codaaurora

Wow Well, first off, I have to say that you seem like an intelligent, thoughtful and insightful girl. So my first question would be, why do you want to stay with someone who can't even get their own life together at 32, let alone starting a life with you? I know that you love and care for him, but what about loving yourself? Sometimes tough love is the only way to go. You know, you both will continue to have these problems, throughout your relationship, until he gets some self-confidence/self-worth. I don't think he's concerned with working on that right now. I mean, he's had the support of a loving woman for 18 months and he STILL couldn't get a job? Any job? Just a little crappy part time job? I mean, what is he waiting for? It didn't even have to be in his field. He's maxed out his credit cards and has no job for almost 2 years. What kind of a life is that? That bespeaks someone with some serious problems. You need to recognize that while you love him and want to be with him, you deserve to have a somewhat stable future and he can't even come close to offering you that right now. Plus, he is putting you through this indecisive crude. "I want to be with you but I don't". You need to take charge of your life. You need to say to yourself, I love him but he is not good for me right now and I can't help him anymore than I have. Trust me, if you guys stayed to together and he continues on the path that he has chosen for the present, the resentment will start to show more and more in your voice (as I'm sure it has in the past, and really that's to be expected with his behaviour, but is not good for a healthy relationship). What this comes down to is that you guys are not right for each other right now. That doesn't mean that it can't change in the future, but for right now you need to let him go. I am so sorry that this is happening. I am so very sorry.

the fuzzy beanbag??? LOLOL Dork! I'm going to a magic show and dinner tonight with a bunch of guy friends from work. Then we are going to stop by Dave and Busters for a drink with another group of people from work and then it off to home I go! I'm going to get my oil changed tomorrow, I SWEAR IT! I've been putting that off for too long and if my dad knew, my butt would b toast. Then after doing that, I'm going to the beach to take some more pictures. I might volunteer this weekend with the German Shepherd Rescue. Probably will do my laundry saturday night. Then after doing all that....I'm going to VEG OUT! Totally sit around in my PJ's watching movies, smoking and doing nothing!!! LOL What about you guys? What plans do you have?

BLUE Man, I am so proud of you! You did great! I know how hard that meeting must have been. To you, at that moment, it was quite possibly the last time you would see or hold her. Those feelings are very hard. BUT, you can't possibly know that unless your a fortune teller or have written a program that predicts the future. What you need to do now is work on YOU. Start getting involved in your own life. Take YOURSELF out on dates. Do what YOU like to do, watch what YOU like to watch, go where YOU like to go. Now's the time to spoil yourself. One of the biggest mistakes we make (as in we the dumpees) is to wallow in our pain, to concentrate on only the object of our affection, to put them up on a pedastal and make them more than they are. So what you need to do now, which is something that I did, is to make myself happy. I watched movies that he never liked and never wanted to watch. I started writing a book. I have a camera and started going out to the beach to take pictures or to different parks. I read a tone of self help books on attitude and self confidence and of course, how to win my ex back. ( ) I started volunterring with a dog rescue (German Shepherd Rescue). This might be the one thing that really turned me around. Working with these animals, who were so abused and neglected but still willing to give you unconditional love and acceptance, well, that's an eye opener. They needed me as much as I needed them. I would go to the boarding facility pick up one or two dogs, drive to the nearest McDonalds, buy them both some burgers and take them to the park for some BIG time spoiling. However, at first, I thought I was spoiling the dogs, then I realized, it was them who was spoiling me. Volunteering is a selfless act of love and when you do it, you can't help but to feel how much better life is for you and those you help. Consider it ok? Anyway, thank you for those encouraging words. I think that your right, I know that it did hurt him very badly when I went out with someone else. I know that he thought I lied to him about my relationship with that other person. I did lie about it being a date because I didn't know how to tell him, but it was an innocent date and I got a kiss at the end but nothing major. I eventually told him everything that happened (as he kept nagging me) and at the time he was happy that I had finally told him everything but then later when we started to break up again and it was from his end, he kept focusing on how I had lied to him, not how I had told him w/in two weeks everything (and there wasn't that much to tell). Either way, I know that he has since done things to hurt me as much as possible. He left me on Christmas to go spend the day with family that he never talks to or sees (my family is in VA and we live in CA) so I was alone. He started a fight with me on New Years Eve. He said mean and vicious things. So I've always felt like he was trying to hurt me. I just thought that it was to be mean and make me pay for hurting him. I never saw it from the perpective of him trying to see whether I loved him or not. I mean, he knows that there is only so far he can push me, whether I love him or not. I'm wondering if he is waiting to see how long I will stick around "loving" him. He always said (until the very end when he called everything off) that he wanted 6 months, he mentioned 6 months in reference to other things recently, he only signed a lease for 6 months on his apartment, even though he knows that rent will go up drastically at the end of that and that he won't be able to afford it anymore. Six months will be August. I think after loving someone for 9 years, I can wait and see what happens then.

