tinababe

i dont have much to say becuz i am going through the same problem...i think u put perfectly into words how i feel but have never been able to express before...i mostly start feeling sad and upset when i am by myself or feel like people would rather hang out with someone else than with me....just normal insecurities for me...just no that you are not alone...

ya no...i kinda have the same problem as u....i dont play hard to get but i do not like to get so over emotionally involved...i like to have my own life...and that is not a problem...my sister has a boyfriend and she seems to be like your sister where she always is calling her boyfriend and telling him how much she misses him and so on. At one point, in my relationship with my current boyfriend, i didnt want to put myself out there and call his house phone and look like an idiot if he wasn't home...but after a while of dating him, i realized that in order for the relationship to work, i need to be a little more emotionally invested, and he needs to see that. I still have my own life and i make sure he knows that....he knows that i am extremely devoted to playing volleyball and my schoolwork and my friends....but he also knows that he is very important to me....by the way, i became more emotionally invested in the relationshp after about 3 or 4 months of the relationship...but nevertheless, i put myself out there, knowing that i cud end up feeling rejected, but i just told myself that he was worth it...it sounds to me like u don't know this guy too well so i dont think u need to be calling him everyday and telling him u miss him and getting into the relationship real emotionally quite yet....u do need to talk to him about the text message u wrote him and tell him exactly how u r feeling...but i have to say that it does seem like u r contradicting urself because you say that u try to stay busy but u got upset because he didn't call u back....check urself on that one and maybe have a discussion with him about it....if hes worth your time, he will be glad to listen to you and help in any way he can...then maybe, after a while of dating....perhaps u can learn to open up a bit more...kinda scary...but it turns out all good when thigns work out...good luck and i hope this helped a little...

so, my boyfriend of 9 months has been a great friend of mine for a few years before we started dating. We started dating and it has been wonderful...we always seem to bring out the best in each other. My problem lies, that for school, instead of taking two periods of classes, he is taking work experience. however, in order to take work experience, you need a job. All summer, he has been filling out applications and he finally got an offer 4 a job that seemed wonderful. The manager asked to see him several times telling him that my boyfriend was exactly wut they were looking for. He told him that he needed to pay his respects to the otehr 4 people that applied. It turns out that the other 4 applicants were no good but a walk in came in that had experience before so when my boyfriend went in for the 6th time, he was told htat they found someone better than him. He is really bummed and i am not sure how i can help him through this. he already doesn't see himself as i do. He looks in the mirror and sees someone that is not worth anything...but when i look at him i see someone that is worth everything. his parents put a lot of pressure on him which dusnt help the situation much....but i finally felt like he put in so much effort and was going to be rewarded and it turns out i was wrong....i am hoping that he dusnt give up all together and instead of tkaing a step forward to seeing himself as an intelligent and worthwhile individual, he takes 2 steps backwards and we have 2 start from scratch agen....i love him so much....i know i do...and i cant stand seeing him in so much pain....i can see it in his eyes and it just kills me. If I could i wud gladly take him pain away from him because wenever i see that look in his eye i want to break down and cry...he also told me tonight that one of the biggest problems is people telling him one thing, and then doing the opposite...like the job thing. the guy told him that he coudl count on getting a job there but then in the end....he didnt get the job....also, to various friends, they tell him to call them so they can hang out and once he clals, they bluntly tell him that they don't feel like hanging out with him today....he was also planning on going to a waterpark with one of our friends, but instead, our friend told him he didnt feel like going so he hung out with someone else....i feel so awful because he is so upset....when he is in town....everybody is bored to death, but when he leaves, we end up finding thingsd to do....i try to tell him that it is just a coincidence and that people don't do it on purpose and that it is just unfortunate....but honestly....he has like the worst luck ive ever seen or heard about...ive never heard of anyone applying for 15 jobs and not getting a single callback.....or having 3 pretty stable plans within 3 days and having people blow him off.....poeple dont dislike him.....everybody loves hanging out with him....im just having a hard time convincing him of that and convincing him that he is worthwhile and worth everything to people....also.....does anyone have any advice on the job thing....hes been getting advice from me, his aprents and our friends and everything pretty much backfires....ne ideas??? thank u very much.....

