Hunny1607307342

I got involved with a player: a duration of about 8 months, wherein I was left with a broken heart, plenty of tears, low self-esteem and confusion. Do I regret it? Now that I think about it; no I don't - I learnt A LOT!!! You can't tell with players, that's where they get their title from. However I do think that this player I was with did eventually find a girl he truly liked, I could tell from the way he behaved after he had this girlfriend. She dumped him though, it just shows even when a player really likes a girl he could treat her badly. Also, a healthy relationship needs trust to be one of its foundations. It doesn't work really. Although this won't make you change your mind about persuing this guy, because everyone told me the same thing over and over again: 'don't waste your time over him'. It didn't stop me though I kept trying and trying until...(well its a long story really). Just warning you, these guys are hard work. Play hard to get, if you are overly sweet to him you won't really know how far he would go to go out with you.

Hey, I'm a virgin and am planning on keeping it that way for quite a while..or well I'm not ready for now anyways.. but I do have a boyfriend of about 2 weeks. I sense that he is pretty much hooked on me, e.g. he even rung me to remind me of our 1 week anniversary(!) we were great friends for a long time beforehand, and I'm quite sure he sees our relationship as long term. A lot of people have said, men fall in love through having sex with the girl, because that's how they express their feelings: physically. Just wandering, is it really the case? How many times have you guys fallen in love with a girl before having sex with her? Just wandering how long it might take to hear the words 'I love you'... Please share experiences! Thanks !

I think a really posh British accent is quite a turn on for an attractive and charming guy, sort of like Hugh Grant. It makes them seem more manly and in control... For the foreigners, I'd say French tops it

Thanks ! Yeah he did mention in a jokey way something about a porn channel once, and I was okay with it - because I forced myself not to think about the details! I think the only reason I guess I'll be okay with that is because I think I know how much he really likes me. So yeah..thanks again for all the advice.

Just want to say thanks so much everyone for all the advice its really great I just need to explain one other element, in response to this post: Before we started dating I DID tell the guy I'm not ready for a full-on relationship. He asked if I meant 'with sex?' and I said yes, and he said it doesn't matter it's a sacrifice he's willing to make. So he can't say I didn't warn him. I think he probably realised it's easier said than done.

I'm so confused LOL but all this advice is really helping open up my mind, so thanks for opinions! I don't think this is really that I'm not with the right person - its more of a personal issue, I'm personally not confident enough. In terms of who its with, I think I could never be more sure that this guy doesn't want me for just sex. My exact dilema is what eriko points out: But your guy is going to be suffering worse each and every day you don't have sex. That's my problem.

Heey thanks for the advice. Yeah I see what you're saying, and i know that he would never pressure me into it - he's told my friend that he respects me and wouldn't do anything like that, but I'm just worried about the fact that he'll be sexually frustrated. I don't want it to be a burden on our relationship - like safeplay mentioned, the whole needing to express love through sex. I'll probably have to talk to him about it. Its just when he mentions sexual frustration its normally in a very light hearted manner like almost jokey. One thing which i still don't know, could sexual frustration be taken care of by 'other things' and not sex?? (-just read other advice which answers that, thank you !)

Hey guys, I have a huge dilema - It REALLY bothers me. I'm turning 17 soon and my boyfriend is 18, we just started going out a couple of weeks ago (but we were really close friends for about 6 months beforehand). I'm really not ready to have sex. I already told him briefly just when he was asking me out but... When we are away from each other he says things like that he's 'sexually frustrated'. This worries me... I can't keep him with me if he's going to get so...'frustrated'!! For how many months can he handle being frustrated!!! I can't keep him in this agitated manner - because we both see this as a serious relationship which is going to last a long time. I can't say anything TO HIM at the time because its really awkard to just mention in a very light-hearted conversation: 'Wait I don't want to have sex'. I'm sure you can understand why that sounds odd... A lot of people say 'I'll feel different later on' and will be ready. They were right in a sense, because I feel a lot ready than before, and last time me and my boyfriend were kissing he even started dry humping me. BUT I'm still 100% sure that I am far far far away from totally ready to have full-on sex until another year. It's not that I don't trust him enough or adore him enough, it is mainly just something just purely to do with ME. Will a guy be willing to wait that long??? GUYS could you handle this? It don't even know how to tell him this...it's extremely embarrasing to say 'hey do you mind waiting a year before we have sex?' I don't want him to think I'm some kind of nun! I really need a guy's opinion. Are mens sexual needs also met by 'other stuff' like kissing grinding and touching? If not, then this is the huge problem I'm referring to! HELP ME PLEASE!!!! Thaaaaank you!

