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Thread: How do I keep this a secret from my parents? Birth control?

  1. #21
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    I think if my daughter limited her chances of getting pregnant by some fly by night that she just wants to experiment with, I'd rather she came to me of course to discuss birth control, but if she was afraid to, I'd rather she went behind my back to keep her from falling pregnant at 17.

    Op: I'm sorry you are afraid to go to your mother to discuss sex and sexuality. Its situations like yours that go on far too often and why first world countries like the USA have such a high incidence of unwanted pregnancy and single motherhood.

    It is good the hear that you are at least trying to keep yourself pregnancy and STD free. Don't let him near you without a condom on.

  2. #22
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    Originally Posted by Wiseman2
    Buying condoms and learning to use them should most definitely be in your sex education-experimentation syllabus. Not misusing or lying about your parents funds.

    Or developing a convoluted plot to obtain prescription birth control to defy and deceive your parents. While they don't need to know every sexual experiment or about a boy you like what you do together etc. Rebelling and lying to cut your nose off to spite your face is silly...and immature.
    I know how to buy and use condoms, in my post i say that he will use condoms, but birth control is something i want because you can never be too safe. I am not opposed to condoms neither is he. I am not trying to deceive my parents in any way; if this weren't such an awkward situation of just friends thing i would 100 percent tell them, i am just not comfortable with that right now and i think the most mature thing is to not get pregnant at 17.

    Also, birth control doesn't have one use; it would help get my irregular period, it would help my cramps. I shouldn't have to conduct a plot to get medication that will help me in the long run. I am not "rebelling" i am a horny teenager. It's 100% natural to feel that way (which i learned in my sex education class). Instead of going on dating apps and having sex with everyone i see, i am choosing to have SAFE sex with a guy who i know, trust, and treats me with respect- which is what my parents would prefer.

    I am opposed to buying birth control behind their backs- but the fact is parents need to stop being so controlling of their children so they aren't put in such awkward positions like this. This is why teenagers get STD's and pregnant because they have nobody they trust and can talk to- which is why i'm here, im not dumb and i do not want to become one of those STD pregnant ridden teens.

  3. #23
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    I think if my daughter limited her chances of getting pregnant by some fly by night that she just wants to experiment with, I'd rather she came to me of course to discuss birth control, but if she was afraid to, I'd rather she went behind my back to keep her from falling pregnant at 17.

    Op: I'm sorry you are afraid to go to your mother to discuss sex and sexuality. Its situations like yours that go on far too often and why first world countries like the USA have such a high incidence of unwanted pregnancy and single motherhood.

    It is good the hear that you are at least trying to keep yourself pregnancy and STD free. Don't let him near you without a condom on.
    Thank you, that's the exact point i just made with a guy who was shaming me for trying to go behind their back. I will not let him near me without a condom on haha

  4. #24
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by samtyle
    Thank you, that's the exact point i just made with a guy who was shaming me for trying to go behind their back. I will not let him near me without a condom on haha
    That-a-girl!

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  6. #25
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    You are not mature enough to have sex if you lied to your parents about being at the movies.
    If you were mature, you would have gone to the movies on a proper date or you would have said you were going to play videogames.
    Not the kind of honesty you need to have sex.

    Honestly, condoms are not enough if he doesn't know how to use them properly.

    If he wants to date or have sex with you - instead of convincing you to sneak around your parents, he would do the opposite - act like a proper gentleman around them to gain their trust -- drop you back home when he says he will, or a bit early. Really go to movies. And then they will not watch like a hawk and if one day you go over and play video games, they won't even ask what you are doing.

  7. #26
    Platinum Member ThatwasThen's Avatar
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    He doesn't want to "date" her. They want to be sex partners who respect one another while being safe and in that circumstance, she is being mature. Why are people trying to shame her for taking care of her sexual health and protection from unwanted pregnancy?

    Granted, I don't agree with having non committed sex when one is a virgin but she has her stuff together at this point. Time will tell how she handles the non-committedness of her sexual union. Hopefully she won't shred her own heart in the process and should it not work out well, learns from the experience and not repeat it.

