lostandhurt

I think my selection is pretty close to who I am. I think there is a selection "spiritual but not religious" or I could put nothing at all I guess. Lost

Day 4 I sent out 2 messages this morning pretty early and didn't get a response. These two were a little younger than I usually date but they sure were my kind of pretty and had great profiles so why not right? One message today from a woman same age as me. Pretty and slim but once again a super devote woman with God or Lord used in her two paragraph profile 7 times. Mind you there is nothing on my profile stating anything other than Christian/other. I am not apposed to organized religion but it simply is not for me. She is looking for marriage as well which I never say never but it isn't a want or need for me for my life. She sent me a like and then a super like too. 2 other likes besides the one above but not for me. One 52 the other 53 which she is pretty but is looking for someone with God in their heart. Reading her profile I can tell I am not for her. Onward and upward, till tomorrow. Lost

Sure no problem. She is looking for a man to attend church with her and bible studies. I have attended church years ago but it just isn't for me. I have dated self proclaimed Jesus freaks with them telling me they had no problem that I didn't believe as they do only for them to eventually slowly pushing it on me. I do a lot of volunteering, have friends I meet for drinks, very open and social everywhere I go and I am not shy and will chat up any woman I find interesting. I may try the meet up thing in the spring, good idea. Thanks Lost

Okay I think you know she is already or wants to bang some other guy and asked your permission to do it. She is cheating on you at the very least emotionally but more than likely physically. She wants out then go all the way as soon as possible. Right now you are a cuckold keeping the house clean, cooking for her, taking care of the children and making a nice safe place to come home to when she is done cheating on you. Is this the life you want? Obviously not. Interestingly when I caught my wife cheating I offered to try and work things out and she countered she would stay but she wanted to "do her own thing". I just stood there for a second and then asked her "are you sick in the head?" Your wife has been planning this for some time and she showed just how little she thinks of you by even asking the question assuming you would be so meek and weak that you would go along with it. Is that you? First off you need to stop sleeping on the floor as you need to get good sleep while you begin the legal end of your marriage. She has already put an end to the loving emotional part so the legal part is the only thing left. Are you willing to put a stop to all this and take control back of your life or do you want to continue baby sitting while your wife has sex with other men? Lost

It says "Subscriber" on their profile so I assume that means they have an active subscription. Match does a lot of free weekend deals trying to get people to subscribe. I think there is very limited access for them so they get pushed towards paying so they can interact more. Lost

Day 3 continued. No response from the message I sent this morning. She hasn't viewed my profile and I just checked and she is not an active subscriber so she must use Match on the free weekend deals I guess. She is a write off. Received 3 messages but once again no one I am interested in. Ages 62, 59 and 56 if you are interested. The 56 year old is pretty and seems nice but she is looking for a man that is way more religious than I am. 3 more likes but no sparks... I get up pretty early so I think I will look through profiles and send out a message each morning as way of keeping me rolling on this OLD thing. Lost

Thank you so much for your well wishes and kind words. I don't really go by the matches they pick or any of that since I do the homework myself. I am looking forward to being pleasantly surprised. Lost

I am confused as to what you actually are looking for from her. An online friend or something more? You state you aren't looking for a romantic partner and don't have trouble meeting people in person so why is this person so important that you feel the need to force a friendship on your terms upon them? In my opinion she has the correct "mentality" about all this. Connections through the internet are not truly real, they are mostly imagined on what we desire or want, not who the person truly is. She is comfortable chatting and nothing more so accept that or move on. Lost

Day 3 Spent some time reading profiles and one caught my eye so I sent her a message. Granted I feel like I am swinging for the fences on this one but we shall see. She is 50 years old but her profile was pretty thin on info so coming up with talking points took me a moment. Luckily I have been down this road before so my expectation level is more along the lines of being surprised when I get a response and less disappointment when I don't. I will update tonight. Lost

I make some killer Zucchini muffins but she is going to have to be pretty special for me to part with my muffins. I am a pretty patient guy that is understanding so if someone doesn't get back to me right away or is busy it doesn't bother me. Lost

Yes I have been down that road and even had them get mad at me and say less than nice things. I get it I guess because you send out a message and get excited when you get a reply only to read it and it says no thanks. I am sure women get hundreds of messages they just delete so they get it I am sure. I got a 3 month deal for 20 bucks a month American. The subscription is the cheapest part of dating 🤪 Lost

Day two continued. First off thank you all for the well wishes and luck. 4 messages and 10 likes which I am sure will be the most I will ever get in a day being the new guy in town. 3 messages wrote something nice and had a question the 4th just said Hi which all are fine with me as they show interest. Ages were 50, 61, 62 and 65 but none of them give me that excited feeling and I am pretty sure I have met the 65 yr old some years back somewhere. I know myself enough now to know if I have to convince myself to reply and start a conversation I shouldn't. I did that in the past and it never worked out so now I will trust myself. I will try and spend some time early tomorrow morning reading profiles and sending out a message if I see someone I find interesting. I kind of feel bad not responding with a very polite no thank you to the messages I have received but I have been told on here many times it is not needed so I won't. Feels rude though... Lost

