DarkCh0c0

Yea. A real man would have known how to put an end to this. And, The fact that he cut all contact with you shows you he's busy with someone else. Otherwise, he could have kept communication level normal (maybe less calls because the family is around، but messages instead). My advice: follow, trust, and honour your gut.

That's deep.

Okay. Let's flip the coin. You're his wife, have his children and he's going out with a mistress. What would you as the wife think of him? Is he still that respectful man? If yes, then you need therapy cause you still have a looong way to go. And, this man is giving you a bs excuse to why he won't leave his wife. He just doesn't want to- for whatever reason. You just aren't worth the trouble. Let that sink in.

Exactly! And I'm sure if he tells her that he'll call emergency, she will refuse. It's all a pity act to guilt trip OP and make him sound like the bad guy OP you are NOT the bad guy. They are with their reaction. Don't fall for it.

He's as unhealthy as his daughter. He doesn't even want to get her the needed professional help and is blaming / guilt-tripping you! Stop any sort of conversation. You now have nothing to do with him. Block him. Again: they will survive.

Yup. Don't let him guilt trip you. It's his responsibility to care for her, and not you. And it's really nasty and evil from him to pull such card against you!!! She's in good care. She's an adult. She will figure it out. And, You've done a good job. You need to think of you and put your needs first. It's difficult, but you'll see. She'll survive. When I left my ex, he threatened to kill himself and his parents called me telling me not to leave him. I refused and blocked all of them. Months later, he's out there traveling like nothing happened. He survived. Ofc he can, and so will your gf.

Well, you can tell her that you enjoy it but would like to tone it down a bit. From daily, to every other day for example. See how she reacts. It's important you assure her that you love doing it, you love her, and that she's still desired. But you have different needs, so you guys need to find a middle-ground/ compromise. And, It's okay. As Wiseman also suggested, maybe you can do other activities than sex as well.

OP, you are not her care taker. You are not responsible of her. She is an adult and will figure it out. She is NOT your responsibility. Your responsibility in this relationship is to honour yourself and your feelings, and break up. You give her 1 month to get out and that's it. You cut all contact afterward and you don't fall for her games. I'm sorry, but you need to respect yourself and end it. It's not what you would have wanted it to be, and that's okay. That's what being in a relationship is sometimes like. You have to find that inner strength and let go.

This is getting more and more ridiculous with the anonymous replies... You can't tell if it's OP or not, and that's not practical (although I do think it's OP).

@mical thanks for sharing! That first CEO sure sounds like a nightmare. Will keep your tips in mind.

@Pleasedonot5 thank you for sharing. That was insightful. I have put my foot down on some things my parents have done recently, but it's difficult/exhausting for me to always put my foot down. So, I agree to disagree with them. Even when I put my foot down, they don't understand where I am coming from. @mical do share 🙂

Lol!

@waffle I have a feeling that OP is a man and is the same bumhurt anonymous who posted before about how posters here aren't fair to men in general.

@Rose Mosse exactly. They project on us all their needs and insecurities. Gotta keep the folks at arm's length.

@Rose Mosse oh yes, well alive. They're the main topic in my therapy. They are toxic and all I can do is see them as humans and agree to disagree with them. When I talk to my mom specially, I'm often reminded by her that I'm a failure and that she always wants me to be something else- even if I say that I'm happy with how things are and that I appreciate her concerns. Regardless of that, talking with her reminds me of my trauma and reinforces it. So, I'm learning to deal with it slowly and see it for what it is. I'll never be enough for them, but I'll be enough for me. Our contact is limited for very much the above reasons.

@Rose Mosse yes. It's scary. It's like I opened a door and now I see all the mess behind it. And once the anxiety and tears are here, those gates are hard to close! I'll figure it. I must. It'll take time.

Euuumm break up? End this roller coaster? Find someone with whom you don't have to fight for her attention? The relationship didn't turn out to be as expected. And, that's okay. It's normal. You need to set each other free instead of staying stuck in toxic cycles. So go, set each other free.

He doesn't realize it? Honey, he isn't 15. He knows what he's doing, and to get away from consequences he makes you sound like the bad guy. When in reality, it's him! Someone who loves you doesn't keep contact with ex's, and doesn't take you for granted. As wiseman suggested, it's time to take care of you and seek better things in life. It's scary, cause you haven't know other partners/things in life as you committed yourself to him from a young age. But, there's so much better for you out there. Let your family and friends help you out of this relationship and stop *falling for his lies. You are better and smarter than this.

Where are the lack of trust come from? Did he lie/cheat before? If you're not happy in the relationship, and he doesn't care, then this relationship has come to an end. He takes you too much for granted.

This ^ You can find buddies or go on a trip alone, but instead you're thinking about doing it with other women.. whatever it is. As if the grass is greener on the other side. Your wife could travel and wait for you at the hotel or at the end line. What's wrong with that?. > You have other and deeper marriage concerns than hobbies. Explore these and be honest with yourself and your wife, instead of fantasizing about other women as a bandaid.

@Tinydance I thought you might like this https://www.calmmoment.com/wellbeing/11-best-podcasts-for-wellbeing/

Hello everyone, I woke up today after being sad for the days and cried again.. except this time, I'm realising why I'm sad. The manager's coldness and his team's reminds me of my mom who gave up on me and told me (briefly) I couldn't make it in life when I was 18. When people come off as very cold, I blame myself and think that these people, more than others, don't believe in me and will treat me badly like my mom did as a punishment. That I'll never be enough and they'll make fun of me/give up on me too. I have a long way to heal my trauma, but it'll be worth it.

Yup. Maybe you need to re-adjust with a therapist what a healthy relationship is for you, and what you can and cannot accept in a man. Also, with practice, as soon as you see major imcompatibilities, you'll learn to say no from the get go. In the meantime, you could focus on being happy with yourself. When you're happy with your life, and you start dating a man who doesn't add much to your happy life, then you'd know that he's not for you. But you need to be healthy and happy with yourself and not be desperate to be in a relationship. finally, a relationship is a work of two. So not all the weight of the past relationships had to do with you. The other partners have a share in that too.

Tiny, it's better to unfold these issues with a therapist. I know it helps me too. Nonetheless, if your father was absent and uncaring, maybe you go out of your way to seek love from partners who are similar to him? And try to fix your past without realising it? Or you seek such partners because you don't know better? What a better and healthier version of love is like? I remember your last partner was into drugs and didn't seem to care about you. The one you just broke up with seemed to tell you how much of a "nice" man he was and you should almost owe him your life. A cat can be nice too! Smh. None of them really made you feel loved or special + there were incompatibilities, but these you can learn quickly to detect with time.

Boltnrun, trust has been broken. There's nothing to be worked on here.