  8. #27
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    Originally Posted by abitbroken
    You are not mature enough to have sex if you lied to your parents about being at the movies.
    If you were mature, you would have gone to the movies on a proper date or you would have said you were going to play videogames.
    Not the kind of honesty you need to have sex.

    Honestly, condoms are not enough if he doesn't know how to use them properly.

    If he wants to date or have sex with you - instead of convincing you to sneak around your parents, he would do the opposite - act like a proper gentleman around them to gain their trust -- drop you back home when he says he will, or a bit early. Really go to movies. And then they will not watch like a hawk and if one day you go over and play video games, they won't even ask what you are doing.
    I eventually did tell her i just went to his house, and that we decided to not go to the movies- i never lie to them, i start to feel really guilty. But we don't want to date we don't have those feelings for eachother and lying to ourselves and pretending we have those feelings is worse. We do hang out without getting handsy with eachother, yesterday was the first time anything like that happened between us.

    He never convinced me to be sneak either (in fact my parents were asleep when he was picking me up so i was just going to text them, but he made me wake them up before we left), he asked if i wanted to come and hang out at his place; and i said yes, i didn't even tell him that i told my parents something else. He's been over here for dinner, met my parents and they think he is incredibly respectful (he is) and they love him. He did drop me home at 4 when my parents asked him to, and he bought me icecream on the way home. I've never had close guy friends, so no matter what they're going to watch me like a hawk.

  9. #28
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    Originally Posted by ThatwasThen
    He doesn't want to "date" her. They want to be sex partners who respect one another while being safe and in that circumstance, she is being mature. Why are people trying to shame her for taking care of her sexual health and protection from unwanted pregnancy?

    Granted, I don't agree with having non committed sex when one is a virgin but she has her stuff together at this point. Time will tell how she handles the non-committedness of her sexual union. Hopefully she won't shred her own heart in the process and should it not work out well, learns from the experience and not repeat it.
    Thank you for this, a lot of people on here see a teenager and automatically think i'm gonna screw up my entire life which is the exact reason i'm afraid to approach my parents

  10. #29
    Platinum Member Jibralta's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by samtyle
    My guy bestfriend and I have been hanging out a lot this summer, we've gone on so many adventures, and recently he has met my family. The minute my mom found out I've been constantly talking to this boy she got all weird and automatically thought i liked him and he liked me and we were a thing, but that's not the case. When he came over to my house, she watched us like a hawk regardless of the amount of times i told her he was just a friend. Well, yesterday i told her that i was going to see a movie with him when in reality i went to his place and we played video games. I knew she wouldn't be okay with me going over there for probably the exact things we did. We were playing games and out of nowhere he kissed me one thing lead to another and we made out a lot, amongst other things (no sex though).

    We talked and had decided we want to do it again, not all the time but an occasional fun time. My mom found out that i went over to his place yesterday because movies aren't 6 hours long, and she was a little thrown off by it but not mad. But, she's not going to let me go over there all the time because then she'll know. I am not a sneaky teen, and i am the WORST at lying especially to my parents. So, how do i continue this without telling my mom? We are being smart; the entire time we were making out anything he'd do he would ask permission because he didn't want to make me feel uncomfortable- also this isn't a norm for me this guy was my first kiss and stuff, so out of my element.

    Lastly, since we want to continue things we may take them a step further and have sex. He will of course wear condoms but i want to get on birth control because you can never be too safe. How do i go about that? I tried to get on a while ago for cramps but my mom got weird about it and danced over the topic. If I keep asking she's going to know it's because im fooling around with some dude, she already thinks it's weird how i've been spending so much time with him especially at his house. Like I said this whole thing is new to me and I have no adults who won't tell my mom about this, and if my mom finds out she'll put me on a short leash with this dude (it's happened to my brother).

    ^^^
    my parents are pretty strict so going to a clinic and stuff is not an option idk how i would get there and keep it from my mom
    Why do you need to have sex? Why can't you wait a few years?

  11. #30
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    I responded to your other post (under the other user name). I agree that another form of birth control in addition to condoms is smart.

    Why would it be "weird" for him to drive you to the free clinic or Planned Parenthood? If he wants to enjoy sexual activity with you, this should be a no brainer.

    The two of you can save up $50 or so for a donation to the clinic. They will give you condoms plus the form of birth control you choose.

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