Hello.... Wow, well first off your feelings are a state of mind. You wouldn't believe the things that your mind can accomplish, both for good and bad. You sound as if you may need some professional counseling to deal with possible depression issues, however I am not a licensed professional, only a student so can't guide you there. One of my professors handed out this site, and while some of the information is a little different for my tastes, the general theme is right on. link removed One of the things that you need to keep in mind is that we are ALL worthy. We all have a right to be here and exist as ourselves. Think of it this way, the person standing next to you that seems so much better than you in all ways (many ways, numerous ways, or even one way), you need to look at them like an actor would an audience. Picture them in their underwear! Do you honestly think that they didn't poop their pants when they were babies? That they didn't puke when they were kids? That they were never grounded or in trouble with their parents? That they didnt fail a test or many of them? Mess up with a girlfriend/boyfriend. Feel like a geek in High School? Get berated by a boss at some point? Do you honestly think thats possible? I know for a fact that it's not possible. We are all human. We all mess up. We all go through this crap at some point. Some people are better at hiding it. Some have a better perspective in life and are able to turn something bad into something good. What you need to do is finally recognize that you are pretty cool just as you are (unless your like an ax murderer or wife beater, that's not cool but you get my point). So what if your weird? You are the spice in life my friend. You are what adds the flavor a boring world. Embrace who you are. Once you do, I promise that glass is going to look ALL full instead of just half.

For me personally, whenever I hear a song that reminds me of my ex, I leave the song on to play. Yes, it makes me sad, yes I think of the ex for the rest of the day and sometimes for days afterwards, but I've been noticing that the pain is less and less each time I face it head on. I think if we turn our backs on experiencing our pain, we aren't truly dealing with it, we are shoving it under the carpet so to speak. That means that it is always there, in the back of our minds, nagging at us. Whereas if we face our pain, own it, deal with it as it comes, we slowly but surely are able to clean house.

I agree with DN on everything except this one point. Never assume anything unless it's your last resort. If you are still able to talk to him, communication is always the best first step to anything. Try to talk to him, let him know that it's not about getting back together, but rather to just understand things better for your own peace of mind. If he can't or you can't, well, then you have no choice but to assume the worst and begin your journey to heal. But remember, talking is always best. Then there can be no resentment and if you try to talk and he refuses for whatever reason (and remember that's his right) then you have your answer, even if it's not the one you were looking for or even wanted.

Keefy, yeah, since about last Tuesday (excluding Sunday cause I told him Saturday not to call me the rest of the weekend cause I was sick of him and his 22 year old ex gf's drama), he has called me every day. Even if it's only for a few minutes or so. He called me on Monday and left me two funny messages on my phone, one being that they are doing a TV series based on Star Wars and that he was the first to tell me MUAW HAHAH. But Keefy, what about the disagreement that we had on Tuesday when he kept threatening me with "After this we're done, no more hanging out, blah blah blah" or the one that really hurt me which was "You know the answer to that, I kept trying to send you home or move out for years." when I said something about our time together in response to a comment he made. He told me when we finally broke up that he hadn't been "In-love" with me for years. I replied to the previous statement by saying, yes but you never put me on a plane and you always came back and never moved out. And to that he replied that I killed that when I broke up with him to go out with J.U. (which he knows is not true but still insists that that was what the case was). Then he brings up...."Coda, didn't you ever wonder why we never got married, maybe there is your answer." To which I replied with the answer that he always gave me about being afraid of divorce and how often we fought he thought we would eventually and that he never in all the years we were together say that it was because he didn't love me anymore. Plus, last year he wanted to go to Vegas to get married and stupid me said no. ( ](*,) ) AND the fact that he cried at the beginning of our break up and tried so hard to get me back. I don't know, it just doesn't make sense. I need to talk to you again about that stuff. I get it all confused in my head and then start questioning and second guessing stuff.