I know what you mean. With me and my boyfriend this only works because we both know what the other one is thinking, so when we find a nice spot it just happens. But having thought about it...maybe when you are walking in area where you are alone, just stop her, say her name, brush hair off her face, look into her eyes, and then move in to kiss her. She shouldn't find it a shock if you do it that slowly. I know what I've just said sounds quite idealistic because that's never happened to me before so I don't know how it would actually be in real life lol. Good luck!

Hey...I just recently started my first real relationship and me and boyfriend had our maybe second makeout session lol and I was lying on the grass, him ontop of me, and i could feel his boner and it did actually make me happy that I turned him on, but he didn't seem embarrassed about it... because shortly after he started dry humping me! Do you think this is what will happen everytime? I don't mind, it's just I'm a virgin and I don't want actual sex...

In my opinion the best place really is a heath or something amongst trees, just some place really romantic - location is the most important thing I think. Also the two of you have to be alone. Additionally I find when it's dark it sets the mood a lot more. Good luck.

This is not true. I believe him. I can totally relate to it. With one guy, I loved him LOVED him as a person but I just wasn't IN LOVE. And I didn't say it so it sounded nicer, I meant it. Additionally I questioned myself countlessly, what is this feeling how can I love him but not be in love? But it was just somehow true. Don't take anything like that personally... I used to when it was said to me before, but now I realise it can actually mean something.

Hey! Ok I need opinions... I just started going out with my boyfriend a week ago, and obviously when it's all new you want it to be all private and romantic and so kissing, making out happens when the two of you are alone normally. But I just NEVER want to do that stuff in public. I don't know if this is normal. But we were on the bus the other day and he tried to start kissing me and make out but I said no. Another example, we went to the park and i didn't want to do anything unless it was in a totally secluded place. I just don't feel comfertable doing that kind of stuff infront of random people. Does anyone else feel this way?? I just want it to be all sweet and special: totally alone. Not just for the first few days, but for the whole relationship. Please share views xxx

Hey guys, thanks so much for your advice!!! Just one thing; was that really dry sex?! I thought dry sex was with penetration but with clothes on at the same time?

I know how you feel! It's so frustrating, expect my guy is slightly different: he is not romantic, but he wants me to be romantic. Basically, he likes the idea I think, but he has NO imagination, so I'm left to do all the thinking. He's not creative at all!! He sent me a text saying o i do u wanna meet up after ur exams 2 celebrate, and then said 'o bt i havent got any romantic ideas sorri And i'm thinking NO!!! A guy is supposed to KNOW where to take that will be romantic, and just sweep you off your feet! I still haven't found a proper solution, but I just looked at the positive: if he can't think of these things, then I have to, thereforeeee making me the one in control. If I say I want to give him a surprise, then he listens, we go there, okay so he's the one GETTING the surprise but I still get to enjoy it, without losing control of the relationship. I don't know how much that helps you in your situation, but just look at the positives in your relationship and you'll realise there's a lot to be happy about despite lack of romance. Good luck!

Apologies if I sound premature - I'm very inexperienced! Ok I've just started going with this guy a week ago. The other day we were in the park, and I was laying down on the grass and he was ontop of me and we were just french kissing for ages, gave me a couple of hickies, and then said "lets make this more comfertable" and suggested i open my legs and then after a while while we were kissing he started breathing heavily and starting MOVING, like the movement of sex. I could feel his erection and it was as though he was trying to get it inside me, by the way he was moving (-although we were both wearing jeans, fully clothed). This lasted about 10 mins until I just made him get up because a) I didn't want it to last so long that it gets boring, and b) I certainly didn't want it to go further yet!! (I'm a virgin). I'm not planning to for a long time too, I've told him about taking it slowly and he said he's okay with it. But, so what we actually did, what is this called? How far have I gone? Guidance would be appreciated, thanks!

I just started going out with my boyfriend for a week and already I've spent 5 of those days with him! He calls really often and wants to meet up. If I didn't want to I'd just make an excuse but most of the time I just think well why not. I've just finished my exams and he's still doing his but we're both on study leave. Its an interesting thread because I was thinking to myself this morning if it's normal to spend this much time together (and so soon). I don't know - I was just thinking to tone it down just incase its too much, or else he'll expect things to move too fast too soon right. Anyway, i'd like to see what others say.

