The next day though, I head for the pub and ask her out. She tells me that she would really love to go out with me but can't as she is leaving for home in a few days and doesn't have any time off. Turns out she stays 200 miles away, something I didn't know. I leave the bar somewhat deflated. However, I have this feeling, a feeling that I haven't really had before. A feeling of destiny perhaps, fate maybe, I dunno. So the very next day after I've finished work I head for the pub yet again, a single red rose in hand. We talk for a few hours and over the course of the conversation I discover that she is in a relationship. However, the person she is in a relationship with is in prison for fraud.Turns out this guy is a professional conman. Not only that but she had met him when he walked from a low-security prison, to put it simply - he was on the run. She only knew him for 2 weeks when the police caught him yet she promised that she would wait for him in spite of his past crimes. He has promised her that he has changed, that he loves her and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her - she believes him. Needless to say, after hearing this I feel deflated, hopefull and scared. What kind of person promises themsleves to a known conman? Perhaps I should have ran then but I still had this feeling. So...the very next night I visit the pub yet again. I tell her that she is making a mistake, she should leave this guy behind her and be with me, we both know there is a special connection between us, etc. She says she can't. We hug, we kiss, we exchange phone-numbers, she leaves for home. I feel like sh*t. The next day I send flowers (red roses) to her home address. She calls me telling me how sweet it was of me to do such a thing, etc. So over the course of the next week we talk every day over the phone, send each other text messages. Out of the blue she tells me that contact with me has to stop, she is betraying her partner by keeping in contact with me. I agree and decide toleave it at that. 2 days later she sends me a text message, which I reply to. She then phones me up and we talk, we begin to have contact on a regular basis. More often than not she would tell me that she knows she is making a big mistake by not ridding herself this conman and continuing a more intimate relationship with me but can't, as she still believes that this man has changed. Yet, she still contacts me every day via frequent text messages and phone calls. Last week, she tells me that she is coming to visit me which she does. I give her my usual speach about us being together etc. She tells me she is confused and that she doesn't know what to do. We spend the night together in the same bed yet we do not have sex, we merely kiss and hold each other, somehow this makes it all the more special for me, I tell her that I am falling in love with her. In the morning she leaves for home. Over the course of the next coule of days we talk on the phone. She once again tells me that she won't be contacting me and it would be best if I didn't contact her formy own sake. She says that she loves this other man deeply and that he loves her. Yet strangely she asks for my email address at the end of the conversation. I tell her that I will call her on wednesday with my new mobile number, she agrees. Anyway, that brings us right up to the present. I must apologize for the length of my post but I felt that I had to describe everything in detail, no matter how minute it seems. So here's my question. What in the name of hell am I to this woman? I have a sneaky suspicion that I have been an emotional battery to her, chasing her up, makeing her feel wanted, helping her through this difficult relationship with her criminal boyfriend. Yet part of me believes (wants to believe) that she has genuine feelings for me. What the hell should I do here? Should I just leave it? I'm very confused. Many thanks for listening. -Tom

Hi There, Well to answer your question I do indeed believe in fate, as do most hopeless romantics. Anyway, before you jump in you should maybe scope out if he's available or not. If he is then make it known that your interested and with any luck he'll do the same. I really think you should go for this. Whats the worst that can happen? Good luck.