codaaurora

Hey V! I'm glad to hear that you handled her and her Bee Otching so well!!! HAHA, you know, a woman who tells ya all that stuff is looking for sympathy and why would she want sympathy from you? Things that make you go hmmm? The only time I ever played the sympathy card was when things were getting desperate and I felt the guy pulling away from me. You're doing the right thing here V. Go to Vegas and have fun! Dont' worry about anything and just immerse yourself in the "now". Also, keep the positive attitude up!

Chai, If I was acting like a horses butt to someone who had been nothing but kind and giving to me, then yes, I would appreciate them giving me a little perspective. I wouldn't at the time, but later I would. That's living in a fantasy world. Also, I'm not so concerned with getting back with him anymore. Like I said, I love and miss him, but am sick of him walking around like he owns me and is choosing not to be with me...at this time. I had had it. Plus, There are some other issues that have been going on with him for the past couple of weeks that V, Keefy and Blue know about. Trust me, it was high time for him to get pushed off of his pedastal. If that means I've lost him, then so be it. I just wanted to know a perspective, not so I could fix it, but so I could prepare myself mentally for all eventualities. ~Coda

Keefy, Thanks! Exactly my point, K has spent a long time thinking that he is the "Top Dog" and has been treating like that. He told me once, during an dispute in which I remained calm and in control and he was the one freaking out, that by me laying down the law and not letting him get away with BS had really made me more attractive to him then ever. I have been a doormat for him since we moved out. I haven't stood up to him the way I should have for fear of loosing him. But you know what? I'm not so afraid of that anymore. I AM tired of being used and treated badly by him and am glad on some level that I told him the way it is. He needed to hear me say that. He had somehow gotten it into his head that I was spending all my time thinking about him and doing things to learn about him, when I hadn't been at all. I hadn't called him out of the blue since back in Feb., but he was thinking that every call I made was like that when really it was me returning his phone calls (usually after a day or so). That I hardly ever emailed him (I've sent three and two were to reply to him and one was to send him pictures that I knew he would want, but with no message in the body, just a forward). I needed to point out to him that he was wrong in thinking the way he was, because I think that was causing him to treat me with disdain. Now he knows that it wasn't like that at all and I hope it shook him. He needs to be woken up a little bit and realize that he is NOT the end all be all of everything to me. He's not. I love him. I miss him. I want to be with him. BUT not at the expense of ANYTHING in my life. I'm done with that. Thanks to you both tho, I'm not going to be calling him anytime in the near future, he is supposed to call me tomorrow about his tire/rim (this was from Friday, since Saturday that could have changed), I don't want to be a B and not return that phone call but I'm not going to jump on his call either. He can just wait until I'm ready to call him.

Thank you for that Chai. Do you think what I said maybe shook him up any? Maybe made him see that I'm not holding on and waiting for him? Do you think it scared him any? I mean, K would normally be interrupting me at every turn, but during this one he was quiet and when he did say something or anything it was kind of in that petulant, childish, I'm not liking this way. Plus, he still can't say that we will never be together in the future. And, he told me "Fine, be with Jason, I don't care, he's a stupid idiot anyway, that dumb MF, I hate him". That just oozes jealousy to me. The last time I talked to him like that was back in November when we got back together. He said that I scared him and impressed him and turned him on with how strong and committed I was to my convictions. Do you think, with him being so prideful, that what I did this time drove him away or made him wake up that I'm not pursuing him like he likes to believe I am?

Hey guys, trust me, I'm not going to be calling him. I didn't all weekend, as a matter of fact, I didn't worry about it that much either. I talked to Keefy for a little bit on Saturday and he helped me work past most of my being upset. Anyway, I just wanted a guys opinion about whether I messed up all possible hope of a future by saying what I did. Either way, I meant it and am standing by it.

Oh and one other thing, he kept saying that I need to move on and not be so concerned in his life and I asked him to name me one time that I called him without him calling me first and ASKING for me to call him back. He shut up then, but that wasn't good enough, I said it again, "K, tell me one time that I called you without you first asking me too, I want to hear you say it cause we both know what the answer is to that. I want to hear you say it so we both know that you aren't living your little fantasy of me living my life around what you are doing, calling you or emailing you or following you. I want you to tell me how often you get an email from me, or exactly when it is that I call. Tell me." I was quiet for a while, I was getting ready to say it again when he said "You don't, ok?" so I said, does that sound like someone who isn't trying to move on to you? And he said "No, okay? No." He sounded so defeated and upset. Did I mess up by taking on such a strong attitude with him? He is very prideful. I'm not stressing over it, but would just like an opinion.

