melancholy123

I say send a card and flowers if you wish but dont go.

Nobody has asked this so I will. Have you actually met him? I'd say it's a red flag and your birth control issues are not his business.

Go for it! You only live once. My husband and I started our own biz in our early 40s and it was a huge success, and our son has taken it over. In our early 50s we started an online version of the first biz which has grown exponentially! it sure beats the hell out of working for someone else. I urge anyone with a good marketing skill and idea to give it a shot, we succeeded much better than we ever dreamed we would.

Block and delete him since you dont want to hear from him. Problem solved.

There's nothing good or great about being egotistical or self centred. You can be confident but not along with those two negative traits. Nobody likes anyone who is full of themselves.

You did what I was going to say to do. Good for you!

I think he should buy a house or a condo that he can afford on his own and you can either move in with him or move abroad. I do think you should travel abroad as that is your dream and we should all follow our dreams especially when we are young and able to do so. In time, if you come back, you can decide if you want to live with him in that house or condo or not. Maybe he sells it and makes a few bucks on it and you then buy a place together. Maybe you dont stay with him as bf/gf. You cant predict the future. So go abroad, see whatever it is you want to see, he can move out of mom's house and grow up in the process.

I've been thinking about you, wondering what. happened with your visit, now I see you haven't gone yet but plan to. I think it's a terrible idea to put yourself in the line of fire with this woman who drags you down so badly. You have given no logical reason to actually go to her house. If you are hoping deep down that she will act like a normal person, you are going to be so disappointed. Your idea to move far away is a good one. We moved 3 hours from the city where my mother lived as it was too far to go to her house for one day, especially with small kids. Best idea i ever had! It put an end to so much BS that she used to dish out with her "command performances" as I called them when she would expect us to show up. I did make the trek one time when an uncle died and she was as cold as ice to me that day. Yeah I wished I's stayed home. I never made that journey again, it wasn't worth it. I think you will find the same thing happens to you, it's not worth it. Distance can solve a lot of problems. Let your siblings come see you. i hope you feel a huge relief when this trip is over and that you are not devastated but if that doesn't happen I hope you have a good therapist you can go see for some help. It seems like you have a masochistic streak in you that you'd be wise to work on getting rid of. I think the loss you'd incur on the hotel bill would be worth it for your own peace of mind as what you are planning is going to be so damaging to you.

He is in for a rude awakening when he finds out that you are entitled to half of everything that his miserly self is trying to keep all to himself. You need to talk to a lawyer about this. How old are the other kids? Can they help by tidying things up, washing dishes, setting the table, folding laundry, running the vacuum, whatever is age appropriate.

Yup you 2 are incompatible. If I was her I'd say goodbye to you and stick with my cats. I have a cat and I would never give him up for anyone. Find another woman who does not want a cat.

Call her friends and family first. If that doesn't help, call the police for a wellness check. They will go to her place and see if she's there or not.

So it's ok for him to go to the strip club but not for you to go? That's quite the double standard. If you want to go, go, since he has no valid reason for you not to go.

I think you need to move on, there is not enough interest on either side.

You NEED to think about it! Take the blinders off. He's smoking and drinking his money! Maybe he's gambling it, or spending it on his friends in the bar. Your main option is to tell Freddy the Freeloader goodbye! There is NO OTHER OPTION!

There's your answer right there! Stop pushing a 29 yr old big baby to do things. If he wanted his teeth fixed that bad, he'd have done it. He must like living in pain. If he wanted to drive, he'd have gotten his license a long time ago. You make it too easy for him to NOT do anything! That's not caring, it's ENABLING.

Talk to her in a neutral place, apologize for what you did to upset her. Learn from your mistakes and dont repeat them.

Dear Mommy, you are an enabler. Unless and until you stop this, this lout is not going to change, because why should he? Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free? You are gibing him a free ride and you need to stop it. He could sort out his issues if he wanted to but he has no incentive. Wake up, Mommy!

If either of you get on a plane with covid symptoms, well shame on you. How many people would you infect doing that? Stay home until you each get negative tests back. I got a full refund on airfare for a trip I was to take in Feb. I wasn't sick, just didnt want to chance someone else on the plane might be.

If he really is over her, he would block and delete her from his phone and any other method she has of contacting him. That would tell her what she needs to know, that he's moved on. But he hasnt done that. Maybe he's not as over her as much as you think he is or he says he is. He is the problem, not the ex.

I'm glad to hear you broke up with ihm. Dont weaken and go back to him. He needs some serious help you cant provide.

My brother had a PhD in psychology and dealt with addicts for his entire career. He would tell you to go see your doctor and then go to AA, Alcoholics Anonymous.

Lambert, did the OP say neither of them were vaccinated? I didnt see that. People can still get it even if vaccinated.

You aren't obliged to so anything. She's lucky you even call her never mind hop a plane to go see her and be given a hard time for it. You really do have a choice. Also remember that "NO" is a complete sentence. Are you afraid of her in some way? I dont understand why you are willing to blow a week at her place, or in a hotel near her place, for any reason.

Are you two vaccinated? My husband and I had a deal that if he went to his sister's wedding (which never happened) he'd stay in the spare room on his return in case he caught covid. We consider this being responsible. I like to cut sick people some slack, when they feel like crap they can sometimes say things they dont mean, but your bf was being an over reactive jerk. Who cares if he gets offended that you want to wear a mask? He should have been wearing one anyway.

Tell me what is so great about this abusive bully that you stay with him? I'd be out of there so fast you would;dnt see me for the dust. You need to leave before he kills you. This is a sick relationship. Dont tell me you love him, this isn't love.