DiscipleOfChange

This is a call you alone can make. Personally, I wouldn't be the type to enjoy the "fooling around" you talk about. I'm commitment oriented. I don't judge people who choose to fool around and enjoy themselves, I just think of myself as the type who would be dedicated to one woman. Some important points have been mentioned in previous comments which I'll note below: 1.) PLEASE..for the love of God...don't lead a guy on. If he's dropped hints that he's interested and you don't feel the same and aren't interested in spending time figuring out if you might feel the same, let the guy know upfront. 2.) If you aren't comfortable with the idea of a relationship, don't enter into one. At the same time however, be sure you're not passing up something you could enjoy because you've never tried it before. 3.) Seeing someone on a number of occasions and dating them doesn't necessarily mean a relationship, rather figuring out what might end up. Although, it's important the guy understands how you feel because a guy could interpret your interest in seeing him as serious emotional interest

Oh well, I suppose I should let those of you know who care or are interested. She called and left a message on my phone and said that she had a ton of school work to do and couldn't do dinner tonite but expressed interest in rescheduling. Good?.....Bad?.... I'd say a bit of both... At least I don't have to wait around all day wondering.

Well, the first tip is not to start a conversation with the proposal. Just start a conversation with her and when it's nearing an end. Say "it was nice talking with you, would you like to meet for (insert desired venue here) on (insert desired day here)?"

The hours pass slowly as I wait to hear her voice Alas I must wait for I've no other choice Yet with all this promise, why do I doubt From all her signs I've no reason to pout I'd like to hold her, tell her I care but "slow and steady wins the race" said the tortoise to the hare I hate to wait but feel she cares but still the waiting and doubt gives me scare.

Move on to another girl I suppose. The thing is, the longer you keep thinking about her like this, the more you;ll end up hurting yourself....I know... Trust me man, I've felt this way about girls before, it's all in the brain chemistry. You get hooked on a girl and you're incredibly happy when you're around her and things are sad when you're not. The problem is, if she doesn't feel the same, then it's the end of the line. You can still be firends with her (I know because I had a similar experience earlier this year.) You just have to stop liking her and for better or for worse, a useful tactic is to spend time with other girls

Here are some ideas: school, career goals (yeah I know at 15 that can't be a hot topic but...), I find that sometimes, topics just come to mind as your talking

hmm, this is true. I would say though since you've talked with her on a number of occasions it is time to suggest coffee. Make it really casual and bring it up lightly, like at the end of a conversaiton or something. I don't know if you're a shy type but here's a thought: If two people are interested in one another, but both are shy types, someone has to learn to be bold

Believe me when I tell you that I know those words ALL to well. You'll say them again I guarantee. I'm not trying to be curt, but I know what you're feeling and I'm trying to be realistic

hmmmm.....difficult to say it is 0X LOL but seriously... Have the one one conversations you've had with her been only in class? I think the most sure fire way to tell is to ask her to have coffee with you or something like that. That step on your part would drop an obvious hint and her response should give you enough signs to deduce an answer.

Yeah man. I know how you feel and it sux, plain and simple. Unfortunately, you just have to move on and if you can't stop thinking about her in a more than friendly way, maybe you need to take time off from being friends. I truly understand how you feel man and believe me, getting over a girl can be tough.

Let me see if I can answer a few of your questions. Unfortunately, that's just the way it is sometimes. It could be a combination of factors from looks to personality and many other things. There's a great line which says "The heart has its reasons that reason cannot know" Jealousy, at least initially and kept in check is not necessarily a problem Some othe guy was able to get what you wanted. It hurts and is incomprehensible but you get over it. Absolutely. In fact, in my opinion, there has to be mutual attraction from the get go. If there isn't and one person isn't even remotely interested, than they'll never agree to meet for coffee or dinner or whatever. So, Yes, mutual attraction not only helps, but is essential. I know what you mean and I believe that true feelings develop over time. Feelings of love that is. At first, there is physical attraction, then you spend time with a girl and enjoy every minute of it and eventually, you feel love. Hope this helps.