hello, so Last summer i went on a cruise and i hooked up with a guy that lived in a different state than i did. I had a great time hanging out with him on the cruise, nothing sexual happened, mostly all we did was talk and get to know each other. Halfway through our vacation i asked him wut it was that we were doing? i wanted to know if it was a fling or if it was more. He told me that he liked me so much and wanted to continue the relationship after the cruise. So that, we did. we talked a lot over the phone and we stayed together for a few months. We talked about him going to college near me while i finished up my senior year of highschool. Throughout all of that i realized that i couldnt deal with a long distance relationship at this age. It was just too difficult. But i was to much of a pansy to break up with him, so i had to subtly hint that things might not be what they seem. He kept telling me that he cud spend the rest of his life with me and while it was rather flattering i knew it couldn't happen. finally, we had "the talk" and i cudn't have been more relieved to know that i didnt have to deal with the pressures of a long distance relationship. It turns out that he cheated on me while i was at a school dance wen we were together because he was so sure that i was going to do something that night. He never fully admitted it but i found proof. Despite that, we still kept talking as friends. I got a new boyfriend while he got a new girlfriend and we continued to talk over the phone and update each other on our lives because we were going to stay friends. finally, we stopped talking as he entered a new world full of drama that i didnt want 2 deal with. him being 17 dating his boss's daughter in her mid 20's who is being abused by her ex bf that she still lives with and shes getting an abortion yadda yadda yadda. I found out from my cousin, who emailed him not too long ago, that he (still at 17) is having a kid with this woman and is now engaged. The problem lies that i can't control my feelings. I still have my boyfriend and while i don't think i have ever been in love i feel like with my boyfriend now i am the closest i have ever been. There is no doubt in my mind that i still want to be with my current boyfriend. But i can't stop thinking about my ex boyfriend having a kid and getting married. He isn't even an adult. I just...thought so highly of him before and now i don't know what to think. He even told my cousin that he cudn't talk to her anymore because his fiance was getting too upset since it was obvious that my cousin had a crush on him. He is just being so ridiculous and i don't know what to think. on his myspace he posted pictures of his wedding day and of his unborn son....why do i still feel so attatched to him.i don't get it. before i found out that he got this girl pregnant and was getting married i detested him soo much because of the way he treated me and basically his personality. All the lying and everything just made me not like him. But now that i foudn out the new update on his life, i feel sorry for him and wish that he wasn't in this situation. I don't think i am jelous because i don't want to be with him but i think it was just a shock that hes getting married and having kids so young. It gives me a stomach ache and makes me miss the times that we did share together. I mean, when we were together, i cried often because i wanted to spend time with him so badly. Obviously, when i realized who he truly was i wanted nothing to do with him because he smoked, cheated on me and was a lier but now....i dont know how to handle this....and i can't tlak to my ex about it because we don't tlak anymore and worse i feel i cannot talk to my boyfriend about it because i really dont want him to get the wrong impression. normally, i can talk 2 my boyfriend about anything, but this is really different...im in need of some advice. please, why do i feel this way and how do i make this feeling go away?

im annoyed bcuz wenever im around them....she isnt herself and ends up treating me like crap! this whole scenario has been going on 4 the last 6 months...and im starting 2 feel a little upset that she keeps treating me this way. Its like....when its just her and me...im cool 2 hang with...but then...wen bob is there....its all about him...and its not even the fact that i dont get attention from her...its the rude comments im sick of...and wen i try 2 tell her how i feel...she just makes excuses 4 herself and denies everything....i just....talking dusnt seem 2 help....i guess...my story was a little long and it was diffficult 2 catch the part that needed advice....but wut i need is a way to communicate with her 2 get her 2 stop treating me like crap....i want her 2 treat me nicely even if bob is there....y is it that she has 2 interact with me differently cuz hes there....y dus it matter....were all best friends...its not like she can b embarrassed about it...she just dusnt care! and i cant make her care..but im hoping it is just that she dusnt understand...

