psyche

anonymous tip maybe?

haha, yeah, sorry again about that. it's been one of those weird weeks where my brain isn't firing on all 8 cylinders.

hi guys, sorry. i meant to get back to this earlier, but it's been one of those long, weird days... this probably is the better forum in the end, but it wasn't quite the point of the post. sorry again, i didn't mean to cause confusion. the conversation was a complete and total joke (sans the second half - that was true) and i guess i should have been more clear on that. i see now that outside of the context of our humor, it would make someone go, "what in the world?!" yeah, sorry. the intense sense of irony and possible embarrassment of a straight man having an erection during a discussion on gay marriage just stuck me in such a way that i couldn't help but laugh my hiney off. my poor boyfriend... (sidenote: his diction was also part of the joke - he doesn't really talk like that.) so... about the theatre issues... when i say "hates", i meant something more along the lines "has trouble relating to." that's being worked on and he's trying to get more involve. i think he just feels really left out. which is where the jealousy comes from, i do believe. as far as not trusting me, that has a little more backstory. the beginning of the semester, i was still adjusting to being at a new school with people i didn't know. i went out with a new friend and got drunk for the first time. of course, this wasn't too long after i had told him i wouldn't. i messed up, it was my fault. he was more mad because he was terribly worried because i was with people i didn't know, in a place i didn't know, trying something for the first time. once again, he was totally justified. i got darn lucky nothing bad happened to me and that i didn't do anything stupid. (sometimes it's good to be the quiet, sad drunk...) here's the thing: coming off of a terrible hang over and with this new "friend" of mine being manipulative as all get out, i suddenly thought i was hot-snot and could take on the world and do whatever the hell i want and didn't have to take crap from anyone. i sent him and email saying some things that i shouldn't have and deeply regret now. i was unfair and hurtful. truth be told, it took time, but we just about got it resolved. granted he's still a little wary of the "friend" as she is right next door to me. nasty girl to get involved with, i advise any of you against it. ;-) anyway, he gets to the point where he's starting to feel a lot more secure when the thing with the friend's girlfriend happens. so now he's scared again and is afraid i'm going to flip out on him one more time. we've been talking about it and he realizes that he's not being fair and is doing his best to get past what's bothering him. we're working on it together although there's not much i myself can do but stick to my promises and reassure him. he apologizes all the time and we've never just not talked about it. when one of us is feeling something, we bring it up, talk it out. this problem is something so intangible that it's not going to be fixed just like that. when i said "can't fix it yet" i meant that it can't be fixed all at once, right this very second. we're fixing it as we go and i think we're doing pretty well. it's not so much that the conversation wasn't even my signal that things are fixed, it was just a reminder that the good times have always outweighed the bad. no matter how insecure we may feel, what it comes down to is that there is always this security layer of friendship and love that we can always go back to and always will.

I wasn't sure where to put this, but when I realized what was making me happy about this I decided this was thebest place to put it. I think, anyway. If it's wrong, sorry. So the boyfriend and I are dealing with some issues right now. Trust stuff and jealousy due to the fact that I'm a theatre major and he hates theatre. It doesn't help that one of his really good friends was recently cheated on and dumped by his theatre major girlfriend for a guy she was in a play with. It was probably ill-timing for me to get involved in a play myself so soon after that whole fiasco. Last night wasn't so good because it got brought up, but I'm glad that we were able to talk about it and at least get what was going on out in the open even if we can't fix it quite yet. Despite all the problems and mess, do you know why I know that we'll get through it all? Because of conversations like this one we had not 10 minutes ago. Me: hey, real quick, how was class? Boyfriend: what do you mean? Me: just wanted to know how the day's gone so far BF: islam is cool now that Wes is teaching it Me: that's good BF: i want to have a three way with him. and you of course BF: i want him to teach me the ways of the instruments Me: ahaha... lemme see the guy sometime and i'll tell you if it's in the cards ;-) BF: anyway, that was fun. and then i had a HUGE boner throughout the entirety of contemporary moral problems Me: whoa now... Me: and why was this? BF: i don't know Me: thinking of the 3way? Me: ;-) BF: here's what was awkward BF: the class was on gay marriage Me: oh god BF: i'll leave you with that Me: ahahaha... *ahem* sorry, babe... He makes me laugh and he's my best friend. My absolute best friend in the entire world. I hope maybe that made some of you smile or something... I know getting to laugh with him made me feel a lot better about where we're going. I also wanted to post something kind of happy because I know that the strong majority are here because you're hurting for one reason or another. I hope you laughed. If you didn't, I'm sorry. It might be one of the those "you had to be there things." Just needed to put it somewhere.

