DarkCh0c0

I think also what's happening here, is that because you work night shifts, she's not able to have a break from the baby during the night as she has to take care of him/her too. And then during the day, OP is sleeping, and so she almost always has to take care of the baby. It's passive aggressive, but it's good to have an open loving conversation and as @DancingFool, dig your way out. It's all about communication and adapting to this stressful time in your lives.

Yup. You've given your everything into this relationship, lost yourself in the process, and he's emotionally abusive in exchange (which drains you even more). You're totally right. Trust yourself, and that you will take care of yourself. It's indeed time to leave. And, Don't worry about what he'll say. It doesn't matter as you've already made your choice, and a good one for you. So you'll have to stick to it and not bend to his guilt-tripping. Say "this is what I want" and you end the discussion. He's an adult and he'll manage. Be proud you're seeing the way out of this tunnel. Head held high. You can do it. Be easy on yourself.

Yup. I agree with @MissCanuck It's okay. We change, specially in our 20s. I'd definitely break up before the anniversary. Tell him you're not feeling this anymore, and then cut all communication so that you can slowly move forward and heal. Take care of you. Life is too short to stay in a miserable relationship.

Natalie, I suggest you try https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/ it's a quiz to fill and it'll help you see more objectively where your relationship is now.

Yup. Why do you put up with him? I'm sure, if you break up with him, your mental health will improve dramatically. He's acting like a baby, throwing tantrums and guilt tripping you. He's indeed abusive. He saw you in a good mood and wanted to ruin it. Abusive people love to suck others' energy. I suggest you take an abusive relationship score quiz from a good website. https://au.reachout.com/articles/signs-of-an-abusive-relationship for reading, and https://www.loveisrespect.org/quiz/is-your-relationship-healthy/ as a start/quiz.

You need to be physically attracted to your partner. It's one of the main ingredients for a good relationship. Nothing superficial or to feel guilty about. My friend started dating a guy recently. What did she first tell me? "He's not good looking" for her. And you know what I said? Then, don't. Don't do it. She was like "oh, but he's so nice to me, does all these things, we have so many things in common,...". It doesn't matter. One day she will start eyeing other men and we all know how that will end. Her bf will be very hurt. OP the longer you stay, the worst it'll be for both of you. Simply part ways. A good partner admires the beauty of the other. Not the opposite. It's okay to realize it's not working. It's good to honour and acknowledge your needs. It's also good to be honest with yourself and her and let each other go. Find the best way to say this... You don't have to say you're not attracted physically to her,cause I imagine how she'll feel hurt that you even slept with her all these years. I'm sorry. This has to end. Stop living a lie.

You've done the right thing. Block her and move on. There so many other interesting & interested ladies out there my friend! And you won't be their second sexless choice. Always take care of your needs and don't lose them in a relationship.

You don't. He's not partner material.

Agree. That'd be helpful to know. Are you also guys going on dates? Is this recent? (The night shifts and the passive aggressive behaviour) Otherwise, why not have a talk about it? Go out somewhere romantic, and open your hearts for each other.

Yup. You know it. It was deeply insulting and you don't deserve someone to treat you like that. At all. Healthy people who love each other would never do such thing. Maybe 1 week before I left my ex, he said something within the line of I'm not that attractive and he was considering sleeping with Russian women (there were some of them near us). Yeah. And he begged and pleaded when I left him. Dumba$$. I'm so free now and I will not settle for any man that doesn't add +++ to my life. Better off alone. Such men are worth 0 of your time and energy. Real gentlemen are out there and they wouldn't dismiss your feelings, not neglect them Nathalie. You know what to do.

That tells you that it's time to end this relationship. It's just not working. What you thought would be a good relationship, turns out not to have been so. And, what he said is indeed extremely hurtful. How inconsiderate of him. The audacity to say this to your partner!! You just have to come to terms that you're not for each other and that you have to part ways. So, Part ways and redeem yourself.

Perhaps, when you identify these triggers, instead of running away/getting anxious/isolating, lean in to your bf. Hold his hand and Tell him how you feel. If he's a supportive man (seems like it), he'll reassure you and this cycle of fear with time will be broken.