UPDATE Okay people, here is an update on what happened with me this weekend. First off, K wanted me to call in a claim for him on Friday but I told him that I was going out (he called me again Friday night around 5pm, while I was getting ready) and that I would call Saturday and let him know. I went out that night and had a blast. Saturday I woke up with a thick head (LOL) and called to place the claim, I call him and left him a message that I had and then made lunch and set down to watch a movie. Half way into that movie he called me back. He asked me to cancel the claim, that he just wanted to pay for it and not raise the policy. I said ok (with a tone that said...Is there anything else?) and he asked me what I was doing that day. I told him that I was supposed to go out but had decided to stay in and asked him what he was up to. To be honest, he didn't sound very good the entire conversation. So he said that he and his girlfriend had just broken up and that he was sad! HOLY CRAP. I told him that I was sorry and asked if there was anything that I could do and he said yes, that I could tell him who had told me about him and her and I said no. He tried to get persistent, I said no, he got angry and I said no. He hung up. He called back for the same reason, new argument, I said no, I hung up. He called back, I told him that if he broke up with her because he was mad that she may have been talking to friends that he was stupid, all girls talk to their friends and that it wasn't her fault if one of those friends had a friend with a big mouth, he said that they didn't break up because of that, I asked why and he said it wasn't my business, I said ok, I understand, then why is this a big deal and he said that he needed to know and I said no again, he got angry and hung up. He called back, I didn't answer. He called back on the other phone, I didn't answer. He called back on the cell phone and I answered and it was the same thing all over again, except this time he said that if I didn't tell him, she (his new ex) was going to spread it around that I was a lying psycho ex witch (except with a B) and that my name would go through the mud and that he didn't want that. I told him that I didn't care what a 22 year old drama queen GIRL told her young friends, that all I cared about were the people who knew me and knew that I wasn't that way or that type of person and I hung up. He called back and I didn't answer, this time he left a message saying that a long time ago, I had chosen a friendship over our relationship (which is not true, I just told him I wasn't going to stop being friends with someone just because he was insecure) and that I had that choice before me now, either keep my secret or keep him as a friend. Ok, so my knee jerk reaction is fear. I'm afraid of loosing him. I cry. I'm scared. I call my friends, no one is answering. I lay down to think. And it hits me. I'm MAD too! How dare he??? Why is he harassing me over something that did NOT break them up and should have NOTHING to do with anything as the stuff I heard was all good about them? I mean, hurtful to me, but good about them? I was really steaming up now. So when he called again I answered. I told him first off, I wasn't going to tell him who told me that stuff and that I never was going to tell him and that he could take that to the bank. Second off, I didnt' care what she thought, or her friends or even HIM. He had been calling me a liar for most of our relationship because of a misunderstanding over a picture and me lying about quitting smoking and I was SICK TO DEATH of being accused of something that I was not. I told him that while I still loved him and (he inturrupted me here and said "Yeah but love not reciprocated will die and you need to move on") so I said, that's my POINT K, I am moving on, I have been dating and just because I'm not making the mistake of getting serious with someone right away like he did, does NOT mean that I'm not moving on. That I remembered a conversation that he and I had had before moving out, about how he said that he couldn't say that we would never be together again, that he saw us having a future but that he couldn't say either way. I told him that to this day he still could not say "Coda, we will NEVER be together again" and I told him that he STILL couldn't say that (at this point he said that he didn't want to talk about this anymore so I told him to hang up then and kept talking and he kept listening). I told him that he better recognize that someday I WAS going to get to the point that I would say "K, we are NEVER going to be together again" and that at that point he will have lost the best thing that ever happened to him. That I loved him for his good things and his bad, that I loved him in spite of his faults and sometimes because of them. That he was a difficult person to live with, to deal with, to love, but that I had. That I had taken care of him, did things for him that he was too afraid to do himself, did things with him that I wasn't interested in but that he needed my help for. But that someday, someday he was going to loose that forever. I told him that he kept asking about who I was seeing and that I was going to tell him, I am seeing several people but one of them has been standing out a lot lately, that he is kind and giving, he is mature and intelligent, he is financially independent and could take care of me that way and that he likes me just as I am. (He inturrupted here and said that I should be with stupid dumb jerk of a guy, that he was an idiot, he said it petulantly, like a child not getting his way and I laughed and said he didn't even know him). That on one hand I had that person and the other I had him and then asked him which one was going to eventually going to come out on top? I told him that I was tired of his drama, that he was acting like what he had been associating with, like an immature person. That if he wanted drama, he could call his girlfriend. That I was tired of dealing with him that weekend and didn't care to anymore, to please not call me for the rest of the weekend, to have a nice day and I hung up and turned my phone off. He hasn't called. I felt bad for saying those things when I know that he really was sad over breaking up with her, I think he thought he really was in love her, no matter how short a time they were together. BUT, I am tired of being treated the way he has been treating me since seeing her and I am putting my foot down. No more. I refuse. So, how did I do? Do you think I messed things up saying that? Do you think i jerked him out of his day dream that I would always be there for him? I don't know.

