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GoingForIt_77

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  1. GoingForIt_77
    My God, I have been nothing but kind, respectful and honest with her since she left me. I am seeing 2 different therapists during the week. I stopped school this semester, so that I can devote myself to THIS. She knows that as well. I have done nothing but be pleasant, supportive, understanding, kind, accomodating since the day she left me. I have not and will not pressure her. I have not ONCE asked her to reconsider. I told her in both my emails to her that I am happy that she is doing well. What else can I do, but be a nice guy? something most of you on her will NOT accept that I am and guess what? She expected me to do the opposite of what I am doing, but what I am doing now is sincere and I refuse to have to explain that to complete strangers on here who are dealing with their own issues. I know that what I'm doing now is the RIGHT thing and NO ONE can condemn me for that. Again, I will WAIT for a response from her, without reacting. Something I haven't done since the day she left me. Sorry to have disappointed her and most of you on here.
  2. GoingForIt_77
    Have you even read this thread??? I am making plans to give her HERRRRR stuff! She broke NC to get her stuff back and I am TRYING to make plans with her so that we can make the exchange, because she has stuff of MIIIINNNEEEE too. SHE broke NC on Monday for this reason, YET, is not replying to my replies to her, for us to MAKE a specific DATE so that we can make the exchange. She is choosing to even put THIS on the back burner and ignore me for days, when in fact it was HERRR who made the request on Monday. I am merely being accomodating and patient and kind here, so please, read the last few things that have been written before jumping down my throat like that. THANK YOU.
  3. GoingForIt_77
    Think what you think, but nothing I've done with her since she left me has been controlling either. I have been respecting me 100% accross the board. She pops in and out. She puts up requests and doesn't follow through. She ignores me when she sees fit. I will NOT blame myself, nor will I put myself down, as some of you on here would like me to. I've been letting her lead the way and DO and HAVE taken her feelings into consideration since the moment she left me. Some of you just select specific quotes from what I write and choose to dissect it to paint me out to be a monster, when I KNOW that I am NOT. I am also trying to protect myself and my own feelings here as well, so, please that into consideration. I have come a long way in the last 2 weeks and have NOT checked her Facebook in days. I gave her the space she requested. It was her who broke NC this past Monday, only to not be following up on her request. She's the one who seemed to be in a rush, but is now choosing to wait days to even reply to my reply to her, which in all actuality, is merely to confirm plans, which she doesn't seem to be doing. This is NOT the girl I knew and I am accepting that. I on the other hand and doing now what she thought I was incapable of doing, which is respecting her and being kind and am patiently waiting for a reply to a request SHE made. What else can I do? Nothing, but wait. I mean, what else can she really hold against me now, when all I'm doing is being accomodating and pleasant. Maybe it's THAT that is affecting her. It's quite possible that she was expecting, or maybe even hoping for me to be doing the opposite of this.
  4. GoingForIt_77
    She has lived on her email since January 15th (Monday of last week), seeing that's when she created her Facebook account and added close to 400 people. Look, I am STILL letting her lead this. I have NOT, nor will I lose my cool with her. I will not let my emotions rule me anylonger. I will not react to this. I will continue to be respectful, even though this is getting to be a bit disrespectful imo. As for her Dad, well, I made it a point to say that I would prefer she doesn't come to my place, because it would be easier on the "both of us" if we were to meet at a neutral coffee shop downtown after both of us is done work. I highly doubt that she will walk in with her Dad. At most a gf, but I'm not even sure about that. I am being accomodating. I am being kind. I am being understanding. I am being respectful, but her flip flopping is really confusing me and really trying to test my patience, but, I will not let it and I will stay strong. I have said my apologies. I am taking action and there's nothing more that I could do, but wait for her reply and when it comes, it comes and I'll go from there.