I think some of the signs you claim she has given off could easily be interpreted as interested signs. You say you can't legally work for money yet so that must mean you're less than 15 or 16 right? Anyways, I would suggest trying to sit with her at lunch or something and spend a little one-on-one time with her in a casual atmosphere where there are other people so she feels comfortable but also so that it is just you and she talking. You should be able to judge from how that goes if she's really interested or not. If you ask to meet again (which you should plan on doing) and she gives a positive response Which is anything that involves a definitive "yes" or "yeah" but beware of "maybe" or "we'll see")

I am planning on giving this girl a simple halloween card. I have checked with two other girls and they agree the wording is just fine and isn't too pushy or suggestive. My question for you all is: Do you think it is a good idea to give her this card. I would slide it under her door on Halloween day.

Taking a girl (or asking her at least) has proved to be quite effective for me in determining interest.

First off, YES personality is definitely more important than looks. Smoking is a turn off for me. So is excessive makeup and perfume. I do not find that I am attracted to girls who flaunt their beauty by wearing skimpy clothes and the like. I mean, I'll acknoledge their beauty but wouldn't want to develop a relationship with them. I'm attracted to more reserved/quiet girls but a decent ammount of outgoingness is important. I like girls who are confident about how they look and don't play it up. For some reason, I have a tendency of being attracted to brunettes although that's probably just coincidence

Oh, I agree about that. But playin it cool doesn't mean I can't think about her every now and then

i wouldn't say I "lost" her interest at all. She's taking some of the steps herself. I mean, she told me that she would call. I can tell when a girl sounds sincere and when she doesn't and from the other signs here and there, I'm sure she's interested in spending more time with me. I wouldn't put money on her being interested interested. Not yet anyways, I wouldn't rule it out as a possibility though

I passed by her on campus today and I wished her good luck at her competition this weekend in case i didn't see her again and she thanked me and told me she would call me when she got back and would touch base. That's such a good sign. So now I don't think I'll call her or Email her.

to answer your questiions: 1.) Because you may be attracted to her in a more sincere way than just a physical one 2.) None of here can answer that. No one except her can be the judge of her feelings.

I realize that and if she had known when she would be getting back I would have suggested a specific time. I'm not going to call her today though because that would be too soon. I mean I'll talk with her if I run into her, but I'll give her a day before I try to set in stone a time. I don't want to fence her in. I realize the importance of tying up loose ends but doing so too far in advance might hurt me more than help me.

No because she's going on a sport trip this weekend and isn't sure when she's getting back on Sunday afternoon but she said she would definitely be back on Sunday night. So, I will contact her later this wek, before she goes and ask her how her week has gone and wish her luck at the competition. Then I'll propose a time.

She had to go to a student congress meeting (whic meets monday nights) because she's the VP of the English Club. (I know its a legit reason because clubs need to send people so they get funding and get represented. Yeah, Sunday is a while away but that doesn't mean I wont send her an Email say on Friday or try calling her and asking her how her week went. It sure sounded like she said she would go to me. I appreciate your objectivity though. I'm not going to run my whole week on Sunday, but come on man, there's no reason not to be positive about this.

For those of you that are interested or have been following my story: I had coffee with her this morning. We sipped and talked for about 45 minutes. She had to go to he next class and she was the one who said "this was fun" first. So, I walked her to her class and asked her if she would be interested in having Sunday dinner together and she said "yeah, that would be cool" \

for those of you following my most recent story, I sat with her in class today and after when we were packing up I asked her if she wanted to get together for coffee tonite. She said she did. i got her number and she asked me for mine and i told her i would call her. I called her at the time we agreed but no body picked up. i headed over to her place but no one was there. so i left a mesage on her phone and went over to the coffee place to see if she was there. Nope. i guess I'll find out tomorrow ¡Coño!

hey dude, I'd be stoked that a lay approached me. It certainly isn't something to shrug off as meaningless. sure, you could think of it as a loss but you could also look at it as a learning experience. And you've picked up a friend along the way.