BLUE, you can do this! Stay strong, listen to strong music on the way over there, kick ass, angry music! Empowering music. I like to listen to Evanescence or one of the Charlie's Angels soundtracks and then I fell empowered and strong when having to deal with these stressfull situations.

VHS I had been seeing this guy named Jason for about 2 and a half months but it's always been understood that I wasn't ready for a physical/serious relationship and he pushed me about it on Tuesday and I didn't back down. I'm tired of caving. Anyway, I told him maybe we shouldn't see each other or a while and he got very upset and said that maybe we shouldn't see each other at all. I said ok, I'm sorry you feel that way and we hung up. He has since called my phone but I'm not answering. I sent him an email this morning telling him that I'm not ready to talk to him right now and will call him next week.

Keefy hon, it is a good thing. It means that you flustered her enough with the compliment that she couldn't immediately respond in kind. She then went home and thought about it. Thought about your comment, pictured you in her mind and then the senses became aware that you had smelled great too (even though she knew it at the time). That sort of comment is not just something that comes out of the blue, like "Oh, I need to compliment him back, think of something quick". It's something that she thought about. This means that you are in her thoughts in a good way. That she is associating good things with you. That she finds you attractive, even if it's by smell only. So yes, it's a very good thing! Now you tell me what you think of him checking myspace blog, seeing that Jas and I are no longer seeing each other and then calling me last night to see if I was ok and asking me about it twice. Sounding sweet and concerned. Is that something that just a "ex turned friend" would do? Is it a good thing? From a guys perspective.....

So you gave him the key and a week later he broke it off with you. Do you see the common thread here? He got cold feet. I can't tell you if he's going to ever come back to you, only he can tell you that. If you can, talk to him about it. Ask him if that was what the problem was, tell him what you told us.....that you were happy just being with him. If not, then you need to understand that sometimes in life we just don't get the answers that we want. I should know. In the meantime, start healing, do NC if you have to. But rediscover yourself and how happy you can be.

Nope, doesn't change a thing. It's a territorial thing. Women get it too. Even if we do not want something right now, we MIGHT want it later and it USED to be ours so HANDS OFF!!! Plus, if she still has feelings for you, you giving your attention to anyone or anything other than her is going to cause her to react that way too. OR, if she is just a possesive person, or a manipulator, she will resent not getting the attention that she things she deserves. It could be any of those things, a combonation of them or none of them, but I strongly suggest the first one. ALL women are like that, in their darkest heart, where some with not admit it.

Okay, first I want to let you all know that I did NOT write this letter although I wish I had. It's beautiful and has helped me ever since finding it posted here on NotAlone. To whomever wrote it/posted it, thank you for helping me in my darkest hour. I copied it and pasted it to my desktop and read it every morning and night, or whenever I needed it most. I hope this helps the rest of like it helped me.... ----------------------------------- Edit: kamurj Text already posted at link removed

I have a question, you guys were supposed to move in together after he graduates in a couple of months right? So when did you give him the key to your apartment? Was it a long time ago? Recently? His reaction tells me that it scared the ever living you know what out of him. That it really made him focus on where you two were heading. The main thing that you have to keep in mind is that you can and will survive this, whether you two ever get back together again. I promise. I know, I've been there and it wasn't that long ago and I am surviving. I have my good days and my bad days, but it's slowly starting to be more good than bad. You know, I read a letter posted on here not to long ago. It was beautiful and really helped me. I'm going to post it on the General Forum, look for it and read it. I'll call it "Healing Letter to Myself". Let me know if you ever need any other advice. We are all here for one another.

Rickster, I'm going to have to disagree with you on this one. I had a long distance relationship with someone. He was in Adak Alaska while I was in Virginia. We did this for over a year and made it work. Yes, our phone bills were high and this was back when you got charged for each email that you sent so that was high too, and we didn't have much money to visit, but we made it work because we were committed to making it work. We wrote letters and sent packages with pictures every week, we called, we emailed. My best friend from childhood made her's work, her fiance got stationed in Australia for three years at a service member's only station and she only got to see him three times in three years, at the end of his tour there, he came home and they were married. They never broke up, stayed committed to each other, sent packages, letters and made phone calls and here they are...10 years later and still married. I think each situation is different, you should never regret a decision that you made to better yourself. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity, you can't go back to that when you older. If it was going to work, it was going to work either together or separate. LDR's you really have to work hard at, spend money on and focus on but they are possible. Keep in mind, that nothing is set, we determine our own future. So if you miss her and still love her....have you told her?

