Nymphonia

Use a condom and lots of lube, but the best way to do anal is to have a long, slow foreplay session. Give her oral (if you guys do that) and use your fingers in her vagina and then her anus... work up to two fingers and stretch, penetrate, relax, etc... until she's really enjoying it and very relaxed. There should be no pain at all when you actually do anal if you use a lot of foreplay. Also try to have her on the edge of orgasm when you actually enter her and use manual clitoral stimulation to make her orgasm. ...she'll love it.

1. Talented. 2. Caring. 3. Dedicated. 4. Open and friendly. 5. Sexy.

Hey I was with my ex boyfriend for almost two years and I haven't been in touch with him for about three months - we split at Easter. However, recently I have been having dreams about him almost every night.. I thought it might be my conscious or something because the break up was horrible and I initiated it as he wasn't treating me properly. So I emailed him a few days ago saying, I know this is random but I'm sorry about how it ended and I hope you can forgive me and look back on happy memories someday without feeling bad about it. He emailed back saying, I haven't got any happy memories and I was never in love with you. I'll always wish we were never together. This has really thrown me and upset me a great deal because I was deeply in love with him and I left the relationship because he was treating me like crap and I couldn't deal with it any more. I feel like I was the only one in the relationship who cared or felt love. Thoughts? x

I split up with my ex a few months ago. And all weekend and today I've been sad - a relapse in my getting better process. I've been thinking that I miss him and I wish we were together. That I'll never find love again. Then BAM. I dumped -him-. Why? Because I was very, very unhappy with him. He was selfish, uncaring, insensitive, needy, our sex life was one-sided, he was a cheapskate, he was just an appalling boyfriend. Not to mention it was long-distance. He was physically beautiful and a talented, intelligent guy, but apart from that he had nothing to attract me to him other than surface detail. He took me for granted. I was in love with him for all the wrong reasons - because I needed him to be emotionally stable. Not because our relationship was happy and healthy. I was unhappy with him. I took decisive action by ending us. Just because he is being spiteful recently, calling me names and saying things like 'I fell out of love with you in September, I stayed with you cos I was sorry for you', and 'being with my new g/f makes me realise how unhappy I was with you' does NOT MEAN I SHOULD RECONSIDER MY DECISION. I was RIGHT. The relationship was over. Now I want to move on and I have such a perfect chance. I based my whole self on our relationship before. Now I can totally reinvent myself. I have a clean slate. I'm going to a new college in September. I'm gaining lots of new friends and being involved in more constructive things. I'm eating healthier and taking more care of my appearance. I'm putting more effort into my life. I even have a new boyfriend. I just want to be the person I want to be and not be dragged down by my ex and thoughts of him. Advice? I may sound pretty strong but actually it is really hard because my whole self was defined by us, and my whole life was him...now I have to become myself if you get me... Also sorry for length and random nature of post - felt the need to reassure myself... xxx

You * * * *. Seriously Tom. I loved you. I * * * *ing PUT MY WHOLE HEART INTO YOU. I was always a shoulder for you to cry on, I was always the supporter and the one who cared. I listened to you cry. I cuddled you and I gave you everything. I put my whole life into yours. Now it's gone and it's so * * * *ing hard to rebuild my life. Your face is in my head and I just want you to GET THE * * * * OUT. I want to be myself, unchained and free and not tied down by love. That's all love ever did for me. The euphoric happiness and the stability is NOT WORTH the pain. I need to be so careful now cos of you. To be honest you totally betrayed me, I had such blind faith in our love and you totally pulled the rose coloured spectacles away. You made me lose my innocence... I'm now skeptical and I'm scared of love. Thanks, * * * *wit. Grr.. this is gay cos at the same time another part of me wants you so much. I can't just ... grrrr. I'm angry at myself and at you. I NEED TO MOVE ON. somehow... but it cant be with someone else it needs to be alone...

