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Silentlyfor

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Everything posted by Silentlyfor

  1. Silentlyfor
    I am really getting pissed off at my best friend right now. You know what he did? He showed me a f***king picture of the guy my ex is dating and ANOTHER picture with them together, hugging each other. And now we're fighting(issuses relatively unrelated to this). Never been so f***ing angry at a friend. Well... I must say I am growing some resilience to this whole breakup though. The pictures did stir up feelings.. but... not jealousy.. or sadness... just... more... I don't know... I'll write a letter about it.
  2. Silentlyfor
    Much better these days. Still have that inward impulsion to call or berate my ex.. but things seem so easy right now.
  3. Silentlyfor
    Yes you can, because you have to. And let me tell you, it doesn't FEEL fair or right that your ex is happy without with somebody else, but that is because you still have feelings for him. I know because that's the reason I have had such a problem with my jealousy with my ex's new bf. Turn's out I was blistering over nothing. The guy, I've heard is fat, churlish, stupid, ugly and maladjusted. Sure I know she's happy with the guy. Sure I'm pretty sure that she wants to spend the rest of her life with this guy. But really... she was a bad person to have in my life. Why should it bother me now? It's in our psychology. We think since we placed so much value in something, it should be ours and we should not let it go. But unfortuneately, this atavistic mindset does not work in civilization. We have to bear pain and let it go. Otherwise we never grow past it. It is the way of things. And, trust me when I say this, they will never forget you. They just don't want you on their mind right now.
  4. Silentlyfor
    To make a long A LONG story short. My ex did the same to me. The moment she broke up, she wanted me back. If you've ever read my posts, you'd no the reason why I said no. The thing here is, your ex is not letting go. She doesn't want to deal with the pain of leaving you, just like my ex didn't. However, why would you torture yourself further? Don't keep a person that hurt you near your heart unless you are sure you can trust them. My choice was easy. My ex was nuts. The sad thing is, I didn't know until the very last minute. Trust me, there are greener pastors. Do NO SETTLE FOR HER... In my opinion.
  5. Silentlyfor
    NC 11 for and Congrats didyoumissme! You seem to be doing very well. Keep it up and keep strong.
  6. Silentlyfor
    Still tense. Don't really want to call her or see her blog.... But now I'm just bitter... Like I'm the one that lost in all this. I know that's not true... but a VERY VERY small part of me is angry because I know she's having fun with this new guy and I'm don't have anybody. But now my thoughts switch to thinking to something else. I guess I'm just worn out from having one of the worst months of my life coming to a close after making one of the bigest mistakes in my life(dating and loving my ex).
  7. Silentlyfor
    Ex couldn't stop contacting for at least 2 months after we broke up. ... In retrospect... I think she wasn't normal.
  8. Silentlyfor
    Hate jealousy, but this usually happens when I'm stressed. Feeling a little sick. Just passing thoughts though. I hate thinking about my ex.
  9. Silentlyfor
    Druidism is an ancient religion. Contemperarily, it is now one of the Pagan religions alongside Witchcraft and Wicca. It is a nature based religion with many gods. I would be a druid which is a man of peace, knowledge, and enlightenment. I think it's something I sorely need in my life.
  10. Silentlyfor
    No strong pangs of grief today. But I'm still thinking about her WAY too much. I want these thoughts to stop and I want to move on. I know this will be over I still need some time. Hearts don't mend in a day.
  11. Silentlyfor
    NC day 10. Ok today. Counsellor helped a lot.
  12. Silentlyfor
    Mental and spiritual tools to help you get past the most self-pitable and wallowing moments of the grief of the loss of a loved one. Imagery Imagine a place that can relax you, such as a real geographical location, and include details like temperature, decorations and the landscape that surrounds you. Go into this scene, and perhaps even a specific room, that represents a safe palce for you. Imagine everything going well. Imagine coping well. Make up a fantasy place or world that is calming and beautiful to you, and let your mind go with it. Imagine draining all of the negative emotions from you, like water out of a pipe. Imagine these surroundings keeping you calm, soothed and safe Meaning Find or create some purpose, meaning or value in the experiences that you are having. You are able to learn from your experiences. Remember, listen, or read about spiritual values. Focus on whatever positive aspects of yourself that have been present in your life. Repeat them over and over in your mind. Remember to consider your strengths when using this technique. Relaxation Try some muscle relaxing by tensing and relaing each large muscle group, starting with your hands and arms, going to the top of your head, and then working down. Listen to music or a meditation that you find soothing and relaxing. Take a hot bath or shower, and use some scents in this, to help you relax. Drink some hot milk or hot chocolate, or a cup of tea. Massage your neck, your scalp and put some cream on your skin. Breathe deeply throughout any of these relaxation steps, to fill your body with oxygen that it needs. Prayer or Affirmation Open your hear to greater wisdom, your own instincts and intuition, you own wise mind. Ask for strength to bear the pain in this moment. Turn over your pain to a higher power. Remind you self, "This too will pass," "I can make it now" and "I can go on, I can do this." to calm yourself and give yourself hope. Allow the negative self talk to fade away, as you concentrate on hope and centering yourself to overcoming this moment. One Moment At a Time Focus your entire attention on just what you are doing right now. Keep yourself in the very moment you are in; put your mind in the present. Focus you entire attention on physical sensations that accompany non-mental tasks(eg. washing, fixing, sewing, walking, cleaning, organizing, talking, breathing). Be aware of how your body moves during each task. I was given this information by a counselor I had seen today. very wise advice. Very good to get past the worst parts of emotional grief.