BLUE First off man, You need to get a life!!! I mean that as it sounds, not the "mean" way of saying it. You need to get out there and do things for yourself, that make you happy, that atleast make you content. Sitting around pining for her is not healthy and it's not helping you. You are just gonig to drive yourself crazy with this if you don't. Blue, you are not going to be able to heal if you don't pull yourself out of this pit you've dug for yourself. Keefy and V and I can all stand up top and shine lights to help you find your way, but you have to be the one to climb out, we can't help you there except with advice and guidance. We can give you this because we've been where you are and listened to others tell us to do the same thing I'm telling you. We managed to climb out and now we're in this weird valley where all things are possible, both negative and positive. We are by no means healed, but we are on that path. You NEED to get to this point Blue. So get out there, rent movies that make you laugh or make you fighting mad. Go to the movies, hang out with friends in an environment where you're not all sitting around at a buddy's house getting drunk (that's counter productive), instead go out bowling, to the arcade, to a amusement park, go cart racing, whatever stimulates your mind and your body for FUN. Do these things by yourself if you need to. BUT DO THEM. Please listen to me BLUE, you have no hope of winning her back or of making someone else attractive to you, if you continue in this state. You must learn and grow from it, yes, you must own it, but you also must get past it and you can't do that if you continue to wallow. Make yourself a plan, tell yourself that you are only going to "wallow" over her at certain times, allow yourself that, but then on the other times if you should catch yourself starting to slide STOP and say no more, time to do something else. You can't heal if your constantly living it. Do you see?

OMG, I'm flirting with a guy from work right now! Got him to say that he will go with us all tonight! Offered to buy my first drink! LOL LIFE IS GOOD!

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend and just remember, if things get bad and you need a place to vent, do it here!

BLUE First I think you deserve a round of applause for being able to hold out as long as you have! We all know how hard it is, how much it hurts, so way to go on a job well done! =D> Just remember Blue, it does get easier with each passing day. One day, you are going to wake up and get ready for work and make it half way there before you realize that you didn't wake up thinking about her or missing her, that you hadn't even thought of her until that moment. And then the day will come when the thought of that doesn't hurt so much. Before you know it, you will find yourself still loving her but it not being so painful or endless as it once was. Trust me, I'm there now. I miss him and love him, but I no longer feel like my world is going to end and I will be forever alone without him. You will too, I promise. KEEFY Hello sweetie! I hope all is well there with you! Sorry I missed last night, I didn't get back from the Laundry mat until 7 or so and then had to put everything away and make dinner and by the time I was done with all that I was done in! HAHA I have such a hugely busy weekend planned you have NO idea! I'm going out to a bar tonight with some friends, then tomorrow I have a movie date and then sunday I'm playing pool with some friends! Phew! Busy little girl! Hope you have a great Weekend too! Miss talking to you! VHS Man, where the heck have you been???? You're holing up somewhere I know it! I hope you are doing ok, I miss talking to you too. Everything here is actually going pretty good! Fill me in on how you're doing. Did you get those books? If so, have you read them? Well everyone, he called me again last night and asked if he could borrow my truck this morning to take his rim/tire in to have it looked at and to try and match it to get the rim replaced. I said sure as long as he had it back to me by 4 and he was like..."why, are you going out?" (like he didn't know, I know he's been checking myspace profile) and I said "Yep" and he said yeah he could do that. So this morning he showed up and was all sweet and funny, we talked on the phone during my break and he was the same way, he met me on my lunch break to switch cars and he was all funny and joking around, he called me after he left from there to joke around with me somemore! HAHA. Then, he asked if I could call around and get info for him about rims from some of the places I told him to call and I said that I couldn't until tomorrow morning and he said something and I said (really sweetly and kind of laughing) "Look K, we're not together anymore, I have a life now, if you need it done now, get your gf to do it for you" and he said something else about don't do anything and I said OK and he hung up. Five minutes later he was calling me back and joking with me again. LOL Too funny! What's you guys take on that little development? LOL

