This may be long winded, so bear with me. My husband and I share 4 kids. I am a stay at home mom. Neither of us have reliable family, so we decide that I stay home with our daughter. Well, four kids later--I'm still home. The toll of being a SAHM has been weighing on me heavily as of recent and it's starting to affect my health. My job never stops. I do literally everything at home while my husband provides. I cook, clean, grocery shop (including bringing the groceries in and putting them away), I do the laundry, fold and put them away, dishes, take the trash out and to the curb, I change all the diapers and give all the baths. I feed the kids and clean up after every meal. I even shovel the snow and mow the grass. I've tried bringing all this up to him, but his only response is "well I do things that you don't do, like go to work and pay the bills.
He works anywhere from 36-40 hours per week. His job is not physically taxing. He is essentially a security guard (not like mall security, more like government paid) and he watches YouTube, TikTok, or twitch most of the night. On his days off, he wants rest. He complains about how out of wack the house can get at times, but I am trying my best! I've recently been bringing my feelings up to him about needing more help and the more I ask the angrier he gets. "We all have our jobs!", "you just don't like seeing me relax!", etc. etc. Most recently he will storm off and do something that isn't helpful in the least, like clean his guns or organize the garage. Usually giving me the silent treatment while listening to breakup music and acting sad.
I always end up feeling horrible about bringing it up in the first place. I'm always the bad guy. I'm starting to feel more and more out of control with the situation, as potty training and other time consuming tasks have become relevant. I just need a little help. During our years of marriage, I have been annoyed but able to handle the workload, but due to the stress I have recently relapsed with my ED. I have no clue what to do next. As I've said, I don't have any friends or family near by to help. I have no access to money because I'm a SAHM with no access to our debit or credit cards. My name is on nothing. I have tried the tactic of doing the bare minimum so he sees how much work I'm really dealing with on a daily basis, but it only results in more work for me later.