I can agree with that. It's fun too!

Wow! Thanks, Zimetra. I think I just found out what I'm getting my boyfriend for Christmas. USB phone, here we come!

Talk as much a possible. My boyfriend and I had a lot of trouble with feeling disconnected from each other when we started going to different colleges. Things didn't start getting better until we started talking about the problem. IM and phone are so useful. Long-distance phone calls can get expensive, but look for a good plan. Even then, investing a little money in order to invest time in the relationship has its rewards. Good luck!

it probably wasn't anything. he may have just accidently grabbed the wrong number when sending a text and was apologizing. i do it all the time and my friends do too. if you really can't get over it then you should talk him about it - calmly now, so you don't come accross at psycho-y and stuff. if you're not sure how to approach it, just look at his phone again and if it's still there then playfully say something like, "louise? who's this louise? am i gonna have to beat a b*tch down for my man?" laugh and smile. he'll probably explain what it was about.

Maybe something to the effect of: "Hey, was everything okay the other day? I got a little worried when you didn't call." That way if he just forgot then he can apologize and he'll know that he needs to remember to do that if not for anything else then to keep you from getting worried. And if he got busy then he can tell you what all was going on and you look like the sensitive, concerned girlfriend that I'm sure you are. On the other hand, if he plays the nonchalant, tough guy that doesn't really have to call when he says that he will, then you can just lay it out for him. It made you worry and it really bugs you for him to say that he'll call and he doesn't. Just whatever you do, don't start off all angry. Be calm and fairly nice about it. Something may have just happened that he couldn't avoid and that prevented him from calling. But even it was something that he couldn't help and he apologizes for it, you can always playfully say something like, "Don't let it happen again, or I might just have to break your legs.

I am completely in love with my boyfriend and we have a great sex life. We share an unusual fetish that neither of us realized the other also had until almost a year into our relationship. I'm straight but I think I'm bi-curious (only in a sexual way). Sometimes when I masturbate I think of other girls; none of them are girls that I know, just girls in a general sense. I don't know how my boyfriend would feel if I told him about this. I've never been with a girl but I think I'd like to. He jokes about threesomes sometimes, and it makes me uncomfortable. I'm disgusted by the idea of kissing or having sex with another guy because I love my boyfriend so much, and I would hate the idea of him being with another girl at all. I can't handle the thought of a 3some because I can't handle the idea of him touching another girl, not because I'm afraid of doing it myself. I feel selfish and don't know if I should talk to him about it. I think I would like him to watch me with a girl, but once again, I feel really selfish. These thoughts about other girls only happen occasionally so it's not something I think about a lot or am pursuing. I'm afraid he won't recognize this and that he'll think that I don't love him and want to become a lesbian or something. We go to different colleges and the girl to guy ratio is so bad that I don't think he really doubts that I'm being faithful to him. However, I have some lesbian friends here and I think he would be afraid that I've been cheating on him with one of them. I would never do that because I would never do something that I wasn't sure he was okay with. Besides, I'm not really attracted to them and they all have their own significant others that they love very much. Maybe it really is nothing more than a fantasy? I still think I would like to try it someday... I just don't know how to explain it to him. This is a feeling I don't like because I feel like I can tell him just about anything else. He's my best friend and the only person I've ever told that I was molested by a cousin as a child. My boyfriend is my whole life, my soulmate, and I'm ashamed that I can't talk to him about this.