V The name of that book is: How to get your Lover Back by Blase Harris MD. It's a great book! You can also try one that Chai suggested me that I'm gonig to get this weekend myself. "Get Anyone To Do Anything" by David J. Lieberman. Anyway, buy that book before I kick your tail bub!

Okay people, I have a new update! The ex called again last night, pretty late (11pm, he was at work) and said "Hey TireBuster" (old joke, that was my friends Dad's nickname for me when the ex and I met for busting two tires one time and not knowing it), since then the ex has FAR passed me on that score and earned the title of TireBuster so when he said that I started laughing and asked how many tire's he busted this time. He started laughing and told me that he blew a tire on the way to work last night and bent the rim and then the other rim was chewed up. He asked if I knew how to get rims for his car and about how much they would be. (I know about cars and he doesn't, he always went to me for car stuff). I gave him the info and where he could go to buy the rims and figured that would be the end of the conversation but then he started joking around with me and bringing up funny things that we had done in the past. I started "copying" him and "doing his voice" and he was laughing so hard that he couldn't breath (he loves it when I do that stuff, he used to constantly ask me "Like how did I say that again?" and then laugh himself silly when I would immitate him. We talked and laughed for about 45 mins last night until I finally told him I had to go but that I had fun talking to him and he said me too and said goodnight to me very sweetly. So guys, give me some opinions here. What's your take? I know that he is still checking out myspace, he went there last night, so I know that he saw I have plans to go out this entire weekend (going out with co-workers on friday, a date on saturday, pool and drinks with friends on sunday, another date on tuesday). Maybe this is having an effect on him? I haven't been calling him at all, he's the one who initiates the calls and then I return them at my leisure. I'm not getting my hopes up because to be honest with you, when I am done with this challenge, I'm going to be in such great shape that I know with a new body and my personality (tootin my own horn here) that I can get any guy I want, so am not so scared anymore of being alone, now it's just missing him as we used to be when we were good. Still not life and death for me though. So guys, is that pretty promising?

V!! This is an excellent plan but Keefy is right, just remember, there are going to be good days AND bad days with this and you HAVE got to remember this. Always come to us first before making any rash decisions ok? Oh and some of those were too mushy to start with. Walking on the Beach type of stuff. NOPE. Go with fun stuff, like Putt Putt, Go Carts, Amusement parks, stuff where you two are laughing together. Laughter is the worlds best medicine and can heal all wounds ok?

Okay Blue, first things first. If she calls do not answer it. I don't know if I missed you on this or not and if you took the call, no big deal, but if she does call in the next couple of days, do not take the call. Don't respond to her email right away either. Wait 2 days. On the second day, spend most of it composing a quick, short, to the point email. Here's an example. Hey there, sorry you haven't been able to reach me, things have been busy and I haven't really found the time to check in. Glad to hear all is well there with you. Next Saturday I might be able to do something but am not sure if I will have the time to work on your car. Hope you have a good day. You see? Easy, short, and in control. You showing interest in being with her but laying down the law about doing favors for her. Your not her bf anymore and she can't expect you to immediately fit into the role of friend. If she does, put her in her place, like I showed you here. I know it's hard, trust me and believe me that I know it's hard, but you can do it Blue! Stay strong okay? We're here for you!

Honestly? It sounds like she just wanted to be married more than she wanted to be with you. Her priorities are all messed up apperantly. But.....would you want to be with someone who not only gets so upset over such a life altering decision not going HER way (one way) that she would break up with you over it rather than TALK to you about it? Hmmm, I know I wouldn't want to be with someone like that. Marriage is a partnership...why would you want to force the hand of the other person to get it? Sounds like that was one of her reasons.....

Nap, I think that the letter is a good idea, women appreciate them on a level that some people might not understand. I don't know about it being 4 pages, you really might want to consider revising it, but I understand that you are trying to be thorough. Either way, NC is the best thing to do no matter how much time has gone by, there is no time limit on feelings and emotions and everyone heals differently. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Come here often and vent when you need to, that's what we are all here for, to help one another through these times.

