comets_21

Thanks everyone for the help!

My final exams are coming up in a week or so and I really need to spend every minute possible studying. So far I can't stay focused and have been getting stressed out. Does anyone have any advice for me on how you prepared for finals and how to stay on task?

Thanks for the responses. It's funny what you said about organization laboheme, because right after I posted I spent an hour and scheduled my whole week hr by hr. It made me calm down alot and feel more in control of the situation.

I am on my way to achieving a professional degree. I have always been an average student and got by. Lately this is not cutting it and I am seeing my marks fall as my program has became tougher. I also just joined a varsity team and I have not been trying to make up for lost study time. I am skipping class to go to practise, etc. People keep telling me on what a bright and promising future I have but I have been getting down on myself and my grades keep slipping. I feel as though I want to quit my sports team (It requires 3x a week practises, and 2x a week games) but I feel as though the coaches, teammates, friends, etc will be really pissed off, and change their whole view on me. I do not want to be known as a quitter. I'd really appreciate some tips, techniques, MOTIVATION, etc on how to change my lifestyle and outlook towards school.

Long or Short hair on men? I'm not implying ponytail long, but the messy look many guys have now?

I am not sure if this topic has been brought up before but I was curious if a child's confidence will be directly affected by the confidence that his or her parents display?

The thing is girl number 2 fits more of what I look for in a girl, her way of thinking, her personality, etc. I am going to enjoy this experience anways.. I know I am young being only 20... lots of people to meet. How do I not let things get to serious too fast with girl number 1? I will just tell her I am not ready to be exclusive when and if she asks...

iamteddybearfeelmecuddle vbmenu_register("postmenu_1142688", true); , I hope you do not think I am some sort of Ahole,, I am a good guy, I am having a difficult time with this myself... Also I wanted to note this... The way I act around them is completely different... not on purpose. Around the one that is really into me I am confident, not afraid to say what I feel, etc... All the things those successful dating topics talk about... but around the one that I really like I am very nice, shy at sometimes and act as though I am trying to impress or win her over as a friend... I do not act this way on purpose, just natural...

Hi I was wondering if I can get some support on my situation. I've started to see a girl, who is very attractive and has alot of excellent qualities. She is really into me. She wants to see me all the time, always trying to be intimate, etc. It has even got to the point where she bought $200 concert tickets so we can go together (her family has money). The problem is I do not know my intentions with this girl. I am starting to like her but I really do not know her well enough. I can see something happening between us though. Also, there is another girl who I talk to regularly but have not become intimate with. I am extremely attracted to her and I have shown alot more interest then she has but I really do not know where things are going bw us. Here is where I need some support... How do I go about this situation? Just take things slow and see how my emotions feel? I am willing to tell this new girl exactly how I feel about the situation if she needs to know. We are not exculsive and I know she talks to other guys as well. I wanted to add... If this girl that I am seeing now did not express such great interest I know I would be alot more interested in her. I would look at it as a challenge. Thus far, I have not show much interest or show that I care very much at all and I really believe that is way she is so attracted to me. I hate that things work this way and it is not my intent. Also, the girl I really am interested in, I always show that I care and pretty much show how much I like her... and in return I do not believe she is that interested.... It just proving to me that you always want more of what you cannot have. Maybe if I treat the girl I am really interested in more like this new girl I am seeing things would change?

Just a question to throw out there. Do you think it is better to delete your ex's MSN / myspace contact? I do not have myspace, but I did delete my ex's MSN contact (although she can still send me messages). They do not know they have been deleted. It is just that you cannot see them online anymore. I am curious to what the experts think as well.

PutYourBackIntoIt, I read your post and from my own experiences I can tell you that I feel the same way as you. As soon as I stop calling or act uninterested they are right back there. I am about the same age as you and I really hope not all my relationships will be like this in the future. I agree with RayKay's point of view. I do not want to have to stay aloof in order to have someone interested in me. I've been there and it is not a comfortable relationship.

