Kwothe28

I need to ask: Are you sure the ring is for you? And not something he bought way before for some other woman he dated before? Also, I dont think its that weird. Depending on age, you dont need too long dating. If you already live together and its going fine, he may think that its enough to tie the knot in the future. Especially when you both plan to settle down.

Yeah, I dont think he cares much anyway.

How would we know that? I think its OK to want to know how does he defines your relationship and to ask him. If he says that you are in a relationship and that he wants to be, good. If he starts to squirm and says how he wants to be casual or some phrase like “lets see what will happen”, that means that he doesnt want to be in a relationship with you and that he just wants somebody to go out and maybe have sex every once in while. Dont think he would take you on so many dates already and keep contact if he just wants casual. But you never know these days and it shouldnt be a problem for you to ask for his intentions.

With the gay guy? Oh I am sorry, maybe he is just bi with enjoying having his bottom roasted by plastic man thing lol There is no future there. Except if you want to pretend your whole life your SO isnt really attracted to men. Which he clearly is when he had you pretend that you are one in roleplay to rail him from behind.

Yeah, no narcisoid would write this. Reason is very simple: Narcisoid doesnt worry about stuff like that because in their head you exist to worship them. So they wouldnt bother with messaging you at all. Nore would worry to lose any self- respect about themselves. They are perfect in their heads so they wouldnt allow to even think about such thing as to lose their mind over somebody. To true narcisoid you are their puppet. Its you who should chase them. This is just desperate attempt from some guy that you dont even know. Not every person who doesnt give you the time of the day is narcisoid. Especially the one that would beg you to contact him after. Lots of people are self- absorbed and want your attention. But not every one of them has narcisoid personality disorder. God forbid if that was the case. True pathological cases of narcissism are very rare.

I dont understand? You met somebody on an app, never saw each other and after a week of talk you were exclusive? Or did you meet in meantime? I dont mind that you and her dont talk to other prospects, but you never even saw her. Dont you think you are rushing things?

I checked the exchange rate and what you can do for that money. 200 dollars essentially pays her rent for a decent place. You are essentially sponsoring her. And John 1, John 2, John 3 or whatever number of them she has.She is young, probably hot, Latina. Americans love those. So its not really hard to find couple of older men to sponsor her. Promising them love and that she will be with them.

Translation: I would still like the same amount of attention but without me dangling that maybe something will happen like I did before. Its a good thing you got rid of her. I think its just the state of mind kind of thing. Often when our mind isnt in the right place we project that on our choice of partners. You saw something that isnt there just because somebody dangled keys in front of you. It happens. Live and learn.

Ah OK, nice to know. That is a good news. Also I think your dysfunctional tendencies are for you to work on. Like those people who come here because of jealous issues because their last SO cheated them and then they transfer that on next partner even though they maybe are not cheaters. What I am trying to say is that maybe you should have figured that out before all this so you could have a functioning relationship. For example, why no exclusivity? Usually people hold on to that at the beginning because they dont know each other. After two very good friends do relationship, well, its a relationship. Because the starting point isnt really the same. You already know the other person very much. Is it because she is not sure or you just dont even mention stuff like that? Those are some stuff you should have already figured out if you worked to already be the person you want to be. What I am saying is, you are asking a magical stick that would solve your issues. We or anybody else for that matter, cant offer you that. You wont become more opened and affectionate over night. You met somebody that you think its good for you and that is great. But those issues you mentioned cant be solved that easily and required sometimes years of working on yourself. You maybe have years with that person, we dont know that. But your issue where you want to run away wont just disappear. Maybe ever. Its just maybe something you would have to live with. But you can still do some stuff. Maybe start with some smaller stuff. Take an interest in what she has to say if you dont do that. Be a little more opened about your feelings as well. She feels your narcissistic side because, well, its probably still there albeit the treatment. For example, if she tells you something do you often redirect it on yourself or something you want to talk? You may have learned empathy now. But that doesnt mean that you still dont do some stuff from before instinctively.

Maybe you do have nice bottom lol Anyway, its all depending on how you draw the line in the sand. When I worked in a hotel, my boss once smacked my coworker to her bottom “Sean Connery James Bond style”(there is a famous scene from one of those movies where he does that). I thought it was way over the top but she was fine with it so eh, to each on their own. My guess is that you dont have the line in the sand drawn. Meaning that you are “willy wally” with your friends and coworkers. Which makes them think they can even say sexually explicit stuff to you without you even batting an eye. You need to fix that if you dont want it to happen anymore. Meaning to draw the line somewhere before somebody of them really smacks you to your bottom like my colleague.

She is just taking advantage of you. Financially. As she does with other men as well.

But, she is right. You are a narcissist(albeit somebody who is a treated one). This all stems from that issue. That is why your instinct is to stonewall and tells you to go away. Nevertheless, I don't think it’s important when it’s not progressing anyway. I maybe skipped some chapter so you may correct me on this. But you two are still only friends? Sharing feelings is OK between friends. But in a situation where you have feelings for her and want to be with her and you did not convey that yet, it’s kind of a small issue that you don't share some stuff with her when there are way bigger issues there. At some point this needs to break “status quo” and either make it or break it. And you both seem to be more interested in keeping that status quo then for this to go somewhere.

