DarkCh0c0

@Cynder I mean this in the best way possible: your ex brought out the worst in you. Please take your time to heal and move on. When you need that space to release emotion, absolutely do it by all means. It's normal to have triggers, but their effect will lessen as time goes. Love yourself enough to not accept being treated like in that relationship ever again. Hang in there. The heart will heal 💚 take care of you.

I think that's everyone's worry there. And it's okay. Remember that you all struggle in this meeting, so nobody's better than anybody else. So be yourself, and slowly you'll see how others will be understanding and empathetic. You are very very brave for doing this. It's a new chapter in your life. Be proud!

Seriously. What a selfish jerk. He literally ruined your bday. He has many behaviours of an abuser. Kick him to the curb. Literally. Refuse seeing him or ever talking to him ever again. Say no! And you need to distance yourself away from him and his drama. Do NOT meet him anymore. Be busy and do you. Life is beautiful and there are men out there that will treat you right and make you feel beyond special. Men who are emotionally available and who are loyal and caring. Men who are respectful. Girl, love and respect yourself enough to leave all this behind and start healing. Like, right now!

Use every strength in your bones you have left to say no. Don't fall for the BS. He can tell you're leaving and he's pulling all his tricks and manipulation tactics on you. Remember it's all BS to keep you for his own selfish needs. He doesn't care about yours. Deep breaths. You'll be fine 💚

My advice for you, as someone with an expensive background working at start-ups, do not start a start-up without hands on experience at other companies AND without managerial experience AND without sufficient funding. We're talking at least 3-5 years of relevant experience at competitors or in the role. Having a start-up is not easy and most struggle and fail. Your head is in the clouds. Get some facts straight, money, and experience. Again, that's from me having worked with plenty of start-ups. So focus on re-doing and re-passing your exams. If not, get hands on experience. You need to have business acumen, a product that works, that has a market, and that can scale. And you need to have experience in managing people and deadlines... IF you want this to succeed.

Now. Literally. You deserve better and can do better. This man had clearly shown you who he is before and he can't change. Why settle for this mediocrity? You obviously are not satisfied and your needs are not met. And he sounds like he came back to you cause it's harder to find women and start anew. Free yourself to find men who will treat you right and make you feel more than special. Don't settle and don't go desperate. Comon' girl, take charge of your happiness! 30s are the gold time for empowerment and sexy confidence. Say no. Love and respect yourself more than any relationship and any man. You got it. You can do it!

I'm sorry to feel this way. This sounds very tough, and like you can't see the end of the tunnel. Can you start by decreasing the time you watch porn, and join group therapy? Even if it's online and you don't want to talk. Individual therapy can help, but it needs to be with the right therapist who will push you outside your comfort zone. Until then, try group therapy. And, what about incorporating small healthy habits? Like going for a walk in the sun for 20minutes daily, Having a healthier breakfast, having a good sleep schedule, ect.? Have you been checked by a doctor regarding any deficiencies that may also cause you to feel this way? You're not alone. Many of us have been through this dark forest at some point for different reasons, and there are ways out. Don't be too harsh on yourself.

That's better for you. Focus on you and your next steps in life.

I think they do, but they just finished their studies it seems, so they're not in the best place to make investments, specially that he failed his exams. OP can't you retake the exams? For you, not for the ex/gf.

She cares only about her needs, and She's beyond selfish. And she's threatening and throwing tantrums when you don't bend to her demands. I'd say you really need to step back from this relationship, and see it for what it is. She's clearly shown you that she's up to take and take from you, but not to give. And you failing that milestone really showed you her true colours. She's a "my way or the highway" partner, and that's very toxic. It shouldn't and doesn't have to be this way. In a healthy relationship, both partners' needs are cared for and supported. Reflect if she is really "the one" as you put it. Cause honestly, she isn't man. I'm sorry.

Okay, I think you need to give her resources, but continue to be a good friend. If being a good friend is too much for you, tone it down. But at the same time, if she asked for divorce, then she will need your support more. It's a tricky situation. Maybe limit talks and calls to be only at work? To limit risks. And continue to focus your perspective on being a good friend. You know she is not in the headspace to be with someone, and shouldn't do so. For now, she is stuck in an abusive cycle and is trauma bonded. You might want to share with her an article about that. I think this is the saddest part. She clearly is emotionally and physically bruised, and no one seems to want to help. Where the hell is her manager??