Thanks for that BLUE. I'm sure that he was concerned for me, but I wonder if it's just friendship concern or "I still have feelings for this girl" concern. I guess I just wont' know right now. Maybe never. But it made me miss him very badly last night. THAT was the K I know and love. About this one. GOD I hate to say this, I mean it's really going to hurt me as a woman, but this statement was a Gambit. She was jealous that you were taking time away from her to help a now single girl. No matter how bad the other girls issues, she is still the other girl and YOUR girl got jealous. So she made a play to get your attention and it worked. Ever heard of the term Feminine Wiles? She played you're emotions like a violin, however (!) you did not respond like a well tuned instrument and for that you should pat yourself on the back! You didn't jump right in there and ask her what that meant, you didn't call her just to finish the conversation, you held your ground. Now, taking in tonight, I know what you said about how you would put off doing things with her and take her for granted so if she asked tonight and you said no it would show that you hadn't changed, right? Okay, but now the situation is different and she knows it just as well as you or I. If she says anything tonight, it's not being fair to you and she knows that too. I'd be pretty darn mad actually. Do you actually think she doesn't know how you feel about her? I mean, it's not like you haven't TOLD her or anything right???? Probably, like the rest of us, numerous times...yes? So, is she stupid or just forgetful? She's neither and you and I both know it! She is having her cake and eating it too. Whatever euphanism you want to use here is appropriate. This does not make her a bad person (although the more I hear about this little manipulator the less I like her, but to each his/her own), it just makes her human. Blue, hon, when you go to pick up your TV you need to have several different scenarios open and ready in your head. That way you are not surprised. 1) You go to pick it up and she doesn't say anything about you and she going out and it's all just chit chat. Keep it light, keep a smile on your face, seem upbeat and happy. Don't give out any personal information. Just keep it light and fun, then say you have to run, but that it was really nice talking to and seeing her. You can either give her a hug or not, depending on how you feel but DO NOT reach in for a kiss!! 2) You go to pick it up and she does ask about going to hang out somewhere, anywhere. You say, in your own words..."You know (insert name here) how much I would really like to spend time with you but I just don't think it would be right for me to do that right now." If she asks why or what does that mean you say, again in your own words..."You know how much I care for you and right now I just need to heal before I can be your friend." Do NOT use the words "get over you" as this will cause her to go on the defensive and probably pick a fight. 3) You go to pick it up and she is a major BEEOTCH. You say, again in your own words....."You know, I'm really sorry you feel this way and I'll just get my tv and let you have some space. I hope you have a better day though." and if she keeps witching at you or saying mean things or following you around (which we women have a habit of doing) just keep your mouth shut, don't give any dirty looks, get your tv and leave. Stick to that one sentance or vary it but keep the theme. If there are any other scenario's you can think of, bring them to my attention and I'll give you an answer on how to handle them. But whatever you do Blue, you need to decide within your self that you are WORTH taking some time away to heal. That you DESERVE to heal. That you don't owe her ANYTHING anymore. OK? You don't. Your relationship is done, the minute it ended, anything that you used to do for her, with her is no longer a part of the deal and she can't guilt you into it.

UPDATE Okay, so yesterday I posted on myspace about my "break" up with J. It just basically went over how I felt, how it was sad and all but that I am tired of caving in to what other people want and won't do it anymore. So last night, around 7pm, I got a phone call from the ex. He immediately asked me if I was ok. I said yeah, I'm alright, and he said are you sure? I said yes, I think so. He then asked what I was doing and I said that I was reading and that resting after working out. He asked about our pets and I discussed with him a problem I was having with one of the girls and he gave me some good advice there. Then he said that he better let me go and I said ok and goodnight, he said the same and we hung up. The entire time we were talking, he had this sweet, tender tone to his voice. You know, I figured he would read that post but I thought he would be happy (as I told you that he doesn't like J) and that I wouldn't hear from him. I wonder why he called? What do you think? How is everyone else?