  5. GoingForIt_77
    So, I waited 24 hours for her to reply to my reply to her (concerning which day would be good to meet, so that we can make the exchange for our stuff). Even though she was the one that broke the one week of NC on Monday, saying that she'd like to have her stuff back and even though I have been responding to her and trying to be as accomodating as possible, she has yet to reply to my email from yesterday morning, asking her for her feedback, as to whether to not next Tuesday night was okay with her. So, I got to work today, surely expecting a reply, seeing it was 24 hours and knowing SHE was the one who initiated this. I had NO reply in my inbox and so, by 10:00am, I sent her a second email (as short, if not shorter than the first), giving her the benefit of the doubt that she didn't get the first one (not wanting to be disrespectful, just in case she DIDN'T get it) and I pretty much reiterated that Monday or Tuesday night would be okay with me and for her to please let me know and if it got too late, to just reply to my hotmail account when she got in I waited all day again and didn't get a response. It's now 7:30pm and she's keeping me waiting for something as simple as setting the date to meet, which is what she seemed to want to get over with on Monday, seeing she broke NC for that reason. This is just leaving me feeling frustrated, confused, hurt and just plain feeling completely disrespected. Curious to know what her NEXT MOVE will be.
  6. GoingForIt_77
    Amen! You're right my man.
  7. GoingForIt_77
    Well, I replied to her email today while at work (a day and a half since she sent me hers). I duplicated her tone, but was a bit sweeter (she wasn't sweet at all in hers). I let her know that I was sorry that I couldn't get back to her right away and that I've been really busy. I let her know that I am tied up this weekend, but her things are ready in a bag and that we can meet one day after work next week and make an exchange (kept it formal and business like as she did). I then said I'd let her know. Finally I asked her if she likes her classes and if she's looking forward to starting her new job? She replied within an hour. She didn't say hi. She didn't address me by my name. She went straight into saying that she's working Friday night, but could pass by after work to pick up her stuff and that she'd really prefer to do it this week, BUT, if I can't, she completely understands and that we'll find another day. She then BRIEFLY said that she is well and that school is good and so is her new job (informing me that she started the previous day). She did NOT elaborate AT ALL, nor did she thank me for asking, nor did she ask me once how I am, or even say bye for that matter. So, I replied within 15-20 minutes while at work. I said sorry, but I have plans on Friday and that it will have to be next week one night after work and quite possibly Tuesday night, but I'm not sure yet and that I'll let her know. I then asked her if she was nervous before having started her first day at her job and if it's what she hoped it would be? (I encouraged her to get a new job and she told me two weeks ago when she got it that she couldn't have done it without my support). So, 11 hours later (10:15pm), she has yet to reply to my email. I will NOT react to her in the way I used to. In many ways, I feel that she is being this way in her two emails (a far cry from the woman I knew only 2 weeks ago). I will not justify to her that she was right in having left me. I will continue to be respectful and kind and just be ME, even though I don't believe that I am getting the same level of respect back (less than I NOW deserve).
  8. GoingForIt_77
    I don't think anyone here can give me the truth, because the only person who knows the truth is my ex and NO ONE else, including ME. I really don't know how confused or hurt she is anymore. I have been making it a point to not check her facebook NEARLY as much as I had. I was checking it for updates on an hourly basis at first (starting 8 days ago) to every few hours and now, maybe once to twice a day. I know all I need to know on there: 400 people added since last Monday. PLENTY of comments by MANY people. Guys she's meeting/reconnecting with/wishing her good luck on her first day at work/making plans for the next 6 months out/leaving comments on her main page for all to see that she's happy! So no, this may be her way of living on fast forward now, as a means to forget and move on and potentially meet someone else, or quite simply have many friends. Either way, I have not come in the middle of ANY of that and she added this site the DAY I stopped all contact with her and now I will be starting Day 9 in 45 minutes. I do feel a bit pressured in returning her email as soon as she sent it. No, I truthfully wasn't expecting ANYTHING from her, including an email requesting to come over so we could make the exchange, BUT, when I got just that and only that, I realize that I was HOPING for more. So, I didn't reply yesterday night, nor have I replied today. I may reply tomorrow, or the day after and in regards to upsetting her. Well, the truth is, I am doing what's right for MEEEE now and if I feel pressured into replying, or formulating the right response, then I will take MY time in responding