lostandhurt

It says "Subscriber" on their profile so I assume that means they have an active subscription. Match does a lot of free weekend deals trying to get people to subscribe. I think there is very limited access for them so they get pushed towards paying so they can interact more. Lost

Day 3 continued. No response from the message I sent this morning. She hasn't viewed my profile and I just checked and she is not an active subscriber so she must use Match on the free weekend deals I guess. She is a write off. Received 3 messages but once again no one I am interested in. Ages 62, 59 and 56 if you are interested. The 56 year old is pretty and seems nice but she is looking for a man that is way more religious than I am. 3 more likes but no sparks... I get up pretty early so I think I will look through profiles and send out a message each morning as way of keeping me rolling on this OLD thing. Lost

Thank you so much for your well wishes and kind words. I don't really go by the matches they pick or any of that since I do the homework myself. I am looking forward to being pleasantly surprised. Lost

I am confused as to what you actually are looking for from her. An online friend or something more? You state you aren't looking for a romantic partner and don't have trouble meeting people in person so why is this person so important that you feel the need to force a friendship on your terms upon them? In my opinion she has the correct "mentality" about all this. Connections through the internet are not truly real, they are mostly imagined on what we desire or want, not who the person truly is. She is comfortable chatting and nothing more so accept that or move on. Lost

Day 3 Spent some time reading profiles and one caught my eye so I sent her a message. Granted I feel like I am swinging for the fences on this one but we shall see. She is 50 years old but her profile was pretty thin on info so coming up with talking points took me a moment. Luckily I have been down this road before so my expectation level is more along the lines of being surprised when I get a response and less disappointment when I don't. I will update tonight. Lost

I make some killer Zucchini muffins but she is going to have to be pretty special for me to part with my muffins. I am a pretty patient guy that is understanding so if someone doesn't get back to me right away or is busy it doesn't bother me. Lost

Yes I have been down that road and even had them get mad at me and say less than nice things. I get it I guess because you send out a message and get excited when you get a reply only to read it and it says no thanks. I am sure women get hundreds of messages they just delete so they get it I am sure. I got a 3 month deal for 20 bucks a month American. The subscription is the cheapest part of dating 🤪 Lost

Day two continued. First off thank you all for the well wishes and luck. 4 messages and 10 likes which I am sure will be the most I will ever get in a day being the new guy in town. 3 messages wrote something nice and had a question the 4th just said Hi which all are fine with me as they show interest. Ages were 50, 61, 62 and 65 but none of them give me that excited feeling and I am pretty sure I have met the 65 yr old some years back somewhere. I know myself enough now to know if I have to convince myself to reply and start a conversation I shouldn't. I did that in the past and it never worked out so now I will trust myself. I will try and spend some time early tomorrow morning reading profiles and sending out a message if I see someone I find interesting. I kind of feel bad not responding with a very polite no thank you to the messages I have received but I have been told on here many times it is not needed so I won't. Feels rude though... Lost

Match allows subscribers to send messages to just about anyone that doesn't have their profile set to private. No real swiping but they do send you a list of possible matches you can like or skip. I am not worried about someone losing interest in a day or so and if they do they weren't that interested in the first place. Lost

It is tough out here for men so be careful what you wish for... Lost

It isn't just any decoration it takes 3 people to put up so I have to work with availability of my friends. 35 foot 24 string computerized tree with a big star on top. Took most of the day to get ready and then stand up plus some beers after. Lost

So I have been threatening to try online dating again after not using it for a long time. My idea was to meet women in real life which I did but sporadically and it just isn't like it used to be since everyone has their nose in their phones which makes it hard to strike up a conversation or catch their eye. So last night I finished up my profile on Match and made it visible and thought I would take you all along for the ride. My expectations are pretty much right in the middle and I am hopeful to be pleasantly surprised. Day one: I didn't send any messages out last night because it was late and I was happy to just get the Black Friday deal on Match. Day two: I know I am the new guy on the site and will probably get some attention which I have according to my email. 2 messages, 1 super like and 2 likes. Day two just started and I have to get outside and get xmas decorations up so I will check back in this evening and go into detail. Wish me luck Lost

So what are you going to do? Your best friend? Cut him loose or have a serious talk with him alone? Your gf? Set her straight that what she did was disrespectful to OUR relationship and work it out or cut her loose? Lost

Okay let's stop worrying about candy and her work schedule and focus on the next date. All that other stuff is just supposition. "I am free Friday or Saturday evening for dinner, what day works for you" Straight to the point with no wishy washness in there. You ask her to dinner or what ever in a direct manner so you can get a direct answer. THEN you have the information you need to decide your next move. Also we all have done and looked stupid while dating so don't worry about that. Just keep learning from mistakes and moving forward. Lost

Oh hell no! What about you and the children? Tell him he needs to start looking for a place to live right away. Start taking back control of your life today. So far he has used you to prop himself up just like his last wife and now he wants 6 to 8 months to walk away slowly so it will be easier on him? He is a selfish jerk. He wants to leave and you cannot change that so it is time to make this as painless as possible on you and the children and having a ghost walking around the house for 8 months is not healthy. Lost