Keefy hon, I can't believe that you blocked her from your email!!! Not saying that you should or shouldn't have, I just never expected that from you. But it shows that you are beginning to be stronger in your convictions and that is a good thing. You know, things change so frequently for us and we just need to realize that it's going to take time for us to feel better. We're still going to have our ups and downs. Like this morning I was happy, I felt great, but then this afternoon I saw something from the past and it hit me, that was when K and I were together and we're not anymore. We went to that together and had so much fun...has it really been that long? That made me sad and miss him all over again. See? Life is ever changing and we change with it.

BLUE I know that what you say is probably true, however, keeping in touch with her is not allowing you to heal and you can't be with anyone, not even her, if you're not healed. Tell her that you need to take some time to yourself, that you're sorry for any pain that you had caused in the past, for neglecting her and that you aren't saying that you are neglecting her again now, but that for your own sanity, you need to take some time to just be alone. If she doesn't understand that, if it makes her resentful, then you didn't want her anyway BLUE. However, you never know about love, it might make her push away from you....yes this is true, but that doesn't mean that things won't change in the future. Also, the "being with someone else" thing. I know that this bother's you, but you need to keep in mind that you are no longer with her. Would you have held it against her if she had been with other people before ever going out with you? I'm pretty sure you wouldn't. There is no reason to be that way now. She's not yours anymore right now. She's free to do what she wants. You need to recognize that. You also need to recognize that the same goes for you hon. This is the reason why you need NC, you need time and space to think about what you want out of life, love and your own future.

UPDATE So the ex called yesterday for help with his tires/rim, I went to meet him at the place and found that they were closing, so he made some phone calls and decided on SEARS and we drove up to Brea to get that done. I was paying for it on my credit card and he wrote me post dated check (as he didn't have the cash right now to pay for it). We got there and they wouldn't let me pay before hand so we were stuck with each other for two hours, walking around the Brea Mall. He kept brining up they guys I'm seeing, especially one of them and even asked if I bug him about looking at rings (I used to bug my ex all the time to go and look at rings, but we were engaged for gosh sakes) and I told him no, that I didn't and dropped it. He kept asking me questions about my friend Jason, making comments about him being stupid and how much he hates him pretty much all night long, even during dinner. I finally told him I was going to eat and he could come along if he wanted so we went to California Pizza Kitchen. They first part of the meal was great, we had fun, but then towards the end he kept trying to ask for my advice on dating and I kept telling him no. That I didn't feel comforatable doing that right now as I still had feelings for him and can we please change the subject. I had to ask him that 5 times!! He finally got pissed and said that I was being mean and vindictive for not helping him and I just wanted to see him fail. I said to believe whatever he wanted about me. Then he said that after tonight we were done, no more visiting or hanging out, blah blah blah. So I said "K, look at me, you are looking at someone that doesn't have a problem with that." So then he started hemming and hawing and changing his tone and then trying to threaten me again with not being friends anymore. I said fine. Finally we made it out of there and on the way back to SEARS I told him that back when we were breaking up, he didn't want to hear or discuss our future and I respected that, that it's now a two way street and he needs to respect me and what I don't want to hear. He was quiet for a long time. After I had paid and inspected the car, he came up and said thank you for helping me, I appreciate it. So, even though it did not go well, even though we argued, I'm not upset about it. If that harmed anything, well then, that's just the way it is. Either way, now all things important are done and I am going back into NC with him. I just am through with the drama and apparently he's not.

BLUE If you absolutely have to say something to her, then this is your safest bet... While what you wrote is beautiful and from the heart, it is also a blatant plead to hear your heart and respond. You're giving her one more chance to change her mind by reminding her of your happy past and how happy the future could be. She already knows all of this Blue. You saying it isn't going to change a darn thing. She is playing you and she knows it, we know it and you know it. This statement here.... that is just plain childish. It's the same thing that my ex does to me, plays the card of guilt. They know better than anyone which buttons to push to get what they want. What we need to do is stop reacting to it. If you can't do this, then NC will help you get to that point. You will have low days and high days. It will be hard. But that's what we are here for. Please stop talking to her after getting the TV Blue. You can get Insurance that won't cost you as much money as the Drama you are getting out of the present situation. Go to Progressive to get a quote for several different companies. Please do this BLUE, for your own sanity.

