Mike Robert

Thank you! The advice I'm getting here has helped a great ton. This is a great community. I do feel better for cutting off the porn/OF content especially when I got to know her more. Maybe my anxiety was tracing it to the wrong source. I'm just going to go with the flow, not go in too deep, and play everything out slowly.

Thank you! Fortunately I can say I'm not addicted. I wish I wasn't like this and always trying to overthink every little thing. It's weird because I know I mean well, I'm being genuine, and I care about others but I always feel like I'm doing something wrong or think about the "what if's"... I've been working on improving this. When it comes to a lot of things I overthink and I've been wanting to change that about myself. I know I should be more fixated about the logistics of being in a LDR like everyone has mentioned.

I do apologize for my overthinking I've just been in positions where I was people's rebound, or they found somebody else after a couple months in, ghosted, etc but the advice I'm getting really helps and it really ensures that I stay level headed with this situation and just let things flow without diving in too deep. You are all great!

We are working on meeting up to see where things go. We just decided we want to talk to each other and choose not to meet with other people until we actually meet up as we scheduled a hard date for all this. Thank you for the input! I wasn't really using dating as therapy for porn addiction. I think it's something I did when I wasn't actively talking to someone as I wasn't really the type to hook up with people as I always wanted a connection with someone. It never really impacted my day to day life and there were periods where I wouldn't even do it as I was busy. Like I said it's been a couple weeks. You are all absolutely right and I did talk to her about how we should be realistic with everything and we need to see how we are when we meet and she agreed. I appreciate all the advice I've been getting!

Thanks for sharing! That's a great story and gives me hope. Honestly I've done a lot of reflecting and while I can say that some of the people it didn't work out with was not my fault or control, the other reasons were attributed to me potentially being too picky. I slowly learned that the person for me may not have everything I want but I want someone I can build with and we can make each other better. I had a big reflection in this regard. some people questioned why I cut out a lot of stuff so quick without making things official like the porn/OF but I think once I develop a connection with someone in my opinion it's more appropriate. I know others may have differing opinions! I also heard the negatives of these things and I'd rather eliminate it now before it does become an issue.

Thank you everyone! I developed connections with people I've met before and never had any real issues. Sometimes they went back to their ex, other times there wasn't much spark on their end, etc. The porn/OF use I believe was just something I used when I was single. It didn't really affect my day to day business such as work or anything. I kind of chose that stuff over sleeping with other women. I was still going out on dates at the time and meeting people. I haven't used it in a couple weeks and I feel good! When I kept talking to her and we connected more I just slowly cut off that stuff because I feel like a majority of women would find it disrespectful to do it if you're engaging in a relationship. I do know couples who allow it which is fine everyone can set their own boundaries. If this doesn't work out anyways I probably won't go back to pornography use. I guess I was questioning if what I'm doing is normal by cutting out these things as I meet someone who I've connected with so well. I know people have questioned because we aren't even official yet but we are meeting real soon and gonna talk!

Thank you everyone! I really appreciate everyone's honesty and input on this situation of mine. Lots of you share great information as well so I really do appreciate it. Everything has helped. To answer some questions she will be paying for her own ticket. I don't think there is anything to hide between us just really how it all came about. She has family here. We do agree we need to meet in person and see how we are around each other. We did talk and we are going to talk about all this LDR stuff because we acknowledge there are many challenges ahead. I appreciate all the good wishes in this situation - this is a great community.

I'm not sure why that is... sometimes there wasn't a connection after conscious effort, one time I got cut off when someone went back to their ex, and so forth... I did try many times in person. So in your experience you were afraid of commitment in person?

Family lived there for work and eventually coming back. yes I will Focus on getting to know her first and foremost and what her goals are. Thank you so much for your advice!

No I've talked to people in person here it didn't work out. I matched with her and everything seems good so far and they have family here and they eventually want to move to the same state so that helps. I feel like a lot of things are aligning!

Thank you for this! You know I need to hear the bads and what I'm getting myself into and knowing the risks so I agree. When we meet in person we are going to talk about all of that. I do want to bring up some of the points you mentioned to her. This was worth the read and I appreciate the honesty.

I feel you and I'm sorry that happened. What split up me and my ex when we did long distance was wanting to stay with each others families. I hope you're in a better place now!

No I would never. I feel like if it isn't affecting your love life you shouldn't mention it maybe down the line. I haven't in around 2 weeks and I feel good - that's the time I got more serious. I feel like I only did all of that stuff because I was single and haven't found the right one. I want to try to see her every month see how that works out. I'm hoping this is the one my luck has been bad lol

Hey thank you! She doesn't know about it I'm not really ashamed of it I feel like a lot of people do it lol. I kind of wanted to stop anyways so it did work out for me and it's been almost a couple weeks and I actually feel really good about it. I wasn't addicted as it didn't affect my work, life, etc and I could go on with my life easily without it. I agree that everyone has their own habits and they wouldn't stop them when they talk to someone. I know people who don't mind it until it starts to affect their relationship. Yes it's still really early between us but I'm hoping it works out! Thank you so much for the advice! Thank you for the wishes! I'm hoping it goes well too.

Oh wow, I'm sorry it didn't work out! What were some of the challenges you faced? And the last part you said thank you! Definitely looking into that.