hey everyone....i have a little story so....my best friend....lets call her Sally....and her ex boyfriend...lets call him Bob....went out twice and got back 2gether once. They broke up for real....bobs choice in like..january! btw...bob broke up with her the first time 2 and then asked her out agen....they were both each other's firsts so it was pretty special.....now @ school....we r all happy friends...including some others besides just them and meTHANK GOD 4 THAT! however...occasionally well do sumthing and it ends up just being the 3 of us. WEIRD! Y? CUZ THEY STILL ACT LIKE THEY R GOING OUT! and they rnt....and idk..some days he acts like it...so then she acts like it....or vice versa! but that dusnt really matter! bcuz every1 is pretty much getting annoyed with how much they....r like they r...basically! neways....2day example...just the 3 of us....and...its 1 of those things where sally tells me she dusnt like him and she ses..."ya...well he tried 2 kiss me agen wen i went to his house...but seriously..he needs 2 get over it cuz im not gunna b like that anymore!" bcuz...previously...she went 2 his house and they were alone...like..in his room..or outside or sumthing....and they wud start making out....and yah...friends were there...and they wud feel a lil uncomfortable so theyd leave and wen id ask her about it she was like...we just wanted 2 scare u guys! YA...RIGHT! and she tells me how much she dusnt like him...and then tells me that she does and she isnt gunna lie...and so its kinda like she contradicts herself....and wenever shes around him...she like...tries 2 impress him...but then tells me she isnt. She ask him questions and tlak with him and stuff which in her own little world dusnt mean nething....or mayb it dus and she just tells me it dusnt....but its TOTALLY FLIRTING AND EXACTLY HOW SHE ACTED WEN THEY WERE GOING OUT! and sumtimes....bob talks with me about it...like..."ya...so i guess im calling sally while i walk home alone 2nite"....i was like..."ohhh...y?" he was like..."idk....she just told me too"...like that kind of stuff....and....alrite..lets get 2 the point! 2day..we went out 2 lunch and i didnt have a purse but i had my books and my wallet, my phone...and my ice cream that i just bought....i was going 2 sit downa nd they were like...no lets walk...ok...well i can carry my books and put my fone in my pocket but hey sally...can u put my wallet in her HUMUNGUS purse! she goes "no...i dont have room" i go...."ya u do...its huge"...she goes...."i cant even put my sweater in it" i say..."a wallet is a lil smaller than a sweater"..."no...im not gunna carry ur crap!" i go "fine.......then ill sit and u guys can go nd walk!" she yells "FINE!" so......then i catch up with them later...and they r sitting on the floor and we were hanging out with sum other ppl by then thank god! and bob was like...im gunna go buy some candy...sally wanna come.....sally ses...ok...but u gotta help me up! im her best friend and she wudnt go newhere with me...and i guarentee u that she wud have just sat there with me and helped eatmy ice cream but bcuz bob was there...she didnt...bcuz bob was there...she dusnt have a mind of her own nemore....becuz bob is there....shes gunna be Mrs. brat...and its not fair! ive talked 2 her about this...and we end up fighting...i think its cuz imw ording it wrong...and then she ses sumthing 2 defend herself and i dont no wut 2 say....i really need help.....ive been keeping htis in 4 a while and im starting 2 really lose it...and i dont want 2 lose this friendship...school is almost ending...im having an after school party and i dont want things 2 end badly...im just sick of seeing 2 sides of her...the flirting side when she flirts with her ex bf nonstop..trying 2 b and act seductive...anda brat 2 ne1 else there.....and the best friend in the world wen its just us...i miss that...a lot....andlike...wen they were going out...i felt a little left out...but i understood cuz she had a boyfriend...but now...she dusnt...and i still feel left out...even more so than when she did have a boyfriend....i dont know if im overreacting but a little advice woudnt hurt! thanks and sry it was such a long post

ok.....so everyone helped me out with my last problem so i thought id try another.....now....its a little complicated and has to do with my last post...my ex boyfriend which i still have feelings for likes my best friend. Now i found out that since last summer he has always liked her and i mean he has liked other people too but she was always in his head too...kinda like a back up i guess. And like...my best friend got in trouble and she couldn't have her cell for a whole week...and my ex...when he likes someone he calls them everyday...well since he couldn't call my best friend he called me for the past week and now my friend has her cell back and i think that the only way i can get past having feelings for him is if i'm still in constant communication....i don't want to be the last resort....i want to be special enough for him to call me even when he doesn't like me...ya know? i dont no...and then i found out that he told a friend of his about our whole break up...and ill admitt it...i was a total brat about everyhting...see....im....epilepic...and i ended up having a seizure and was put on medication...but it didn't work and i had 2 more seizures in class....i was really bummed the medication didn't work so i started getting all bratty....especially because no one new about the first seizure...and then the day before valentines day he got me flowers and i got him some stuff too...and he seems to have remembered me asking if i had to carry the flowers however, i don't remember that at all...although i did apologize and he brings it up a lot a whole year later and i still apologize cuz i feel so bad....he broke up with me because of my rudeness....so....he told this girl that is his friend but im friends with her too...and i dont know but whenever i hear him talk about that particular incident, it always depresses me because i feel so bad that i made him feel bad and i feel so responsible for a break up that wasn't completely necessary....i just....want that burden to leave me....and it wont....any advice?