Hey everyone, I've been involved with several guys recently most of whom have been using me or bad influences/bad for me. I have even developed feelings for one of them but I keep trying to get rid of them and stop seeing him.. Today I took a decisive step by deleting the guys' numbers and MSN addresses. I'm going to try not to get into any sexual or romantic situations with them for a while and I need to focus on myself instead. I split up with my long term boyfriend a few months ago and if I'm honest I'm not fully healed over that. Am I doing the right thing? I just need some reassurance but also - some hints on keeping my decision, well, kept, and not ending up with one of the guys again. Because all they seem to do is hurt me. Thanks x

I know EXACTLY how you feel. If it's like my situation, which it sounds identical to - you're constantly striving for a perfection which is impossible to gain. The key is acceptance. Gradually you have to learn that that lifestyle you want isn't real. You can get close to it, or even as good as the ideal, occasionally - say, one weekend you got invited to three parties - but it is NEVER like that all the time - it comes in short bursts, very irregularly. The rest of the time, things will often seem slow-paced but don't feel frustrated - just accept that this is the way things are and it's pretty cool anyway - and you know they'll be plenty of times in the future when you WILL have very social days, weekends etc.

I love hairy chests - but if you're going to do anything about it then wax, don't shave.

Yeah, I'm gonna book a test quite soon anyway.. Good news - I ended it with him today, told him I wasn't happy with the situation and I didn't want to see him in that way again.

Yeah, if I'm more disciplined with myself and do music stuff - piano/guitar practise, singing practise, theory and so on... then I tend to feel better and fill up my time more, it's finding the willpower not to get really down when I don't get asked out.. sounds silly I know..

Hello everyone, I'm just feeling a bit frustrated and annoyed with myself, because I tend to rely on people around me like my friends to boost me. If, as happened this weekend, all my plans fall through and I end up staying in all weekend, I get miserable and depressed, I start wondering if I am a social failure. I just want to become more self-reliant and less bothered by whether or not I get invited out. I usually go out a few times a week - maybe two nights out and a few meetups with friends. This does vary though, for example this week I've had one night out and two meetups with friends. How can I get more independent emotionally so that I can be happy even when alone, staying in rather than moping and feeling like a failure? Thanks x

Coffeegirl, that's pretty horrible for you hun [hug] I'm glad you're all agreeing at least. Another thing that made me think he might not care was that on Tuesday, we had no protection with us so we had unprotected sex - not all the way as it were - but for a while. If he really cared, he wouldn't do that - would he?

Thanks everybody, you're right. This is the confirmation I needed. I'll call it off permanently. x

So you think I'm just being really naive and taken advantage of? But that doesn't make sense, because I want it too.

I don't think so. I'm genuinely attracted to him but I admit that a lot of it is based on sex.

I'd actually be happy to be with him in this casual kind of relationship for a little while.. but my feelings would get more and more. I know I should end it really but I don't want to...

He seems into me when I'm around though.. when it's just us two. And my mum isn't bothered about age differences. We've discussed this in detail though and he says he isn't using me...

Hey everybody, I'm in a bit of a dilemma right now. Basically, a few months ago I met a guy who is 26 - I am 16. We went on a few dates and ended up sleeping together. I really enjoyed it and I really liked him as a person. We met up several more times, after both of us had agreed that we couldn't be together 'properly' because of the age gap - his friends and my friends were both against it. Eventually I got sick of this because I felt as if I was falling for him, so I made him make a decision; either stop being with me in any context, or be together as a proper couple. He chose to leave it. I saw him again a few weeks later; we ended up going back to his place. That was on Tuesday. I have feelings for him but I know that unless I waited until I was a few years older, he wouldn't go out with me. I'm really attracted to him on many levels; he's funny, intelligent, motivated and sexy. He has said to me that if circumstances were different, he'd go out with me. At the moment we're back to square one really. We text most days and sometimes have long phone conversations, and generally see each other most weekends when we're out with our respective groups of mates. He won't acknowledge our 'relationship' when his mates are around, however. He even lies to them if he's with me, telling them on the phone that he's with other people. I don't know what to do. I don't want to give up what we have but equally I don't want to grow dependant on a man who won't be with me. Please help.. x

Hi, I'm getting better and more confident with sex as time goes on but I still have real problems with being on top. I find it hard to establish a rhythm and I don't think I go hard/fast enough.. guys always seem to want to change position after a while when I go on top.. so I really want to improve on this. Any tips? Thanks x