to her. Her life has NOT stopped since she left me. It looks as though it's TAKEN OFF and yeah, part of me is realizing my own self-worth, as much as she has and with that, has come less of an eagerness on my part to JUMP at the first opportunity to contact her, especially when all I get are scraps. She'll get her response. We'll make the time to exchange the stuff and NO, I will NOT beg. I am strong and respect my own actions and have to take care of myself now, because she's no longer worried or concerned about me in the least bit. As for her best friend trying to soften the blow, I don't buy it for a moment. She tried to hard yesterday with me. I've never been her friend and we've never really spoken. Why now? I don't need her as a friend. I needed my ex, not her. She'll get a friendly reply, but if she wants to bleed me of information (As a spy for my ex), she won't get very far. Goodnight all, Dan
  9. GoingForIt_77
    Guys, while I don't really feel that I owe anyone on here an explanation as to my intentions, or motives, or feel the need to justify my actions, I would like everyone to know that I am NOT trying to hurt her, or punish her. Everyone here is telling me that she is never coming back. You all may be right. I have been respecting her since the break-up (2 weeks tomorrow), because that is what she deserves. I have not imposed myself on her. She contacted me last night on her own free will. Her best friend contacted me last night for reasons unknown? No, I have not replied to her email as of yet and I may not do it until tomorrow. I am not available this weekend to make the exchange, but please understand this. I am NOT condemning her for making her email brief and emotionless. When I reply, it will be myself NOT going into anything heavy, or deep, or related to the relationship. I AM letting her live her life right now and she IS. I am living my life right now as well (just got back from a long day at work and today was her first day at her new job (one I helped her get). I am not overstepping my boundaries and I am not pushing myself on her. I am continuing to be respectful to her and that's exactly what she deserves. I have admitted to having made mistakes and having been a little too hard on her sometimes and I have apologized and I am going for help and am not forcing her to have a relationship with me. For all those who tell me to walk away, well, I am not walking in her direction. I am allowing her to move where she wants to. If she doesn't want my attention at all, which I haven't been giving her any of in the last week and a bit, then she won't have it and I'll respect that, but please everyone, as much as you want me to NOT get into her head and prediect what she's feeling, please don't do that yourselves and please don't tell me what to do, when all I'm doing is respecting her and not overstepping ANY boundaries at all. If she wants me gone completely, or forever, then I will go away. Dan
  10. GoingForIt_77
    Look guys. I'll take one step at a time and go from there. That's what I've been doing in the last 13 days. She won't disrupt that progress, as much as I don't want to disrupt hers.
  11. GoingForIt_77
    Thanks Ellie
  12. GoingForIt_77
    Also, I have been respecting her since the breakup, because I love her, but her email to me shows that she has NO appreciation or gratitude for that AT ALL and that does upset me. No, it doesn't hurt as much as wake me up to the fact that I do deserve and AM worth more than that email. She couldn't even face kindness. She didn't feel I was even worth THAT much. I AM.
  13. GoingForIt_77
    Part of me is here to vent. I am weighing out all the options in my head. She will get a response from me and it will be as business like as hers was to me. My response will take a day or two. I still feel that I do understand how I made her feel and I am remorseful and am seeking help and am sleeping in the bed that I made, but by the same token, I am worth more than that email after all this time. It makes me feel like I am a piece of #$@$ and am lowering myself if I even respond to it. Those are my feelings and that may change in a day or two. Not sure though.
  14. GoingForIt_77
    Yeah, but my life doesn't revolve around someone who has kept me in the dark for close to 2 weeks and her FIRST form of contact is a cold and business like email, not even addressing me by my name, or even asking me how I am, or take care, or have a good night. NOTHING, but coldness. Guess what? Even though I did hurt her, I am deserve more than THAT. She's not even getting a response from me for a day or two. I want to sit on it. If she REALLY wants her stuff back that baddly, she'll have to give me a little bit more kindness and respect. I have my dignity too and thanks to her actions, I'm remembering that. She's treating me like I am not even worth a hello or a goodbye. I am NO ONE'S dog. I'm sorry, but she NEVER would have spoken to me like that in the past EVER and I don't feel right in responding to THAT. At least not for a bit. When I do, if I don't get something else from her first, I will just mirror her email. Guess what, it hurts, but more than anything, it's making me wake up to how low she actually looks down on me. I'm picking myself up though and am rasing my standards.