No you dork!!! I was laughing at what crash said! Anyway, you know I love you guys too much to ever do that to you. I'm glad that you were able to get through talking to her this morning without going off the deep end and doing something foolish! I'm so proud of you! Your doing so good Keith! Keep it up okay hon? And remember, she might have had to go down there for her job, but she didn't have to talk to you any more than hello and she definitely didn't have to wear the diamonds. LOL OK?

\ It feels very good to laugh! Thanks guys!

Keefy, Most definitely man. I am finally in control and it feels wonderful. Don't get me wrong, I in no way think that I am in control of him, but I am definitely in control of my feelings for and towards him. The funniest thing is, you know I told you that he asked me to cancel that claim on Saturday so I did and called him back and let him know that I had. Low and Behold, he calls me today all funny and joking, saying that he got info in the mail about the claim and if he should us it and did I cancel the claim! LOL I called him when I knew he wouldn't answer and left him a message that "Yes, I did cancel the claim, don't you remember, I told you Saturday? Boy, making yourself 5 years younger on your profile isn't doing much for your memory huh?? " and I laughed and then hung up. I feel so much better! So much more in control of my life and feelings and emotions! This is great! How are you my boys?

UPDATE Are you ready for this??? I mean, I've been laughing all morning. He called me yesterday. On my home phone cause he knows that I don't have caller ID on that. I answered ( #-o ) and he asks me how I'm doing. I said "Good, what's up?". He asks me what I'm doing so I tell him I'm busy writing, and again ask him what's up. He then asks if he can use my car tomorrow (Today/Tuesday). Okay, so I'm thinking that it's for the repair of his car (remember the tire and rims?) and so I'm like "What time will you have it back?" and he said that it would def be before I got off from work. I asked how he can know that for sure unless his appointment was for early in the morning. He hemmed and hawed and said that it wasn't for the car and I said what is it for K? He then told me he needed to go to LA and when I asked why, he told me it was none of my business and stop trying to get involved in his personal matters. I was like, "Are you kidding me? You ask to use MY car and then have the audacity to tell me to stop trying to get involved in your personal matters? You are insane, calling me to ask to use my car to go and meet a chick in LA". So then I said "Uh Yeah, that's gonna be a NO, next question?" and he got all upset and said it shouldn't matter how he uses the car as long as nobody is in it and I laughed and told him good night. I hung up. I then went back to work on writing on my computer, I had signed on earlier looking for you guys and low and behold, who signs on and starts writing to me. NOW here is another funny little tidbit, he used the Yahoo Personals Environment and so part of his new profile came up (cause you know he's on the prowl again) and it showed him as being 30!!!!!! I almost peed my pants laughing!!! I didn't repsond to what he wrote but DID write this..."So, your 30 now? Funny how you age backwards! Who's the liar now K?" and then made myself invisible, but he kept writing to me and silly me I kept answering but I tell you what, I was being a little bit of a mouthy B to him. AND HE KEPT COMING BACK FOR MORE. I even at one point told him that I was busy, that I made myself invisible for a reason and for him to have fun ruining his car tomorrow driving it to LA on a donut and closed the session. He wrote to my other screen name!!!! ROFLMAO. So I finally told him that I was busy, have a good night and signed off of everything. I then gave up writing for the night cause honestly I was laughing so much from his BS and HE CALLED ME ON THE PHONE!!!! He tried to joke around with me, asked me how fast he could go on the donut, what was too fast, what it could do to his car, whatever he could do to keep me on the phone until I finally laughed and said that I had to go. He said ok, good night and I said BYE (laughing) and hung up. I mean how FUNNY is that? LOLOL The meaner I am to him (and by mean, I mean Coda style mean, which is not giving into his every whim, not being at his beck and call, not saying "Oh K, what's up with you, how are you, how can I help you, tell me all about it" but instead saying "You called, what's up?")....the less I put up with his BS.....the more he calls me/contacts me/texts me. It's hilarious. Don't worry though, I'm not putting all my eggs in this basket. Yesterday, when I told him that I wasn't giving him my car so he could go and meet a chick, he told me that we aren't an "item" any more and that I should stop being concerned with his personal life. The old Coda would have said something complacent. The new Coda said "Well then, stop calling me and dragging me into your personal life then." LOL So did I do good? LOL