I might be making this bigger than it needs to be but...some context: I've been with this person for 2+ years he always has had anger issues but its gotten so much better. That being said, he does this thing where if he's had a bad day or something happened he is visibly upset and acts as if I'm the one who has made him angry. I can always tell right off the bat if its going to be one of those days, I've offered to help him find therapy, I've bought him a punching bag, I communicated my boundaries that venting is okay with me but not misdirected anger. He says he understands and he is working on it, and to be fair, he has been working on it and slowly improving. Lately, I've been really overwhelmed with school, work and family life to where I haven't really had time for myself. My therapist has been pushing for me to try and make time to make time for myself but I've been struggling with it. Today was the first day I tried that and after an emotionally draining day at work I was looking forward to it. In the morning I felt something was off with his responses, but he has told me multiple times that asking him if he wants to talk about anything or acknowledge his mood shift it makes it worse, so I push through and keep with the optimism. Towards the end of my shift (he didn't work today so I was going to pick him up to go and just eat some pizza by the beach for an hour). I called him and asked if he still wanted to go and reassured him it wouldn't be a big deal if he doesn't because I needed to catch up on a lot of things anyway. He said "sure" so I told him he can just let me know if he changes his mind. I pick him up and he is replying with one word sentences and not really engaging in conversation. I tried staying on positive topics of how I see myself improving my self esteem at work but tbh I'm starting to get frustrated, conversations about how his day went seemed to be something he didn't want to talk about so I didn't push it.
TLDR: Once we got the pizza we parked by the beach, and I was going to roll the windows of my car up, I didn't notice he has his elbow there so when I rolled it up he bumped it and got mad, he didn't want to eat the pizza. I said it was an accident and that I was sorry. he said that he knows it was accident and that he forgives me but he can still be mad and that he still has the right to have his emotions because he can't control it. And he's right no one should have to apologize for how they feel, but at the same time, I feel like something like this has happened to everyone, and it is something so small that ruined his mood completely you know? This made be really upset because I kept thinking "I'm an hour behind on things I need to do, for THIS?". This isn't the first time something like this has happened but I think since I have been overly stressed I can't handle anything else on top of it. Am I being selfish or an *sshole? Am I essentially asking him to turn off his emotions? Idk what to do tbh...
