whitesand3 Posted August 31, 2018 Share Posted August 31, 2018 My boyfriend cheated on me after getting super drunk on a night out last year. We broke up for a few months and recently got back together. I however can't help but feel super anxious whenever he goes drinking and clubbing now. I don't want to control his social life, but I can't help feeling the way I do. He expects me to just trust him, telling me the way he feels towards me now is a lot stronger than it was then. He is out at a club tonight, and I'm here awake overthinking. We are also moving in together at University in a couple weeks, and I am worried he might cheat again. Any advice on how to deal with this? Thank you in advance :) Link to comment
Qwerty55 Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 You know OP, if I were you, I'd probably wouldn't go back to my ex who cheated on my. The trust was already broken and it's hard to fix it back. If you are worried and overthinking he might cheat on you again then it's better to leave this relationship because tbh, the chances of him cheating again is HIGH and overthinking will only stress you out. Link to comment
sosavvy Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 There’s no way to “deal” with the trust that has been broken as the last poster stated. He’s obviously still young and immature to still to go a club without you after what has already happened. That’s not a way to build any sort of trust that has been broken. You don’t necessarily have to break up with (even though it would be smart but I’ve been there I get it) but moving in with this person is a REALLY bad idea. Link to comment
DanZee Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 Well, if you move in with him, at least you'd be able to watch him. But if he keeps going off and parties without you, I don't see how you can trust him. Chances are he's going to do something stupid sooner or later. If you're roommates in college, you won't be able to throw him out. So what sosavvy says about not moving in with him is a good point. Link to comment
MissCanuck Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 He expects me to just trust him, telling me the way he feels towards me now is a lot stronger than it was then. He is out at a club tonight, and I'm here Wow, how awesome for you. So last year when he cheated, it was because he just lukewarm about you? Ugh. I would be insulted by that insinuation. I hope you are reading between the lines on that. OP, that right there tells me you cannot expect a serious commitment from him. He's still immature and not really in a place to make wise choices. Are you moving in, just the two of you? Or will there be other roommates? I really don't think it's wise to live together at this point. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 Sorry to hear this. If he still goes out clubbing and drinking without you he's not ready for an exclusive relationship. Getting back together is telling him you are fine with cheating. He realizes you'll easily be fooled again so of course he's telling you to "just trust him". Do not move in with him. You will be alone every night while he is out clubbing, drinking, hooking up and just tells you "trust him". Respect yourself and don't become the roommate-fool for a cheater. Get decent roommates and more importantly date decent guys.My boyfriend cheated on me.We broke up for a few months and recently got back together. I however can't help but feel super anxious whenever he goes drinking and clubbing now. We are also moving in together at University in a couple weeks, Link to comment
IAmFCA Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 Why would you live together at uni??? That's the perfect place to make a break. Get what YOU want, OP. That is your responsibility to yourself. Always. Link to comment
catfeeder Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 He is out at a club tonight, When nothing changes, nothing changes. I wouldn't move in with him. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted September 1, 2018 Share Posted September 1, 2018 Well, if you move in with him, at least you'd be able to watch him. But if he keeps going off and parties without you, I don't see how you can trust him. Chances are he's going to do something stupid sooner or later. If you're roommates in college, you won't be able to throw him out. So what sosavvy says about not moving in with him is a good point. Why would anyone want to be in a relationship with someone they had to "watch"? End it unless you want to spend all your time sneaking looks at his phone, going through his pockets, stressing out every time he leaves the house, etc. Link to comment
Lester Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 The net result of being used is that you waste years of your life. Link to comment
Wiseman2 Posted September 2, 2018 Share Posted September 2, 2018 Go to uni to study, get your degree, enjoy all the available campus activities, people and fun. Do not live with a guy you have to henpeck, mother, police and patrol "because he makes you anxious". I however can't help but feel super anxious whenever he goes drinking and clubbing now. We are also moving in together at University in a couple weeks, and I am worried he might cheat again. Link to comment
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