I am going to be blunt here. It doesn't matter why he wants a divorce, it only matters that he DOES want a divorce. It all sounds like BS to me as well. I can't imagine a therapist telling someone to get a divorce and run away from their issues unless there was abuse. Trying to beg, become more attractive to him, please him or appease him will not work so please stop all your actions in that regard as it will not work. He wants to leave so let him and get to work on yourself. I know you want answers and solutions to this but unfortunately the solution is not what you want to hear. Letting go, building yourself back up and focusing on your children is your top priority right now. Once the emotions are removed divorce is a business deal so stay focused on the business of separating yourself financially from him. Child support and alimony as well as living arrangements will need to be figured out. Don't feel bad for him and let him off easy but be fair while making sure you and the children will be okay. Even if you talked him into staying would it be real? Do you want someone with you that doesn't want to be there? Keep posting it will help Lost

That is the classic "It's me not you" line when someone breaks up with another. It is supposed to lesson the blow so the dumpee doesn't feel worse and the dumper gets away clean. Lost

Let's assume that everything he has said is completely true and valid. Where does that leave the relationship and you? Look forward another 6 months and he freaks out again and cannot handle day to day life and coming up on 1 year relationship. Is this a roller coaster you want to be on? Sometimes people are not ready or ever suited to be in a relationship for what ever reasons because they simply cannot cope with life and having someone else along for the ride is nice and comforting at first but then turns into one more thing they have to manage in their life. I have dated women that seemed awesome at first but I soon realized their lives were a mess and really had no business dating until the mess was cleaned up but it never seemed to move in that direction. Both of your conditions could be a wonderful compliment where you understand each others struggles and can be there for each other as best as you can but unfortunately he seems more of a run away type instead of a stay and fight type. Since you really like this guy play it cool with him, stay busy and let him miss you. No texts or phone calls initiated by you and see how things play out. If he feels strongly for you he will see you slipping away and do something about it. In the end he will help you decide what to do by his actions. Lost

Wait how did I end up on Reddit? How do I get back to ENA..... I am Lost Get it? 😁

Best friend? Hardly. First off you need a new best friend. Confronting him will do nothing since he acted like a jerk and flirted with your gf right in front of you and his own gf. Do you seriously think your words will make him a better friend or human being? Just send him a simple text ending the friendship. Take the high road and keep it simple and to the point that he disrespected you and your relationship and wish him well. As far as your gf goes remove the problem (your friend) and then decide if you want to continue with her. If she defends him dump her, if she continues to gaslight you dump her. Or if this is the last straw and you have been having doubts about the relationship dump her. Lost

This all sounds like the straw that broke the camels back and has been a long time coming. Perhaps you should start a new thread on how best to break up with him with the least amount of drama/trauma on you. Your health is the most important thing and as you know stress can affect your physical health greatly. He is being shady as hell so you don't owe him anything so do what is best for you only. Perhaps you don't live together for this very reason... Best wishes Lost

Trust your gut. Your bf is showing all the signs of someone that is doing something they know they shouldn't be or are thinking about doing it. He has turned his attention away from you and to this other woman and that is what she is, the other woman. It doesn't matter if they work together or not this is not okay at all. The worst part is he is lying to you. If it is all above board why lie? I am sure he will say because "you get all upset when I talk to her" which is BS. I would keep my eyes and ears wide open and my mouth shut and see what you see and hear. If you accuse him of anything they will just be more careful. I am sorry but this does not look good. Lost

What country are you working in currently? Your boss should not be commenting on your personal appearance unless it deviates from office attire. Lost

It sounds like you hang out in person correct? This isn't just an online friendship. Regrets from not taking a chance suck. Losing him as a friend is really a non issue because he obviously like likes you so if nothing ever happens between you two and you both date others the friendship would be to awkward to continue. Plus having some guy around you crushed on hard is not good for a new relationship. How to move the needle from this stand offish flirting? Well you want to play it safe but that will not get you anywhere unfortunately. You need to be brave and ask him a simple question. "We have known each other a long time and are so good together why haven't you asked me on a date?" I know it seems like a super huge deal to ask that even if you do it in a text but in life the things worth having often require a leap of faith and to be brave. I promise you no matter the answer it will not be fatal. If you look at it another way this is a way for you to put a pin in this whole crush thing. If he answers that he does want to date you but was afraid to ask then great but if he says no thanks then you can move on and kill the crush you have on him so you can meet a date other guys. In time you will see this isn't as scary as you imagine. I have been guilty of talking myself out of asking far to many times and regret each and every one. Funny thing is when I do ask it is ALWAYS not a big deal no matter the answer and usually a relief to get it out of the way. Lost

Think of this current job as a stepping stone to build your resume. Put in the time and be observant of others that seem to be climbing the ladder easily. If you can make friends with a senior member of the team and ask for advice on expanding your career skills. As you have probably witnessed just being smart or having a diploma does not translate into success. Unfortunately working hard and being a great employee isn't enough like it used to be so you have to learn to play the game such as it is. I agree a change of locale may help and also a change in your views on how you want to use the degree you worked so hard for. Many people I know do not even work in the field their degree covers and are doing very well. How long have you worked at your current job? Lost