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Everything posted by sosavvy

  1. I totally get your response. You need to live life and learn, and realize things on your own. There is nothing anyone can say to change your mind. My first love was everything... at the time. Your life will evolve in its own time, and you will figure it all out! If u aren’t ready to leave, don’t. Not because that may or may not be the “right” thing to do. But because from experience staying longer opens your eyes to lessons learned. I would never have found my husband if I didn’t stay with certain people that didn’t deserve me. It carved me into the person I am. Don’t feel bad, just go with yo
  2. 100% agree Neither are right for you. Take a break from dating and once you don’t need the validation of a partner you will find the right one.
  3. I would just tell him that you want to feel like his priority and if it were the other way around that you have always considered his feelings, and you wish for that to be reciprocated. His actions will speak louder than words, but also if he doesn’t know this bothers you, he can’t change without knowing how you feel. Often people are oblivious to their actions and how it makes someone feel, without ill intent. Let him know without sounding jealous or like he’s doing something wrong just put it on the table. After that you can judge by what he does next where his priorities lie
  4. No you’re not too sensitive. Follow your intuition, this is not an ideal living situation for a couple.
  5. You’re living in a fairytale. You repeatedly say how wonderful your relationship is but you’re bummed about flowers? I hope you ditch this thinking and just realize you have a good man and soak it up. I get it. You want a random gesture of love. But the fact that he’s a great man should be enough! Do you understand how lucky you are? By having a skewed TV like reality in your mind could screw up something great! No one is perfect and it will never be the way you imagined. But come on you have a great guy! Who cares about flowers or romantic gestures. I guarantee it could be a bajillion times w
  6. This will probably not be a popular opinion, but as a woman myself have you ever thought that maybe your actions have driven him to this behavior? “Sex is a freakin joke” but could this be because he can sense you’re not really into it or trying because of how hurt you are? He’s not concerned about your vomiting, maybe because he’s tired of the way you treat him? Is it possible that he obviously still loves you, but he’s not getting his needs met by you in other ways (not even sex) which is why he is not sympathetic? Just maybe if you could let the resentment go and wake up every day and say
  7. Everyone needs their alone time, I don’t find it strange at all unless there are other circumstances you haven’t mentioned
  8. I have followed this thread and I can agree with Honeycomb8 you seem like a great man and you will come out better than before. I went through hell before I met my husband and I think life just prepares you to be someone great for the person you are meant for. I’ve been through divorce and crappy partners but I can’t say that I would appreciate what I have if it weren’t because of everything I have been through. There is light at the end of the tunnel
  9. You said she regularly looks at your FB page? But you also said she has been blocked on all platforms for years... “I learned from a friend who still talks to her that she has been asking about me and she regularly visits my Facebook page.” I’m confused. And she has pictures of you AND your girlfriend on her phone? It’s been 5 years. This is weird and you’re not being totally honest. I’m more concerned for the girl you’re dating now.
  10. He very well could be oblivious. I do think at his age he should be picking up on it, but I do know people that just genuinely don’t pick up on the ulterior motive, and just take people on face value. I also do not think that you should have to start going out of your way to spend more time with him than you have been or take up his time on the phone because at the end of the day, if he wants to do something with her, he will do it. You will ruin the relationship by smothering him. Whatever you have been doing has been working, it’s irrational to think if you take up as much of his time as
  11. Which is why you need to just have a sit down talk with him. I don’t think it’s him with the bad intentions, but he needs to realize this bothers you and no matter how nice of a guy he is this is effecting your relationship. Your needs, need to come first therefore this friendship of his should end no matter how much he wants to be a nice friend for her. She has other motives and you have a very strong feeling of that which I would listen to. If he is the good man you believe him to be then he will listen to your concerns and act appropriately
  12. Yes you need to sort this out now before it gets out of control. If you wait you will only get increasingly stressed and put a bad vibe into your relationship. While I think friends of the opposite sex are ok in most situations as long as it is completely platonic, she clearly wants more which is not ok. He needs to either end the friendship or end the relationship if he is unable to stop contact with her. Trust your instincts.
  13. There’s no way to “deal” with the trust that has been broken as the last poster stated. He’s obviously still young and immature to still to go a club without you after what has already happened. That’s not a way to build any sort of trust that has been broken. You don’t necessarily have to break up with (even though it would be smart but I’ve been there I get it) but moving in with this person is a REALLY bad idea.
  14. I totally agree. You could also cook her dinner... or even better cook dinner together, especially if she’s driving to you, there’s other ways to not spend so much money. You don’t have to go out every time. That’s a lot of driving to see you to be complaining about the dinner check. Just my opinion
  15. He’s not your best friend. 7.5 years later and you are still not a part of his real life. 4 years ago his relationship broke down and you are still nothing but sex, which began as an affair. You have never met his children or family because he has no intention of that ever happening. You break it off. Unless you want to live the rest of your life being on call for this guy with no emotional return. You’re a secret. Which is crap on his end (and yours too for being with a married man if you want my honesty) but it’s coming time you wake up and start to realize your self worth. You don
  16. Just because they are blood related does not make it an obligation to have them in your life. Your sister sounds like the only sound person you have in your family and your mom tried to ruin that too. I don’t know why your sister wasn’t mentioned in the birthday dinner debacle. These people make your life stressful. And you changed your whole plan for YOUR birthday. If they want to be a part of your life then they need to bend and do what you want to do for your day, not the other way around. If they can’t accept your lifestyle... and holy cow says “she didn’t know what it was like to
  17. I get anywhere from literally 2-10 calls a day from some sort of solicitor trying to sell a warranty, help me with my credit card debt that doesn’t exist, etc. All random numbers. I’m in such a habit of just clicking ignore I don’t even think about it anymore. Granted it’s not at 11:30 but I’ve gotten them late as late as 9:30. Depending on what time zone you’re in maybe that could explain it. And they call from local numbers even though they may be in another country. I feel like since you didn’t think anything about it at the time that she didn’t give off any red flags. So it wasn’t an i
  18. Ok so I have tried to edit my response and I get an error message every time. I meant: “you don’t believe she knows” you haven’t been with anyone. I don’t know how old you are but you have held off so why rush into it with a girl you’re into for two weeks? Things like that happen naturally. Don’t push it or think too much into it. But out of curiously how old are both of you? I’m struck by your statement that if it doesn’t happen soon you will lose her. That is not a reason to have sex with someone. You will regret it if you do
  19. Does she know you haven’t been with anyone before? Edit: I reread and see u said she doesn’t believe she knows. How do you know she’s been with 15 but she doesn’t know your past? Just curious?
  20. Key word here is “think”. You either love her or you don’t. In my opinion when you have to think about it, you don’t. You’re young there’s no shame in exploring other options just don’t string your girlfriend along for it.
  21. I feel like you need to stop dwelling on the physical features of your nose. I totally understand having insecurities about your looks! Instead of dwelling on your looks when you are engaging with people, put your best personality traits ahead of that. Instead of maybe thinking I know this person is looking at my nose, shift your thinking towards I know this person is going to love (just an example I obviously don’t know you) but they’re going to love me for being funny, kind, etc. Especially at 19 this is hard to do, but have you ever noticed there might be that girl that is drop dead gor
  22. You have to either let it go or move on. Whether it happened or not at this point it doesn’t matter, no good can come from dwelling on something that happened almost a year ago. You may hate his job, but that’s what he does. And you knew that. He’s not going to quit nor should he. If his life style is not a match for you, then it’s simple that you are not compatible.
  23. Also this is the mother of his other children right?... what is his relationship with them? If he already has children with her she will always be a part of his life, no matter what. Am I missing something?
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