saltycrispy Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 Since splitting up, I thought I was ok, all amicable etc. The thing is, at first having a few drunken benders with mates seemed ok. But it has evolved into me having benders at home by myself, maybe a couple per week. My behaviour is also risky and a worry when I am getting drunk, I’ve done some stupid things. So now I’m hung over, off work “sick”, freaking out as last night I think I topped it all. Got blind at home, ordered an Uber to see an escort, withdrew $1000. I can’t remember heaps, but, I recall thinking they stole some of my cash. So I’m nude saying loudly “Give me back my mother f-in money” and a few other things at 2 escorts, I remember them taking a video of it and they sent it to someone via text. They would have been pretty scared, I feel horrible. I’m really worried of the potential ramifications, freaking out. Do other people make mistakes like this? Or am I just messed up? Will I be ok? And I clearly need to stop drinking, something I will address. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 Maybe this is what AA calls "Rock bottom"? Link to comment
saltycrispy Posted August 10, 2020 Author Share Posted August 10, 2020 Maybe this is what AA calls "Rock bottom"? Yeah, pretty messed up by my standards so I’m a bit rattled. I think it’s unlikely there will be any future ramifications, but there’s a lot that could happen so I’m stressing at the thought of it. Link to comment
saltycrispy Posted August 10, 2020 Author Share Posted August 10, 2020 What could happen? Extortion is my biggest concern, I’m pretty ashamed of the whole thing. There’s always going to be the video somewhere. STD (I think it was safe, still risk). I dunno, I thought maybe someone could come after me for the way I carried on, but maybe that’s anxiety more so than a realistic scenario, nobody was hurt or anything I just carried on like a drunken head, there’s no benefit for them to do so. But thanks for asking the question, I get really anxious after drinking, feel a total mess at the moment. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 You can get support and post your stories on AA sites. People most likely have been on the road you're on and can relate to you. You could get help there https://www.aa.org/pages/en_us/is-aa-for-you-twelve-questions-only-you-can-answer Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 You will be okay, but you will need to get the right kind of support in coping with your pain. Self-medicating with booze obviously isn't working, and it's leading to more problems. Do you think you can give up alcohol on your own? Link to comment
DancingFool Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 They took the video most likely for self protection in case you become violent or try or do actually harm them. Evidence forwarded most likely to a friend in case things really get out of hand. You do need to get tested for STD's now and again in 3 months. No, it's not safe what you did. Stop drinking cold. Not even a drop from now on. If you can't, get professional help. Getting drunk once or twice over a break up is normal. What you are doing is way above and beyond and has to stop now, before you lose your job to boot. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 You need to talk to someone right now. Try an online crisis counselor and do a facetime session or two. I think you will feel better once you have a one on one talk with someone. You are not an alcoholic....drinking isn't your problem, but the grief you have been holding back is. Once you deal with that, your need to drown your sorrows will be gone. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 Don't wait until you end up in an ER or jail cell to start doing something. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 I suggest you seek some therapy. Pronto. I also recommend that you get tested for STDs. I doubt they would use anything against you. It was taken for the benefit of their safety. This is a huge wake up call. Good luck. Link to comment
melancholy123 Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 Today is a good day to call up AA and start the program. I knew a guy who sounds a lot like you and unless and until you get help, the outlook is not good. Link to comment
smackie9 Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 Google "AA, are you an alcoholic or not." There are 12 questions. Take the survey. When you call about a going to a meeting, they are going to ask you these questions anyways. Once I recommended AA to someone, and they determined he wasn't an alcoholic...he had psychological issues, and needed a therapist instead. Link to comment
saltycrispy Posted August 27, 2020 Author Share Posted August 27, 2020 Thanks for the advice, I stopped drinking at home by myself which is good. My new problem to address is when I do drink with friends, I’m one of those people that don’t stop drinking until I’m blackout drunk. It’s really annoying, and I do regretful things almost always, such as call escorts, shag randoms, waste money. I am paranoid it’s part of my reputation, a bad drunk, I’m not sure though and would like to do all measures to repair it. Option A - Don’t drink ever Option B - Find a way to control my drinking Whenever I have more than 2 drinks, it’s pretty well game over. I become complacent when I have been ok for a while, and then turn one on. Maybe better in AA forum however I prefer here. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Can you attend virtual AA meetings? Link to comment
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