Are you young? Because I think its pretty normal thing for young people to go out late with friends and have fun. When I was young I was pretty much like your boyfriend. With friends you can relax, drink, stay as much as you want etc. While with girlfriend, it’s a bit different. For example I stay away from drinks mostly during dates with girlfriends. Most of them dont like you drinking anyway. Same with staying late. So when I did get out with friends we did those things. If you nag him all the time about it, no wonder he chooses to get out with friends during weekends to have fun, especially if he is young. Later in life people settle down a bit. Well most of them. So they usually dont do stuff like that when they have a work obligations and family at home. But while they are young, I think its OK to “let go some steam”. Second thing is, dont you go out as a couple over weekend? If he chooses his friends over you I think its pretty clear where his priorities are. And a third thing is, just because it “triggers you” doesn't mean he shouldn't do it. It just means that you are maybe incompatible and that you both should be with somebody who wouldnt make a scene when other goes out and accuse them of cheating.

There is nothing to be “regained”. As you did nothing wrong. There a re a lot of people who do regular contact with exes, even see them for coffee. You did no such thing, you just said that you are unavailable now. Which is fine. Sadly, because probably some of your girlfriend ex did kept contact, maybe even messaged their ex, you are suffering now. But that is your girlfriend issue, not yours. What I mean is, if she is mad at you even if you did nothing wrong, that is on her, not on you.

Confessing only works in movies and TV shows. You never outright say it. As much as its silly, you are suppose to guess some stuff. Just blurring it out creates uncomfortable environment. Nobody outright wants to say they dont like you. It just creates a whole other uncomfortable conversation that you shouldnt have. Hence why “OK” answer from them. What you should have done? Well, nothing. You already knew he doesnt like you that way. So you shouldnt have pushed that far.

It happens a lot. She talks big talk but she is quite insecure and its still first stages. For example, her “friend” might be another man. Possibly even her ex. So, without her committing to you, dont believe anything she says. Just focus if she wants to see you or not. Which it seems she doesnt. Wait until she comes from holiday and see if she is receptive or not. If she is not, just move on.

Its not humiliating. Problems with partnerships happen a lot. In older times those problems were pushed under the carpet. In newer ones, you can just leave if partnership doesnt suit you. And it does seem that it doesn’t. You did knew who you are buying house with. That wouldnt change suddenly and he suddenly wont be an affectionate individual. But you do have an option to leave. You can split home or buy back each other. Or just sell home and split cash. Just because you made a mistake doesnt mean it’s irreparable.

They are not your responsibility. You have your own problems and dont need to take care of theirs too. I would understand if they need your help financially or otherwise(that from some reason they cant work or if they are ill) but they seem perfectly fine. Just got used to you bailing them out when they are in need. Your mother can apply for some programs if she cant have a pension. And your sister and a brother can find some job. They just got used to you conveniently bailing them out. Also “I want nothing to do with you if you dont do X” is a manipulative tactic they use. Dont contact them for few days and they would still call to ask for money from their favorite ATM machine.

I dont dispute what you said about dating apps. In lots of times there are a lot of people, especially women who use it in that way. Just like social network, to have as many likes, to promote their Instagrams or even Onlyfans etc. But, you need to manage your expectations accordingly. For example, when I used them, I didnt count it as something meaningful until the date happened. Meaning that likes, matches, even messages I viewed as casual as they are. Lots of then just wanted attention and somebody to message them. So I filtered them with asking to see them. If that didnt happen I didnt continue. More expectations means more dissatisfaction in the long run. If you would disappoint with total stranger you matched didnt message you, you would not last long there. Second thing is, you dont have to use them. There are a lot of people who dont have even a social network, let alone a dating app. You can do without them. Instead, go out and socialize more.

Fixed. You wont get exclusivity there. She already lied to you about having sex with him. That wont stop. Demand that he sleeps in a hotel if he visits. And see how she changes colors and behavior. You shouldnt be fine with things like that.

Its a reality show. Ofcourse he did said it. Well, better to say it was in his script to say that lol

And do you fit that? Dont think he wants to be in a relationship with you if he just doesnt even steers conversation in that direction. Especially if he uses "If I ever get back into relationship" talk.

Does he needs to? Both are OK question to get to know you but they dont mean anything in terms of his desires. Does he asks what are you looking from a guy? Maybe about past relationships? Flirts? Because those would be an indicators that he is into you. Asking about the name of your company is just small talk.

But if he breaks up with her how would he have backup if its not for you? He literally left you so he can date somebody else. And still keeps you there. We told you before that you should just delete and block the guy but he seems to have some power over you as you fell for him hard. So enjoy being on a bench just in case he ever changes his mind. And enjoy looking his Instagram pics with her.

Liers and cheaters stay liers and cheaters. In other words: Its not you, its him. Literally just that.