SimonH

she showed me some chats but she could hav just archived something she did not want to show

I asked to look at her phone BTW and she said no. That also made me upset. What is she hiding?

Brazil. She has lied about other stupid things as well. For example, she said her watch is real but it is fake. She admitted she bought a fake watch to me as she said she feels inferior to me. As is if she is trying to compete with me which is quite silly. None of these things really bugged me much. But this John who she answered the phone with when out with me and her going into my phone are different. When she went into my phone and saw I had messaged some other girls (but never met them) she started to cry hysterically so obviously she has feelings or is a psychopath. Most likely the former. For further context she has been working outside of her normal city for the past 3 months so not possible for her to have seen this John person unless he travelled to her which is unlikely.

I sincerely felt the difference was that we were in an exclusive relationship. Not that she may have other people like me. I did not want a transactional relationship and to be honest it is not even very transactional because a lot of the time I am supporting her I will not even see her. I can sometime pass 2-3 months without seeing her although sometimes we willl pass 1 month together.

I offered because I started to feel bad for her. She comes from a family that has nothing. When I say nothing I mean just enough to survive. So for me to send $200 here and there did not seem like a big deal to me and could help her a lot especially in her local currency. But it started to be more than that to be honest and developed into sending money consistently, her occasionally asking for money. Honestly I don't mind because it does not affect me much and it is not like she is asking for a $2000 wire every week. I ask about being played because she picked up the call from John and she lied about it at first, who he was, then told me it was someone she had a romantic relationship with 2 years ago before she me me. So I am still very hurt by what happened in the restaurant and told her it is going to take me time to heal and gain back trust.

I see what you are saying and it might be difficult to understand especially if you are not here but it does not feel completely transactional. I think she does have very strong feelings for me.I have dated other girls before that were like being out with a sour fish and difficult to converse with. This is not that person.

I think maybe I have made it more dramatic than it is. She is not aloof or does not like me/acting as if she likes me because of the vacations/financial support. I think she is genuinely genuine. I think she just wants to keep her options open it seems in case I do not marry her or we break up. Her excuse for talking with the guy John was that I am always too busy and we do not talk a lot which is kind of true. A lot of the day I am working and she will sit on her phone when we are together. We also do do things together to of course but not all day. The same as anyone else who works like me I suppose. She doesn't have a full time job or go to school.

We met initially by chance through a dating app. Yes she knows I have spoken to other women. To be honest I have not met any however. She did go in my phone twice. She writes me love letters about how it is her dream to marry me one day we are soulmates etc. When I leave her after visiting her country or a vacation she cries buckets of tears. If she wasn't genuine she would be worthy of an Academy Award.

she said she was 18 always

She always told me she was 18.

I met a very nice girl about 2 years ago. I had never been in a relationship before. I found her, and still do, to be intelligent and beautiful. She is 19 and I just turned 36. She lives in another country and unfortunately is not financially stable so I have supported her to a large extent over the past two years. Considering the fact we live in different countries, and she cannot get a visa to visit my country, we have spent a significant amount of time together over the past two years: 6 months combined I would say. It certainly feels like an exclusive relationship to the point where she cries every time I leave, sends me love letters about how she is my soulmate etc blah blah. So a few days ago we are having dinner, on yet another vacation, and she receives a phone call from an individual. For all purposes let's say "John." I see the name pop up on her phone. She says she needs to take this call. She comes back and of course I am a little upset I am on vacation with someone and she has just taken a call from John. I ask who it was and she said her father. A lie. Then she says it was a psychic as she wanted advice since her mother tried to kill herself (maybe the truth as her mother is a little nuts). Then she tells me it is someone she previously met and had intimacy before we became very serious and she felt she needed to take the call as sometimes she needs someone to talk to and I am always so busy. As you can imagine I was lied to (not the first time; there have been a few lies in the past nothing too dramatic) and I feel a little bit taken advantage of like a fool. My idea was that we were in an exclusive relationship and if she was speaking to another guy how could that be? To be fair, she has gone into my phone once last week (she figured out password) and saw I had replied to other girls who texted me, but I did not meet up with those girls and never had sex with them. So basically I am looking for some advice based on what I have written and don't want to feel like I am being played if I continue with this girl and to support her.