lostandhurt

There you go right there. Don't be like the other girls. When you talk to him about homework or whatever be yourself and don't be overt. Smile and laugh if he makes a joke but don't push yourself on him. Give him a chance to reciprocate as well. You talk to him a little and then let it go and see if he notices you more and says hi. Attractive people can have a hard time making a connection too so don't think just because he has a bunch of girls following him around they are his type or he is truly interested. Lost

Yeah I am having a tough time getting a read on her for sure. She seems to be more responsive and I will take your suggestion to heart. So far she has skipped answering what she does for a living which I will revisit for sure. I haven't dealt with many women like this online before so it is kind of new to me. Most offer their number before I ask for it or simply ask to meet me in person after a few messages. Hey everyone is different and I am a total strange to her so I can be patient. Thanks Lost

Looking at the basics of this whole situation I see this: You gave letting someone get close to you a shot and when things got real it freaked you out and you backed off. That is perfectly fine. It matters little if John is a jerk or an incel or whatever. You tried he wanted to know more and more about you which is common and it made you uncomfortable. Now you feel the loss of having someone to talk to being gone and the memories of how you felt when things got to close have faded you want it or him back so you are questioning what you did. People do this all the time in relationships. They break up, time goes by and they feel lonely and so they start questioning if they did the right thing. All the other stuff is not all that important. What is important is that you are working on yourself and you tried getting out of your comfort zone. It didn't work out this time but it could the next time. I don't think John turned out to be that great of a guy to get close to and your gut told you the same thing so you backed off. You learned a lot through all this and it will help you in the future so don't beat yourself up over all this. Perhaps it is best to just let this fade away. Lost

You screwed up so just own it and move on. It doesn't matter if she has 3 heads and a tail, you screwed up and did an incredibly stupid thing and it ruined everything. Sometimes you just have to learn your lesson without the chance to set things right. This is your penance so take it on the chin and let this go like a big boy. Lost

Day 6 I woke to no water so fixing the well took priority over looking for someone to message. Chatted back and forth with the same woman several times while I was editing video for the channel. I do most of the question asking but she has asked a few and I prompted her to ask me anything she wished and she did. She replies pretty quickly, faster than I do since I was pretty busy. Chatting right now as a matter of fact. I told her since everyone's comfort level is different that I am open to talking on the phone or continue chatting on the site to get to know each other better. She pretty much let that pass on by and didn't comment on it and kept on chatting like I didn't offer it up. That is my answer I guess. Received one other message today from another 61 year old but she lives an hour and a half away. I tried that years ago and although it wasn't impossible, it certainly wasn't easy either. 2 more likes as well. The 45 year old just asked me a question unprompted, well there you go. If I have water in the morning I will definitely read more profiles and see what I see. Lost

It sounds like you were once the in a previous relationship the A student because your other classmate was a dunce but now that you are hanging out with smart kids you feel a lot less smart. Do you feel overshadowed by your partner? They seem to have it all together and it makes you feel like you are a mess? Do view this as a good thing or a bad thing? As will it help you aspire to more or will it depress you so much you stop wanting to grow since you think you are not worthy? Lost

At best you are 50% at fault for the marriage not doing well but you are ZERO percent at fault for her behaving like a single woman while married with a child at home. Do not take or let the blame for her character be laid at your feet ever. I get it I do. If you were the problem then all you have to do is fix you and things would be okay or even better but that is just you looking for the magic bullet to fix this. This is not your fault remember that always. She has shown her true colors over and over again best you pay attention to them. I focused all my efforts and energies into my son and it will serve you well as you do the same. They need at least one good parent so get healthy mind and body so he can see you are the rock he needs in his life. Lost

I have been where you are which is back on your heels. This is not a good place to be because you are reacting instead of acting on your own behalf. I know you think this can be saved and I hope it can be but it does not look good. I say that from experience and being on this forum for a very long time seeing this very thing over and over again. Your future ex wife is just putting window dressing up right now. She has turned her attention and emotions to another but is pretending she wants to "work on the marriage" Don't fall for any of her BS PLEASE! From now on you need to make statements not questions. She wants to go visit her bf for a few days then you say "Fine with me just make sure your child has a safe place to stay while you are gone because I am not baby sitting for you" Get my point? Right now she is in fantasy land and there is no way you can compete with her imagined fantasy with this guy you do not want to admit exists. Time to make it real for her. You need to see this clearly and plan for the worst and hope for the best. Information is your friend right now so get some legal advice so you at least know what to expect and to also take some of the fear of the unknown away. Trust me I was unprepared for what I needed to do and I wish I would have had someone in my ear helping me see clearly. This sucks I know but it is happening and no matter what she says she is not interested in having a loving respectful monogamous marriage with you. You are not going to change her mind and be the person you married, she is gone... Lost

Day 5 continued. Chatted back and forth with the woman that replied to my message. Seems nice and we have a lot in common according to her profile but I have a feeling it will not get to the meeting in person stage or even talk on the phone. I hope I am wrong though... Received a new message from a 61 year old woman but she is not my type in the least. 3 likes with one of them that lives over 300 miles away, not sure of the point of that really. Didn't send out any new messages today so I will do some reading in morning and see if I find a profile that interests me. Lost

I have talked to women about that very thing and all of them told me Christian Single or what ever was horrible with a bunch of men pretending to be devote to get "dates" and other men who were extremely old testament stuff looking for a woman willing to be subservient on everything. Others told me they only saw old fat bald guys... I am sure it works for some but not the ones I spoke to. Lost

Good point and if so she looks great! Lost

Nope, not a whole bunch of options.

