UPDATE: She canceled in the last minute.. now what?

Hey!

So this is an update from the last post about my girl inviting me to her house. She just canceled the last minute saying that she is sick and don't know if I could come. I replied with "It's fine, get well and I will se you soon" she then wrote: "thanks".

After she sends me the text she then took to snapchat sending me a video of her playing with her sister and her cat. Consider that I met her three days ago she may have gotten sick on those days so it can be true that she is sick. BUT on the other side she is just not that interested in me anymore and are using excuses to stay away from me.

I then call her the next day (Which is today) just to check if she feels better and she says she does and then I go on saying that it is good and we can meet up next week. She just says "Ok" You know calling her to show that I care about her.

I'm not taking this as a huge deal as I believe she is really sick.

I think it's important for me to notice if it is any different behaviour she has when I ask her out next time. for instant if I ask her out in a few days and she use an excuse then I might think she is not interested. Further if I still ask her the second or third time and she still uses excuse THEN i know for sure that she is not interested.

So what is your opinion?

Thanks for reading!

Why did you start a brand new thread?

Folks will be confused as they don't know the history.

Going back to your first thread, given the fact you only met her three days ago, bringing her flowers or candy is way over the top, trying too hard -- IF she asks you over again, bring *yourself*; if she's cooking you dinner, bring a bottle of wine or something - something you can share together over dinner.

Re her being sick, who knows.

Bottom line, stop overthinking, you only met her three days ago, have you even gone on a date yet?

Why did you start a brand new thread?

 

Folks will be confused as they don't know the history.

 

Going back to your first thread, given the fact you only met her three days ago, bringing her flowers is way over the top, trying too hard -- IF she asks you over again, bring *yourself*; if she's cooking you dinner, bring a bottle of wine or somethings - something you can share together over dinner.

 

The her being sick, who knows.

 

Bottom line, stop over-thinking, you only met her three days ago, have you even gone on a date yet?

Hi Katrina. I started a new thread so people could see it on the home page. I did write it on my first thread but it seems like only one have noticed. I have been on fourth dates with this girl. The fourth date was three days ago (:

If she's sick on your three times, then you'll have your answer. You may have come on too strong too early.

Also I'm thinking the next time I ask her out it would be with her friends or at my place watching movie or cooking dinner.

Hi Katrina. I started a new thread so people could see it on the home page. I did write it on my first thread but it seems like only one have noticed. I have been on fourth dates with this girl. The fourth date was three days ago (:

You wrote: "Consider that I met her three days ago."

Sorry, misinterpreted that!

So you've had four dates and now she's sick.

You've called to check how she is, suggested you get together again, which frankly, sick or not sick, she did not sound all that enthused about, now leave it.

If she is interested, when she feels better, she will get in touch.

Katrina: yeah that was a good advice :) thanks

Do not ask her to your place, if you think it's too soon and she got nervous by you coming to her place, coming to you isn't any better.

I would back off and let her initiate contact now because she doesn't sound all that interested to be honest. Her reply to meeting up next week with just an ok isn't real positive to me. I would let her make contact now!

How else do you answer an ambiguous "maybe we can get together next week." other then "ok."

Ask her on a specific date to do a specific thing with you outside of her house and your house and if she comes up with an excuse not to then don't bother with her anymore... her decline of your invitation will tell you all you need to know.

Only speaking for myself, but when I'm really into a man I've already had four dates with, when he suggests we see each other again the following week, I'm gonna respond a bit more enthusiastically than "ok."

Meh and blah.

Don't need him to set a specific day, time and place right then and there, especially when I'm sick and just cancelled the last date.

I would actually interpret that as quite pushy under the present circumstances. Let me get better first, then we can schedule something.

Just me though.

Not me, if someone wants to get further along with me he needs to do more then make some ambiguous "maybe we can get together next week." That kind of invitation is too open ended for me to get excited about... especially after only four dates.

How else do you answer an ambiguous "maybe we can get together next week." other then "ok."

 

Ask her on a specific date to do a specific thing with you outside of her house and your house and if she comes up with an excuse not to then don't bother with her anymore... her decline of your invitation will tell you all you need to know.

I haven't tought about giving her a specific date and time, I will do so after she get better :) Good advice!