Hello My Boys!! Ok, here is the update from last night. He came over around 9:40 and stayed until 10:20. I let him spend some time in the other room with the Girls while I worked in the kitchen and finished watching my show (Veronica Mars). After that, I gave him some food to give to the girls as a treat and after he did that he came out to talk to me. He looked around alot (inspection I imagine to see if i'm becoming a better housekeeper as this was on of his gripes with me) and then set down in one of my recliners and kind of slouched. He asked what was up with me about 3 different times. He didn't seem entirely happy with the info I volunteered (casual stuff, working out, writing, my job moving locations, no juicy stuff) and then asked how "BRAD" was doing. I just smiled and said next subject. Then he wanted to know who the bald headed guy was and I was like "HUH?" and he said it again "The bald guy" and I finally realized that he was talking about one of my pics on the myspace profile and I told him that was a friend that I worked out with. He immediately started putting him down. Then started putting down another guy that he thinks that I am dating. I told him that he was going to put down every guy I had ever known and started laughing. He laughed a little bit, then we just talked about BS stuff. He left around 10:20 and wanted me to ride in his car to the gate (I usually walk or drive my own car but this time he wanted me in the car with him). I laughed at his driving and when he got to the gate, said goodnight and got out without looking at him after opening the gate door. I went back to my apt and about an hour later he called me. Weird, he asked me not to tell anyone something that was going on with him and I laughed and was like "Who am I going to tell?" and he just kind of laughed too. Then we just joked around on the phone, making fun of each other like we used to always do, at point I was crying I was laughing so hard. Then we talked about Sin City, which I had already seen and told him about. Then I said that I had to go as it was late and he cracked another joke, I laughed and said goodnight. So my boys, my boys, what's your take on this one? He was acting really weird, but I know that he is still seeing Liz so am not sure if maybe he is starting to get tired of her. She has a major Drama episode happen in her life atleast once a week (my friend stood me up and I'm upset, my other didn't call me cause she was watching the OC and I'm upset, they ditched me for this, school is that, blah blah blah) so perhaps he's getting tired of all the immature drama. He never did like drama to begin with and was always telling me how cool it was that I seemed to be drama free with my friends (cause I tell them like it is, if they hurt my feelings, I tell them instead of witching to other ppl about it). What are your opinions? Other than that, I am doing great! I feel really good now that I've resolved to do this Challenge thing with Body for Life and my future is starting to look really bright and exciting, with or without him. I love him and still want to be with him, but it's slowly becoming....hmmm...well, not so life and death you know?

V and Blue Okay, just remember, sometimes a girl will lie because she is afraid of "getting in trouble" for something that she views as important and someone else does not. When she doesn't want to lower the opinion of the other person, she's embarrassed or because she feels she has to to get along. Not just because she's a spoiled brat. Either way, you need to decide your stance on that and whether or not your going to accept it in any way, shape, or form.

To be honest, I'm not sure how I would handle that one. In one way it's not worth it to even bother. They are just going to deny it and then when you establish proof, they will be mad at you for getting that proof. You know what the situation is, that's what is important. However, if you came by that knowledge innocently enough, say someone told you or it came to you without your looking for it that would be different. In that case, I would tell them, "Hey, just to let you know, I know about such and such, I was (told w/o asking, it got delivered to me by mistake, whatever) and while I understand why you did it, I would just appreciate not being lied to ok?" and keep it up, positive, non judgemental. This might still get them on the defensive and cause a fight. If it does, be prepared and don't fall into it. Just say, "You know, I know what's it's like, feeling like you have to lie and then getting caught is the worst, but you don't have to do that with me ok?". Personally, I would need to know more before giving you a straight answer V.

I might be able to be on for a little while tonight. The ex called me back and wants to stop by tonight, I think I'm going to let him as I have said no the last few times and saying no again would be rude. Plus, to be honest, I don't really care now. I'm happy. I've made my choice about my life, my health and what is going to happen to me and I'm not so upset anymore. If I'm with him then that is fabulous, if not, then I will meet a guy just as great in his own ways. Maybe even meet someone that is as outgoing as I am. Who knows? I'm actually very excited about the future! V, I do the same thing that Keefy does. I watch a movie that is either inspirational to me (Like a bunch of women running around kicking butt) or something that makes me laugh (Like .... Hmm Charlie's Angels but that pretty much fits the first one too huh?) LOL. I also read and write in my own novel. I come on here. I have a profile on myspace. I spend time with my guinea pigs. I research stuff on line. I clean my house. I FORCE myself to do things and it's better.