  15. GoingForIt_77
    Guess what heloladies? Her BEST gf got NO reaction out of me. I have replied to NEITHER of them just yet. I am NO ONE'S doormat either.
  16. GoingForIt_77
    Why of WHY would she say she wants to come back and start a relationship with me IMMEDIATELY. The girl is/was scared and is still protecting herself. I am in the PROCESS of getting help now. What she MAY see is that I am doing nothing but respecting her space and this may have made her feel more at ease to come over, as hard as that would be on her TOO. I am not responding right away to her email. I may wait a day or two. Your right in a way, that if she has feelings and this is just a means to break NC, because she may feel that I may not do it on my own now and maybe she feels that I am moving on from HER. Either way, I won't respond right away and when I do, I will let her know that I have made plans for this Saturday and that we will have to do it another time. I did find her email cold and business like and even though I hurt her and I know I did and I did apologize and I am seeking help and I have respected her since she left me, I just feel that I am worth more than that email and so, if she really wants her stuff, let her contact me a second time. I'll just let her know that I've been really busy and didn't have a chance to respond. She kept me in the dark for 12 days and then this short email, not even addressing me by my name. That is less than I deserve and SO, I do nothing for now. I don't want to be stepped on either. I am not asking her anything outright. I am not putting pressure on this girl AT ALL. NO WAY.
  17. GoingForIt_77
    Day 8 for me. After over a week of STRAIGHT NC, I received an email from my ex tonight. It was pretty formal and to the point. Saying hi and that she wanted to know if she could come by THIS Saturday afternoon at some point to drop off my stuff and pick up hers. She asked me if that would be okay with me and to please let her know. That was it. This is a far cry from the girl who needed space and didn't want to talk to/see me. Now, what's interesting is that she contacted me after I actually respected her space and did not contact her once for over a week straight. Coincidental? Is it an excuse for her to break contact (maybe she misses me and is worrying that I am MOVING on myself and has too much pride to show too much interest in me, so she's making it about "our stuff" as a means for her to have broken contact? I have yet to respond. I'm giving it at least 24 hours before I do and then I will let her know that I have plans on Saturday and that we'll do it another time and leave it at THAT. Also, her BEST friend has sent me an invite to HER (her best friend) facebook account, wrote a comment on my page and sent me a personal email saying "Dan just because you are not together with "ex's name", I thought that maybe WE can still talk. You seemed pretty cool." Now, I was never friends with this girl. She IS my ex's BEST gf and why would she want to be MY friend NOW and why is my EX NOW emailing me? It's all happening at the same time. All after I've done NOTHING for over a week. Something my ex probably didn't think I had in me to do. Is it possible that this is getting my ex to take me more seriously and start thinking that maybe I'm moving on from her and she may in her own way she is starting to miss me and is looking for an excuse. Only one week ago she didn't want to hear from me and now she's writing me and so is her friend. I don't really think it's ONLY about the exchange. that could have waited. she seems to be more comfortable with me now, or at least it appears that way. Something changed for her... Thoughts please on all of this... Thanks
  18. GoingForIt_77
    I know that I can count on you for your continued support and seeing things through a "realistic" point of view. Anyone else who's been following my story could offer me some more advice. Those who actually believe in what I've been doing has been kind and respectful and may think that it may have made a difference to my ex and THAT'S why she was comfortable enough in making contact, even if it was for this reason? As for her BEST friend contacting me 3 TIMES today, I doubt that's coincidence, seeing we were NEVER friends, or even spoke and my EX emailed me as well today. Anyone else care to share. Thanks! Dan
  19. GoingForIt_77