Good luck, I hope her seeming indifferent is due to her not feeling well. Let us know how it goes and if she isn't wanting to go or she doesn't suggest another date and time if your time isn't good for her then forget about her. Her loss, not yours is the best attitude to have going forth.

Not me, if someone wants to get further along with me he needs to do more then make some ambiguous "maybe we can get together next week." That kind of invitation is too open ended for me to get excited about... especially after only four dates.

Fair enough but from his perspective, she had just cancelled their last date.

Plus she was sick, so let her get better first and then schedule something more definitive.

I can't even think straight when I'm sick let alone agree to a specific day and time for our next date.

But fair enough if the way he handled it would have turned you off.

I agree the vague rescheduling effort was a mistake, but not because it was vague. She cancelled, it's on her to reschedule. That's a very basic adult concept. Assuming she was actually sick, she should be permitted time and space to recover and fulfill any other backfilled obligations before setting a day and time with you. Between this and you getting tripped up over what to offer as tribute for her having simply invited you over suggests you're putting her on a pedestal. Princesses like that kind of thing. Women don't.

Don't make it a game, but give her space while she gets better. If she doesn't take it upon herself to set up another date, I'd write her off.

Only speaking for myself, but when I'm really into a man I've already had four dates with, when he suggests we see each other again the following week, I'm gonna respond a bit more enthusiastically than "ok."

 

Meh and blah.

 

Don't need him to set a specific day, time and place right then and there, especially when I'm sick and just cancelled the last date.

 

I would actually interpret that as quite pushy under the present circumstances. Let me get better first, then we can schedule something.

 

Just me though.

I was thinking the same! I don't wanna feel pushy that is why I did not give her a specific time so I said I will send you a message soon. Thinking to wait 2-3 days maybe she will feel better and then I give her a specific time.

I was thinking the same! I don't wanna feel pushy that is why I did not give her a specific time so I said I will send you a message soon. Thinking to wait 2-3 days maybe she will feel better and then I give her a specific time.

She already told you she was feeling better when you text her. Anyway, use your own intuition on this. I just wouldn't take an "Ok" as not having interest (although that may be the case). You will find out one way or the other when you ask specifically. Good luck.

I agree the vague rescheduling effort was a mistake, but not because it was vague. She cancelled, it's on her to reschedule. Assuming she was actually sick, she should be permitted time and space to recover and fulfill any other backfilled obligations before setting a day and time with you. Between this and you getting tripped up over what to offer as tribute for her having simply invited you over suggests you're putting her on a pedestal. Princesses like that kind of thing. Women don't.

 

Don't make it a game, but give her space while she gets better. If she doesn't take it upon herself to set up another date, I'd write her off.

Agree I have to learn from my mistakes :) Thanks j.man!

Good luck, I hope her seeming indifferent is due to her not feeling well. Let us know how it goes and if she isn't wanting to go or she doesn't suggest another date and time if your time isn't good for her then forget about her. Her loss, not yours is the best attitude to have going forth.

Yeah I will let you now :) Thanks you so much!

I get overwhelmed seeing a lot of replies and I want to say thank you so much for the support everybody xD It helps me a lot!

Dude, she cancelled on you. Not saying it was malicious in any way, or that I doubt she was sick, but let her do the adult thing and step up to the plate when she's feeling well enough. Have some respect for yourself if you'd like it from others.

Sorry this happened to you OP. As you now know the ball is in her court. If she doesn't come through just know there are others.

OP, normally I would agree to let her initiate, but since you specifically told her you would contact her soon, then to *not* do so would send the message you don't keep your word, which is a poor message to send.

Contact again in a few days, feel it out.

If she's feeling better and happy to hear from you, then set something up.

OP, normally I would agree to let her initiate, but since you specifically told her you would contact her soon, then to *not* do so would send the message you don't keep your word, which is a poor message to send.

 

Contact again in a few days, feel it out.

 

If she's feeling better and happy to hear from you, then set something up.

I agree, please keep your word.

If someone is in to you, and has to cancel, they will reschedule. At the very least they will show some enthusiasm and state clearly they are looking forward to seeing you again. That has been my experience.

I'm also from the school of thought of being very specific when asking for a date. It's a good way to follow up, if they don't offer to reschedule. It just confirms non-interest if they waffle. In your case I would have waited a bit. Or at least try "Now that you're better, what's your weak like?" Her answer would reveal everything you need to know.

Be specific when you ask a woman out, anything but yes is no.