I'm sorry honey. I know it's hard. With my recent ex, I became a shell of myself. Running on some self-destruct mode. That's when I knew I had to leave. You need to do what you gotta do. Your brothers can sleep over and help you not back off. Right now your ex holds the upper hand. You are vulnerable and afraid. So ask for support. That's okay. I wish I could've asked for support, but I was newly in a foreign country. Your brothers can stay over. I'm sure once you tell them what you want, they would run over to support you and kick this mean out of your life. Find that inner courage.

I was talking about your parents. Yours will be with time if you stay in it.

Yup. Next time, tell him "yes. It's my fault. That's why this is over". And ask a friend of yours to come sleep over until he leaves within the shortest notice (1 week). You are fragile. You need help. Ask friends and family for support because he can easily manipulate you out of any situation. You don't know who you are anymore- and that's okay (happened to me too). That's why you need friends. He sleeps on the couch same day of breaking up. A friend stays with you same day until he leaves and insures you don't go back on your decision. How about that?

@MonaLisa95 it's his part of the relationship to help. He isn't doing anything extraordinary. A real man who loves you would have bought a ring and arranged some lovely dinner/outing where he would propose to you. Not ask such question while watching TV!!! I know it's hard to leave. Read my post. I was stuck in a relationship of 6 years and I was very miserable. But now months later I'm so free and happy. Perhaps you learned this toxic pattern from your parents whereby they are in a bad/loveless relationship and instead of accepting it, being honest with themselves, stopping the hurt and parting ways... They stay miserable for their own selfish reasons. You need to break the cycle my friend.

Stop "trying" to end things. You just end them. That's it. You know what's right for you. You have to acknowledge what's happening and leave this. For how long do you want to keep on playing the victim? "I see the good in blabla" that doesn't make you any better. You expected this relationship to be the one, and in so many aspects, it's not. And that's okay. You need to accept that he's just not the one for you. That together you don't mesh well and that you are toxic for each other. There are big incompatibilities.

Yep. Agree with everyone specially @lostandhurt Don't allow him to drag you on like this. Just tell him you need to focus on your studies and you're not up to this. It's not fair to both of you. You need to be single, free, and away from this drama.

You are very incompatible. We are talking about core values here. Definitely break up. It doesn't matter what he'll think of it. Iwas with someone similar and gosh it is freeing to no longer be related to/associate to a disrespectful entitled arrogant partner. It's really so freeing. So many men are out there and are NOT like this at all. + When he's like that, that's not healthy for the relationship too.

The thing is, what he did- the lying, denying, and sleeping with a cheater- tells you that you can't move on from this unless you want to overlook and ignore these red flags. These are huge red flags. If you think someone who is an honourable partner material can do what he's done and get away with it, then by all means. Brush it off as if it was an incident from him, and then surely you'll be able to move on.

I agree with @Rose MosseMosse This relationship has run its course. Yes, he's with you, but you don't trust him. And, that is, okay. The fact he hasn't reached out to even check in on you (not to talk about this, cause I agree with other posters) confirms that this is what broke the camel's back. It's like, he doesn't care. And, now you too, you see that you actually don't care and won't overlook anymore certain aspects/red flags of him and this relationship. I would end this relationship here, choose myself, and move on. As @Wiseman2 mentioned: It's just not healthy for both of you. So choose you for now.

I echo ^ So he was dating your and her at the same time? And you had to tell him you wanted to be official so that he stopped talking to her? But he's upset about it?! (So there's more going on there btw) AND he's slept with a girl who HAS a BF?! And then he lies to you all about it? But that's okay. He's a good guy. You see the good in him and choose to push under the rug aaaall the red flags. Good luck indeed. Take our sincere advice with a grain of salt and keep ignoring your healthy needs and gut feelings that got you to post here in the first place.

We're telling you, you can't. Not with this girl. She'll keep on remind you how tiny it is (not) and it'll make you doubt yourself or masculinity more and more. That feeling will stay unfortunately. So, you are trying to overlook a red flag here. And, yes, it sounds weird to break up for this but you have to for your self respect. Do not brush this off as nothing. It's more substantial than you think and says a lot about the material of the gf.

I would leave. That's very rude. And it's even worse that she says this while drunk. If she doesn't like it, then she won't get it 🙂 Save it for the real ladies.

Could have not said it any better @smackie9