DarkCh0c0

Yup. Agree. Let her get a paternity test asap OP. For all you know, that child might not even be yours if she's still in touch with other men.

Okay. You forget about that ex (he's horrible to you! Good job on leaving him), and you start making a plan. I'm sure you can make it with time and effort. I come from a similar background, and my sister is also the youngest of both of us and she is more dependent than me. But I always tell her "if you want it, you can get it". Perhaps, staying at parent's place brings comfort, less stress, and less worries about adult life. But at some point, it has to end. You choose how, however. In your case though, your mom needs to be supportive. You tell her that you're staying at the "family" house until you will successfully get back up. And say it with confidence. I also suggest you read about "inner critical voice" online. Those who grow up with toxic parents tend to have that voice that makes us believe we aren't worthy of love/good things in life and that we aren't going to "make it". But good news is, with some work, that voice can fade away and your courageous voice and character will rise. Head held high. You can do it @Blackwaterlily

I'm sorry. Your mom telling you basically she doesn't believe in you or love you unless xyz is sad and toxic. Perhaps, it's better to stop clinging to her and best to find a room in a flat-sharing asap. If you want that old job, go back and get it. I know so many employers who'd be happy to have their former employees back. You'd hit the ground running and that will be one part of your life that is stable. Listen to you, your healthy supportive voice- not the inner critic your mom has transferred to you. Trust yourself and things will fall in place with time.

How come you weren't aware of her depression before? For months? Were you not checking on each other? Talking? Hanging out?

@MB89 maybe you are simply drifting apart. She realized she wants/ values different things in life, and that's it. Perhaps her depression showed her that this isn't what she really wants for her future, you included (unfortunately). So, you can't force her into being with you. You have to accept the situation as is and work on taking care of yourself. You also need to give both of you space. I'm not sure telling her how you've been the last 5 weeks will indeed change anything. She's already one foot or of the door. As others have suggested, try not to stay under the same roof and do figure out this housing solution quickly. I'm sorry, but this is how it is. Be a man and respect her decision. There's nothing more you can do for now.

Oh my, this happened to me years ago as well. You could even less see it happening! The dude was driving, stops-by on a busy street and asks me how he can go to X place. As I was explaining, bam. Same act. And he was in a suit in a big fancy car. I thought he was really going to work lol There are just sickening men out there. Looking back I should have thrown my bottle of water or umbrella on his ** to teach him not to do it again. But there there. At least I ignored and left like you did. It's really not about us. There are so many creeps in this world. Next time, we need to teach them a lesson and embarrass them-literally- so that it discourages them from going this to others. At least, that's my take on it.

Oh, and I'm glad you can get an annulment (instead of a divorce). It's more manageable from what I know. It's not "enormous life altering" if you don't let it be so. Again, good job on acting asap.

@Atlguy you aren't a fool. You'd be one if you let yourself to be continuously used despite being aware of all of this. So get into action. Good job on figuring this out asap.

Well. That's what happens when you marry a stranger. I'm sorry to say this, but it's the truth. You can't tell someone's intentions, character, compatibility by dating online. You just can't.

Oh no. Is she that woman you posted about before and everyone warned you of? Yes. Get an annulment. Asap. It doesn't matter for the kid. She is responsible here for this and the kid can carry on his studies in Ukraine. He'll be fine. Studies are on and off anyways because of covid and again: he's not your responsibility. That woman used you to get there. Don't allow her to guilt trip you or get pity from you in any way. I'm sorry, but you had to see it for yourself. Now learn the lesson and act asap accordingly.

What? Then what are you?

Don't. He can text/call you once(within limits). No dialogues. That's it. You have to be strong and set boundaries from the beginning. Since he's a narcs, that's what they do. Very typical cause it's about him and his ego. He will guilt trip you, ask for another chance, or tell you he'll change, and all those fake promises. But you're free and don't need him or his toxicity. Stay strong. Great job.

Yup. I agree with everyone. It's a tough one, but you are posting here because you want to go but are held back by this not very supportive/satisfying relationship. I'd suggest you take the leap and live your dreams. If a man really loved you, he would've let you go or found compromises. Your partner simply doesn't want to make compromises. What does that tell you about him and his "love" for you? Moreover, you don't want to regret having not taken the offer when one day you had that chance. So, take it easy. Tell him kindly you're breaking up (don't let him guilt trip you!) and start prepping your stuff. An exciting journey is waiting for you!

@Smile4me all the way! When I read the post, I was like "wt* did I just read?!". OP this makes you sound like a controlling creep. She ain't your property. If she likes to dress this way, let it be. That's who she is and this is how she enjoys being herself. You can't change a person. As everyone else said, look inwards. You need to address your insecurities, or simply leave this relationships. Fyi If You were to give me that speech, I'd dump you too. Damn.

I'm feeling lonely. Tired and lonely 😞 This too shall pass.

I feel so sad having had to leave what was our apartment because of you, for the second time. I feel sad we never invested in buying a few stuff for any apartment we've owned, because you always told me "next year we'll be leaving the country". So, I never felt "home" with you. I feel disrespected and hurt, because you never took my feelings/needs into account. I know it's my fault too however. Should have been more assertive. I feel pity to see you reach out to me, after I've given you a chance and you blew it. You've left me broken, and hurt. Your threats, abuse, and manipulation show how needy you are, and how much you lack confidence. I deserve better. I'll be better. May you find your own peace. Thank you for all the lessons. Thank you for showing me the way to a more healthy life. It'll be a tough ride, but I'm in. I wish will you well. Youwere once my only man. I dreamed of us if growing old and living in a nice green house with animals. Ah well, guess I'll do it by myself.