Match allows subscribers to send messages to just about anyone that doesn't have their profile set to private. No real swiping but they do send you a list of possible matches you can like or skip. I am not worried about someone losing interest in a day or so and if they do they weren't that interested in the first place. Lost

It is tough out here for men so be careful what you wish for... Lost

It isn't just any decoration it takes 3 people to put up so I have to work with availability of my friends. 35 foot 24 string computerized tree with a big star on top. Took most of the day to get ready and then stand up plus some beers after. Lost

So I have been threatening to try online dating again after not using it for a long time. My idea was to meet women in real life which I did but sporadically and it just isn't like it used to be since everyone has their nose in their phones which makes it hard to strike up a conversation or catch their eye. So last night I finished up my profile on Match and made it visible and thought I would take you all along for the ride. My expectations are pretty much right in the middle and I am hopeful to be pleasantly surprised. Day one: I didn't send any messages out last night because it was late and I was happy to just get the Black Friday deal on Match. Day two: I know I am the new guy on the site and will probably get some attention which I have according to my email. 2 messages, 1 super like and 2 likes. Day two just started and I have to get outside and get xmas decorations up so I will check back in this evening and go into detail. Wish me luck Lost

So what are you going to do? Your best friend? Cut him loose or have a serious talk with him alone? Your gf? Set her straight that what she did was disrespectful to OUR relationship and work it out or cut her loose? Lost

Okay let's stop worrying about candy and her work schedule and focus on the next date. All that other stuff is just supposition. "I am free Friday or Saturday evening for dinner, what day works for you" Straight to the point with no wishy washness in there. You ask her to dinner or what ever in a direct manner so you can get a direct answer. THEN you have the information you need to decide your next move. Also we all have done and looked stupid while dating so don't worry about that. Just keep learning from mistakes and moving forward. Lost

Oh hell no! What about you and the children? Tell him he needs to start looking for a place to live right away. Start taking back control of your life today. So far he has used you to prop himself up just like his last wife and now he wants 6 to 8 months to walk away slowly so it will be easier on him? He is a selfish jerk. He wants to leave and you cannot change that so it is time to make this as painless as possible on you and the children and having a ghost walking around the house for 8 months is not healthy. Lost

I am going to be blunt here. It doesn't matter why he wants a divorce, it only matters that he DOES want a divorce. It all sounds like BS to me as well. I can't imagine a therapist telling someone to get a divorce and run away from their issues unless there was abuse. Trying to beg, become more attractive to him, please him or appease him will not work so please stop all your actions in that regard as it will not work. He wants to leave so let him and get to work on yourself. I know you want answers and solutions to this but unfortunately the solution is not what you want to hear. Letting go, building yourself back up and focusing on your children is your top priority right now. Once the emotions are removed divorce is a business deal so stay focused on the business of separating yourself financially from him. Child support and alimony as well as living arrangements will need to be figured out. Don't feel bad for him and let him off easy but be fair while making sure you and the children will be okay. Even if you talked him into staying would it be real? Do you want someone with you that doesn't want to be there? Keep posting it will help Lost

That is the classic "It's me not you" line when someone breaks up with another. It is supposed to lesson the blow so the dumpee doesn't feel worse and the dumper gets away clean. Lost

Let's assume that everything he has said is completely true and valid. Where does that leave the relationship and you? Look forward another 6 months and he freaks out again and cannot handle day to day life and coming up on 1 year relationship. Is this a roller coaster you want to be on? Sometimes people are not ready or ever suited to be in a relationship for what ever reasons because they simply cannot cope with life and having someone else along for the ride is nice and comforting at first but then turns into one more thing they have to manage in their life. I have dated women that seemed awesome at first but I soon realized their lives were a mess and really had no business dating until the mess was cleaned up but it never seemed to move in that direction. Both of your conditions could be a wonderful compliment where you understand each others struggles and can be there for each other as best as you can but unfortunately he seems more of a run away type instead of a stay and fight type. Since you really like this guy play it cool with him, stay busy and let him miss you. No texts or phone calls initiated by you and see how things play out. If he feels strongly for you he will see you slipping away and do something about it. In the end he will help you decide what to do by his actions. Lost

Wait how did I end up on Reddit? How do I get back to ENA..... I am Lost Get it? 😁

Best friend? Hardly. First off you need a new best friend. Confronting him will do nothing since he acted like a jerk and flirted with your gf right in front of you and his own gf. Do you seriously think your words will make him a better friend or human being? Just send him a simple text ending the friendship. Take the high road and keep it simple and to the point that he disrespected you and your relationship and wish him well. As far as your gf goes remove the problem (your friend) and then decide if you want to continue with her. If she defends him dump her, if she continues to gaslight you dump her. Or if this is the last straw and you have been having doubts about the relationship dump her. Lost

This all sounds like the straw that broke the camels back and has been a long time coming. Perhaps you should start a new thread on how best to break up with him with the least amount of drama/trauma on you. Your health is the most important thing and as you know stress can affect your physical health greatly. He is being shady as hell so you don't owe him anything so do what is best for you only. Perhaps you don't live together for this very reason... Best wishes Lost