Keefy!!!! I am so glad to see you up beat and happy!! Hold on to this feeling or whatever it is that's got you like this! We are going to make it!!! The road may be bumpy and rocky, but with each other to help, we're going to pull through this! ~Coda

Oh, forgot to tell ya'll. The ex sent me an email last night when he knew I was online (he wasn't on yahoo or aol and his cell phone was off so that was weird) and told me that the ex landlord had called about something. I sent him and email back saying that she was lying about not getting one of the garage door openers cause we had a receipt for it. He wrote back saying that she said that she gave us two. I got fed up with that and just called him home phone number (after discovering that the cell was off) and he answered. TOO WEIRD! I figured he was with the gf or something, but nope, all by his lonesome. So we had a decent talk until he wanted me to call to the ex landlord back right then and there. In the past I would have maybe huffed and puffed, or told him to do it if he wants it done now or just caved in BUT THIS TIME I didn't, I just told him (twice) no, I'm going to wait until tomorrow and speak with her in person. He said "Yeah, sure, I'll believe that when I see it" (cause I used to be really bad with follow through folks, I admit it) and I said, "Ok, talk to you later" (all chipper sounding) and hung up. He called back and I let it go to VM but he didn't leave anything. I called him today after dropping all that off and just left an up beat short little message that it was done and the ex landlord was being a B as usual and that I hope you have a fantastic day! HA!!! Proved him WRONG!!! LOL. The great thing about him is that he'll recognize that tho (that compliment was for him but because if I didn't V would jump down my throat!!!). hehe

OKAY EVERYBODY, I'M SHARING THIS WITH YOU! I am going to do the Body for Life Challenge. I have used the Body for Life method before and it was working, but I quit. I've talked to my doctor as well and she is going to assist me with increased visits for the first couple of weeks to help monitor my Hypothyroidism. Now I have decided to enter the contest and do everything that they suggest. One of them is to tell family and friends so that they can help you stay committed. I'm tired of being this overweight girl that I don't know anymore. I want to be the girl I was a couple of years ago. link removed I have decided to shoot for 145 pounds. That's above my target weight of 130, but I figure anything that I can loose beyond my goal of 145 is just gravy (low fat that is). I can always continue to loose after the Challenge. The Challenge is for 12 weeks, that's three months and I am positive that I can really make a change in my life. I really am confidant in doing this and feel this time, more than any other time in the past two years, that I can do this. I have to wait for my beginning package to come in the mail, and as soon as it does, I will begin. I've decided to keep an online journal on here to further motivate me. It will be under the Health section probably entitled Body For Life and I would appreciate any of you that come and see how I'm doing.

Blue, what I can tell you is that lying is a part of her nature and its going to be really hard to get that leopard to change her spots. Trust me, I know, I've been guilty of it myself. I grew up in a household with a mother that was bi-polar, you lied to survive in my house. As an adult you do it when you feel scared or trapped, it's almost like it becomes a knee jerk reaction and you find your self lying first. You also find yourself lying because your afraid your going to get into trouble for some random stupid little act that no one else would care about (like your supposed to mail a letter and forget). Some people of course are worse in their lies and do it for other reasons and are blatant about it. Either way, that is a very hard trait to fix and she would have to want to VERY badly to stop. As her friend you can ask her to stop lying to you, but that is really all that you can do. What I have done (and continue to do no matter who it is) when someone talks to me with an attitude or in a way that I don't appreciate, I bring it to their attention, if they won't stop, I just tell them that I don't appreciate the behaviour and I'm hanging up/walking away. They can call me when they have calmed down or are in a better mood. I let them know this. Heck, I told my ex on Sunday "Okay, you can stop talking to me with the attitude in your voice or you can talk to me later." Put your foot down no matter who it is. But beyond this Blue, you can't change her, you don't even have a right to try, even f you were her bf, all you can do is request it and tell her how her behaviour makes you feel. Ultimately though, the only person that you can change or have any right to change is yourself. Granted the other person may NEED to change, but you don't have the right to try and make them. You can only request and then if they don't and it still bother's you than YOU can change.....by moving on or accepting it. That's why the vows say "For better, for worse....". It means, are you willing to accept this person with ALL of their flaws?