sweetsmile70

Well, I feel that I caused the breakup at the end. we didnt want the same things in life and instead of breaking up and leave him, I continued to be with him for several years but started to look for other guys, met his best friends behind his back, not being nice to his child, being a pain in the * * *.....I really hate myself for being such a bad person just because I didnt feel loved and didnt get what I wanted out of the relationship. Finally he broke up with me, because he was hurt. He doesnt want anything to do with me and we will never get back together. I dont even want him back since I have someone new, but I still dont feel good about the fact that he broke up with me because of the bad way I treated him. I dont feel good about it, while he felt great when he made up his mind never to have anything more to do with a crazy woman like me again. I would feel alot better if I could rest as a good memory in his life.

Before when I broke up with someone it just wasnt this hard. This time it seems like I will never let go of my ex. It has been I think 9 months and I still think of him every single day even though i have a boyfriend who loves me. I just dont seem to feel as strong as i did for my ex and my new bf knows that. I just cant stand being alone cause then it would hurt even more. i know my ex really loved me but that we had real big problems in our relationship for the last years. I really wanted to end the relationship and did everything i could to finish it or to make him finish it. Well finally he did, and i thought i would feel released, but after so many years i still miss him and love him. Is this really love or an obsession? Just the knowledge that he never ever wants anything to do with me anymore, make me think of him even more. Didnt he ever love me? did he forget me that quick? All i want to know is that he felt or feels as bad as i do. Then i think i could let it go, but i keep thinking that he might have never really loved me, or he met someone new. I have so many questions in my mind and i would like an answer but i will never get it, so how will i let go. He doesnt want anything to do with me so i cant ask as a ffiend even after such a long time. Any advise`?

My ex bf does the same thing to me. We broke up last summer and since then he never ever wants to either talk or see me again. Even though I have a new bf and inside dont want him back, I just cant understand how it is possible to just ignore a person in your life that meant so much to you for so many years. I know he hates me and that I hurt him very bad and that he just wanted to move on, but I thought that maybe after 6 months or so we would be able to speak but he doesnt even say hello when he meets me and that really hurts. I guess there are different ways to get over a person.

How you are feeling is definitely normal. My ex was also mean to me and I didn't ever feel good about the relationship but had difficulties to end it. then he ended it and it was like a stone fell off my chest. At the same time I felt so empty and sad. This was several months ago and it still goes up and down. I never had a problem before with exes, why I am really surprised.

Who broke up with whom here and how come you didnt go for NC after the break-up? Was it bc you were hoping it would be you and her again? Well, she seems to be obsessed by you and she needs lots of confirmation to feel good about herself and she gets that from you everytime you are nice to her.

But if they dont even have contact with one another and they live their own lives. Why do you care? When did you meet her when she told you all those things ? How could she get in touch with you anyway? I understand you if she bothered him or you, but it seems like she leaves you alone, or am I totally wrong?

I know what kind of a relationship you have been in. I have had the worst and the best for more than 3 years. When I was with him I just wanted to break up and meet someone else who made me happier and didnt drive me crazy and I am sure he felt the same way, but we kept on staying together, breaking up, going back, breaking up for good. We havent had contact in 6 months now so i sometimes feel strong, but its just because he told me that he really means that its over this time and he still means it. He doesnt want anything to do with me. Why didnt your relationship work out?? Is she seeing someone else? Who broke up with whom?

I had a similar relationship. My ex hurt me by making me insecure about myself, so we fought alot and I went behind his back by talking to his friends and other guys. He found out and broke up with me every time just to get back again after a few days or a week. It went on like that for years and it got worse and worse. In the beginning he was the one who wanted to get married and all that but then I started to push him and wanted commitment. The more I pressured him the less he wanted it, so I told him that if he cant give me what I want then I will go looking for it and i did. Every time he broke up with me I felt so hurt and wanted to meet someone else directly, which I always did. He found out and got more and more frustrated but just couldnt leave me for good and I couldnt meet someone that I really loved more than him so it went on like that for longer than we both wanted. We both became very unhappy and depressed. We both went to therapists and we both had to take pills against depression. So finally he made up his mind and broke up for the last time. I wasnt sure that he would actually make it this time, since he had broken up with me so many times before, but I kind of noticed a difference. He wasnt as upset as the last time and he really wanted it to be over for good this time. He told me that this was the last time and I believed him. I called him once but noticed that he was very upset and bothered by my phonecall. He really wanted to be left alone, so I stopped contacting him and since then he doesnt even say hello when he meets me out or on the street. We attend the same activity so we meet there quite often but he still ignores me like I dont exist even after more than 6 months. I just cant understand this. HE broke up with me and he probably moved on long ago, but still doesnt even want to say hi to a woman that he really loved and lived togehter with for many years. It feels so sad. I have a new bf now, just a rebound but to be honest I cant stop thinking of my ex when I see him. We had those special feelings for eachother, but our relationship was unhealthy. Thats so sad. I would like to talk to him about what went wrong and why we did the things we did, but he doesnt want to see me or hear about me or hear my voice. He just wants to forget about my existence and our relationship, which makes me really really sad.

Thanks malcontent for your honest reply. I really was being stupid while we were together. We had som much problems and he didn't always give me enough attention. Instead he tried to make me jalouse which made me even more insecure as a woman since I already have a very low self-esteem. I was looking for someone who could give me what he couldnt offer, but every time I realized that I couldn't leave him. i really loved him and I think he loved me too, since he kept taking me back, until the day when he had enough since he felt it just wasnt worth it anymore. What happened in your relationship? How long were you together and who broke up with whome? Do you have any contact now or dont you ever want to see her again? For me it was easier in the beginning when I thought there was still hope and I didnt see him, but now I realise more and more that he made up his mind, he doesnt want me in his life anymore and he doesnt seem to care if he is in the same room as I am or not. I try to get attention from him, but i guess he doesnt care. What do you think? Is there any way for your ex to get you back after what happened or are all your feelings dead?

We had a horrible and wonderful 3 year long relationship. LOTS of ups and downs and we hurt eachother really deeply, especially me. When I was with him I really wasn't happy and was looking for other men which he found out. But I just couldn't leave him cause I loved him too much. He felt bad and I felt bad and we both knew it was going to end pretty soon when he broke up 6 months ago. I was afraid that he might have met someone else but I still don't know. I found a reboudn right away; a man that I don't love at all, but I just dont want to be alone. My new bf knows how I feel but still want me. I had a few very bad months right after he broke up, but then got better, but still think of him every single day. I have contact with his friends and keep asking them about him. I didn't see him in 4 months, since he didn't want any contact with me; he really hated me when he broke up. Then one day I saw at the place where we go to the same hobby, but he just ignored me like I dont exist. I keep meeting him there very often so I called him. At first he didnt want to talk to me but I begged him to listen. I told him I wanst over him and that i dont want him to go to the same place as I go, since I feel so bad about it. He told me that he doesnt care about me, that he pretends that i dont exist, I am "air" for him, I am "nothing" and he never ever wants to see me or hear me ever again. I told him that he is immature after such a long time and since we go to the same place we could at least say "hi", but he doesnt want to. I felt kind of glad about that he is still so upset with me, cause that shows that he still has feelings, or am i totally wrong? He hates me so much and I just cant stop thinking about him. I want him back but dont know how to get him back after all that happened, but dont you think it must be real love from my side after so long time. I have met other guys and tried to move on, but I just cant stop loving him. I told my bf all this and he understands me but of course he is afraid that my ex would want me back. As it looks now he doesnt want to see me again, but still goes to the places even though he knows i will be there.