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Thread: He is not that into me. Delete him from social media?

  1. #21
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    Originally Posted by j.man
    Man. No way is he gonna be able to celebrate his birthday now.
    No need to be rude. Did you get offended? As I wrote someone in a previous comment that I should stop messaging (initiating) him and stop being clingy. So Iím going to stop initiating and being clingy.

  2. #22
    Platinum Member Rose Mosse's Avatar
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    Just listen to your own gut instincts. Look, if he's not really seeming like his words are measuring up to his actions, you get to make the call. Things will fall into place with the right person. You don't need to feel ashamed or bad about it not working out.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by Caty
    Well, someone in a previous comment said that I should stop messaging him and stop being clingy.
    Well, I don't agree with that. Sending one message (which again he replied to immediately which would strongly suggest he's "into" you) is NOT clingy, not even close to clingy.

    Clingy would be continuing to message him after not replying back to your first. But he did reply, so it's all good!

    And remember, he messaged you first after your lovely date, which I don't believe he would have done if he were not into you.

    Moving forward, I would now allow him to send the next message. And equal back and forth, give and take.

    I think it's absolutely fine that he didn't lock you down for the next date.

    No doubt he had a nice time, but it's quite possible he is now processing all of it, and/or he's got a lot going on before you leave.

    You simply cannot be expecting a man to drop his life after having one date with you.

    That is a totally unrealistic expectation, and if this is truly your thought process, then as I said, perhaps you should not be dating right now.

  4. #24
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    Originally Posted by bluecastle
    I have to say you sound sound awfully tight. I'd honestly be curious to know how much time passed between the emoji text from him and you turning here to ask if she you should delete from your life because it's "clear" you'll "never" see him again. Twenty minutes? Two hours?

    I mean, less than 24 hours ago you were with this dude, and by all accounts your exchanges since have been universally positive.

    The writing is on the wall here that, should this develop into something with real traction, that's not really going to happen for a few weeks, when you're both back from your travels. Cool. Maybe you get to see each other before thatógreat. If notóalso great. And if you can't have that attitude right nowówell, chill with dating for a bit.

    Kind of sounds like you're cutting off your nose to spite your face. You're treating this guyóa dude who just took you out and has only been responsiveólike he's a longterm boyfriend who has been taking you for granted for years and you've had it up to here and are now shown' him who's boss.
    For the third time, someone in previous comment wrote that I should not be clingy and stop initiating.. If I send him another message tomorrow then it would be me initiating and being clingy. Why are you getting so offended?

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  6. #25
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    Originally Posted by Caty
    For the third time, someone in previous comment wrote that I should not be clingy and stop initiating.. If I send him another message tomorrow then it would be me initiating and being clingy. Why are you getting so offended?
    No one is suggesting that you send him another text. Where did you get that?

    In fact, if you read my last post, I advised you to now wait for him to send the next text.

    I am not sure why you keep "clinging" to the notion that you were clingy.

    It was one poster who said that, everyone else is advising you to chill, it all sounds very cool and positive. Again, it's been ONE day since your date. Slow the roll.

    Relax, go on your vacations, and see how it plays out when you both get back.

    Are you always this negative OP?

    Serious question.

  7. #26
    Super Moderator Capricorn3's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Caty
    He replied almost straight away when I messaged him first.. Well, itís his bday tomorrow and Iím not going to wish him a happy birthday. Thatís for sure.
    Wow, talk about shooting yourself in your foot. You don't think this is immature and petty?

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980

    Are you always this negative OP?

    Serious question.
    Iíve been disappointed so many times in life, so instead of thinking positively and get disappointed, I protect myself from being disappointed. Iím obviously very insecure about myself, especially when it comes to my looks. I feel that when I text a guy, theyíll think that Iím conceited because I think heís interested in me. Iím also thinking that why should he be interested in me when there so many other women who are beautiful, have a stable good job and so on.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by katrina1980
    No one is suggesting that you send him another text. Where did you get that?

    In fact, if you read my last post, I advised you to now wait for him to send the next text.

    I am not sure why you keep "clinging" to the notion that you were clingy.

    It was one poster who said that, everyone else is advising you to chill, it all sounds very cool and positive. Again, it's been ONE day since your date. Slow the roll.

    Relax, go on your vacations, and see how it plays out when you both get back.

    Are you always this negative OP?

    Serious question.
    To add, often times such negativity is a self-fulfilling prophecy.

    Meaning, the negativity itself will actually cause to happen what you're anticipating will happen -- that being, he's not into you and doesn't wish to go out with you again.

    It can become a vicious cycle, each disappointment causing you to plummet even deeper into your negativity.

    On the other hand, if you remain happy, positive and chill, he will be drawn to that positivity (most men are), which may very well result in his interest in you increasing!

    Negative attitude, negative energy = negative result.

    Positive mindset, positive energy = positive results!!

  10. #29
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    Originally Posted by Caty
    Iíve been disappointed so many times in life, so instead of thinking positively and get disappointed, I protect myself from being disappointed. Iím obviously very insecure about myself, especially when it comes to my looks. I feel that when I text a guy, theyíll think that Iím conceited because I think heís interested in me. Iím also thinking that why should he be interested in me when there so many other women who are beautiful, have a stable good job and so on.
    This is one time where I would strongly suggest therapy Caty.

    Best of luck.

  11. #30
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    Listen to "Owner of a lonely heart" by the band Yes.

    You're doing the old preemptive strike method, which is a great way to make sure no one ever gets close to you again.

    Is that what you want?

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