Ainsley7891

Update. I told him and he wasn't upset. He told me I was overthinking (as I tend to do). In his perspective, if it had happened after we had the "exclusive talk" it would be a different story. So, there we have it.

That's basically what I'm thinking. I care about him tons and it's no reflection about how I feel about him. I've been mostly just in long term relationships and when I'm single I very rarely go on dates so I'm just unsure about timelines and I have never been in this position. So just confused as to whether it was/is something that should have been addressed. I guess I'm wondering if I should've told him before we decided to go exclusive.

We are still friends. Not super close, I distanced myself after it happened. We've hung out maybe twice over the past four months or so. We had a conversation it was a mistake. I just feel bad that I didn't tell my boyfriend about it at the time, so it's hanging over me. But when it happened with my friend, my boyfriend and I had only gone on two dates, we hadn't had any exclusivity or where are we going with this conversation but we were in frequent contact (for the most part) over text. And yes it's a 100% lame excuse. But it's what happened. I wish it didn't, but I do also know myself well enough that it won't be repeated and my friend and I have established boundaries. By the time my now boyfriend and I had our third date, it was like another six weeks or so after it happened, and that was when when we decided to be exclusive with each other. It took like two months to go on two dates because we were both just slammed with work and our schedules weren't meshing. He was also so exhausted that at the time I just figured I'd let him suggest a time to go out, but he wasn't suggesting any plans. I wasn't sure if there was a "slow fade" going on, but I thought I would come across as clingy if I started bring that up so early on via text. And what happened was so out of character for me, I just don't know now if it's worth bringing up something that happened so early on over 6 months ago when we were hardly seeing each other. In some context, years ago I had been with a boyfriend and after two years of dating he cheated on me with a mutual friend. It was a stupid one night stand, he didn't tell me - our "friend" told me because she thought we'd break up and she would get to date him. We were going through a rocky time and I did forgive him for it because it was so out of character for him. So I do know the pain of being cheated on and in all honesty I would have rather not known - in general, we had a very strong relationship. When my now boyfriend and I decided to become exclusive, I didn't know him well enough to know how he would react. What had happened with my friend that night wasn't even on my mind because I was just so happy my guy and I were finally on a third date. But when I think about the fact that I didn't tell him, I do feel concerned that it's a secret I shouldn't have kept. I feel to tell him now is just to lessen my guilt by putting him in a position to carry some of that burden for me. I think it would just cause him pain; I've never been in the position where I've been reluctant to bring something up and it could just create issues that haven't been there and won't be there going forward. I guess I just wonder, at this stage - would someone really want to know? (Because I wouldn't - and I say that based on experience.)

I dated a guy years ago who was at the mercy of his addictions. Addicts will continue to put their additions front and centre in their priority list. I learned this the hard way, I wanted so much to help, thinking if I could be a support for him he might want to get better. But he didn't. You need to leave. He may need to hit rock bottom before he can get better.

Hello Redditors, I [f34] am in a relatively new relationship my boyfriend [m41]. We've been seeing each other for about 6 months. I adore him and it's the first time in years I can see potential with someone. We had a very drawn out courtship, so to say. Two dates in like 6 weeks. On those two dates we kissed but nothing more. About 3 weeks after our second date, I went out with a buddy of mine. As luck and bad timing has it, we drank too much and I went back to his place to wait for an uber because the weather was horrible. One thing led to another and we hooked up. We've both since agreed it went too far and we won't do it again. I'm curious, would this be considered as cheating on my now boyfriend? We had been on two dates and hadn't had any commitment talk or DTR, just fooling around and staying in touch via text. But he has shown me so much vulnerability from day one, I'm amazed how he was so willing to put himself out there to me. Should I buckle up and fess up? Or is that just me trying to absolve my own guilt? The last thing I want would be to hurt him in any way, shape, or form.