thanks a whole bunch....the advice i have been given is great and now i am feeling a little better about thsi whole situation....u guys are great!

ok...im very sorry...but i can't just stay away from my ex boyfriend....we have a very unique friendship that i am not willing to give up. We talk about everythign and yes i have moments when i like him again but that must b natural considering he is my first boyfriend....plus it isn't like i don't like other people...because i do...sorry for not making that clear....plus...i have a group of friends...there is 9 of us....we've been friends since freshman year....im now a sophmore...and we do everything as a group...we go c movies....shopping and we both go to those hang outs and i don't want to miss anything.....i guess if the only way i can get over my ex and get away from this pain is to stay away from him...ill just take the pain because when i eventually do get over him ill also have an awesome friendship...am i totally out of line or do i make sense...i cant really tell nemore

is there any other way to get over an ex without staying clear from him for a while....because i mean, i have my moments of jelousy but, he is a really great friend too, and i don't think i could go without having him as someone to talk too. Any other way?

im srry for all the abbreviations...i edited it for everyone a bff is a best friend forever a bf is a boyfriend my bad guys

ok...i have read peoples comments for the last few days...and the commments are awesome! i was hoping you could help me with my problem. My first boyfriend broke up with me almost exactly a year ago. I took it very hard at the time. and sometimes it still bugs me. He broke up with me because i had some personal problems that ended up making me behave in a certain way i shouldn't have. anyways, ive apologized so many times when he brings it up but...i believe i truly did love him and i don't know how i can get over ruining a relationship like the one we had. We now are best friends! we talk all the time and sometimes i can see that he still has feelings for me and i think we both agree that our relationship just kind of ended. It never really gradually got worse, we just hit a tough spot and split instead of trying to work it out. We have confronted each other about this when he liked me again. Anyways, i heard from a close friend of his that he liked me again which i was thrilled about it once i heard it. Before i hadn't really thought about him that way again. Then he asked me to winter ball and we had a great time. I thought things were awesome, and i felt loved again. Then i found out that night that he called my best friend and told her he liked her. Also, the night before winter ball she asked if she could have a dance with him, just because she wasnt very fond of her date. I said ok...and they ended up dancing with each other the last song. My ex also has told me that he likes my best friend and...i dont know...i guess im kind of jelous. Not that if he were to have asked me out again, i would have said yes, but it felt good being liked again. Especially since i haven't gone out with anyone since him and he has, it just...makes me feel weird. Not to mention my best friend was dumped by her boyfriend about 3 weeks ago. Shes all saying, that she wants a bf really bad and how much she needs one and ive been single for practically a whole year. And then i found out ont he phone frm my ex that my best friend keeps calling him just to talk...i have a feeling my best friend is leading him on because she told me she wasnt ever going to go out wiht him, because she knows in some ways i still have feelings for him but that it isn't who she is. I need to get over this guy. REALLY BAD! and its not like i don't attract guys or anything either, i just never make it to the next step. ive heard of guys liking me and we flirt and things go good, but they just neveer ask me out....i dont think im on the rebound but i feel like the only way ill be contempt with myself is if i go out with someone else, just to prove to myself that my ex isn't the only person that will go out with me....even though it seeems that way. I guess the real question is how to not be jelous of my best friend and her ability to attract guys when really people always comment on how pretty i am and how fun i am..and its not like they like her to try and get something from her cuz shes not like that....i guessi just really am jelous...and i dont no how to get over it...and maybe not just of her...but because she has my ex boyfriend's heart because in reality i get jelous of all the girls my ex talks to me about liking. I just try not to let it show...any advice would be really appreciated....i need it because im really blowing this out of proportion i think and the only person i feel i can talk to is involved in my problem.... so lost....y does love have to be so hard...