Thank you... No I have not taken my ex back by any means. If anything were to happen she will have to earn back my trust and my feelings. I owe her nothing right now. But in her emails, it clearly states she wants to get back together. Clueless guy,, To this day have continued to improve myself. I learned so much about eating healthy, why getting drunk makes most guys look like idiots, who are the right people to become friends with, etc. I also have worked on finding an improved partner... but I am in no rush to become so hooked and rely on someone that I could get hurt again.

After my ex dumped me I was a complete mess. Had no self respect or confidence and basically went through the actions of the day. I got myself together and went NC. I cannot stress how important this was to me. It gave me time to gain my self control and confidence back. I spent the time exercising, barely partying, and spending time doing things I enjoy (ie, tv, reading, going on trips). My ex even dated someone for over 6 months during this time. I improved myself and became happy with who I was and believe me, it showed. I had confidence going through just about every situation. I've been running into the ex lately and it does not even phase me at all. I feel no hurt. She has now sent me emails telling me how big of a mistake she made. I even get late night txt msgs asking to hang out. I am no expert on this situation but I just thought I would share with you my experience. Take the time to love yourself again. Lose weight, read, excel in school, do whatever it takes to put your focus somewhere else. I do not know if I will go back to her, but I do know it feels so good not to have someone else control my happiness in life. For some weird reason when you stop really caring that is when everything turns around.

I don't know how many of you have seen the breakup but there is a scene where a guy asks Jennifer Anniston out by simply saying "I hope this is not to forward but would you like to go to dinner with me" I thought it was a good way to ask someone on a date. What do you think? Any suggestions? What do the girls think?

Do you feel comfortable calling a person more then once without them returning your call or is it basically that you called, now it is their responsibility to call back. Just a general question because I always just call once and let them call back if they really want to.

Just to add, by backing off with my ex, I meant after we broke up.

I like the idea of backing off. It worked with my ex and now she wants me back but I do not feel the same towards her. Problem is with my current situation is that I might ruin what we have already and eliminate the chance us becoming something deeper ? Don't you agree?

thats interesting... most of the men's advice say the opposite, saying you have to be a challenge? what do you guys think?

Well I still have not contacted her since I made this post and she has not contacted me... maybe its the end of the road? Kind of disappointed if it is, but its better then keep on getting disappointed and pissed. I am taking diggys advice and playing it cool, maybe she will realize that she was taking things for granted...?

Yeah,think she is. I mean she is worth my time to worry about. She has the looks and personality that I can see myself with. But I am alittle confused... it seems that when I start not giving this beautiful attention that she wonders why? I though that was a basic rule of attraction?

Yeah, it basically means we'll never see eachother. I've just found that I've been doing the pursuing and I am not enjoying it too much. I wish it was the other way around. For example, she doesn't go out of her way so we can go out. She seems alittle aloof. It would be nice if she called me and was the one that was eager to go out. Maybe it is a good idea to back off.

Question, once you find the girl is losing interest that your dating is it okay if you do NC to help your dignity and stop caring about them? Do you think that if I stop showing interest it will blow the chase of us ever seriously dating?

Just some background, I do not have respect for this girl. She basically left me for another guy after a 2 year relationship. I was hurt, and after some work, I succeeded at NC and moved on. They recently broke up and she still wants to be with him but it was not working out. She lately sent me an detailed email saying that she is sorry for how she treated me ,etc. I responded very innocently thanking her for saying that and telling her I did have fun when we were together and to take care. She has been trying to be friendly lately with me but I have basically went back into NC. Thanks for all your advice, and I have realzied I have to do what is best for me and I believe it is to not call. I will see if my feelings change but as of right now (birthday is coming up soon) I do not feel as though I owe her any happiness.

Hi, My ex called to wish me a happy birthday but I did not answer and she left a message. I later thanked her on the internet and we chated for alittle and even though I am over her (I do not have any desire to get back with her) it still hurt. My question is... her birthday is coming up quick and I really do not want to call. How would you handle this? Am I obligated to?

We have never talked about "us" or been offically together so that is not a good idea.