  13. Silentlyfor
    I've spoken to a counselor. She says I'm fine. I was just having a low point in my grief. So her advice? Not to be bored and focus only on work. She says that a good thing for me to do is to see the world (link removed). She also says I should concentrate on my new faith, Druidism. I think I might be more than I bargained for.
  14. Silentlyfor
    Now I'm crying. I'm crying as I type. I cried when I left to the washroom. I'm fighting back tears at work as I'm speaking right now. There is no other reason I'm crying other than the fact that I am sad. I don't care about having her back. I don't care about being alone. The only thing I want is for this pain to end.
  15. Silentlyfor
    Why do I have this compulsion? I don't want her in my life but it's like a part of me wants her back. Haven't I grieved enough to at least realize that I am gone from her life and never coming back into it? Haven't I felt enough pain to know that she was horrible for me? Why why the hell would I want her back?
  16. Silentlyfor
    Now I want to call her. I want to tell her that I want this to be over. That I forgive her. I feel I really need her back but I don't know why. What's wrong? Why am I feeling this way? I've said why I don't want her back, but I do at this very moment. Why is this happening to me?
  17. Silentlyfor
    Ya know something. I agree with you. Love sucks. The one women that I ever loved turned her back on me and INSTANTLY stopped loving me and that love was turned towards someone else. Someone else she loves a great deal more. But what hate dealing with is the pain of loneliness. I would very well love to be alone but if not for the fact that I seem to have this need to not be. I love being loved, admired and remembered. I love having that support. I love telling someone "I love you." everday that I am with them. But after dedicating myself to one person for some time and getting heartbroken.. I feel like there is no point in having a relationship if all it serves to do is hurt you. And now, after a year I thought was well spent, she leaves me and a couple of months later she replaces me with somebody else(and not just anybody, an older guy who is inferior in intellect and appearance. That makes me feel really * * * *ty). Why would I put time and effort into something just to become abandoned and then uncared for? Why the hell do I feel this need despite my experience was exhausting, wreckless and then emotionally crushing? What the hell do I need another person in my life for?
  18. Silentlyfor
    Still trying to take this advice, but I'm still too afraid of talking to other people. I think I have a phobia of making relationships with others. What can I do?
  19. Silentlyfor
    Brilliantly put Allie. I tip my hat to you. I'm still NC 9 despite my best friend telling me about my ex's new guy. If you've read any of my previous posts today, you'll see that I feel very sad to the point where I felt suicidal. I want this grief to end.
  20. Silentlyfor
    I'm not jealous anymore. Now I'm just sad to the point(or was rather) where I feel hopeless, useless and want to die. I don't know what brought this on.
  21. Silentlyfor
    Almost violated it. Hard because we share many mutual friends... well acutally we share just one mutual friend, her brother. He almost showed me a picture. Crap and now I'm getting urges to see her blog. I want to know what this new guy looks like but I KNOW if I do I will see them together and I will suffer again. Suffering IS a choice. I make the choice to abate my curiosity and treat this guy like a short, fat, ugly rebound guy. NO! I am curious, but I MUST NOT SUFFER AGAIN.
  22. Silentlyfor
    Hard freakin' evening. I hope I didn't break NC. The situation; one of my best friends is my ex's brother. I heard my best friend and said ex's brother talk about her new boyfriend. My best friend then said, "yeah, dude, He's obese and your are totally a better looking guy than this new guy is." I don't know why... but my anger from my jealousy went away after that. It's like... It's like I thought .... "That's all I need to know. I can confirm that this guy is nothing more than a short, plump, unattractive, rebound guy to get over me." At that point.... the problem... just seemed really small. It's like as if... even though she might potentially marry this guy.... and have kids with him.......... It's not my problem because it seems like... well... now I don't have to worry anymore.
  23. Silentlyfor
    NC day 8 for me. Hate the * * * * * now. I think letting go is going to become really easy REALLY soon.
  24. Silentlyfor
    Nc day 8 for me. Still a little depressed. I'm finding that I'm even so depressed I even don't want to write anymore(It's part of the reason we broke up). I'm not saying I'm inspired without her. I am saying that since all the pressure from my life is gone, and I realize I don't need to write to be worthwhile, that I don't have to. It's hard. It's what I wanted to do for at least a decade of my life. But I just don't feel like it.
  25. Silentlyfor
    My ex to a 'T'. Mistakes we'll never make again.
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