Day 5 One of the women I messaged yesterday morning replied with a nice message. I replied just now so we shall see how it goes. Kind of surprised I got the reply to be honest since she is 14 years younger than I am. Going to read some profiles and possibly send out a message to someone new. I will check back later this evening and let you know. Lost

I think there is a selection for something like that but I feel like my selection is who I am. I will rethink it though. Lost

I think my selection is pretty close to who I am. I think there is a selection "spiritual but not religious" or I could put nothing at all I guess. Lost

Day 4 I sent out 2 messages this morning pretty early and didn't get a response. These two were a little younger than I usually date but they sure were my kind of pretty and had great profiles so why not right? One message today from a woman same age as me. Pretty and slim but once again a super devote woman with God or Lord used in her two paragraph profile 7 times. Mind you there is nothing on my profile stating anything other than Christian/other. I am not apposed to organized religion but it simply is not for me. She is looking for marriage as well which I never say never but it isn't a want or need for me for my life. She sent me a like and then a super like too. 2 other likes besides the one above but not for me. One 52 the other 53 which she is pretty but is looking for someone with God in their heart. Reading her profile I can tell I am not for her. Onward and upward, till tomorrow. Lost

Sure no problem. She is looking for a man to attend church with her and bible studies. I have attended church years ago but it just isn't for me. I have dated self proclaimed Jesus freaks with them telling me they had no problem that I didn't believe as they do only for them to eventually slowly pushing it on me. I do a lot of volunteering, have friends I meet for drinks, very open and social everywhere I go and I am not shy and will chat up any woman I find interesting. I may try the meet up thing in the spring, good idea. Thanks Lost

Okay I think you know she is already or wants to bang some other guy and asked your permission to do it. She is cheating on you at the very least emotionally but more than likely physically. She wants out then go all the way as soon as possible. Right now you are a cuckold keeping the house clean, cooking for her, taking care of the children and making a nice safe place to come home to when she is done cheating on you. Is this the life you want? Obviously not. Interestingly when I caught my wife cheating I offered to try and work things out and she countered she would stay but she wanted to "do her own thing". I just stood there for a second and then asked her "are you sick in the head?" Your wife has been planning this for some time and she showed just how little she thinks of you by even asking the question assuming you would be so meek and weak that you would go along with it. Is that you? First off you need to stop sleeping on the floor as you need to get good sleep while you begin the legal end of your marriage. She has already put an end to the loving emotional part so the legal part is the only thing left. Are you willing to put a stop to all this and take control back of your life or do you want to continue baby sitting while your wife has sex with other men? Lost

It says "Subscriber" on their profile so I assume that means they have an active subscription. Match does a lot of free weekend deals trying to get people to subscribe. I think there is very limited access for them so they get pushed towards paying so they can interact more. Lost

Day 3 continued. No response from the message I sent this morning. She hasn't viewed my profile and I just checked and she is not an active subscriber so she must use Match on the free weekend deals I guess. She is a write off. Received 3 messages but once again no one I am interested in. Ages 62, 59 and 56 if you are interested. The 56 year old is pretty and seems nice but she is looking for a man that is way more religious than I am. 3 more likes but no sparks... I get up pretty early so I think I will look through profiles and send out a message each morning as way of keeping me rolling on this OLD thing. Lost

Thank you so much for your well wishes and kind words. I don't really go by the matches they pick or any of that since I do the homework myself. I am looking forward to being pleasantly surprised. Lost

I am confused as to what you actually are looking for from her. An online friend or something more? You state you aren't looking for a romantic partner and don't have trouble meeting people in person so why is this person so important that you feel the need to force a friendship on your terms upon them? In my opinion she has the correct "mentality" about all this. Connections through the internet are not truly real, they are mostly imagined on what we desire or want, not who the person truly is. She is comfortable chatting and nothing more so accept that or move on. Lost

Day 3 Spent some time reading profiles and one caught my eye so I sent her a message. Granted I feel like I am swinging for the fences on this one but we shall see. She is 50 years old but her profile was pretty thin on info so coming up with talking points took me a moment. Luckily I have been down this road before so my expectation level is more along the lines of being surprised when I get a response and less disappointment when I don't. I will update tonight. Lost

I make some killer Zucchini muffins but she is going to have to be pretty special for me to part with my muffins. I am a pretty patient guy that is understanding so if someone doesn't get back to me right away or is busy it doesn't bother me. Lost

Yes I have been down that road and even had them get mad at me and say less than nice things. I get it I guess because you send out a message and get excited when you get a reply only to read it and it says no thanks. I am sure women get hundreds of messages they just delete so they get it I am sure. I got a 3 month deal for 20 bucks a month American. The subscription is the cheapest part of dating 🤪 Lost