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One Bender Too Many


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Since splitting up, I thought I was ok, all amicable etc.

The thing is, at first having a few drunken benders with mates seemed ok. But it has evolved into me having benders at home by myself, maybe a couple per week. My behaviour is also risky and a worry when I am getting drunk, I’ve done some stupid things.

So now I’m hung over, off work “sick”, freaking out as last night I think I topped it all. Got blind at home, ordered an Uber to see an escort, withdrew $1000. I can’t remember heaps, but, I recall thinking they stole some of my cash. So I’m nude saying loudly “Give me back my mother f-in money” and a few other things at 2 escorts, I remember them taking a video of it and they sent it to someone via text. They would have been pretty scared, I feel horrible.

I’m really worried of the potential ramifications, freaking out.

Do other people make mistakes like this? Or am I just messed up? Will I be ok?

And I clearly need to stop drinking, something I will address.

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What could happen?

 

Extortion is my biggest concern, I’m pretty ashamed of the whole thing. There’s always going to be the video somewhere.

STD (I think it was safe, still risk).

I dunno, I thought maybe someone could come after me for the way I carried on, but maybe that’s anxiety more so than a realistic scenario, nobody was hurt or anything I just carried on like a drunken head, there’s no benefit for them to do so.

 

But thanks for asking the question, I get really anxious after drinking, feel a total mess at the moment.

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They took the video most likely for self protection in case you become violent or try or do actually harm them. Evidence forwarded most likely to a friend in case things really get out of hand.

 

You do need to get tested for STD's now and again in 3 months. No, it's not safe what you did.

 

Stop drinking cold. Not even a drop from now on. If you can't, get professional help. Getting drunk once or twice over a break up is normal. What you are doing is way above and beyond and has to stop now, before you lose your job to boot.

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You need to talk to someone right now. Try an online crisis counselor and do a facetime session or two. I think you will feel better once you have a one on one talk with someone. You are not an alcoholic....drinking isn't your problem, but the grief you have been holding back is. Once you deal with that, your need to drown your sorrows will be gone.

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Google "AA, are you an alcoholic or not." There are 12 questions. Take the survey. When you call about a going to a meeting, they are going to ask you these questions anyways.

 

Once I recommended AA to someone, and they determined he wasn't an alcoholic...he had psychological issues, and needed a therapist instead.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Thanks for the advice, I stopped drinking at home by myself which is good. My new problem to address is when I do drink with friends, I’m one of those people that don’t stop drinking until I’m blackout drunk. It’s really annoying, and I do regretful things almost always, such as call escorts, shag randoms, waste money. I am paranoid it’s part of my reputation, a bad drunk, I’m not sure though and would like to do all measures to repair it.

 

Option A - Don’t drink ever

Option B - Find a way to control my drinking

 

Whenever I have more than 2 drinks, it’s pretty well game over.

 

I become complacent when I have been ok for a while, and then turn one on. Maybe better in AA forum however I prefer here.

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