Guys its improved!!! Thank you so much for all your advice xxx

hey guys! Me my boyfriend (i've been going out with him for just a few days now, but see him often) have just been french kissing, and during the kiss he always kisses me on the neck too - which i really like. I don't do anything else and I thought I wanted to do something different aswell like he does, but I don't know what to do because if I do his neck then I'll just look like I'm copying him lol. Any ideas? xXx

Hey guys, I really need advice!! Basically, I've just gotten into my first proper relationship But the thing is, I'm 17 and he's 19, he's had quite a lot of girlfriends, I haven't ever had a proper boyfriend (well not longer than 2 weeks), and more significantly: He's had SEX when he was with his last long-term girlfriend. I'm a virgin and I don't want to lose my virginity for quite a while. I mean I had my first kiss not long ago, when I was 16! I'm just not ready and I've always expected it to be with someone I'm IN LOVE with and will stay with for a very long time, if not forever. Don't get me wrong, I do really like this guy a lot, we click SO WELL and I care about him a lot, but I'm not IN LOVE with him. I've told him this when he first asked me out, I said I'm not ready for a "full on" relationship, and he was like "what, you mean with sex?" and then I got embarrassed I didn't say anything but I think he realised and said "it's not just about sex, there's more to it" and I was like "what but your a GUY" and he was like "yeah well its a sacrifice I'm willing to make". I thought this made him really special... I mean how often do you hear a guy say that. BUT THEN I realised well actually, that's easier said than done because guys can't control their excitement, can they? I don't want to hold him back from having a passionate relationship with someone with all the sex and everything. E.g. Once he told me he's sexually frustrated as a little joke, but I acutally got quite worried I was thinking oh no... If I still haven't had sex with him after like 6 months (because I wont, especially because it will be winter, and I want to lose my virginity in summer if I were to lose it haha) then do you think he will want to break up? I mean I can't blame a guy for having a sex drive. I don't know what to do... please help xxx (Also a guys point of view would be really really useful!!)

OK I'm really inexperienced with kissing and stuff, and I had my first boyfriend about 5 months ago, and he was my first kiss, and I didn't even kiss him that much because it only lasted a few weeks, but when we did kiss it was fine, nothing went wrong, the kisses were really good! Then my second boyfriend..... he is also just as experienced as my first one, if not more, LOADS of girlfriends etc. BUT, when we french kissed it was SO EMBARRASING. Our teeth kept clashing, and then when we did it again the same thing, and I thought okay when I kiss him again that wont happen BUT IT DID!!!!! I've either lost my touch or my first boyfriend was just a REALLY good kisser. How can I make this stop!??! aghhh what makes a good french kiss anyway? It did get a bit monotonous too at times. What can I do to make it good?! I'm really embarrased. I feel like the worst kisser EVER!

There really isn't much you can do. Until you start fancying someone else. It really isn't a great situation to be in, i feel for you. Hope someone else can be more helpful; but you will eventually for someone else one day!

I don’t know … but we promised each other that no matter what happens there never will be awkwardness between us. But I don’t know. I really need to do this in a really smooth way… I was thinking of: “I’m just not ready for a proper relationship… I didn’t think of all these things when you first asked me. Also I was speaking to my cousin last night and she told me it will NEVER work without us ruining our friendship in the end, and I would HATE to lose you like that, because if we’re nothing, it lasts forever, and that’s what I want, because I connect with you so well, more than I’ve connected with any other guy…if I WERE ready for a proper relationship, wanting a boyfriend, I would go out with you, there’s no one else I would want to go out with more. I’m SO sorry for confusing you too…” Do you think this is okay?? I’m pretty sure I mean all of it…

Hey, Thank you for your replies How do I tell him this now??! I can't bear crushing him. Going out with someone and breaking up with them is one thing, but breaking up with them before you've even given them a chance is another!!! I've told him I'll go out with him after my exams. I tried to hint to him I'm having changes in thoughts by saying i've been thinking and don't want to ruin the friendship, and he insists "It won't, i think this will work out really well". I don't know what to do. HE really really likes me. He's so lovely, and I could never connect with someone better, but I'm just not that into him. He can't take a hint, and I can't spell things like this out to him, it's too hard. I've got his hopes up for nothing and I feel like I'm in this HUGE mess.

grymoire lol thanks for the response, although it was exTREMELY limited lol help so what shall I do !! Im sO so so SO so stuck.