gizza

thanks i cant really find out any other way hes not based in the office full time so comes & goes as he pleases , without asking him outright its just down to gut instint , i believe theres something going on , it might not be full on as hes married ( i konw that means nothing really ) but even so she didnt tell me about this arrangement . I asked her why and she said because you would have got all hissy ! i mean even if i was'nt over the moon at least i would'nt have the dreadfull memory of driving round the corner and see his car , i mean can you imagine the shock & then the whole you cant come in thing !! these other little incidents like when her car broke down & she came in with him , i asked how he knew where she lived , she went red & said he did'nt but picked her up at the shop ! i said immedaitly i was sorry for asking & she said she went red because she knew i would question her . I mean she s making out its all in my mind !!!! thanks for the vote of confidence even though its from a stranger even hearing it makes a difference

i hurts bad , i dont know whether i'll get throught it , i fall asleep thinkinking of my suicide notes & reherse who will get a note , the thing with all this positive thinking , which is the way forward i agree , but the past has happened its not all inthe mind , if your girlfriends lied & been unfaithfull what positive thinking can change the facts? i can see its about the spin we put on things , my girlfriends been unfaithful i'm better off without her ( positive) but then thats happened in real life not your mind . SO the next relationship if there is one will have that to deal with which will put pressure on that etc etc i try to do the futures not written in my head & sometimes it works for an hour or so but it dont fix reality does it , it fixes your mind set for a brief period of time & reality hits you . i have no great wisdom its just ******** hard , life is ******* hard and we cope until we cant cope anymore . i guess the fact that im typing this says i can still cope & the fact that you have done the same says you can cope too .

i wanyt to help you , please think that at 15 the furture can take you anyway , you have no ties , just dream of moving to anyway , overseas or something & making your own way in life , leave the crap behind you , its real dark i wont make light of that, i know , but if you do something stupid you ease you tempoary pain , but leave a mess & who knows where your soul will be ! & might be tortured forever !!

i noticed that your firts post was in sept 2003 , whats happened since then ? i hope you got threw it & have started to live again , iam sure everyone would like an updat

i agree contact her , tell how you have matured & have thought about her and what her friendship means meant to you then & hopefully now . Whats the worse that can happen ? go for it !

i agree it does happen to men too , in fact i'd say that often woman hold the power in all my relatioships & as i try to make everything good its taken as a signal that everything will be forgiven which at times it has been . Even now i would give my situation another chance if she said lets try it agian ! i know it would be a worse than before but hey we all want that special someone & when there not there we do & say anything right !

trust is everything , it comes from not haveing to even think about it , the second suspicisions exit trust is gone , . Your lucky that your back together & if that is what you want then you must go 100% into trust mode , if your mind says where is he/she it will eat you up ! i know believe me i know !

hi on the surface its another relationship issue , but theres a twist or two ...i've been having a 'thing' with a woman at work over the past 6 years , we have always kept it quiet though ,shes married but separated & the secret element made it fun & i thought brought us closer . Over the last 6 months she has made excuses about seeing me at times that we would have normally spent together . On her birthday i went round with some flowers ....only to find one of our company directors Mercedes in the driveway! I thought for a moment , but still knocked the door, she came to an upstairs window & said i could'nt come in because her son was i'll & the doctor was there , and his car was only left there while this guy was away on business as it got scratched at the airport carpark ! Now i confronted her later with this & she said that she was not having an affair & not to worry . Not easy.... I tried but it kept cropping up, we are now at a point where she still says i was wrong but wants to finnish because i've hurt her by doubting her , the issue now is i have to see them both at work everyday ! Work has suffered , no concertration , constantly heart pounding , sleepless nights & depression has really set in . All this would be just another relationship break-up with a twist , if i had'nt had a another relationship where my partner had gone off with a 'friend' which took along time to get over , its been at the back of why a reacted how i did , but i still feel it was reasonable to confront the situation even if i didnt have something similar happen before . Now i'm wondering if anything did go on , if so is that why shes been distant with me & have i played into thier hands by not ignoring it , and even if nothing ever went on between them could anyone NOT have suspicions ! i feel destined to be a lonely old man ( im 39) & the worst of it all is i can't tell anyone as no friends ever met her & work pals didnt know we were in a relationship ! thats what brought me here , i do feel really desperate i've read a few posts and look forward to hearing from anyone who has an opinon