looking back on 6 months

Hey guys,

So i met this girl on tinder 6 months ago. We instantly clicked and got along well. At first she come off as being tomboyish but her personality and vibe attracted me towards her. Few days after the first date, she asked if we could just be friends. At the same time, i also found out she was seeing another girl and she told me, she was bisexual. the following days, weeks and months included us spending time with each other and we started to build a bond.

Around this time of building a bond, she told me she was demi sexual and needed to build an emotional connection for any commitment. being around each other and learning about each other led to her being comfortable around me. Closer to the present day, her relationship with the other girl she liked started becoming sour and work was starting to stress her. She started to feel depressed and opted to change careers. Now, she is thinking of moving states to pursue a better career if opportunities come around. I know i have no right to hold her back and is best to encourage her to follow her dreams. Knowing my love for her, its hard to let someone who understands me well and how we are very close together go. I too have been thinking for an year to move to the state she is planning to go but never acted upon.

The answer to this situation is obvious, but hearing and experiencing all the drama has put me in a position where answers are hard to see. Any advice, feed back and or options are welcome.

Thanks in advance guys.

If you want to move , talk to her FIRST.

If you want to move for your own sake, then that's something you need to do independently and individually. As in find employment, find a place to live, establish a social life for yourself, etc.

If you are wanting to move just to be around her, you better talk to her about it. She might not like that idea at all or might not be wiling to be too involved with you and be there for you once you move. It sounds like she is very actively seeking to shake up her life and seek out new adventures. That might involve shedding old skin.

Ultimately, for all your attachment to her, you are just her friend....if I understand it correctly? If so, this whole situation is liable to backfire on you hard and fast as she may actually reject any romantic advance from you.

Were you ever exclusive? Did it ever become a sexual or romantic relationship? Unfortunately everything she does seems to be unilateral decisions from multidating to moving, no?

Reconsider just tagging along behind her if this is not a plan you are included in.

i also found out she was seeing another girl and she told me, she was bisexual. she is thinking of moving states to pursue a better career if opportunities come around. I know i have no right to hold her back and is best to encourage her to follow her dreams.

If you want to move for your own sake, then that's something you need to do independently and individually. As in find employment, find a place to live, establish a social life for yourself, etc.

 

If you are wanting to move just to be around her, you better talk to her about it. She might not like that idea at all or might not be wiling to be too involved with you and be there for you once you move. It sounds like she is very actively seeking to shake up her life and seek out new adventures. That might involve shedding old skin.

 

Ultimately, for all your attachment to her, you are just her friend....if I understand it correctly? If so, this whole situation is liable to backfire on you hard and fast as she may actually reject any romantic advance from you.

i see. As much as i'd love to be with her, i guess i should stop pursuing before hits the fan.