Perhaps, start by treating your mental illness before going back to dating? @Wiseman2 has given you some good pointers. And next time, don't take your partner for granted. Honestly, I think she was very articulate and communicated several times her concern. You had multiple shots and just didn't care enough. So be honest with yourself on why you also didn't care enough. But note that you have hurt her, and it's best to let her go. You can't "undo" the damage. Hence, it's better for you to Have a clean break up and move on. Be a better man with the next lady when you're ready.

Well, at least you're working on this, and I bet you displayed some of the controlling traits earlier in the relationship- but in a more subtle way. So, there's nothing you can do about the relationship anymore. It has ended. Accept that it is what it is and you live and learn. She had her flaws, and so did you. You'll do better with the next lady. I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm so sorry for what you've been through. I agree with everyone above. Cut FULL CONTACT with this man and get a restraining order. You need to protect yourself and be safe to be a good mom. And you need to love yourself and the kids more than this awful man and relationship to get to him to leave for good. Just don't look back. In the meanwhile, you might want to look at https://booktrib.com/2018/04/10/interview-avery-neal-emotional-abuse/and reflect. You might need the/a book that will help you through this. And, please consider therapy asap. Note that couple's therapy for abusive relationships is NOT helpful. And @boltnrunlaid out some good reasons as to why you shouldn't go back to him. Trust me, it's much harder to find another woman and start over, than come back to you and lie his way in. So you really really need to be on your own for a long while to start healing. Draw that firm line in the sand for you and your kids. And please ask friends and family for help. It happens to the best of us. You are braver than you think.

I have a feeling he's cheated on you and he's projecting. That aside, nobody here needs a list of why you need to leave him. Listen to your feelings and needs. These are your biggest indicators and your inner compass. If it's time for you to leave, then it is. You deserve to be happy and to be loved in the right way. And, I think you know it's time. Listen to that inner voice and love yourself enough to do what's good for you.

To answer your question: let it go. What you see is what you get. What you have now is the most of what you can get from this man. And, he's been clear about this. You're just his fwb for his sex needs. Nothing more, nothing less. Free yourself to find single serious men who are willing to be committed to you and make you feel more than special. You deserve better than this and can do much better.

This isn't a push for exclusivity. This is a push to isolate you from your support system and to control you. She thinks you're her possession and she can tell you what to do in your life (and you're not even bf and gf!). Cut contact and RUN. You can do much better!

Have a plan B as people mentioned. Can you talk with your supervisor about this? Like literally ask if they know anything. My current manager confirmed to me during a previous lay-off period that I won't be made redundant. They did this to keep me. And yet, I've been job searching since then for plan b and for different reasons. Have a talk, at least you may get a reality check. And prep your resume. It's okay and it'll be okay. I promise it won't be the worse case scenario if you have a talk and have some plan b preparations. Deep breaths. Please consider venting to a friend or therapist.

OP watch a man's actions, not words. You're so hung up on his words and the fantasy in your mind. His actions do not align. Just stop talking to him and move on to more available people. Life happens and it's not something you have control over. Let go and accept the present.

So what is the point of him chatting with you if you are not available for a date right now? You're basically a stranger to him, so not really a priority. When you have time to go back to dating, you can ask if he can meet and hang out. Otherwise, there's no use of keeping up a lot of chatting when you don't know each other.

That's a tough one. If she said this, then this means she's been feeling this way for a good while. I think, unfortunately, it's best to go in separate ways. I'm sorry.

Oh OP, I'm so sorry for the divorce. That sounds very painful. Have you fully moved on and healed from your ex? Are you happy being single? Are you seeing a therapist to help you unpack? Cause your self esteem might have very well been affected by the divorce, which could explain why you are accepting unacceptable behaviour/red flags. I suggest you start there. And aside from that, give yourself some time to heal and really think what you want out of a partner, and what kind of partner you want to be. Reflect, and be kind to yourself. For the love of yourself, only go with men who meet your criteria. Anything less, "thank you, next".

Block and move on. He's not that into you, and he's clearly not in the right headspace now anyways. Time to find more available and trustworthy men.

Same. He sounds like a creep. Avoid being alone with him, and limit contact to talk only about the painting.

That definitely shows that he's a rebound. You need to be by yourself to figure out what worked, what didn't, and what YOU need in a partner. Without comparisons, without the recent baggage, and with a more level headed approach. Have fun, and take time for yourself. Maybe distance yourself from your ex so you can move on?