    This is for those who have been following up until now. After over a week of STRAIGHT NC, I received an email from my ex tonight. It was pretty formal and to the point. Saying hi and that she wanted to know if she could come by THIS Saturday afternoon at some point to drop off my stuff and pick up hers. She asked me if that would be okay with me and to please let her know. That was it. This is a far cry from the girl who needed space and didn't want to talk to/see me. Now, what's interesting is that she contacted me after I actually respected her space and did not contact her once for over a week straight. Coincidental? Is it an excuse for her to break contact (maybe she misses me and is worrying that I am MOVING on myself and has too much pride to show too much interest in me, so she's making it about "our stuff" as a means for her to have broken contact? I have yet to respond. I'm giving it at least 24 hours before I do and then I will let her know that I have plans on Saturday and that we'll do it another time and leave it at THAT. Also, her BEST friend has sent me an invite to HER (her best friend) facebook account, wrote a comment on my page and sent me a personal email saying "Dan just because you are not together with "ex's name", I thought that maybe WE can still talk. You seemed pretty cool." Now, I was never friends with this girl. She IS my ex's BEST gf and why would she want to be MY friend NOW and why is my EX NOW emailing me? It's all happening at the same time. All after I've done NOTHING for over a week. Something my ex probably didn't think I had in me to do. Is it possible that this is getting my ex to take me more seriously and start thinking that maybe I'm moving on from her and she may in her own way she is starting to miss me and is looking for an excuse. Only one week ago she didn't want to hear from me and now she's writing me and so is her friend. I don't really think it's ONLY about the exchange. that could have waited. she seems to be more comfortable with me now, or at least it appears that way. Something changed for her... Thoughts please on all of this... Thanks
  20. GoingForIt_77
    Ladies, after over a week of STRAIGHT NC, I received an email from my ex. It was pretty formal and to the point. Saying hi and that she wanted to know if she could come by THIS Saturday afternoon at some point to drop off my stuff and pick up hers. She asked me if that would be okay with me and to please let her know. That was it. Now, what's interesting is that she contacted me after I actually respected her space and did not contact her once. Coincidental? Is it an excuse for her to break contact (maybe she misses me and is worrying that I am MOVING on myself?)? I have yet to respond. I'm giving it at least 24 hours and then I will let her know that I have plans on Saturday and that we'll do it another time and leave it at THAT. Also, her BEST friend has sent me an invite to HER facebook account, wrote a comment on my page and sent me a personal email saying "Dan just because you are not together with "ex's name", I thought that maybe WE can still talk. You seemed pretty cool." Now, I was never friends with this girl. She IS my ex's BEST gf and why would she want to be MY friend now and why is my EX NOW emailing me? It's all happening at the same time. All after I've done NOTHING for over a week. Something my ex probably didn't think I had in me to do. Thoughts please on all of this... Thanks
  21. GoingForIt_77
    Hey man, my ex still loved me when she left me. That's not why she left and that's not why she is staying away for now. Some men have patience and others want to know where they stand. The answer you got tonight was one that may have been forced out of her, through pressure. It may not have been the truth. Either way, it's up to you and what you want to do from here on out man.
  22. GoingForIt_77
    Anggrace, I sent you a PM. If you can help at all...Thanks.
  23. GoingForIt_77
    Finishing off Day 6 of NC. In only a couple of hours it will have been ONE FULL WEEK!
  24. GoingForIt_77
    By the way, never now, doesn't mean never forever. Didn't she once say she's always be with you. She changed her mind, didn't she? They could change back their mind as well, but you would have needed to make those improvements in yourself first and that would have taken time you weren't willing to invest.
  25. GoingForIt_77
    No, you should not have sent her that. You should have continued with NC. Remember what I told you about having patience and your ACTIONS would have spoken louder than your words ever could. Not having gotten anything from her in 2 days (yes, only 2 days), prompted you to pretty much close a door, before you ever took the time apart from her, that both of you needed. I have been patient for over 11 days now, even knowing what I know (my ex having blocked me everywhere and created 2 new profiles). I am STILL giving her space. You know, it's not only about THEM man. It's also about us. They are taking care of themselves right now and are doing what they have to do in order to heal. You could have and probably should have given her space. Remember I suggested weeks man. You held out for 2 days and then couldn't stand it anymore and ended it and of course, you gave her NO chance to miss you, or regret things of her own. Not much else I can say now man. You're a man who has to do what he has to do for himself and no one can change that but you. Dan
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